Chapter 82: Looted Bones
I woke up the next day feeling tired and energetic at the same time.
"Ugh, I hate it when this happens." I said with a groan.
I forced my body to actually move so that I don't fall back to sleep and looked out of the window to see what time it was.
I saw that the sun was about halfway done setting, putting my estimated time at about 5-6 pm.
"I guess I woke up early today."
I could hear the Gods snort in my mind.
{Yeah, 'early'.} They said sarcastically.
I huffed in annoyance.
"Don't you patronize me!" I said with a slightly raised voice.
I then lowered my voice slightly, going below my normal speaking tone.
"I expected to wake up at around 10 pm, to be honest. My sleep schedule is not something I am proud of." I said.
{The hell did you do to get such a bad sleep schedule?} The Gods questioned.
"I want you to look me in the eye and say that again." I said in annoyance.
{Why?}
"Because you are the exact reason!" I said.
The Gods were silent for a moment, before speaking once more.
{Fair enough.} They said.
I was surprised by the normal response, as I expected them to have some annoying comeback.
{We can hear the narration you know.}
I had no idea what they meant.
{Of course you don't. You're simply a character in this story.}
I was unsure of what they were doing, as they were starting to speak cryptically.
{You may understand with time, but we hope you do not.}
"Why?" I finally asked, confused as to what the Gods were speaking about.
I could almost hear their grin somehow.
{Because that would ruin our fun.}
I just sighed at the antics of the Gods.
"Let's just move onto something else. It's too early to deal with some existential bullshit."
{It's never too early to make someone question their existence.}
"And that's why I am currently avoiding that topic. I don't want to have another mental breakdown."
{So... I guess you have the next plan in mind?}
I grinned.
{We should've guessed.}
"It's time for some loot." I said.
I pulled out the bag I looted from Skeletron and reached inside for the first item.
It was a glove.
A glove made out of bones.
[Bone Glove
11 Ranged damage Very weak knockback4% critical chance4%Very fast use time1 Velocity2 Effective Velocity33% chance to not consume bone]
"Huh." Was all I had to say.
{It's quite a useful item if you know how to use it.}
"But there's a slight problem with that reasoning, you know."
{And what's that?}
"I don't have any bones to throw!" I said in annoyance. It looks like such a cool weapon and I can't even use it.
{Then go and get some.}
"From where?"
{The same place you got the bag from. The Dungeon.} They replied.
"That sounds really obvious now that you mentioned it..."
{That's because it is obvious.}
I just reached back into the bag to pull out the next item.
And I was expecting anything but the exact item I got.
"A couch?" I asked, dumbfounded at my reward.
{An interesting reward.}
I looked at it to see if it was anything other than a piece of furniture.
[Chippy's Couch
Heeellllllo Terraria enthusiasts!'Great for chilling like a streamer!']
I just looked at the couch in confusion.
"What?"
The Gods were laughing at the description, but I was completely lost.
{It's a reference you wouldn't get.}
"And why is that?"
{Parrallel universes.}
"Okay, that explains the weird tagline for a description."
{You accepted that rather easily.}
"Why wouldn't I? Weird is just the new normal around here."
{Not the NEW normal. weird is just THE normal.}
"I really wish it wasn't though."
{Too bad.}
I simply sighed and reached back into the bag.
I pulled out one last item before the bag began to vanish.
It was a book with a skull emblazoned on it.
[Book of skulls
29 magic damageWeak knockback18 mana cost4% crit chance Average use timeVelocity: 3.5Shoots a skull]
"Oh that's actually pretty cool." I said, deciding to test it out.
I opened the book, noticing the very distinct drain of the foreign element.
I watched as the particles of blue light gathered in the middle of the opened book, forming into a flaming skull.
"I retract my statement of it being pretty cool." I said, now staring at the floating flaming skull.
"This is really freaking cool!" I continued.
I fired the skull and watched it slowly fly through the air.
It flew fast enough to be a viable weapon, yet also slow enough for it to be slightly easy to dodge.
It flew at the wall and exploded on impact, leaving a slightly charred area of wood marking my wall.
"At least this time the loot actually fit the actions of the monster it came from..." I said, remembering Crabulon and the Devourer.
'I mean, what kind of crab gives you a freaking gun, and what kind of world-devouring worm gives a scarf?'
{The fun kind?} The gods said.
"You know what? I can actually accept that as an answer when it comes from you. These items are the exact kind of stupid I would attribute to you." I said, blatantly insulting the Gods as always.
{You're damn right they are. Though I can't take credit for the crab.}
"And why is that?"
{Because we didn't make them. Another set of Gods did, although we don't exactly like them very much.}
I grimaced.
"So you're telling me that there's more of you?"
{Imagine us but slightly more professional.}
"I fell like that's an improvement though?"
{That's the problem, professionals will make everything make sense, yet we love to cause chaos.}
"So you're telling me that they're better at their job than you are?"
{Probably... But we will admit that we tend to avoid fixing our problems, leading to things spiraling out of control a bit.}
I raised an eyebrow.
"A bit? You nearly made several worlds lose all sentient life."
{But we fixed it!} The Gods shot back.
I just sighed and walked out of my room, needing some fresh air.
Too bad that today wasn't going to give me a break yet.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire The chapter's a little late, but then again I had to make a lot of actual conversation due to the fact that Skeletron doesn't have a lot of loot.
Anyways, I hope you enjoyed today's chapter!
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