Chapter 77: A New Day
I woke up the next day well-rested and still scared of the DoG. (I mean, who wouldn't be?)
To take my mind off of that, though, I decided to do some decorating, starting with the fountain I got.
I headed out of the house, which was surprisingly quiet, and looked for a good place to put the fountain.
And I soon realized that it was a windy day. A very windy day.
I looked at the outside and had a single thing to say.
"What the fuck?"
There were slimes everywhere.
And they were flying around via balloon.
'What? Why? How?'
I was at a loss for words, since I expected today to be somewhat normal.
{You should know that normal is a myth here.}
I sighed in response.
"I really wish it wasn't. I'd like a break for once."
{You? Take a break?}
"What? I'm not a workaholic. I'd love to take a break."
{And did you when you had the chance?}
"I had the chance to take a break?"
{We gave you two weeks to deal with the devourer of worlds and you decided to skip any relaxation and just kill it.}
I thought back to the whole devourer fiasco and quickly noted that the Gods were right.
"Damn it you did give me the chance to have a break! Why was I so stupid?"
{Was?}
"Don't antagonize me. You're more of an idiot than me!" I lowered my voice from a shout and muttered a slight consolation to myself. "I may be a spontaneous dumbass, but not as much as I was back then."
{We're not going to take that insult lying down, you know.}
A smirk formed on my face.
"What are you gonna do? Smite me?" I asked mockingly.
{Even better.}
"What-"
I was abruptly cut off by the sudden experience of being hit in the face with a slime.
It was not a fun experience since the balloon the slime was tied to popped immediately after we collided.
"-Oh." I quietly exclaimed, and then the Gods' laughs were the only thing I could hear.
{Perfectly timed! You should've seen the look on your face when you got hit!} The gods exclaimed happily, each line followed by a bout of laughter.
I pulled out my sword and cut the slime in half, killing it.
"Yeah, yeah. Laugh it off you pricks."
{You deserved it, and we are not taking second opinions.}
"Alright, now that I've been smacked by a slime, can anyone tell me what's happening?"
An unfamiliar voice popped up behind me.
"Well that's simple. It's windy outside and the slimes need to move about."
I definitely didn't jump several feet into the air when I heard the unfamiliar voice.
I turned around to face the unknown person.
"Who the hell are you?"
The newcomer shrugged at my question and responded.
"A little rude, but I'll answer anyway. The name's Hayley, and I'm a zoologist!"
I decided to ask a more important question now.
"And why are you here?"
Hayley shrugged again, this time accompanied by an energetic shake of her head.
"I've got absolutely no clue! Based on what I see so far, though, this place is mega rad!"
She started to gesture around energetically.
"I mean, look at all the nature, all the animals! I don't even know the last time I saw someone get hit in the face with a slime! This place looks like it'll never get boring!"
I was slightly ticked off when she mentioned the prank the Gods pulled on me, but I was annoyed by the time she finished her words.
I shot Hayley one of the flattest looks I could muster and said a single sentence in my most serious voice.
"You have no idea."
I decided to look at my new acquaintance in the eyes and I was surprised to see what I did.
I saw a muzzle. A freaking muzzle.
And fox ears.
"are you part fox or something?"
Hayley looked at me for a moment before realizing what I asked.
"Nope! I got like this when I saw this weird looking fox and tried to pet it. It bit me and I became like a fox! It's pretty rad!"
I looked at her skeptically.
"So you're a werefox now? Do you have the same traits as werewolves?"
Hayley looked at me with a confused gaze.
"What traits?"
I decided to list some off.
"Heightened senses." She nodded. "Goes crazy on a full moon." She paused at the mention of that.
This time it was my turn to look confused, and she soon clarified her pause.
"Well... I, like, haven't actually seen a full moon in a while. For some reason It's like I pass out every time one occurs."
I facepalmed and mentally checked the 'Goes crazy on a full moon' box off.
I looked at Hayley for a moment before speaking again.
"well, I ran out of traits I can remember. Sorry."
Hayley looked slightly disappointed at my words.
"Aww, that's, like, no fun! I wanted to see how similar I was!"
I blandly nodded, silently stepping away from the hyperactive werefox.
"Well, I gotta go do some exterior decorating, so see you around!"
I ran off with a wave, which Hayley returned.
'I really hope I don't see them again... I cannot deal with more than four hyperactive beings.'
{You do have a point there. We are quite high maintenance, after all. There's not enough room in this relationship for a sixth person.}
I blinked for a moment before registering the words of the Gods.
"What."
{Be quiet and let us monopolize you.}
I was quite confused at this point, so my only response was a very firm "Never!"
"I belong to the people!"
{But most of them are quite busy being dead at the moment if you haven't noticed.}
"Damn, I can't argue against that."
And then I had a thought.
"WAIT! Didn't YOU kill everyone?"
{Indirectly.}
"So this IS all a plan to monopolize me."
{We would never.}
"This is going into weird territory."
{You've been in weird territory since you arrived here.}
"Damn. That would explain the flying slimes then."
{Somewhat.}
And so my day started with an exciting start.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire Dear god I have no idea what just happened. The first 70% of the chapter was an actual effort in writing and the last 30% was Talon and the gods screwing around.
Welp, I apologize for whatever the hell just went down, but enjoy!
(I also tried to be accurate to the character of the zoologist. I hope it worked well)
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone