Chapter 43: Self Reflection
I used my magic mirror to head home and immediately sat on the nearest chair while trying my best to erase the scene of the field from my mind.
Sadly, it was burned into my mind since I was there for an extended period of time.
The goblin army had caused me to realize just how much about me has changed, voluntarily or not.
'I wish that they never approached me. Maybe I might've been able to avoid seeing such a scene for longer.'
The gods chimed in with their own thoughts on the matter.
{This was inevitable. You were going to have to see something like this at least once, and it will be your first experience of killing a sentient humanoid creature, in mass or singularly.}
I slumped over slightly.
'I just feel like I don't know who I am anymore. So many things about me have changed, and I never noticed it until now.'
{Change is subtle, and it happens over time. You cannot stop something that is inevitable to happen, but always remember that change isn't always a one-way street.}
I slightly straightened my back, but I was still slumped over in momentary depression.
I asked one question to the voice in my head:
'Why do I feel nothing when I saw that field filled with the result of my actions?'
{We know how peaceful your world is, and we know that it is impossible to alter your mindset without you losing a base part of your individuality, so we created a sort of mental block that-}
I was angry at the Gods for putting something like that in my mind, so I said one sentence:
'Remove it.'
{But we haven't told you about what it does!}
'I don't care. Remove. It.'
I could hear the Gods audibly sigh, and they spent a few minutes silent.
{Alright, but you will probably regret doing this.}
I was confused about why I would regret it.
'Why would I regret this?'
And then the floodgates opened.
And I was immediately put unconscious from the sheer amount of emotion that was returned to me from the block.
-Somewhere undefined, before the Gods took off the block-
The first voice was the one to express their annoyance at Talon's actions.
"He has the nerve to order us to remove something. He ORDERED us!"
The third voice also spoke up.
"He is going to overload his mind with all that emotion. He is seeking his own death, and we have no choice to help him since he is one of the very few things entertaining us right now."
The second voice voiced their thoughts with a hint of pride at their work.
"There is no need to worry, the rush of emotion will only send them into a coma for a day. We did extensive upgrades to our heroes, remember? They won't fall to an overload of emotion."
The fourth voice finally joined the conversation and said a single statement:
"We are running out of time to debate, let us vote on what to do."
The first voice took up the role of the speaker.
"All who want to remove the mental block, speak up."
The second, third, and fourth all spoke up.
"Well, I guess we will see the results of our tests."
All four voices seemed to gain a slightly corporeal body, and they all shared the same grin at the thought of seeing something new. (I was thinking of Truth from FMA, so I believe that you understand just how creepy this looks.)
-24 hours later-
I woke up in my own room, still not fully conscious after spending a whole day unconscious. (Though I don't know that.)
"The hell happened earlier?"
{The mental block was removed, but all the emotions it held remained contained within your mind, and you can guess how that went. You have been unconscious for approximately 24 hours.}
"Oh. That would explain the headache that just popped up."
{That was an unexpected side effect of you falling off of the chair and headbutting the floor.}
"I am not someone who prepares for anything, am I?"
{Based off of your past experiences, no. Not at all. Though you are one of the less impulsive people we have obtained from other realities.}
"If I'm one of the less impulsive, then you must have the worst sense for choosing people."
{We pull randomly, remember?}
"Not in the slightest."
{Good.}
"Alright, now I'm just confused at what is happening."
{We are currently trying to sidetrack you until you finally decide to do something other than sulk.}
"I am NOT sulking."
{You are entitled to your opinion, but we do have a warning for you. Do not think about anything that would be too gruesome for your normal mind to handle right now. Your mind is currently in the adjustment stages.}
"What?"
And then I accidentally thought about the field.
-A few minutes later-
I have never felt so sick before. I couldn't even speak, or I might throw up again.
'The hell was that?!'
{Your body being hit by all the disgust stored up by the block. Your body is still trying to disperse the condensed emotions, and you will have to deal with this for about two more days.}
'I was expecting it to take longer, but two days is better than any of my guesses.'
{Humans tend to adapt quickly.}
I was mentally exhausted by whatever had just happened, and I had only been awake for almost 30 minutes.
'I both do and don't regret this.'
{Why do you not regret this? The idea of removing the block seems like a mistake no matter how you put it.}
'Emotions give you more ideas, and those ideas will help me survive better.'
{We do not understand your thinking, but we will accept your opinion after some second thoughts about the matter.}
'Who the hell would you ask this to?'
{People that you need not know of yet.}
I could only accept that answer since the Gods seemed to have a 'no other questions' sort of tone right then.
'Alright.'
Today was exhausting, and I was too tired to even consider what everyone was thinking about my unexpected coma.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire I'm thinking of doing a Q&A chapter tomorrow, so you are free to ask any questions in the comments about the story.
I hope you enjoyed this short intermission chapter!
P.S. this is an early upload because I want to get back to playing animal crossing without having to stop in the middle of playing to update a chapter.
See ya!
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