Chapter 39: A Short Trip
A new day began, and I woke up earlier than usual.
I left my room and walked out of the house, and started looking for Jacob.
I found him a minute later, talking with our newest addition to the group.
"So you were left behind by your entire colony?"
"Correct. I was asleep during the attack, and none of the others woke me up to escape."
"How did you survive?"
"I stayed buried under the ground, so I looked just like any other mushroom in the grove. I was ignored by the beast."
"Interesting."
I decided to finally break into their conversation.
"Jacob, did Shiitake tell you about what the gods did yesterday?"
Jacob looked at me with confusion and interest.
"What did they do?"
"They started screwing around with physics and created gravity for everything."
"Jacob looked at me with some confusion at my words again.
"What?"
"let me just show you. Shiitake, we're doing the same thing as the test."
And so we repeated the testing for gravity, and Jacob watched in stunned silence at what had just occurred.
After everything happened, Shiitake left the scene to tend to his grove of mushrooms.
"So yeah, the gods screwed with the laws of gravity and made it act stupid. Well, more stupid than usual."
Jacob broke out of his stupor and refocused on what had just happened.
I could see him mutter something under his breath, but couldn't hear his words.
"Those childish morons. They just love f****** with reality."
After he muttered those inaudible words, he refocused on me.
"Can I see your magic mirror?"
I was confused by the rather abrupt question.
"Why?"
"because I need to do something."
"Alright, but don't break it. That thing nearly cost me my life."
As soon as I said those words, Jacob pulled out a purple potion.
"I won't. Now off you go. I have things to discuss without your presence."
And he threw the potion at me.
The bottle shattered, and I was gone.
I wasn't able to stay long enough to see Jacob smile at my previous location and say a few words before departing from the scene.
"Now for some explanations on our predicament."
-Somewhere else-
"Where the hell am I? And why did Jacob do that? Gods?"
All I heard was the dial-up sound.
{This number is unavailable.}
'When the hell did they get sound effects?'
I decided that the topic was irrelevant for the moment, and looked at my surroundings.
'Extremely hot, lava everywhere, demons and flaming bats flying around, destroyed and charred buildings, giant bone serpents, etc... Oh, I am absolutely f*****. When I get back, I am going to murder you Jacob. Next time you will be the one going to hell.'
I decided that shelter is very important at the moment since there were literal demons patrolling this literal hellscape.
So I pulled out my trusty pickaxe and started digging into the ash that made up the ground.
"well isn't this just delightful. I want to spend one day just enjoying life, and I end up sent straight to the boiler room. What a pleasant start to the day. Hey Gods, you finally going to answer my call?"
{Sorry, we were fixing bugs in our latest update. What did we miss?}
"JACOB SENT ME TO HELL!!!"
{But isn't that cool though?}
"I AM IN HELL, THIS IS ANYTHING BUT COOL!"
{You're a bit hot-tempered at the moment, aren't you?}
My anger quickly cooled down but did not dissipate at all due to the terribly timed pun.
"Okay, now that is a correctly themed joke, but now is really not the time to joke."
{Wow, you went from steaming rage to cold rage real fast.}
"well that tends to happen when you go through several stages of grief over the span of several minutes."
{And what stages might that be?}
"Shock, depression, anger, and acceptance. All in that order."
{That seems a bit out of order, but I don't doubt that that was how that went. Let's check the footage to see if you are correct in your description.}
"Wait, you have security footage?"
{We try our best to not miss the show, but if we do, we record the parts we miss to rewatch later.}
"I'm just a TV show to you, aren't I?"
{One of the best. At least I have friends to enjoy it with.}
"Thanks for the praise? Also, I hate you right now"
{You are welcome.}
And then I remembered about the time I tried contacting them earlier today.
"Why do you have dial-up phone service in my head?"
{Oh, that? It's a placeholder for whatever sound effect we will add in the future. We just haven't chosen our favorite annoying sound to pick.}
"I'm not looking forward to your chosen noise. I only hope that it has some comedic value."
{We will try our best to annoy you. we hope you enjoy our lifetime guarantee.}
I decided that I would just add to what they had said.
"Anything but lifetime guarantee, I'll even take an interest rate for yo services if you leave me alone for at least the last years of my life!"
{We apologize, but you agreed to the terms and service of our annoyance.}
"You know that nobody reads those, and I never agreed to anything! I want a refund!"
{We apologize, but there are no refunds to this service. We hope you enjoy our services.}
"Alright, enough of this stupid skit, we have held it too long."
{I feel that we have bonded over this. Do you?}
"I don't hate you any less, so no."
{Pity.}
And then Isaac walked out of a portal next to me.
He looked at me and asked one thing:
"Why are we in an ash-filled hole?"
I answered in my most deadpan voice.
"Because Jacob sent me to hell."
Isaac seemed amused at my words.
I guess he knows that Jacob has sealed his fate.
"Well that's a problem for later. Let's get out of here."
"How did you get here anyway?"
He held up a blue potion.
"Wormhole Potion. sends you to a friend of your choice."
"That's useful."
Isaac was amused at my words.
"Definitely useful when one of your friends gets sent to hell."
"This is not a fun experience, so don't joke about it."
"Don't worry, any truly skilled adventurer has been here once or twice by mistake. It isn't that rare of an occurrence. Let's just get out of here so you can beat up Jacob."
"Good reasoning, even if I needed none to want to leave here."
And so we left the hellscape that I was sent to.
As soon as I got back home, I ran up to Jacob and demanded why he teleported me.
He responded with an infuriating answer:
"I wanted to explain your situation, and I also wanted to prank you slightly."
I could only respond with one sentence:
"YOU SENT ME TO HELL BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO EXPLAIN THINGS WITHOUT ME BEING THERE?!"
Jacob looked amused.
"Yes."
My emotions switched back to cold rage and I walked away, but not before Jacob stopped me.
"Hey I almost forgot. Here's your mirror back. It's in perfect condition."
I snatched the mirror out of his hand and walked away even faster, not saying a single word.
As I was walking away, I could hear Jacob and Isaac talking.
"You really pissed the boy off. Are you sure that was worth it?"
"Entirely worth it."
"I get the feeling that you are going to regret doing this."
"I will never regret this. Tha day I do is the day I die."
I was going to make sure he was going to regret this.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire This chapter was interesting to write, especially since I unintentionally set up some stuff for the future.
Also some unexpected character development. (Unexpected for me too.)
I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone