Chapter 35: A Bit Too Mushroom
I left the house within the hour to find a cave since I felt that there was nothing else to do for the day besides search for those blue mushrooms.
I decided that a new cave would be my best bet at finding something new, so I began my search.
-1 hour later-
'I never knew caves would be so hard to find.'
{You went through a hole lot of trouble.}
'Remember what happened the last time you made a bad pun?'
{We got ignored for the rest of the night.}
'Then stop being a nuisance and focus on being helpful.'
{I guess we'll cave in since your request is reasonable.}
'I hate you.'
{We are glad to have pleased you.}
I could only sigh in annoyance and continue searching.
-5 minutes later-
"F****** FINALLY! A cave at last!"
I have never been happier to see a hole in the ground.
{Only took you over an hour to find one. I have forgotten about your rather unique luck.}
'Why did it take so long to find a freaking hole? I am starting to feel that the world hates me...'
{I am pretty sure that the world more than hates you at the moment.}
'The hell does that mean?'
{Nothing for now...}
'Great, more foreshadowing that I will be informed of after the foreshadowed event.'
{We are glad to see that you enjoy our services!}
'I am glad for nothing in this world.'
{We know.}
And so I began my delve into the weirdest cave I have seen up till now.
As soon as I entered I noticed there was a distinct lack of enemies.
And then I saw why.
There was a giant hole a few hundred feet into the cave, seemingly leading into a pitch black abyss.
I wasn't scared of the dark, so I decided that stupidity is the best course of action.
And so I jumped down and equipped my mount.
'This is a stupid idea that will either end great or normal.'
{What's the great result?}
'I bounce on an enemy.'
{That does sound great.}
And then the results came.
And I went flying back up.
'This sucks. I was not planning on getting pushed down and up at the same time.'
{This is great to watch for us!}
'Yeah for you. And ONLY you.'
{It is always enjoyable to see someone get the equivalent of a kick in the balls via an impromptu trampoline.}
'That is one way to put the events...'
{You should do it again!}
'I swear to some other gods, I WILL somehow find you, and when I di I will shove those words so far down your throat that you will be speaking out your ass.'
{Kinky.}
'You know what? You're getting banned form my mental voice chat.'
{Not agai-}
'I still can't believe that that actually cuts them off.'
{We can't understand how either.}
'What did I just say.'
{We were banned from your mental voi-}
'Correct.'
And the gods went silent.
Now to land correctly before I turn myself into a eunuch.'
Grappling hooks are way too handy in a world where gravity is about as useful as a bucket with no holes. (Pretty much a block of metal with no usefulness besides being a block).
I looked around the pit and noticed I was surrounded by slimes of all color.
Red, green, yellow, blue, black, purple, an umbrella...
'I forgot slimes can get umbrellas from wherever they come from...'
I almost forgot that all slimes were friendly to me when I saw the congregation of gels in the giant hole.
{That's a lot of slimes.}
'How did you get back here so fast?'
{We hacked in.}
'How the hell did you do that?'
{Godlike skills. We are also here to inform you that the world has gotten more dangerous once again.}
'Godsdamnit.'
{We do not damn it. In fact, we endorse the danger level rising.}
'Other Gods, then.'
{I still doubt that they would dislike the world becoming more chaotic.}
I was done trying to argue with them, so I just chose the easy way out.
'I give up. You win this time.'
{Well, we didn't expect that.}
'And you are getting ignored from here on out.'
{Not aga-}
And so I walked past the slimes and headed deeper into the caves.
While I already had a goal set, I still collected every material I saw. Especially the ores. This cave was filled to the brim with some really valuable ores.
-5 minutes later-
After I collected a veritable hoard of ore, I finally saw something different than the bland grey of the stone.
It was a glowing blue mushroom. And It was huge.
"That thing is the size of a tree!"
The mushroom was at the corner of a turn in the cave, so I rushed forward in hopes of finding more.
And I saw something I did not expect.
Everything was blue. Everything. Was. Blue.
"I can see why Isaac only said that they were blue. The mushrooms are kinda hard to miss."
{Indeed}
'I have kicked you out 3 times so far. Do not that number 4.'
The Gods went silent.
'Good.'
I walked deeper into the blue filled cavern, and I began collecting the mushrooms that almost coated the floor and walls of the cave.
There were a lot of mushrooms, and the smallest was at least the size of my head while the larges were gigantic trees
As I was collecting the mushrooms, I noticed that there was something standing in the corner of the room.
As soon as I looked at it, I could only see a giant crab.
And it was COVERED in mushrooms. There wasn't a part that was uncovered by mushrooms, and that creeped me out.
Since I was only mildly curious about what it was; I collected a small hill of mushrooms before even approaching it.
As soon as I approached it I noticed how weird it really was.
And I noticed a very important fact: It was dead.
So I decided that I would be safe to touch whatever it was.
But I was not expecting to be startled by an unknown voice that came from behind me.
"I don't recommend touching it. You'll most likely lose a hand."
I jumped into the air, turning after landing to see the unknown person.
It wasn't a person.
It was a mushroom.
A freaking mushroom.
I definitely didn't yell in surprise when I saw it.
I would never.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Cold_Housefire
Cold_Housefire And so we introduce the Truffle to the mess that is this story.
Where is this story going? I have no idea.
So just enjoy this chaotic mess with a million and 3 plotholes while you can.
I feel ashamed for the bad pun that has almost nothing to do with the chapter.
Weekly Power Status
-- Power
Ranking 
-- Power
stone