Chapter 10: Careless Whisper
Numb. Deprived of the power of sensation. If there could ever be a more perfect word to describe the absence of even the slightest bit of sentiment, Kore couldn't imagine it. Morning shined through her curtains and she still laid in bed. The motivation to face the day was completely gone. She hadn't slept, and she was sure that the evidence was written all over her face. By now, she would have large darkening rings forming under her eye and optical. The Signing wouldn't be for an hour, where she would be expected to stand with her brothers as they would cheer on the soldiers that have chosen to reenlist. Today, there would be no encouragement from her. The death they faced nearly every month had depleted what inspiration she had left. Alekai would be signing his life to the cause, to Everett. A few months ago, Kore had every intention of joining him in stride. Without question. He had changed everything. Suddenly, Kordelia had wanted more from this life than the constant fear of failing and dying on the battlefield. Suddenly, she could have envisioned a future for herself that would have been full of happiness, true happiness. One without worry that her make-shift family could be torn apart at any moment.
She sighed, a hollow sound, willing herself to get up. Still, she stayed. She watched the leaves rustle in the wind outside her window. The height of the sun was her only indication that she had missed morning training. Even though she let the numbness settle in her bones, she could make out the slight undertones of stubbornness. She absolutely, flat out refused to be partners with Adonai. Her morning routines would no longer be filled with playful competition, starstruck eyes, or meaningful stimulation. She had absolutely no desire to even be near Adonai. His intentions had been made crystal clear. It was repulsive, at best.
Kore thought through every moment she had encountered Adonai. Only, until recently, had he even given her an ounce of attention. Attention, she wished, that he would retract. She had overlooked every lingering look he had passed her way, every wayward comment that she ignored, and every potential pass he had made towards her. Maybe if she would have paid more attention to the signs, it wouldn't have come as such a shock for the way he was inserting himself in her personal matters. The altercation in the hallway had most likely only fueled his fire, turning whatever he had felt towards her into hatred. Or maybe just hatred for Alekai.
If her friends could see how she felt, then no doubt everyone they knew would have figured it out by now. It wouldn't be just hearsay weaving in and out of the troops. If Alekai had breathed even a word to anyone of what happened that day outside of Everett's office, it would explain Adonai's sudden bitterness. Adonai wasn't the type to handle rejection, in any form, very well. He had most of the women in their platoon under his thumb.
Kore scoffed with little humor at the thought. Of course, the male population would see less of a punishment if they were caught fraternizing with the opposite sex, but as for the female...it was a cruel and certain means to an end. Males could be reasoned with, as females should obviously know better, or at least know better than to get caught. Mother, forbid her to have a pregnancy to come to fruition. Nine months. Nine long months to plan and prepare for your death, just as soon as the newborn would be ripped from their arms. It was twisted. It was sickening.
She sat up slowly, letting her head settle from the lack of sleep. Grabbing for her brush, Kore began to rip through her curls furiously. If all she would be allowed to feel is anger, then so be it. She brushed with intent, pulling her curls so taunt that the ruby tresses straightened. She wrapped her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck; the one curl that usually fell loose stayed put.
She snarled under her breath as she stood and jerked her ceremonial dress from the back of her closet. Yanking her uniform into place, the buttons popped through the material harshly. She looked at the small badges of her accomplishments sewn into the left side of the chest. They once brought her a sense of pride, a sense of belonging. Now, just disdain. She tightened the belt that settled right above her navel, dawned on her black heels, and grabbed her service hat. The symbol of Mother shown brightly in contrast to the black that surrounded the little emblem. She placed it atop her head and turned to stare at herself in the mirror, really taking in the reflection of the woman before her.
The woman wasn't Kordelia. Where wild curls constantly would be left astray, a sleek, smooth hairline was left in it's place. Instead of half-smiling, the amaranth-tinted lips were a flat line. There was no fervor behind her azure stare. Even being dressed to this level of preciseness wouldn't have been normal. The only likeness was the familiar purr of the optical ever-moving. The woman staring back at her took a deep breath and stepped away.
They wanted a cold monster; an unfeeling, killing machine. Then that's what she would become. She would end this war on her own if she had to. Everett wouldn't be one to stand in her way any longer.
***
Kordelia quietly took her place in line at the start of the assembly. Wolfe had tried to get her attention, but she quickly dismissed it. Everyone was abuzz with murmurs, some with excitement, some with curiosity. No one knew who would stay or who would retire. It was all a part of the coming ceremony. Everyone would find out for the first time. Except Kore. She knew. She knew of at least one of them that would be on the list today. It wouldn't be hard, but it wouldn't be easy either. It was how she had always imagined it in the first place. But now, now things were different. Uncomfortably different.
Kore stiffened when she felt a presence looming behind her. With a blank face, she turned. Adonai stood tall, and alarming as per usual. Only today it wouldn't fill her with unease. It wouldn't matter at all. She couldn't read the expression on his face, not really bothering to give it a second thought.
"Can I help you?" She asked flatly.
"Can you explain to me why you were absent from morning training?" He spoke low through his teeth, obviously trying to limit being over heard.
"I was busy." She lied.
Adonai leaned in towards her, hooking her elbow. "I suggest you do not miss another in the near future."
Kore kept her calm, centering her breathing, until she exploded in front of prying eyes. "I will show up to training when I see fit, Major General Adonai. Not you, nor anyone at that, will tell me what I will or will not do. Regardless of Everett's decision, even if I fight beside you, it is because death is the only other alternative." Her voice rang a little higher, tearing her arm from his grasp. "Let me put this in a way that maybe even you will be able to understand. You have never and shall never have me as your partner. Do not take me for a silly little girl." She spat Alekai's words. "We share equal title, and yet I am still your superior. Do not think to command me as you please. You will be awfully disappointed in the outcome. And if you touch me ever again, you will lose your fingers."
Before he could muster a response, Kore turned back around, blocking out the chatter that resumed in full force when her heated speech was over. She had only allowed for her voice to raise, but kept her tone and facial expression neutral. The was no need to add more to the damage she had just caused. She would regret her outburst eventually, maybe. The sound of a bugle alerted the crowd, and they all peaked at attention.
Their unified footsteps echoed along the walls of the main area of the old castle as the first platoon marched single file into the spacious domain. One by one, each solider took their place in formation, Kordelia and the other Major Generals heading the front, their Lieutenants lined behind them, and so on until the whole hall was filled. The Great Hall contained statues of Mother's disciples along the outermost parts, with Mother herself standing rigid at the apex. This depiction of Mother was unlike the one in the chapel. Where the chapel held warmth and comfort, this Mother was cold and exigent. She commanded this room.
Everett and the Commanders entered from a side door, taking their stand just below Mother. Each found their place and stood side by side at attention. Alekai took up the middle. Kordelia kept her vision straight ahead, allowing herself to let the ceremony go out of focus.
"Welcome, everyone, welcome. This will be the five hundred and twentieth annual Signing Ceremony that has blessed these walls." Everett gestured around the hall; no one moved or broke attention. "The five soldiers that will be reenlisting today have fought with honor for the past fourteen years. They have accomplished so much in that time, and because of their accomplishments and desires, they will continue on in the fight at your side. Each party step forward as your name is called, joining one another at the front, for your brothers and sisters to bare witness to your oaths to them and to this cause."
"Darmon Gareth Rite."
"Sidon Ronald Harper."
"Brielle May Darc."
"Cyrene Isabella Carth."
Everett paused between each name, giving said person just enough time to line up to the next person and resume attention. "Alekai Vasyl Ivanov." Kordelia kept her hard stare, the wall behind Mother glazing over with the effort. "Proceed."
"I have, this day, voluntarily enlisted myself, as a soldier, in the Hominid Army. To serve the cause honestly and faithfully, against all its enemies, foreign or domestic. And I do bind myself to conform, in all instances, to such rules and regulations, as are, or shall be, established for the government of the said Army. I do, solemnly swear."
Kordelia couldn't stop the one tear that managed to secrete from her unblinking gaze. Alekai's lies hurt like hell, but this was too much. She could not show weakness, not now. Not ever again. Everett approached each man and woman. They took up the pen he offered and signed each of their corresponding lifelong contracts. If Alekai had hesitated whatsoever, Kore hadn't noticed. Once it had been completed, Everett turned to address the room.
"The dedication these men and women have declared for this, The Hominid Army, is worthy of the upmost praise. At ease, soldiers, and congratulate your brothers and sisters!"
In an instant, the whole room filled with salutes and cheers of adoration. Kordelia relaxed her stance, although she remained silent. The others had swallowed the group of five, and still she remained where she stood. She didn't bother to wipe the wayward tear away, instead she looked on and made direct eye contact with the only other person in the room who mattered in the sparing moment. Alekai's gaze was just as empty as her own. She only gave a once sharp nod.
Then this shall be the end. Maybe it is better this way.
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