Chapter 17: SAY IT 15 : I dreamed you're still here
SAY IT 15 : I dreamed you're still here
RAY
Kanina pa ako dito naghihintay sa may loby ng
airport, It was freezing cold in here. For the 11th time today, I looked at my wristwatch.
"Kanina pa ako naghihintay dito para sa wala.. kailan ba sila dadating?"
I repeatedly tapped my foot on the tilted floor, Urgh, dati naman hindi sila ganito ka-late kapag umuuwi. Kaninang 6 am pasado pa ako nandito and suot-suot ko pa ang uniform ko kaya pinagtitinginan ako ng mga tao.
My phone vibrated inside my pocket kaya madali ko iyon kinuha, it was Kuya Ryle calling. I answered it saka itinapat sa tenga ko.
"Hello? nasaan na kayo? kanina pa ako naghihintay dito sa may lobby."
"Stupid, nandito na kami sa labas."
"What?!"
"Hi! Ray-chan! We'll be waiting for you here!"
Ate Naru's beautiful voice said, she used to call me with that nickname.
"Y-yeah.. see you Ate Naru,"
I lowered my tone when it comes to her, Ate Naru is Kuya Ryle's girlfriend. She's a japanese and a super dupper kind woman and her voice is as beautiful just like her personality and face. A true beauty!
Nagmamadali akong lumabas ng airport habang dala-dala ang mga gamit ko, I can't believe na nagsalisihan kami! this is the first time that this happened. Dati-dati naman hindi 'to nangyayari sa amin.
I saw them sa paradahan ng taxi, I ran our distance saka mahigpit na sinalubong ng yakap si Ate Naru,
"Whoa! Ray-chan! hisashiburi desu ne~" malambing na bati niya, I missed her very much! yung Kuya ko pwede nang hindi bumalik heheh, joke.
(It's been a while hasn't it?)
"Sana all niyayakap," pagpaparinig ng Kuya ko, buti nga sa'yo. I let go of Ate Naru at hinimas-himas niya naman ang ulo ko.
I hugged my brother as tightly as ever, kahit na hindi ko sabihin ay na-miss ko din siya ng sobra. Kami lang kaya ang away-bati sa aming tatlo, saka.. siya lang din ang kinakausap ni Sofia noon.
"Okaeri nasai," (welcome back)
He hugged me back. "Tadaima, ore no imouto yo~" (I'm back/home, my little sister)
Tatlo kaming sumakay ng taxi pauwi, medyo matagal anv byahe pauwi dahil baka ma-traffic pa kami. There's so much time in our hands, mag-e-excuse na lang ako pagdating sa room. Speaking of school, I started attending again after Glenn woke up but Klein is still sleeping until now. We visited him yesterday, together with my friends and he's still hasn't woken up since then. I wonder kung kailan pa siya gigising..
"Ray-chan? may problema ba?" Ate Naru asked beside me, katabi ng driver si Kuya Ryle.
I shaked my head saka pilit na ngumiti,
"Nothing,"
"Really? a, you know? we saw a very cute guy kanina nang paglabas namin sa eroplano. I think he's at your age, he's very cute I can't forget his face." she squealed, ganyan siya kapag nakakakita ng mga cute na lalaki.
"What does he look like?" tanong ko, Ate Naru is surely talkative ngayong nagkita na naman kami.
"Himitsu, I'll not gonna answer that. Let's just say that he's very cute like those idols who's good at dancing and singing. Just like Hey! Say! JUMP! " She's referring to a famous Japanese boy group in her country, they're pretty famous but not her in Philippines. Mostly kasi ay K-idols ang mas sikat dito unlike those Japanese Idols. (Secret)
"O, he must be really cute then as you say that." wika ko, I saw a picture of that group she was saying. I can tell those guys are really good looking, especially that guy name Ryosuke Yamada.
"I can hear you two, don't talk behind my back."
bakas sa boses ni Kuya ang selos kaya naman parehas kaming natawa sa sinabi niya. He's really jealous! we can tell.
▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎
"Kaze-kun!" Kuya Ryle excitedly ran inside my apartment only to be greeted by my dog. Mabuti naman at kilala pa siya nito.
"O, he looks bigger than the last time!" komento ni Ate Naru saka lumapit sa dalawa.
"He growned up so much after niyo umalis. I'll be taking my leave now! may pasok pa kasi ako. Bye-bye!" after ko silang ihatid sa apartment ko ay nagmamadali naman akong tumakbo papuntang St.Celestine, I can't afford to not go today dahil ilang araw akong umabsent noong nasa ospital ang dalawa.
Nang makarating ako doon ay math class namin kaya naman hindi na ako tumuloy sa room. Blergh, ayoko nga makinig ng mga panibagong formulas na hindi naman namin magagamit sa pang-habang buhay. Dumiretso na lang ako sa library kung saan payapa at walang kahit anong bahid ng math except sa math books na nandito.
Naupo na naman ako sa may bandang likod kung saan kakaunti lang ang mga taong pumupunta. This time hindi educational book ang kinuha ko kundi isang manga. The title is:
"Wolf Girl and The Black Prince,"
The cover looks interesting and so the story, hindi ko gawaing magbasa ng mga manga but this one is different. Kaya ko lang naman 'to binabasa ay dahil nagpapatay ako ng oras, I don't want to attend that math class of ours lalo na't napakasungit ng instructor namin sa subject na 'yan. Mas mabuti pa na magbasa ako ng romance manga kaysa makinig sa lecture niyang hindi ko kakailanganin sa future.
The truth is, this manga is very good. 10 out of 10 dahil sa story line plus the characters. I read it for almost half an hour or so.
"O, so you started reading one of those flashy japanese comics." an annoying voice said. It's Lloyd with his signature grin and not to mention is lab coat.
I closed the book and looked at him. "It is called Manga you swine and don't call them flashy this is even more better than any math books you have." wika ko sa kaniya. His grin only grew wider dahil sa sinabi ko.
"I know what those things are called, Ray. I just can't help but to mock you at the moment I saw you here, I always feel like mocking you everytime we meet." aniya, I rolled my eyes at him saka ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa sa page na napag-iwanan ko.
"Whatever Lloyd, ano na naman ang ginagawa mo dito? I thought you're in the hospital, watching over Klein."
"Yeah yeah, I just take a quick break. Want to know something about that book?" he pointed a finger.
"What?"
"They will ended up marrying each other and they will be also having a cute daughter named Yuina," aniya habang nakangiti. When he said 'know something' he means 'spoiling the story'. Alam ko naman na 'yon but.. I wanted to read it myself and witness their story.
"I already know that," wika ko saka muling isinara ang libro. Nawalan na ako ng gana magbasa ngayong na-spoil na ako.
"Too bad, I could feel how disappointed you are right now. I used to read those flashy books before~"
"I don't care,"
I sat up saka ibinalik sa manga section ang libro at nilingon si Lloyd, I gave him a bitterly smile bago tuluyang umalis sa lugar na 'yon.
I'm always holding back this feelings, this feeling na gusto ko siyang sakalin dahil inis. He just spoiled everything! kahit na alam ko 'yon ay nakakainis parin. I should better read those mangas' alone, kung saan walang spoiler ang nag-aaligid. I hope na sana may dala sila Kuya Ryle gaya last year, they gave me a full volume collection of Blue Spring Ride
kaya naman wala akong ginawa buong bakasyon kundi ang tapusin 'yon.
Nag-extend pa ng oras ang math instructor namin kaya naman marami pa akong oras sa mga kamay ko.
Hmm.. ano pa bang pwedeng gawin maliban sa pagbabasa ng manga o educational books sa library?
I heard my stomach growl kaya naman dumiretso na ako sa may cafeteria. Bilang lang sa daliri ko ang mga students na present 'don nang makarating ako, I bought 3 burgers and 1 coke saka mag-isang naupo sa swaeg table naming tatlo nila Wendy at Loraine.
It somehow feels lonely ngayong mag-isa lang ako dito kumakain, sanay kasi ako na kasama sila habang nagtatalo yung dalawang magka-away palagi.
I plugged in my earphones and play some random songs in my playlist para ma-enjoy ang pagkain ko mag-isa.
I somehow managed to enjoy eating here alone pero mas gusto ko parin na kumain kami ulit ng sama-sama. Hangga't wala si Klein ay hindi kami mabubuo.
🎶Music through memories,
Losing my grip on the gray,
Numbing the senses,
I feel you slipping away,
Fighting to hold on,
Clinging for just one more day,
Love turns to ashes,
With all that I wish I could say,
I died to be where you are,
I tried to be where you are,
Every night,
I dreamed you're still here,
The ghost by my side,
So perfectly clear,
When I'm awake,
You're disappear,
Back to the shadows,
With all I hold dear,
I dreamed you're still here🎶
Matapos ko kumain ay saglit muna akong nagpahinga, that really hits the spot! this is the reason why I love burger. They will always hit the spot. Patuloy lang ako sa pakikinig ng kanta nang biglang mag-play ang theme song namin dati ni Moon which brokes my mood.
I groaned saka napasandal sa upuan. "Okay na sana e," I mumbled, mahina akong natawa dahil sa kanta. Even my laugh is very bitter.
"I don't know what to feel.. be happy or not?
My brother and his girlfriend came back. Of course I'm happy but still.. I can be really happy right now."
Nang matapos akong makapag-pahinga ay dumiretso na lang ako sa rooftop ng building naming mga 2nd years. A, so nostalgic.
Sometimes, the rooftop is one of those unforgettable places in a book,movie or whatever it is. Lagi na lang itong nagiging center ng attention, sa mga novels na nababasa ko. Maraming bagay ang nangyayari sa rooftop, wether it's the heroine confessing or the heroine ending her life. This place is very complicated for me.
As usual, naupo ako sa may likod para walang makakita sa'kin.
Maybe taking a nap right here is not a problem at all, ayoko namang pumunta sa infirmary at magsakit-sakitan. Wala si Klein na magaling um-acting kahit walang camera at magaling magbitaw ng mga linya kahit na walang script.
I'm sure the Drama Club will be happy kapag sumali siya 'don, he has a great acting skills after all.
Here I am again, thinking about him. After all this time, tahimik lang ito pero ang katahimikan niya minsan ay sadyang nakakatakot para sa'kin. Unlike Glenns' sunshine personality, if Glenn really is the sunshine then Klein is the complete oppposite of him.
He can be the Black hole or Void energy.
Pero kahit na ganoon ang lalaking 'yon, he has done many things after all. At hindi madaling kalimutan ang mga bagay na ginagawa niya, everything he does is excellent at walang kapalpakan.
Hindi nga lang talaga niya mapigilan ang pagiging mayabang,pilosopo at sarkastiko minsan kaya naman naiinis ako sa kaniya. But still, he's a caring guy. I saw how worried he is habang tinitignan ang walang malay niyang kapatid noong araw na nakita si Glenn sa may pool.
He looks like someone na pinagkaitan sa mundo, I can't get that reaction of his out of my head. Everytime na naaalala ko 'yon ay naaawa ako at nagi-guilty dahil sa nangyari.
His little reactions over little things is very adorable I can say, konting galaw lang kasi ay nagre-react na siya agad. In one point, ang akala ko ay wala na siyang ibang ginagawa sa buong araw kundi ang sumimangot but I'm completely wrong, nakakangiti din naman pala siya at nakakaya rin na maglabas ng mga matatamis na salita. I like that soft side of him.
That mayabang,pilosopo and sarkastikong side ay pwede nang umalis ngayon din.
Dati ko nang naisip na may malaking chance na siya si Aircon but I set that thought aside. Maraming pagkakapareho pero no, there's no way na siya si Aircon. After all, simula't sapul ay hindi niya ako kilala and dito lang kami unang nagkita sa St.Celestine.
Glenn has the high chance of being him after all nakita ko siya noon sa ospital, pwede naman na nagsisinungaling lang siya patungkol sa bagay na may kaibigan siya doon. He must be referring to me pero isinantabi na lang niya at isinekreto.
But still..
There's a 100% chance na wala ni-isa sa dalawang 'yon si Aircon, I'm just wasting my time finding an answer to those two. A possibility na isa sa kanilang dalawa si Aircon ay 1% lang dahil ang lahat ng nangyayaring ito ay pwedeng coincedence lang. That's why..
I'm still waiting for the day na makita siya at makausap but before that happens, I need to find true love which is very difficult. Saan ko naman hahanapin 'yon? there's someone I'm interested in pero... sa tingin ko ay magiging mahirap para sa aming dalawa ang situation kung nasaan kami. Isa pa, I don't know what he feels towards me kaya naman ayoko ma-reject ng wala sa oras. I know he's a good guy kaya baka mapilitan lang siyang tanggapin ang confession ko kapag nagkataon na ginawa ko nga ang bagay na 'yon.
🎶Tagu-taguan maliwanag ang buwan
Masarap mag-mahal 'pag hindi iniwan
Pagbilang 'kong nakatago na kayo
Ibalik ako sa nakaraan🎶
A, hearing Moira's voice is very relaxing lalo na't ang ganda ng mga kanta niya lalo na ng boses niya.
🎶Langit ang natanaw, Pangarap ay ikaw
Lupa ang nabigay, Di nakapaghintay
Sana mag-patintero at maiwasan ang impyerno,
Kaya't pipikit na lang at baka sakali lang...🎶
"Tagu-taguan maliwanag ang buwan,
Masarap mag-mahal 'pag hindi iniwan,
Pagbilang 'kong tatlo nakatago na ako,
Ibalik ako sa nakaraan.."
My phone suddenly vibrated in my hands, someone is calling me in an unknown number. Hindi ko tinanggal ang earphones ko saka sinagot 'yon.
"Hello?"
"Ray-chan? nasa school ka pa?"
Maluwag akong nakahinga nang marinig ang maamong boses ni Ate Naru sa kabilang linya, akala ko kasi isang threat na naman ito.
I cleared my throat,
"Yes Ate Naru, why?"
"Erm.. there's a guy looking for you here, he looks suspicious kaya naman hindi ko siya pinapasok."
"What does he looked like?"
"Like a bad boy I think? itanong ko ba kung anong pangalan?"
"No please, mag-stay lang kayo dyan sa loob and wag na wag niyo siyang papapasukin. Okay? nasaan ba si Kuya?"
"He left a while ago saying na may bibilhin lang daw.."
That' guy.. bakit niya nagawang iwanan ang girlfriend niya?!
"O-okay, basta Ate Naru don't let him in kahit na ano pang sabihin, okay?"
"Okay, but.. can I ask something? may mga nakakaaway ka ba kaya naman.. you know?"
"No Ate Naru! there's no way na may kaaway ako kaya naman.. wag mo lang siya papasukin dahil baka.. masamang tao talaga 'yan. If he dares do something, ipakagat mo lang siya 'kay Kaze."
"O-okay, I'll hang up now. Please take care Ray-chan."
"Yes Ate Naru, I will, you too. Bye,"
"Bye,"
She hang up matapos na magpaalam, I unplugged my earphones saka malalim na huminga. Sino naman kaya ang taong 'yon? she said na mukhang bad boy? wala naman akong ibang kilalang mukhang bad boy maliban 'kay Ashton na bad boy ng St.Celestine. At isa pa, hindi kami close kaya naman anong ginagawa niya sa tapat ng apartment ko kung siya nga 'yon?
Sana ay maging okay lang si Ate Naru, at this time sigurado akong nakasarado na ang gate at hindi na ako papayagan na lumabas kahit na ano pa ang idahilan ko.
I sat up saka pinagpagan ang sarili, hindi ko kayang maupo na lang dito habang inaalala ang kalagayan ni Ate Naru, I need to do something.
"Where are you going?"
That voice...
It came from my back. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon para makita kung totoo ba ang boses na narinig ko o isa na naman 'yong imagination.
But no.
As I looked behind me, there he was standing no- leaning on the wall behind him habang nakatingin sa magandang tanawin na kitang-kita mula dito.
Ni hindi man lang ito tumingin sa'kin, he was completely focused to the beautiful scenery infront of him. I know him already, just what I expected. He's always wearing dark colored clothes matched with his personality.
I walked up to him and pinch his cheeks, it's soft as a cotton. Hindi naman ito kumibo but he finally looked in my way.
"Long time no see," he said as he looked over to me. I let go of his cheeks, lightly smiling.
I'm glad he finally waked up.
"Yeah, long time no see."
Nag-ipon ang mga luha sa mata ko at nang umapaw 'yon ay nakangiti lang ako habang unti-unti ko nararamdaman ang pagtulo nila.
"Tch, stupid Ray. Don't cry, alam mo naman na ayaw kong nakikita ka umiiyak." aniya saka pinunasan ang mga luha ko.
"I can't believe.." pagpuputol ko. Hindi ko magawang magsalita ng maayos dulot ng pag-iyak ko, lagi nalang ako naiyak. I'm such a crybaby.
"You can't believe what?"
"Na nandito ka na, I'm worried you know? paano na lang kung may nangyaring masama sa'yo? Glenn waked up earlier than you kaya naman nag-alala talaga ako, I even donated 2 bags of blood para lang masiguradong ligtas ka at gigising." I confessed, uhh this is not so me.
"I know, that's why I'm here. I want to say Thank you dahil sa ginawa mo na pagdo-donate ng dugo." nakangiting wika niya, just like Glenn I really missed his smile.
"Kailan ka pa nagising?"
"Kaninang madaling araw lang,"
"Magaling ka na ba?" tanong ko, he shook his head.
"Not yet, kailangan ko pa daw ng maraming-maraming pahinga sabi ng doctor that's why uuwi din ako mamaya. A, inutusan ko pala si Ashton na ihatid sa apartment mo ang mga 'thank you gifts' ko, sana magustuhan mo." aniya saka ipinatong ang kamay sa ulo ko, giving me headpats. So tama nga ako na si Ashton ang bad boy na nasa tapat ng apartment ko.
What a relief.
"I also came here to see you, I missed my girlfriend you know?" dagdag niya, as he said that. Hindi na napigilan ng mga pisngi ko na mamula.
"W-what are you saying? it's just an fake relationship between us at isa pa. Binabalak ko na rin sabihin 'kay Moon ang tungkol dyan, he apologized and want to cleared things up kaya naman pinatawad ko na siya. As of now, we're back to zero; I mean we're now friends." wika ko, natigilan siya nang marinig ang mga sinabi ko.
"Okay, but may iba pa bang nangyari habang wala ako? may ginawa na naman ba sila?" seryosong tanong niya, it's my turn to shook my head.
"As of now, wala pa pero hindi ko alam. Simula noong naospital kayo ni Glenn, wala pang nangyayari." naging seryoso din ang tono ko habang sumasagot.
Ngayong gising na ang dalawa, they might attack us again any time from now.
"That's good, I don't know what to do kapag may ginawa silang masana habang wala ako."
"Let's set that aside from now, ang gusto ko lang gawin ngayon ay makita ka at magpahinga after this." dagdag niya, he made me stand infront of him habang nakatalikod. He made me jump nang bigla niya akong yakapin patalikod,
He let out a deep sigh, "I knew it. Wala ng mas sasarap pa sa feeling ng niyayakap si Ray, parang nawawala ang lahat ng sakit ko sa katawan." bulong niya, I can hear it dahil malapit lang ang bibig niya sa kaliwang tenga ko.
"You're so warm and soft, just like my body pillow. All I want is to hug you every single time." Mabuti na lang ay hindi niya nakikita ang namumula kong mukha, nakakahiyang marinig ang mga pinagsasasabi niya.
Just what does he think he is para sabihin ang mga nakakahiyang salita na 'yan?
"I bet Nile also hugged you when he saw you. How nice, did you hug him back?"
As I remembered what happened nang magkita kami ni Glenn ay mas lalo pang namula ang mukha ko. I was the one who hugged him first.
"A, so you really hugged him back. He's one lucky guy para mayakap mo, urayamashi." did he just.. use japanese language? hindi pa ako medyo marunong kaya naman hindi ko naintindihan ang sinabi niya. I only know the basics.
(I'm jealous)
"What does it mean?"
"Secret, ayaw ko sabihin."
"Please?"
"No, ayaw."
"Pretty please?"
"Still no, kung gusto mo malaman mag-aral ka muna ng japanese." I pouted, nag-aaral naman ako minsan kapag wala akong ginagawa... noon hindi ngayon.
"Sabihin mo na kasi," pagpupumilit ko."
"No and wag mo 'ko pilitin pa. You can google it later kapag umalis na ako." nawala na ang pasensya ko kaya naman inikot ko na lang ang mga mata.
Nanaig ang katahimikan sa aming dalawa but I don't mind. Sometimes, silence is better than anything. We stayed that way for so long at hindi ko na namalayan ang oras, well I don't mind. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na ang sarap pala sa pakiramdam ng mayakap ng ganito katagal, parang matagal ko na itong hinahanap.
"Someday, I may not be able to hold myself back because of you. I maybe loose myself kaya naman simula ngayon ay magiging aware na ako sa'yo, I just leave everything to Nile para naman maging masaya ang kapatid ko. I'm also sure that he will be happy if that really happens." he started, wala naman akong naintindihan sa sinabi niya but..
"He? sinong tinutukoy mo?" I curiously asked,
"O, I'm referring to your old friend back then noong naospital ka dahil sa katangahan mo." okay na sana e, welp, this is a sign na siya nga talaga si Klein.
"You mean Aircon? ano naman ang meron sa kaniya?"
"Tch, hindi kasi nakikinig bahala ka nga diyan mag-isip. Kahit kailan hindi ko alam na sobrang oblivious mo pagdating sa mga simpleng bagay pero napaka-green minded pagdating sa mga maliit na bagay. Typical Ray," panenermon niya, bumitaw ito sa pagkakayakap sa'kin saka ako hinarap.
He pinched my cheeks dahilan para mapadaing ako sa sakit.
"No matter what happpens, I'll never get tired of teasing you because of your stupidity sometimes. Itatak mo 'yan sa utak mo babae ka.. and one more thing bago ako umalis." he paused, my brows furrowed habang nakatingin sa kaniya.
Iginala nito ang paningin na para bang nagdadalawang isip pa, napakamot pa 'to sa batok.
"C-can I.." panimula niya.
"Can you what?"
"Can I.. uhh.."
"What?"
"Can I uhh.. ki.."
"Ki? what does it mean? sabihin mo na kasi!"
Silence..
He motioned me to scoot closer dahil may ibubulong yata so ginawa ko naman.
"Can I kiss you?"
Tumayo lahat ng balahibo ko sa katawan nang marinig ang tanong niya, muli namang namula ang mukha ko dahil sa narinig. Rinig na rinig ko ang malakas at mabilis na pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa kaba.
I looked away, "J-just this once—"
Hindi na natuloy ang balak kong sabihin nang biglaan niya na lang akong hinila papalapit sa kaniya, he snaked his arms behind me. One in my back and one in the back of my head. Our lips touched, and as usual his lips are soft as ever.
♡
A/n: And so the void energy is also back! sinong boto niyo para 'kay Ray?
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