Chapter 7: SAY IT 06 : Goodbye for the Yesterday
SAY IT 06 : "Goodbye for the yesterday"
RAY
"Didn't I tell you to put me down?"
"And didn't I tell you to shut your mouth and stay like that? wala kang talent pagdating sa acting. Masakit ulo mo diba? so dapat hindi mo ako inuutusang ibaba ka."
"Ano naman ang koneksyon?"
"I'm telling you to.. argh! wag ka na nga lang kasing makulit at sumunod na lang sa akin." Klein said completely pissed because of my behavior, well kasalanan naman niya kung bakit ito lahat nangyayari.
Kaya ko lang naman gustong ibaba niya ako ay dahil nakakahiya ang paraan ng pagbuhat niya, mas gusto ko pa kayang pumasan kaysa mabuhat ng pa-bridal style. Nanahimik na lang ako at gaya ng sabi niya ay nanatili na lang na ganoon.
"Isandal mo ang ulo mo sa dibdib ko.." he said dahilan para panlakihan ko siya ng mata ko. What did he just said? gusto niya bang madagdagan pa ang hiyang nararamdaman ko?
"No, ayaw ko."
"Ayan na naman--"
"Gusto mo ba talagang ipahiya ako ng sobra-sobra? ano ako baby? para isandal ang ulo sa dibdib mo? mama ba kita hah?" wika ko sa kaniya saka pinangikot ang mga mata.
"Bakit ba ayaw mo na lang sumunod sa sinasabi sa iyo?" he said, mabuti na lang ay may natitira pang kabaitan kay Klein kahit na bakas na sa boses nito ang inis.
Please, wag mo ako ihulog.
"Hala si Sir." wika niya, agad ko naman ipinikit ang mata saka isinandal ang ulo sa dibdib niya and guess what? rinig ko ang mabilis na pagtibok ng puso nito.
Why?
Iniupo niya ako sa isa sa mga oh-so-white na kama na nandito sa infirmary, mayroon ditong higit nine na kama sumatotal.
"Wala ang nagbabantay, siguro ay umalis lang ito saglit at babalik din agad. Mahiga ka muna diyan." wika nito habang chine-check ang buong kwarto, talaga ngang seryoso siya sa ginagawa naming ito.
Kumuha siya ng upuan at naupo sa may paanan ng kama, may hawak-hawak itong notebook at ballpen.
"What?" he said at tumingin sa akin, uhh did I stare that long?
"What are you doing?" I asked saka umupo sa may dulo ng kama para makita ang kung anong binabalak niyang gawin.
"Making our poem, any ideas kung saan mo gusto tungkol?"
Napaisip ako bigla, ano ba ang gusto kong maging main idea ng poem namin?
"Ah! do you know Romeo & Juliet?" I asked excitedly, looking at him.
He rested his chin to his palm at bored na tumingin sa akin pabalik, why? maganda kaya ang Romeo & Juliet. Isa iyon sa mga favorite ko na story.
"Of course I know that one Ray, bata pa lang kami ni Nile ay kinukwento na 'yan ng mom namin." he then sighed, ganoon ba ka-boring pag-usapan ang love story ni Romeo tsaka Juliet para sa kaniya?
"How about Hikoboshi and Orihime?"
"Dunno, what's that?"
"It's about Orihime na---"
"Okay stop, another idea?"
"I'm not done!"
"So? another idea except sa romance?"
"Tch, bahala ka na nga diyan, matutulog na lang ako." wika ko saka humiga sa malambot na kama, yeah wala akong kahit anong sakit pero narito ako ngayon sa infirmary kasama ang Klein na ito na ayaw akong pakinggan.
I covered my whole body using the oh-so white nilang kumot and it feels so heavenly! same feeling when I slept at Kleins' bed. Parehas iyong malambot at mabago.
I heard the sound of a door being open kaya nanatili lang akong ganoon sa puwesto ko, may naramdaman naman akong bagay na inilagay sa paanan ko sa loob ng kumot. When I looked at it ay ito ang notebook na hawak ni Klein. I swiftly grabbed it using my foot at konting unat pa ay nasa kamay ko na iyon. Nice.
I opened it without a second thought saka hinanap ang page kung saan siya magsusulat sana at tagumpay ko naman iyon nakita.
Ang akala ko naman ay wala pa siyang nasusulat but I'm wrong, he already wrote something on it at may title na ito agad. He's that great?
'Goodbye to the yesterday'
Why I am still longing for your touch?
Your kiss? your hugs? your warmth?
I remember, cuddling you one day,
It was only the two of us that day,
My head on your lap,
And your hands patting my head,
You were about to sleep but,
Something was making you not so,
I asked if you were okay,
And you said 'yes'
I smiled warmly and peck your forehead lightly,
But what I didn't know,
Later that day,
You walked away,
Not letting me see your face,
Not letting me hear what you wanted to say,
I was sad and close to despair,
Just by losing you is unfair,
We promised that day,
That both of us will stay,
One day,
After walking in a alleyway,
I saw something not so far away,
I walked the small distance between,
And there you are,
Lying there like you were just sleeping,
Eyes are shut and body are cold,
You are no longer a living human,
Who knows that it will happen?
You vanished,
Together with your life,
And I hope someday,
That I will see you once again,
If that time were to come,
I'll not letting you go again,
But now I'll just say,
Goodbye for the yesterday.
I almost teared up- no I actually teared up after reading the poem he made. Nakakalungkot ito sa puntong mararamdaman mo ang hinanakit ng kung sino man ang taong iyon.
But wait.
Akala ko ba ayaw niyang gumawa ng romance?
That handsome liar.
I once again hear the door being opened kaya nagmamadali akong bumalik sa dating puwesto at inlagay sa ilalim ng unan ang notebook.
"Ray, inumin mo itong pain killer na ini-recommend ni Nurse Anne, kaya daw nitong tanggalin ang sakit ng ulo mo." rinig kong sabi niya, he then pulled the blanket over kaya masama ko siyang tinignan.
"I'm not taking that, hindi naman masakit ang ulo ko eh." angal ko saka muling tinaklob ang kumot sa sarili, he pulled it again.
Pinasadahan ko siya muli ng masamang tingin pero halos manghina ako nang siya naman ang makita kong masama ang tingin sa akin, he's face is scary!
"Can you just act normally? or gusto mong turuan pa kita?" he said, nanliiit ako sa tingin niya sa akin that's why I obeyed him.
Ibinulsa niya ang gamot na ibinigay at binigyan ako ng tubig, sakto naman na binuksan ni Nurse Anne ang telang nagsisilbing pinto sa puwesto kong ito. She smiled at naglakad papalapit sa akin to check me, I look at Klein at binigyan lang niya ako ng 'Just-follow-the-plan-or-else-you're-done" look niya.
Nurse Anne discharge me dahil wala naman daw siyang nakikitang problema, baka lang daw nahilo ako or something. Pero sa totoo lang ay wala naman talaga akong kahit anong masamang nararamdaman ay gusto ko iyon sahihin sa kaniya, Nurse Anne is a very nice person, kapag nagsasalita ito ay parang anghel na ang kausap mo kaya naman maraming rume-respeto sa kaniya dito sa St.Celestine.
Me and Klien are making our way pabalik sa aming room, tapos na ang time ng aming english advisor at history class na namin, pagkatapos naman 'non ay lunch break na.
"You saw.." wika ni Klein sa tabi ko habang naglalakad kami pabalik, I curiously looked at him dahil pinutol niya ang balak na sabihin.
"What?"
"Uhh.. nothing." pag-ilag niya, hinayaan ko na lang ito at di na muling nagtanong pa. Baka kasi awayin na naman niya ako pag-nagkataon.
I sat at our usual seat dito sa cafeteria ng St.Celestine, at as usual ay kasama ko sina Wendy at Loraine.
"How's your poem Lori?" Wendy asked Loraine na tila ba ay may binabasa sa cellphone niya, maybe she's reading some of those yaoi manga's.
"Not good." maikling sagot nito kay Wendy at hindi man lang tinignan.
"How about you Ray?" aniya habang sa akin naman ngayon nakatingin, I sip at my coke at mahinang dumighay bago siya sagutin.
"Dunno, late kami nagpasa ni Klein." sagot ko, nag-pout naman ito saka maayos na umupo sa upuan niya.
"Bakit ang panget niyo kausap ngayong araw? period niya mga teh?" Me and Loraine ignored her after saying that.
"Ray!"
A jolly voice called out my name at kahit na nasa malayo pa lang ito ay alam ko na kung kanino galing ang boses na iyon.
No other than Glenn himself.
"Pwede ba makiupo sa table niyo?" he asked, I can see the sunshine energy coming out from him kaya gusto ko biglang magsuot ng shades at magpayong. I just can't.
"Sa upuan ka umupo wag sa table." pambabara ni Wendy sa kaniya with matching irap pa dito. Oh poor Glenn, mukhang hindi na talaga sila magkakasundong dalawa.
Glenn chuckled, "Nice one Lili but I don't like philosopy." aniya saka kumuha ng isang upuan at naupo sa tabi ko, inilapag din nito ang tray ng pagkain niya which contains spaghetti and coke.
"I don't care kung ayaw mo, at isa pa don't call by my last name and It's 'Liliya' not 'Lili' " pagtataray pa nito.
"Whatever you say, Lili." he said at bigla naman namula ang mukha ni Wendy sa sinabi niya, naku, galit na ang kpoper.
"How's your poem Nile?" someone asked beside me, halos mapatalon ako sa upuan nang bigla itong magsalita. Kanina pa ba siya diyan?
"It's okay Kuya Nash, kami ng partner ko ang may pinakamataas na score." he answered followed by a childish giggle. Cute.
"Great."
"How about you Kuya? how's your and Rays' poem?" muntikan na akong mabilaukan dahil sa biglaang tanong ni Glenn at inabutan niya ako ng tubig, tubig ni Loraine specifically.
"It's good, second highest."
I almost choke on my food for the second time nang sabihin niya iyon, our poem has the second highest score?! god! gusto ko siya yakapin para don'!
"Wow! I already expected it from you Kuya." he said smiling at his older brother.
Kitang-kita kung paano silang dalawa tignan ni Loraine, don't tell me she already-- Oh my god, I don't want to say it.
"So.. papanoorin na lang ba namin kayong mag-bromance diyan?" Wendy boredly asked the two who glared at her at the same time, mabuti na lang at sinabi niya iyon kung hindi ay.. ay.. si Loraine kasi! hindi ko tuloy masabi!
"Ah yeah! out na pala yung most awaited movie ni kuya Nash and we'll watch it tomorrow dahil wala namang pasok. Ray, gusto mo sumama?" Glenn said after finishing his spaghetti, he looked at me with his puppy eyes at oh my lord.. paano ko na lang pipigilan ang sarili ko na tanggihan siya?
"Ah.. eh.. erm.. may plano na kasi ako para bukas, siguro next time na lang."
I'm nervous, why? because I'm a bad liar. At alam ko na may tatlong specific na taong makakahalatang nagsisinungaling ako ngayon.
"Aww ganun ba? ang sad naman.. ang ganda pa naman ng movie na iyon." malungkot na tonong aniya, I can already felt the guilt building inside me. Gusto ko naman siyang hindi tanggihan pero.. wala akong ibang gustong gawin bukas kundi mahiga at matulog buong araw.
"Anong movie ba ang papanuorin niyo?" I know it's unexpectable to say but Loraine is the one who asked that question for the twins.
"Well we both enjoyed watching anime since we were kids up until now, and one of our favorite anime is Code Geass:Lelouch of Rebellion, it aired on the year 2006 at naghari hanggang 2008. And now! a new movie is released! at isa pa ay continuation iyon ng season 2!" He said excitedly na tila ba ay sobrang saya nito.
I feel bad for ruining his happiness right now but I have no choice.
But I'm not a fan of anime, yeah I watch pokémon, fairy tail, one piece, hunter x hunter, ghost fighter, slam dunk, yu-gi-oh, detective conan and dragon ball Z noon. I repeat, noon at hindi ko na nga halos maalala kung anong main problem to be solved ng mga anime na iyon. Not to mention na on-going parin hanggang ngayon ang iba sa kanila.
"If I am right, yan yung may bird thingy sila sa mga mata nila right?" said Wendy.
Yeah, I also knew that anime back then at favorite ko pa nga si Lloyd Asplund the 'Earl of Pudding' because he's hella cute and hella hot at the same time at gustong-gusto ko ang boses niya sobra. One of my anime crushes noon.
"Yeah and it's not 'bird thingy' Lili, Geass ang tawag 'don." Glenn said at ginaya pa ang way ng pananalita ni Wendy followed by me, Klein and Loraines' giggles at the two. Para silang aso't pusa.
"Yuck."
We finished our food saka bumalik sa mga kanya-kanyang room, in a long period of time ay parang saglit lang ang tatlong subjects na lumipas dahil na-space out ako the whole time, thinking about Glenn's invitation.
Napatungo na lang ako sa desk at habang iniisip iyon.
"Hey.."
"Ray.."
"Are you sleeping?"
I heard someone's voice just beside me and guess what? I can hear Aircon's voice, I could feel this someone's presence just beside me, I was about to lift my head pero due to my fast reflexes mabuti na lang at napigilan ko iyon, why? because what I first saw was Klein's handsome face at sobrang lapit ng mukha niya sa mukha ko more like 2 inches away. He has a good shocked expression while me ay na-maintain ko ang straight face ko kahit na sa kaloob-looban ay sumisigaw na ako.
"Hey, what are you doing?" panimula ko para mabasag ang awkwardness sa pagitan naming dalawa.
He sighed, at oh my lord! kahit walang toothbrush ay ang bango ng hininga niya! sa harap ba naman ng mukha ko? syempre solo ko 'yun lahat!
Tumayo ito habang nakapamulsa, he looks so cool kung titignan parang yung mga bad boys lang na nababasa ko online.
"I was just gonna check if you were sleeping at gigisingin sana kita dahil kanina pa nag-uwian, but you're already awake kaya naman tumayo ka na dyan." he said looking away, I saw a glimpse of pink on his cheeks, don't tell me na nag-blush siya?
I make an 'oh' sound at inayos ang buhok ko sabay kuha sa bag saka lagay sa balikat, I looked around the room at kaming dalawa na lang ang present doon, even Loraine is nowhere to be seen.
"Halika na." Klein said at nasa labas na siya agad ng room ng hindi ko man lang namamalayan, I ran out of the door at siya naman ang nag-lock 'non.
"Where's Glenn? hindi kayo sabay?" I asked him, we're currently walking in a hallway.
"He texted me na mauuna na daw siya."
Okay.
"Uhh.. about tomorrow--"
"Don't mind it."
"Galit ka?"
"Why should I?"
"Wala lang.."
He made a 'tsk' sound saka huminto sa paglalakad dahilan para mapahinto rin ako.
I can clearly saw his face fahil natatakpan ito ng bangs niya, I was about to look at it nang magtapat ang mata naming dalawa. He was smiling at me, I don't know what kind of smile but guilt rushes through me nang makita ko iyon.
"I can't be angry." wika niya,
"Eh?"
"I just can't be angry, specially to you."
"What do you mean?"
He chuckled at ang cute niya tignan habang ginagawa iyon because the serious Klein is nowhere to be seen at tanging ang cute Klein lang ang nakikita ko. He patted my head habang patuloy parin na nakangiti sa akin,
"I don't know Ray, I don't know." we stayed like that for almost a minute, him smiling and me with full of questions inside my head.
He ended up walking me home and asked for my number kaya ibinigay ko iyon sa kaniya, I bid him farewell at agad naman itong umalis agad.
I lay in my bed, facing my soft pillow with a sleeping Kaze beside me. Hindi mawala-wala sa isip ko ang itsura ni Klein, I can't forget his face dahil paulit-ulit itong nagpa-pop up sa isip ko. And with that, I fell asleep.
I wake up at the sound of my phone ringing, kinuha ko iyon at sinagot kahit na hindi ko alam kung kaninong number ang tumatawag.
"Hello?"
"Ray! glad you finally picked up!" Glenns' loud voice echoed in my room, I mentally rolled my eyes.
"I was asleep and just waked up, anong kailangan mo?"
"Me and Kuya Nash are at the park." he glimmed, I can imagine his bubbly face and feel the sunshine energy coming out from him.
"So?"
"You're not coming?" biglang naging malungkot ang tono ng boses nito.
"Kakagising ko lang."
"Mag-ready ka na and bring also your dog, sagot ko na breakfast mo."
"I can afford a breakfast Glenn."
"I know, pero once in a blue moon lang ako manglibre kaya tara na."
"Tinatamad pa ako.."
"Rejecting my offer for the second time huh?" I heard him say kaya dali akong napatayo sa kama, bigla kasing naging seryoso ang boses nito.
"I'm on my way."
"Yeay! we'll be waiting for you! saan mo pala gusto kumain?"
"Kahit saan basta may masarap na burger."
"Burger center or Kuya Nashs' cooking?
"Dunno, I prefer both."
"Burger Center then?"
"Whatever."
I take a quick bath and wear my jogging clothes, also brings my phone and some money saka dumiretso sa park kasama si Kaze kung saan naghihintay ang dalawa. I saw the two na naglalaro sa may sandbox na parang mga bata, malakas na tumatawa si Glenn habang tahimik lang si Klein sa tabi nito.
I heard some of their conversation dahil nagtatago lang ako di ganoon kalayo sa kanila.
"Do you think she'll remember?" Glenn asked Klein,
"Dunno, mga bata pa tayo noon kaya impossible na maalala niya pa iyon."
"But what if she suddenly remember?"
"Edi mangyari na ang mangyari.."
"She promised to marry---"
Gusto ko pa sana marinig ang pinaguusapan ng dalawa pero biglang tumakbo si Kaze sa direksyon nila at paulit-ulit na tumahol dahilan para mabilis akong mapalabas sa pinagtataguan ko. Kaze immediately tackled Glenn habang si Klein naman ay mabilis na umalis doon.
"Didn't know that you'll brought your dog with you." wika ni Klein na tumakbo sa tabi ko para malayo doon, he's wearing the same outfit the last time I saw them here.
"Sabi ni Glenn na dalhin ko daw si Kaze."
"Wala siyang sinabi sa akin."
"By the way, I have a question." I raised my hand na para bang magre-recite, he glanced at me bago sumagot.
"Shoot,"
"Are you afraid of dogs or you just don't like them? Why?"
Niyaya niya akong maupo sa swing bago niya sagutin ang tanong ko kaya naman sumunod ako, we both sat on the swing habang pinapanood si Glenn at ang aso ko na naglalaro. They became really close.
He sighed, "I have mixed feelings towards any kind of dog, hindi naman sa hindi ko sila gusto o ayaw ko sa kanila. Let's just say that I have trust issues, when me and Nile were kids my dad gave us a husky at nakasama namin ito for almost two years, I named our dog Pudding; me and Niles' favorite dessert made by mom.
Me and Pudding got closer just like Glenn and Kaze, mom will always warn me na wag ito kulitin dahil baka daw ay kagatin ako nito pero hindi ko siya pinapakinggan. One day, after coming home from school, pudding will always tackled me pero hindi iyon nangyari. The maids then said na tumakas daw ito, I then tried to search for the dog but dad stopped me only to find out na kinagat pala nito si Glenn at si dad pala ang nagpalayas dito."
He paused, smiling bitterly at Glenn who's still playing with my dog.
"I was there everytime na tuturukan si Glenn ng doctor sa braso nito, he'll always cry dahil takot ito sa injection. Mom and Dad never scolded me but after the incident, parehas pa nila ako sinisi,pinagalitan at ipinamukha sa akin na kasalanan ko ang lahat ng iyon. Glenn will then always carressed my back and wipe off my tears kapag kaming dalawa lang sa kwarto, I said sorry for a hundred times at kada sorry ko ay nakangiti niyang itinatanggap iyon at sinasabing hindi ko naman iyon kasalanan.
Since then, I grew up being aware of dogs. Kapag nakikita ko ang aso mo ay bumabalik sa akin ang nangyari noon."
He finally finished, ayoko munang magsalita dahil bakas sa boses ni Klein ang lungkot kahit hindi man siya umiyak o ano. What I can do now is..
I slowly reached for his back using my dominant hand and just like what Glenn did before when they were kids, I gently carressed it, with widened eyes, Klein looked at me.
I gently gave him a smile. And say:
"It's alright, it's not yours or Glenns' fault."
♡
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