Chapter 31: Failed
"Miss Sarah? Miss Sarah??" I heard nanny June call me as I stomped into the house and banged the door shut on her face.
"What is it, Miss Sarah? Are you not feeling well? Should I get you some refreshments?" she asked me in a worried tone from outside my door.
"Just leave me alone!" I yelled.
There was a sudden silence before I heard her small strained voice, "Okay."
I heard her footsteps as she walked away from the door. I felt guilty for shouting at her when my bad mood was not even her fault. She took care of me after mum's death. She was like my older sister, and I did not want to shout at her or hurt her but….
I felt extremely angry and frustrated. I walked straight to my bed, fully clothed with my shoes on, and I fell on it.
Uncle just blatantly threatened me when he was the one who deceived me. He did not tell me about Robbie's true sexual orientation and asked me to seduce him, but now he is acting like some saint! Would I have ever resorted to that cheap trick of spiking Robbie's drink to get him to marry me? He loved a MAN??!! How? When? And why? Before I left for the UK, he was as straight as a lamp pole. How did he suddenly bend?
I have loved Robbie since the second grade, he was my closest friend, and we grew up together. I thought I knew him the best. I had thought about confessing my feelings once we graduated middle school. But during the last year of my junior high, mom suddenly decided that I should receive my education out of the country, and without any prior warning, she suddenly told me that I would be going out of the country to study. I didn't want to. I wanted to see Robbie and spend more time with him, but Mom's mind was made, and Dad didn't object. No amount of crying, cursing, or begging helped. In the end, I was forced to accept it.
I decided to confess my feeling before leaving and ask him to wait for me. As fate would have it, Robbie's family was going through a very difficult time. Hence, Robbie would always be in a bad mood, so I never got the opportunity to tell him my feelings or that I was leaving.
When I returned home after completing my studies, I was shocked to learn that mum was no more, and dad did not even inform me. He simply introduced me to nanny June and told me that she would take care of me from then on. And on top of that, he suddenly handed me a part of his business to oversee. I barely got time to mourn mum's death. I was reluctant to take over the business as I had plans of opening my own brand of cosmetics. I decided to not let down dad's trust and also opened my business at the same time. I successfully did both of them. One day, dad had suddenly proposed to meet his old friend and took me along. I was astonished to find out that my dad's school friend's son turned out to be none other than Robbie. I was so happy to meet Robbie. I didn't think that I would meet him again. He greeted me with familiarity too, but at the same time quite distantly. I assumed it was because of meeting me after so long. To my utmost happiness dad and Robbie's dad, uncle Ricardo, wanted me to marry Robbie. I happily agreed but to my utter shock, Robbie refused. I was stumped. I thought that it might be because he didn't find me good enough. So, I tried to be prettier and excelled in both of my businesses, hoping he would notice me. But nothing whatsoever got him interested in me.
I started doubting that maybe he had someone in his life and would surprise visit him, often compromising my own business affairs. I even asked his PA, Jane, uncle, and aunty Walker about his whereabouts, but all of them said that he has not shown interest in anyone. So, I couldn't fathom the reason as to why he would reject me. I even imagined to the extent of him having some embarrassing male problem, due to which he avoided being in relation with anyone. That wasn't the case either. I heard from uncle Ricardo that he had some raging periods of one-night stands his entire college life before he stopped everything abruptly. So, I was left with no other choice but to make him fall for me. I visited him more and more often, but he seemed to grow sourer with every visit. I had no idea what to do. Finally, the reason for his complete aversion to me and my advances came to the fore. It turned out that he actually did have someone he loved, and it was a MAN!!
Several things were going through my mind. The more I thought about it, the angrier I got. What about my love for Robbie? Just because he loved someone for eight years, he wants that guy to be his partner. But I, who loved him for almost all my life, has no value? Is he readily going to turn a blind eye to my feelings for him? He couldn't give up on that guy, then what about me? Are my feelings worth nothing?
I did everything that I did so that I can be with him, but he chose to be with some random guy. I clutched the bedsheet tightly and felt warm tears soaking my cheeks and the sheets. I saw my make-up rolling down along with it. It felt like someone was squeezing my heart. My stomach felt painful. My mind and body were both in pain. It was hard to accept. It hurts so bad. I got up, pulled the bed sheet out, almost tearing it. I threw everything on my dressing table, shelf, my shoes, the books on the table; smashed the vase, the showpieces, and the mirror; ripped photo frames, portraits, and the wall hangings, and everything I could reach, making a huge mess of my bedroom.
I heard frantic knocking on my door and the panicked voices of my servants and maids calling,
"Miss! Miss! please open the door!"
"Miss Sarah, I heard a glass break, did you get hurt?"
"Miss!" I heard almost a choked voice which was of nanny June, "Please tell me if you're hurt! Are you okay? Please open the door..."
No nanny June!
I am not okay!
It hurts!
Damn it hurts so much!
Unable to hold it in anymore, I screamed in fury and the pain of my heart-breaking. I crashed on the floor, which was covered in glass shards. Several of them pierced my feet, legs, and palm. Blood oozed out of the pierced parts, staining the carpet, glass, and the accessories I was wearing. I couldn't feel the pain, neither the tears which rolled down, dropping on the back of my hand.
My scream scared my servants even more. I heard a male servant say in a panicked voice,
"Miss, I am very sorry to do this, but I have to. I am breaking open the door."
I heard the thud of a human hitting the door. I remained sitting there, staring at the carpeted floor with my tear-filled eyes. I heard as the door crashed open with all my servants, maids, and nanny June filing in and then take in a terrified breath.
"Oh my God! Miss...," a female servant shouted
"Am calling doctor Troupe..." another screamed.
Most of them came and surrounded me, trying to get me up. I didn't want to. I remained sitting there like a lifeless doll, feeling them lift me up, carry me to the couch outside. Everyone was speaking something gibberish around me and someone was tending to my wounds, but I couldn't hear anymore.
My mind was instead far from the situation I was in now. It was slowly getting covered in dark and sinister thoughts. The resentment in my heart began to build up. I smiled, which surprised my nanny, who was tending to me. She asked me hesitatingly,
"Miss, does it hurt?"
"Yes," I said, drying my tears with the back of my hand. "It hurts. It hurts like hell, and he too shall know this pain!"
Chapter 32: Sports day
Following the previous night's drama, I did not expect another drama to unfold the next morning during Twen's Sports Day. I had to wake up a little early to prepare for Twen's breakfast. He looked extremely excited as he dressed in his school jersey and kept rambling about his participation in the race. I prepared a simple sandwich for his breakfast as he kept saying that he can't eat anything heavy as it would affect his performance. His enthusiasm got me excited as well. I very much want to watch my little boy participating and winning the race. However, my morning excitement got washed away when the doorbell rang. I opened it to see a sandy-haired, blue eyes woman with Chef Samuel standing outside.
"Jenny?!" I exclaimed in surprise
Jenny was Sam's wife. When I first met Jenny, she was a member of the popular rock band "Futuristic". I and Sam attended her concert and, through several uneventful incidents, got acquainted with her. She was the lead guitarist of her band, but soon after we met, their band disbanded. She then opened her own guitar class. Sam would often visit her on the pretext of learning guitar but was actually attracted to her. Soon both of them got into a relationship. It has been a year and a half since they married. I used to stay with Sam till Jenny moved in. I moved out but would visit frequently since Sam used to pick Twen up from school. Jenny got very attached to Twen. The two of them would often play together, and she kept bugging me to move in with them again because she wanted to spend more time with Twen. I refused. I had no intention of intruding in Sam's private space. Now, Jenny is 6 months pregnant and very hormonal. I gave her an awkward smile before inviting her in. She barged in with a very sour look before raging,
"3 months….3 whole damn months and you cannot visit me? You dare call me your friend?"
I looked down apologetically. Truly speaking, I wanted to visit her, but I kept getting caught up in work and could never make time. Even if I did visit, she would generally be in her guitar class, and we would miss each other.
"I did try but both of us got busy."
"Excuses!! You do not want Twen and me to meet, isn't it?" She questioned me in an accusatory tone.
Shocked by her allegations, I immediately shook my head, "What are you saying? Do you really think I am so narrow-minded?"
"Prove me otherwise!" she grumbled.
"Honey, calm down. Stress isn't good for you. It will affect our baby." Sam soothed her with a calming voice and put his arm around her.
Instead of being soothed she suddenly broke into tears and said in a heavy voice, "How could you do this to me? Do you know how much I missed you both?"
I knew that generally pregnancy makes one very moody, but her mood swings were kind of freaking me out. Not wanting to stress her any further I quickly apologized, "I am so sorry Jenny. My work has been keeping me too-"
"AUNTY JENNY!" Twen yelled, coming out of his room dressed in his sports outfit.
Jenny's sorrow vanished in a flash as soon as she saw Twen. She immediately hugged him saying in a happy tone, "OMG Twen!! You look so dashing. Are you participating in any sport?"
"Yes," he nodded with a broad smile, "I am going for the race. Today mommy would come too." he mused in a happy tone.
Seeing Twen and Jenny so happily conversing, I and Sam quietly slipped out. We went to my bedroom where I looked through my things for my camera. I wanted to make sure it was in the best condition. How can I miss a single moment of Twen's precious day!
"I am glad that you decided not to resign," Sam said, taking out a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it.
"Hmmm," I answered, distracted as I cleaned my digicam and pressed a few buttons to check.
"So, what changed your mind?" Sam asked, smoking out.
"Practicality, I guess," I replied, stuffing the camera in my small waist pouch.
Sam didn't say anything and quietly smoked before throwing the left-out cigarette piece in the dustbin and mused, "I hope you are not hiding anything from me. You know you can count on me if there is anything. By the way, I am still curious about what prompted your decision to leave in the first place."
I acted casual, busily looking at things to carry. But my mind immediately ran through all the incidents that happened in the last three weeks with Robbie. I was not planning to tell Sam, but I was afraid of breaking Sam's trust in me by hiding this issue. I turned around, ready to tell him when Twen and Jenny entered the room,
"Mommy, let's go. We'll be late. You will come too, right, Aunty Jenny?" Twen called me hurriedly before looking at Jenny with expectant eyes.
Twen's question was answered by Sam. He patted him gently on the head and said in a soft voice, "So sorry, Twen. Aunty Jenny needs to go to the hospital for her daily check-up,"
Twen's face drooped, but Jenny softly flicked on his forehead and said in a playful voice, "Don't you worry, kid. I will visit you tomorrow to hear all the details about your race."
"Promise?" Twen brightened up slightly on Jenny's visitation proposal.
"Promise," she said with a hi-five.
Twen smiled and everyone prepared to leave.
However, on opening the front door, everyone paused to see a small bouquet of white roses with a card saying "Sorry about last night" on the floor. I instantly knew who it was from. I panicked, thinking Robbie was lurking around, but he was not. Jenny and Sam ended up seeing the note, and they looked at me with suspicion written wide on their face.
I chuckled nervously and said in a totally unconvincing voice, "Tanya is such a sweet girl. Just a small quarrel, and she is sending sorry cards."
I can see that both Jenny and Sam did not believe it was from Tanya but did not want to voice their suspicion in front of Twen. Sam said in a voice that made me very uncomfortable,
"Guess, I have to swing by tomorrow as well."
Jenny seconded that but with shining eyes, "Of course!"
Please, God, make me invisible!
How am I supposed to explain everything to them, especially Jenny?
She became utterly indignant at my ex after learning about my past.
However, I did not get the time to feel miserable as Twen started to pull my sleeve. Coming back to my senses, I quickly picked up the bouquet and looked at the card as I made my way to the drawing table to place it. The writing was in Robbie's handwriting. I can't help thinking,
'Robbie! Should I really believe in you?'
I went back and joined the other on the elevator and parted ways once we reached down.
Venue: Grey Mount School's field
I was stuck with the crowd of parents outside the school field gate. Twen had already gone in. I was wondering if there would be any space for parents to see the kids perform when a teacher came and guided us towards a small sitting area with shade. I saw many junior and middle school students in their blue and white jerseys with their school emblem on them. I couldn't find Twen in this sea of blue and white kids. I scanned the field to see his dark curls but didn't find him.
The sports day started with the principal's lecture and then the special guests which was followed by a band parade performed by middle school students to start the event. Then, one by one, the sports events started. The athletics were first. There were various races; 50m, 100m, 200m, and relay races for both elementary and middle school students. There was floor gymnastics for both middle and elementary school students, which would take place in the school auditorium. Finally, there was badminton (played on the court thirty meters from the racing track) and soccer (which will be played on the field opposite the racetrack). These two were only for middle schoolers. Many of the parents went to the ground for watching soccer as it was being played side by side with athletics. At the end of the day, awarding ceremony will take place and end with the band parade.
I knew from Twen's babbling that he was in 50m, 100m, and relay races. I got ready with my camera to shoot him. There was a faculty member who was announcing or hosting while the sports teacher was the timekeeper. I saw the host carrying a small whistle. He was telling the rules of the race.
The prelims were played inter-section and were done before the sports day.
Now, the two winning teams of prelims are playing against the teams of their sister schools. (Grey Mount has three sister branches - Treasure Mount, Snow Mount, and Merry Mount). For the race, out of 50 students, 16 with the lowest running time were chosen and were then divided into two teams of 8. There were two teams from each sister branch, a total of eight teams, so the quarterfinals were to be played among them. Similarly, in the race, the top two winners in the quarterfinals were to race with their sister branches winners. I was extremely proud and happy that Twen was among the 16 selected ones. I looked through the field again, but it was nearly impossible to see him among so many kids.
"First race, elementary school 50m race group 1. Please take your place." the host called.
A small group of kids came forward. They stood in a straight line and then kneeled with their hands in the front. I searched for Twen among them, but he was not there.
"On your mark," the host bellowed, and the kids looked ahead, "Get set" the kids raised their hips and knees up. Then, the whistle blasted, and they ran.
This continued, and I found Twen in the third group. I clicked pictures of him in position during the race and as he finished. He won the 50m race. I cheered for him from the seating area. Some of the classy and sophisticated parents in the area found my behavior rowdy and snorted disapprovingly.
Next, in the 100m and relay race, he finished third. I cheered for him all the way and clicked several pictures to save them in the photo album. After all, it is these pics that will serve as memories later. I don't care whether he wins or not. It was more than enough for me that he had participated and was trying his best.
Weekly Power Status
200+ Power
Ranking 
0 Power
stone 
Paragraph comment