Chapter 13: Unproductive
January 14, 2020
Fuck. I can't believe that we have no classes again tomorrow due to a volcano eruption. So here I am, doing nothing again, typing shits all over again. I still can't move on about what happened yesterday. That hot chic on the bus. That stupid Jennifer who want to talk shit again with me. What a stressful day again.
I'm an unproductive person when I've reached my depressing days. I wanna move on, but my mind keeps on turning back to the times where I was terrible and depressed. Fuck, this is why I hate being a smart ass person. I overthink, and it causes me to lose a lot of things.
This Jennifer girl is bothering me again. She wanted to start again as being friends to me. I accept that offer, but her treatment to me is so fucking harsh. I did nothing. I just fucking apologized for being infatuated, and look what we got here, a hot tempered woman who tweets a lot of fake shits about me and telling shitty things about me to her 10,000 friends who don't even bother listening to her. It's just sad to my part.
We, men, suffer on a lot of trials and conflicts in our life, but we don't wanna vent it out in public, because of some shitty standards of the society on what they really expect to a man. It's so hard, but I wanna cry to my difficult days. I wanna vent out my sufferings to any person that is pleased to listen to. But no, people expects us not to be a pussy ass. Society wants alpha male. Note, I don't point out specifically, but this is the general society shit, man. If you are against this shit, then good for you, my woke brother.
Fuck this Jennifer girl. I'm hundred percent done with her since the beginning of 2020. I dunno why, but she always bother me a lot to the point that she still wanna do some late night chats with me, which is unhealthy to my part. I wanna end the conversation, but she don't want to. She will tell a lot of things that I change a lot, but seriously dude, it's fucking 2020. She told me last month that when 2020 hits her, she will change, but no, that's not the case. She became fucking stagnant. She posted a lot about promising shits about herself, but in the end, nothing happened. All she did was to rant all her shits with her friends, but no fucking application. If you wanna know how fucking terrible she was, then I'll make a chapter out of her. Remember, this is all fictional, which is based from me, my Gregoritas. That's not also her real name, coz if I tell you, it sounded like trash.
Sorry for being too mad at her, saying shits about her, but please bear with me. I suffered a lot emotionally, to the point that I wanna kill myself coz this world is a fucking asshole. This girl literally wanna go back to how things are, but no, she can't make it happen. I give her a chance to prove it, but she just make things worse. Sorry.
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