Hangover
January 1, 2020
Before starting our novel, first of all I just wanna say...
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!! THANK YOU FOR THIS WONDERFUL 2019! MORE BLESSINGS TO COME THIS 2020!
Okay, back to the novel.
I was not supposed to be writing as of now, because I'm suffering from a fucking head ache again due to hangover. Yep, I drank too much Black Labels today. It was bought by my father, who was also an extreme alcoholic.
He is literally an example of a drunkard. He never missed a drink. Every. Single. Day. Whether after work or no work, he still drinks. My mom warns him a million times over his alcohol addiction, but he never stops drinking. I can classify him as "God Tier Drinker", because I have no more words left to say on his love for alcohol. There is even this one occasion where we went blue for the whole night, because he accidentally broke his precious Johnnie Walker, which was given by his friend from work. He got so disappointed to himself that he even bought one to replace for it.
Back when he was not diagnosed with health problems, he can easily finish the whole case of San Mig Light, a famous Filipino beer brand, in just a day. San Mig Light was his favorite beer; he never missed a day in a week without it. The only time that he can stop from drinking is when we're going to cinema at night. Of course, alcoholic beverages aren't allowed inside, which makes my dad suffer the inevitable hours of not drinking any beer.
Somehow, I managed to understand his situation as a father of the family. He's the only one who is working to feed us. Well, my mom graduated as a civil engineer, but she became a housewife to take care for us.
As I'm getting older and mature, I began to understand the situation of my parents. I realized my mistakes I had made upon them. I began to see clearly what has been their situation if I were in their shoes. Sometimes, I side with my father drinking, because that's the only thing that makes him happy after being super tired from work. On the other side, I also think that my mom's side is more reasonable, because we can't afford to lose Dad, because he's the only bread and butter of the family.
My mom always warns us that if something shit happened to Dad, we'll be all going back to the province, living with aunties and uncles. I dunno to other foreign countries, but it is a Filipino thing to do that when there's nothing left for us, we have no choice but to go back from square one, which is going to the hometown province. This is a very tough life for me, because it's not the same environment as before. I hate thinking this possibility in life. Although I do care for my aunties and uncles, but it's just hard to adjust in their kind of environment, which is rural. First of all, no WiFi. I can't do this typing shit, because I won't have the enough free time to finish this shit. My attitude might also change due to the atmosphere there.
I've seen thousand of possibilities that can happen to my life due to the bunch of life stories that can be seen on TV. What I'm fearing the most is the possibility of my mom having a mental breakdown in front of us. I've seen it many times, and I just wanna hug her all the time.
One time was when I was playing LoL, and I had a bad play. My mom was calling me, and I accidentally said some harsh words, which wasn't meant to hurt her. I felt bad that day, because I made her legit cry. On that day, I swore to myself to not to rage too much, because it can also affect other people's day.
Sometimes, when life's too tough for us, we can't handle it anymore. The toughness overflows within us that we don't even know when to pour it away. This is the same as what happened to me when playing LoL. I can accidentally pour out all my rage to other people. It's like spilling a very hot coffee.
Anyways, why the fuck am I talking about my family in front of my readers? I know it's okay, but my genre is fucking adventure and teenage fiction, not some fucking drama. I'm not even a good drama writer, but why am I doing this?? Is this the extent of my ultra hangover? Aghhhh, my head still fucking hurts.
Fuck, I think I need to stop my excessive swearing. This is my last year's New Year's resolution, and until now, and I still didn't even manage to fulfill it!! Fu-, nevermind.
The only reason why I wanted to stop swearing for so long is that it is sometimes misinterpreted by my fellow colleagues. In Philippines, we have this term "tangina", which can be used in any type of conversation. It is almost the same as "fuck", but tangina can be an all-rounder. Tangina can be used whether you're happy, sad, angry, depressed, and many other types of emotions.
In my case, the only problem that I have is my tongue is like a fire. I dunno, but I accidentally hurt people's emotions for no reasons. Is it maybe, because I'm not still a fully human? I dunno. Even though I find my words to be taken as a joke, a lot of people always misinterpreting it. I wanna avoid that kind of feeling starting 2020. I just don't wanna hurt other people's feelings without me realizing it. This situation happened a lot of times in me, but never again 2020.
Anyways, I want to take a break for now, and sleep. This hangover is not stopping even I took a dose of coffee. So yeah, peace out. I'll talk about my shits more when I'm in full Murakami mode.
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