Deepest regret
A smiling couple appeared when I am scrolling at my phone, I guess I haven't deleted all our photos yet. I am again lost at my own world while staring at my picture five years ago. I am indeed happy, see how long my hair was, how my eyes sparkle like stars as I looked at him. We were both happy, I'm still wondering what went wrong.
He gave me my happiest memories; he gave me so much things to remember but then one day he just left without saying goodbye. Kayla was right, it has been years since he left me hanging and yet here, I am unable to move on. I am still keeping our memories dear to my heart and hoping that one day he'll come back. Maybe that's the reason why I can't move on, I am still hoping for him to appear in front of me again. I hated myself for not fighting for my love, for not fighting enough and I let him go just like that, my deepest regret is keeping my distance when I knew I had so little chance to win. There are so many possibilities that would happen, but I never made anything that could make him stay.
I am not aware of what's happening around me as I was lost in my own thoughts. Kayla slapped my arm so hard that made me look at her angrily. This silly girl smiled took my phone and said "Stop thinking, and I will help you delete some of your memories with this man, sweety don't keep these kinds of things anymore. I know you and him, you both are my friends, but you are my best after all. I know you still hold him dear to your heart, but one day you need to open up. So please tell me if somethings bothering you ok? Hmm. Lala?"
Looking at her actions and listening to her endless blabber I smiled and hugged her tight, "Thank you for staying with me, thank you for understanding me. You really are the best". Though, I can't show her, and I seldom tell her my worries, I know she understands me the best, she knows me after all.
"There, there silly girl, you need to pull yourself together and bring that energy out because in a few hours we will be boarding and in time we will be at Taiwan. Aren't you excited Lala?" she said while giving back my phone. I looked at her and nodded, "Yes, and I guess someone has forgotten that this is her first flight and travel abroad. Her anxiety a while ago just vanished. Hmm. Kay-kay, aren't I the best medicine you have?"
Kayla laughed and looked at me with disdain, "You really think so high of yourself, eh? Ms. Roslin?", her calling me with my last name shows she's pissed because I reminded her about her anxiety.
Kayla Kim, a Korean Japanese national, Kayla or Kailla in Korea, is my best friend and roommate. We both worked in Sanno Hospital. She's a cardiologist. The funny thing about her is that, she was born and raised in Tokyo and haven't even tried traveling through a plane. She always said that she's kind of afraid but if she's with someone, she can travel without worry. Maybe that's the reason why she hasn't gone to her parent's country since I knew her.
Kayla is a real beauty; her skin is as white as milk and so smooth that anyone would think she's one of those Korean celebrity. With her height of 5'5", she can become one of those top k-pops, but she chooses to be a doctor. Her parents went back to Korea during our college days, and they keep on bugging her to go back to their country so that she can run their hospital over there. But this friend of mine is stubborn and she wanted to make a name of her own.
We met during our college years and since then we never been apart. I am an Emergency Doctor and furthering my studies as a Neurologist. We both have a very busy schedule and this trip is what we needed to get away from the emergency room.
Kayla is still looking at me coldly, so I decided to distract her by asking her "Why did you choose Taiwan of all places? We are living in one of the most beautiful country in the world, and that is Japan, so why don't you just choose Hokkaido or somewhere here?"
She just shrugged and said "I want to leave Japan for once, and Taiwan is my first step. If we have our vacation near Tokyo, how can we really unwind without worrying of work? That is why I decided to leave for Taiwan, and I heard it's a really nice place."
"Oooookayy.." I wanted to say more but I know our conversation will open another door in my heart. Maybe she knew why I was reluctant but at the same time happy that we will stay abroad for a couple of days.
Taiwan was the place we decided to visit after our wedding, that was the plan, but he left me. All tickets were booked, and the only thing left was the wedding, but he left me hanging.
Then I heard from one of our friends he already left the country with his girlfriend. I was shattered and almost went insane. I blamed myself for letting him be, my deepest regret.
Kayla sensed something is not right with me so she brought me back to reality when she hugged me tight and said "Don't worry, you two didn't go to Taiwan together, so we will make our memories there. So, will you please wake up!!"
Then an announcement came, broadcasting that our flight will be delayed due to technical issues. We both looked at each other and laughed. "So, Lala, I was so excited that we will board soon but was delayed. Ohhhh. Now I remember, who was that guy again?" Kayla said as she looked at me with curiosity.
"Who...." As I am trying to ask who she meant, I became silent and shocked....
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