Chapter 117: The Legends Meet (Part IV)
"Put me down, Utakata. I can walk by myself." Kaname complained.
"Nope. You may have dodged the hospital, but you're not leaving my arms. Choose, it's either that, or we're going back to Konoha." The man smirked, seeing Kaname flush.
"… You got very protective all of a sudden." She groaned.
"And whose fault is this?" he flicked her forehead, "Haru and Kushi will need their mother. Each time you fight, you end up seriously hurt? You know it doesn't encourage me in letting you go, Kana-chan?"
"Uh… persistent slug…" she smiled lustfully.
Utakata snorted, "Pot calling the kettle brown?"
"Okay, stop it, lovebirds. A battlefield is not exactly the right place to get busy with each other, especially in front of my godson and goddaughter!" Itachi interrupted them.
"Hehe, little Itachi-chan got jealous?" Kaname chuckled, melting into her boyfriend's hug. "Let me guess, Izumi-chan wants to wait until you're married?"
Itachi blushed, giving all the assurances Kaname needed, "... Haah… You too, Utakata, hands-off Nee-san's butt. It's not a dough you need to constantly knead. It's neither the right place nor time. Both of you should be at least a little bit worried - if the fight continues like that, Naruto is going to die."
"Heh, so innocent." Kaname snickered, "Just look, Naruto finished studying the Rasengan. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. It would be perfect if Kabuto-kun didn't use shadow clones..." She shrugged.
"Do you want me to assist Naruto, Nee-san?"
"No. You're one of the few that understands, Itachi-kun. To feel the exhilaration after a victory, you need to withstand the bitterness of defeat first. If Naruto wants to be a Hokage, he needs to experience and accept that part of shinobi life."
"Shit! He is finished. Looks like Naruto's tendons may have been cut!" Itachi flickered away, bolting towards the blonde.
Kaname sighed. "Utakata, please."
A slimy tentacle shot out from beneath his sky blue kimono. Itachi did not anticipate something gripping his ankle one-fifth of the way towards Naruto's location. The unexpected tug made the speeding man face plant the ground. Utakata pulled him across the bushes for a couple of seconds.
Patting the dirt from his face and clothes, Itachi stood back up, glaring, slightly peeved at Kaname and Utakata, "Was this necessary?"
"Yep. Just look at the eyes of that Granny. Heh, it seems Naru-chan's guts are infectious. If the legends about her are true, then she will protect Naruto out of her own volition..."
----
"Why do you need so much of it, Nee-san?" Itachi gasped, exhausted.
"You know that I shouldn't be even conscious?" Kaname smirked, "Pretty much all the chakra my body recovers is instantly being consumed to keep me awake. But don't worry, Itachi-kun, I've brought my own personal and almost infinite chakra battery with me." She laughed, pointing at Utakata.
"So you knew I would come with you, Kana-chan? What if I didn't? Did you have a backup plan?"
"Hmm, nope, didn't think of that." Kaname chimed back.
"That's… Yeah, I wouldn't let you go so weakened alone, but you had to have another means. That's not like you."
"Hehe, if I asked Izumi-chan out, I'm sure I could sway your decision." She chuckled, batting her eyelashes back at Utakata.
"Ugh…" Itachi grumbled, "Both of you, keep it in your pants." the black-haired man massaged his forehead, "What did you do to my Nee-san, Utakata?"
"It's the other way around, Itachi. Okay, Kana-chan, let's tone it down a bit before we traumatize him. Itachi seems spent out of his chakra. What do you want me to do?"
"Muh~ No fun..." Kaname pouted comically, "You will put as much of your chakra into this seal." she pulled a scrap of paper from Itachi's hand.
"What is it for?"
"A prank?" she smiled in reply.
"Yeah... That's much more like Nee-san's way of thinking." Jiraiya's student added.
"Sure, give it to me. I will fill the seal to the brim."
"Heh, not so fast. Flaring your chakra would instantly alarm Orochimaru, Utakata. First, we need to get closer."
"Closer? Haah... How close?"
"About, there?" she pointed at the heads popping over the horizon of three mountain-sized creatures fighting among themselves.
"Hehe. Well, good luck, Utakata. I think I will stay here. I wouldn't want to get squashed."
"What are you talking about, Itachi? Someone has to roast the meat! You're coming with us." The jinchūriki joined in on the fun.
"You're still planning on making a barbeque?! I thought that was a joke."
"How can you say that?!" Kaname shot back, "It's our family's first outing. Of course, we will have something tasty to eat."
"Just give up, Itachi. You need to know when to yield."
"But Naruto?"
"I had a deal with Kurama. Foxy tsundere won't let Naruto die that easily, don't worry." she explained.
"... damnit." Itachi mumbled.
-----
"Before you ask, I was a student of Orochimaru for some time. I know the way he fights."
"But a tunnel this big?!" Itachi gasped, holding a glowing ball of fire in his hand.
"He likes to use his summons to burrow underground and attack his opponents from below."
"So this tunnel was created by one of his snakes? Heh, that's brilliant, Kana-chan. It will help us immensely."
"I doubt we will get all the way out there in one swoop. Most likely, we will need to walk outside at the end."
"Walk, huh?" Utakata grinned, lightly tossing Kaname up in his arms.
"Less complaining, more feet action, Utakata." She smirked, playing with the babies lying on her belly.
"I'm not complaining, you're light, and I like feeling your weight in my arms."
"Hey," Itachi exclaimed, "Something weird is in front of- Woah!" he stopped at the edge of what looked like a bottomless underground cave. "A cavern?"
"Hehehe, we're lucky!" Kaname chuckled, "It's not a cave. We just changed a tunnel made by a medium-sized snake to the one created by Manda himself!"
The tremors of fighting mountain-sized creatures came from above their heads, giving proof to Kaname's words.
"And you brought Haru-kun and Kushina-chan to make them toothpicks for the monster that had enough strength to drill this?!"
"All according to the plan." she reassured Itachi, "But it's nice to know you care so much about them already."
"Ugh, it's..." the man groaned in embarrassment, "You two made me their godfather. I'm going to protect them - it's what you wanted, isn't it?"
"You're only half correct, Itachi." Utakata nodded, "Yes, it was one of the reasons we thought of you. If something wrong happens, it would be nice to think our babies have someone that can protect them. But there was an even more important reason. You're one of the people that Kana-chan and I trust the most."
"And not having an Uchiha stick up your arse is another big merit." Kaname laughed out.
"Heh, that one is because of you, Nee-san. But thanks."
"You're welcome. Now, look for an exit. It's time for some barbeque!"
"Just asking, Kana-chan. Can two months old eat solid food?"
"..." Kaname's jaw dropped at her boyfriend's question.
"Heh, didn't think of that?"
"Damnit... You know that they won't let us rest if they notice us eat?"
"Did you not bring the milk bottles?" Kaname turned her head sideways, "Haah... Their cries will bring Orochimaru's attention in a second. You will have to feed them, Kana-chan."
"I'll just put them to sleep. I don't want that pervert to leer at me..."
"Yes, Jiraiya-sensei has an amazing sense in finding undressed women. It's almost on the Byakugan level."
'Partner, one more thing!' A voice in Utakata's head stopped him.
"What is it, Saiken?" Utakata's consciousness teleported to his tenant's prison.
"About that white slug you saw over the horizon. Katsuyu and I may have had a history, and she might be somewhat annoyed if she discovers my chakra."
"What? Wait a moment, Saiken, you mean you're a pair?" Saiken's optical antennas turned sideways, trying to ignore the question.
"... We were a teacher and a student - I think Katsuyu thought we could be more than that. But it was a long time ago, even before the First Hokage caught me and my siblings, selling us out like trinkets to Hidden Villages. I got sealed away into my first jinchūriki. I pretty much left Katsuyu without any notice of what happened. I wasn't able to contact her for almost a century now."
Utakata facepalmed at the quick recap, "I will deal with it later, okay?"
"Yeah, thanks. I thought you would need that piece of info."
"What is it, Utakata?" Kaname asked once Utakata eyes regained sharpness.
"Sannin Tsunade's summon is Saiken's student slash lover." he replied.
"Pfft... Hahaha!"
"The Slug Summon may be angry once she senses his chakra."
"It's okay - she won't be able to act." Kaname began explaining her plan.
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[Tsunade's PoV]
"Orochimaru. I smell meat." Manda's long tongue tasted the air.
"Huhuhu, are you hungry already? After we finish this, you can eat that frog."
"I'm a toad!" Gamabunta growled back, jumping at them.
Manda's tail slapped his opponent away, "I smell roasted meet."
"It's a chance, Katsuyu! They seem confused." Tsunade called to her summon.
"No, it's my master's chakra!" The white slug trembled in anticipation, "He is alive!"
"Katsuyu?!" The enormous summon started to rapidly turn her body around, looking for the source of the chakra, forcing the busty woman to grip the eye tentacle just to not get flinged away, "Shit! What is going on?!"
Checking her chakra network, Tsunade found traces of a foreign intrusion into her nervous system, 'A genjutsu?! Wait! Why only now I do hear this humming?'
Sannin's experience instantly diagnosed the source of her problems. The calming and sleepy melody was seeping through her body - the clear and warm voice was unquestionably belonging to a young woman. 'I didn't even notice when I got caught. If this woman is an ally to Orochimaru- No, if she was, then we would be dead already. <Kai> [Release]!'
Opening her eyes back to reality, Tsunade's nose was instantly assaulted by the smell of roasted meat, inadvertently filling her mouth with saliva. Orochimaru and Jiraiya were still held in a genjutsu, and all three boss summons stood frozen, glaring at each other.
The woman put her hand on top of Katsuyu's head and released her from the illusory prison. 'Shit, where is that woman? No, I need to end Orochimaru first. I can't let him desecrate my grandma's corpse!'
"<Kai>!" At this moment, Orochimaru freed himself from the trap.
'Son of a bitch!' Tsunade prepared herself for the second round.
"No... She couldn't be here..." The Snake Sannin gasped, looking at the ground.
"Tsunade-san, below us." Katsuyu called out.
"Huh?" she walked to the edge of the slug's head and looked down. There she saw two men laughing next to a glimmering coal grill and a woman sitting on a blanket and rocking two small bundles in her arms. "What the fuck?! Is this some kind of a joke for them?! For fucks sake, we're three legendary shinobis! And they brought babies?!"
"<Kai>!" Jiraiya joined his teammates, gaping down at Kaname, "Ha-Hahahaha! You lost, Orochimaru!"
"No, I did not! Kana-chan should have killed me when she had the chance. She is too weak-"
'That woman, Kana-chan? That Kaname, Naruto's sister?' Tsunade's sight measured what looked like a loving young mother, a woman that brought her babies to temporarily one of the least secure places on this planet.
"Zip it, Worm. You selfish mother-fucker do not even understand how fucked up you are. I don't want to kill you - I want to see you suffer." Kaname shouted back.
'She is nothing like Minato, was she adopted? If her eyes were red, I could swear she was an Uchiha. The man in the blue kimono is constantly looking at Kaname, her boyfriend? Or maybe a husband? Damnit, he looks hot. And the third one... To hell with the Uchihas, he looks like a grown-up copy of that idiot Fugaku-chan.'
[AN: Tsunade will become Kaname's rival. They won't be enemies, but Tsunade needs someone that can kick her ass back in shape :-P]
"Huhuhu, I see my trap worked, Kana-chan. I don't feel an ounce of chakra from you." Orochimaru chuckled, "Manda, kill them... Manda?" The snake's head didn't move.
"That's only the beginning of my revenge, asshole." Kaname narrowed her eyes at the white-faced man.
"What did you do?!"
"A selfish bastard like you forgot about his own pet. You taught me it yourself: if you attack your summoned beast, the contract is invalidated. Have fun. Manda, kill him."
"NO! <Kai>!" Orochimaru slapped his hand on a snake's head, attempting to release him from a genjutsu.
"*HISS*!!" It was one and only warning the Sannin received before a purple tail, moving unnaturally fast despite its size, tried to impale him.
"What did you do?!" Orochimaru dodged the attacks.
"Manda, take the fight somewhere else. This Worm's face is making me sick." she ordered, ignoring the scathing looks she received from her kenjutsu teacher.
"Guh!" a swiping attack connected and send Orochimaru crashing through multiple rocks and trees. Manda's sinuous body followed his late summoner.
"Ero-sennin, Granny. Come down. We have too much food either way." Kaname called out to the remaining Sannin.
"Hehe, I won't say no to a grub." The Toad Sannin instantly joined the party.
"And you, Granny? Ero-sennin will eat everything if you let him." Kaname shouted to the old woman on top of a slug's head.
'No doubt she is Naruto's sister. Both are prone to giving nicknames...' Tsunade jumped down Katsuyu's head, "You know that Manda won't stop Orochimaru for long? He will come to hunt you down."
"I didn't do that to stop Orochimaru, Granny. I did that to erase his ability to summon his little slithering helpers. If he puts down Manda, then I win. If he gets away, he won't be able to summon him anytime soon either. A win-win."
"Okay, girl. I think you don't understand. Despite your trick of putting Manda under the illusion, Orochimaru is stronger than him. He will get you or your babies, whichever will be more useful for him."
"Thanks, Granny. But I don't really care - Snake had it coming. As I said, it's only the beginning, and he knows what I'm talking about."
"Uh, don't call me Granny."
"When was the last time you saw yourself in a mirror, Granny?" Kaname laughed.
Tsunade touched the side of her wrinkled face, "Ah shit, the rejuvenation seal hit its limit." The woman in her early twenties turned into a frail, old lady, with light grey hair and wrinkles all over her face and body.
"The years of getting rat-arsed drunk did not help with beauty, who would have thought. Huh, Granny?"
"Ugh... Shut up, you... Flat board."
"These are almost C-cup, thank you very much. My boyfriend loves them." Kaname pushed her bust with her forehands, "Don't you?" she smirked towards Utakata. He was only able to numbly nod his head, looking at Kaname's breasts. "Do you see that, Granny?"
"Yeah-yeah. Almost C doesn't make them one, Flat Board."
"Hehe, we will talk about that later. Itachi, if you can, bring Naru-chan and Granny's student back. We must go before the Snake comes back."
"Nee-san, what about Kabuto?"
"If I asked you to kill him, would you do it?"
After two seconds of thinking, Itachi continued, "Yes, if it was for you, then yes."
[AN: Itachi always was a pacifist, even in the original story.]
"That's why I won't do it. Go and bring them here."
"... Thanks, Nee-san." the young man flickered away.
"What's this about? Why would you leave one of your enemies alive?"
"If you need to know, Granny. I don't really care if Kabuto lives or dies. If you want to go, you can end him yourself. Itachi-kun was traumatized after his father shown him the frontlines when he was about three. He despises murder. He doesn't lack the resolve or anything - Itachi-kun is resourceful enough to find a way with the least amount of casualties from any circumstances. That's his ninja way."
"Hmm, a strange boy, an Uchiha with a good heart, that's unprecedented."
"Yeah, w-"
"*Cough* Kana-chan!" Jiraiya interrupted her, "I wanted to ask how did you break Orochimaru's seal? You should still be bolted to the hospital bed."
"I don't really understand, my body automatically started feeding his seal the required chakra, while keeping the leftovers to wake me up. It's hard to explain."
"Hehe. You're truly unique."
"Thanks, Jiraiya-san."
"Weren't you the second reason they came here? I was to give you a check-up or something?"
"Thanks, but it's not needed anymore. You see, I'm an accomplished medic myself, Granny. I need a week or two, and I will get my chakra back."
"Hmm, an accomplished medic, not scared of a Snake Sannin's wrath, has the gall to piss me off. Who are you? No, before that, Pervert, what are you hiding from me?" Tsunade narrowed her eyes at Jiraiya.
"*Gulp*" he swallowed a big piece of bacon.
"Granny, if I come back to full strength, I'll most likely be able to kick your arse without breaking a sweat. By the way, I'm Kaname Uchiha, nice to meet you."
"AN UCHIHA?!"
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
dahnik
dahnik Hello, my dear readers :-). I have good and bad news, let's start with the bad one: I got sick, most likely the flu... at least I hope so :-) The good news: I'm getting a sick week off from work, meaning I will have some more time to write the next chapter :-)
Yes, I know the PSs are still down, I sent my notification to mods on discord, but I'm still getting verified... But don't worry - comments, ideas, and reviews work even better than those power stones :-) Tell me what do you think about my story :-)
If you found any mistakes, please inform me :-) I don't like mistakes :-)