Chapter 39: Chapter 33 - Mine
A/N
This chapter is Janina’s current situation in NYC! :P The next chapter will be back on Ynna’s POV. Whew! Nairaos din si Janina! Medyo hirap kasi ako isulat yung character ni Janina e. Sobrang attached na yata ako sa pagiging Ynna. :P Anyway, yun lang. Enjoy reading! Thank you for almost 200K reads! Kilig! Happy me! Thank YOU. ^__^
Also, the theme song for this chapter is 'Rescue Me by Divina Sisters', it's a song the about bullying. Try watching the video on the media corner. I am also part of that video. So hanapin niyo nalang kung saan ako dun. Clue: Ako yung bully. Bwahaha! :P
♥ Mhariz
--
• JANINA NICOLE FORTALEZA •
“Ang ganda ganda naman ni Riri. Kamukhang kamukha mo siya, Lalaine. Mas maganda siya doon sa Nini, yung panganay mo ba yun?”
“Ah. Oo. Bunso ko si Riri at panganay ko si Nini. Pareho naman silang maganda. Pero mas marami ngang nagsasabi na mas maganda itong si Riri.”
“Kung ako sa iyo, kumare, itong si Nini nalang yung ipadala mo sa Bohol. Si Riri nalang ang dito sa Maynila. Tutal siya naman ang mas maganda. At mukhang mas mabait din siyang bata.”
“Huwag naman. Si Nini naman talaga ang anak ni Philippe kaya siya ang dapat sa Maynila. At alam ko namang mamahalin ni Peter ng buong buo si Riri sa Bohol kaya ayos na din ako doon.”
“Ikaw rin. Mga anak mo naman yan eh.”
“Babalikan ko nalang si Riri baling araw. Sa ngayon, kay Nini ko nalang muna ibibigay lahat ng atensyon ko. Pero mahal na mahal ko si Riri…”
~
“Ynna, please! Tayo nalang ulit! Mahal na mahal kita!”
“Dave, please lang ha! May mahal na akong iba! Hindi kita mahal!”
“Ynna, please! Gagawin ko ang lahat tanggapin mo lang ako sa buhay mo. Hihiwalayan ko si Janina. Ikaw ang mahal ko Ynna! Ikaw lang at wala nang iba pa!”
“Dave naman, maawa ka naman sa ate ko. Mahal ka niya kaya hindi mo siya pwedeng hiwalayan! Ayokong magalit siya sa akin. Ayokong maging sanhi ng pagkakasira ng relasyon niyo! At hindi kita mahal, Dave!”
“Pero Ynna! Please Ynna! Ikaw ang mahal ko Ynna at hindi ang ate mo!”
“Hindi kita mahal Dave, doon ka na sa ate dahil sa kanya, siguradong tatanggapin ka niya. Sa akin, wala kang pag-asa. Sorry, Dave.”
~
“Ynna dear! We missed you!”
“I missed you too, Karen & Debbie!”
“My god! Sana hindi na bumalik si Janina. Para tayo nalang talaga yung mag-bestfriends. You are way way way better than your sister!”
“Debbie naman, 'wag ganun. Mas okay kapag tayong lahat magkakasama. Pero in fairness, okay na din yung ngayon na tayong tatlo lang. Hahaha.”
“True! Kung bumalik man siya or not, we won’t care as long as we have you as our boss, Queen Ynna!”
“Love you girls! Mwah!”
~
“And our valedictorian is… Alynna Paredes! Please come up the stage and get your medals.”
“Thank you, Dean!”
“Your very much welcome, Ynna! You deserve it. Sana tularan ka ng ate mo someday. Turuan mo naman siyang maging masipag kahit minsan lang.”
“Not sure if I can do that, Dean, but I will try my best. Haha!”
~
“Ynna, Ynna, Ynna! I’m glad I have finally found you! We almost believed your sister when she pretended to be you!”
“It’s my pleasure, Ms. Valeria. Buti nalang nahanap niyo ako. Huwag kayong maniniwala sa mga peke. Marami talagang nagpapanggap ngayon. Mga desperada kasi. Hindi naman magaganda.”
“I know right! Good thing the original talent I am looking for showed up already! You are God’s gift to us talent agencies!”
“I know, Valeria, I know.”
~
“Go Ynna! Go my Riri! You are the best daughter ever!”
“I love you, Ynna! Please be mine! Marry me! I will do everything just to have you!”
“Go! Ynna! You are the best BFF ever! We want to me BFFs with you forever!”
“We love you, Alynna! Cheers for our Valedictorian!”
“Ynna! You are the best model in MMA! You rocked that runway! Amazing!”
“We love Ynna!”
“We love Ynna!”
“We love Ynna!”
“We love Ynna!”
~
“AAAAAHHHHHHH” I shouted really loud when I woke up. Fudge. What a dream. What a very bad dream!!!
Nagising akong umiiyak at may gigil na gigil na kamao. I wanna punch that Ynna on her face! I hate her! Inagaw na niya ang lahat sa akin. Nagpapakasasa siya sa magandang buhay na para sa akin doon sa Maynila samantalang ako, nandito sa bodega, nakahubad, at nirarape ng kung sino sino. What a nice way to trade lives, huh?
I looked at my whole body. Sugat sugat. Puro pasa. Sobra akong minaltrato dito sa NYC. Pero wala akong laban. All I did was cry. Bakit ko hinayaang ibigay sa Ynna na yan ang lahat lahat ng meron ako? Kung tutuusin siya dapat ang nandito eh. Siya yung maganda ‘di ba? Fuck her! She is the one who should be fucked now!
Paulit ulit kong sinuntok yung pintuan ng stock room hanggang sa nag-bleed na ang kamay ko. I don’t care kung magkasugat ako. Sugat sugat na rin naman ako from head to toe eh. I wanted to destroy everything until I saw a calendar. Calendar ng mga employees ng MMA. Schedule ng mga pangrarape nila sa akin. Amazing right? Naka schedule pa kung sino ang mga mangrarape sa akin. Ginagawa na talaga nila akong laruan.
November 1 na pala. Halloween. My favorite day. Kasi I have been living like Halloween since the day I lived here in the stockroom. Kailan ba ako first na napunta dito? Around June yun kasi pasukan ko yun sa ECB eh. And now, November 1 na. 6 months na rin pala akong nagpaparape dito. So 6 months more pa pala bago ako makakaalis. I wonder kung ano na ang itsura ko at ng katawan ko by that time. Laspag na laspag na laspag na yun panigurado.
Valeria is so harsh! She is the definition of cruel. I can’t believe that she has the capability to do this to me! Or to anyone! It’s not even my fault when I gave in to Calvin. He started it and I just reciprocated his actions. Kasalanan ko ba kung matanda na siya at ako ang mas gusto ng asawa niya! Palibhasa insecure sa beauty ko! Kaya ngayon, pinapapangit niya ako! Excuse me! After another 6 long months, magpaparetoke nalang ako! At sisiguraduhin kong mas maganda pa rin ako kay Valeria at sa mga anak niya! Fuck them all! I hate them so much!!!
“Hey slut! You’re rest time is over! Time to eat you again!” shouted an employee.
“Fine.” I said. Blankly. Sanay na ako. At parang normal nalang sa akin ito. It has been my routine simce then. Buti nga at hindi pa ako nagkakasakit eh.
When the male employee was about to come in to rape me, a man stopped him. Mukhang mag-uunahan pa yata sa akin. Pero nagtaka ako nang hindi man lang lumaban yung male employee na nauna doon sa pumigil sa kanya. Doon ko lang narealize na yung male employee na pumigil ay hindi lang basta employee, because he is the son of the founder. Yup, it was Nick Murray. Syempre, anak siya ng may-ari. Kaya everyone in line made way for him to come first.
Tignan mo nga naman, ang akala ko mabait itong si Nick. Titikman din pala ako.
***
“Hey.” He started. Kunwari naaawa pa yung mukha niya. If I know gustong gusto na niya akong hawakan at angkinin like everyone else.
“Why only now, Nick Murray? Why not before? You can have me first back then. Why now when I am already so used? Why now that I am already so fucked up?” I asked, looking bored.
“I just wanted to try a slut this time.” he smirked.
“Nice.” I laughed. He’s being funny.
He didn’t say anything after that. Instead, lumapit lang siya sa aking hubad na katawan at unang hinawakan ang aking braso. Nilapit na ang ulo niya sa ulo ko at alam kong anytime ay hahalikan na niya ako at pagsasamantalahan kaya naman ipinikit ko na lang ang aking mata at ihinanda ang aking sarili sa mga mangyayari. Kailangan ko nang masanay, I kept on repeating that to myself while I was waiting for Nick’s lips to touch mine.
Pero iba ang nangyari. There was no lips that touched mine. Instead, a cloth touched my body. When I opened my eyes, I can’t believe what I was seeing. Dinadamitan niya ako. He has a T-shirt and shorts with him. Parang binili pa niya ito kasi bago lang yung amoy nung tela. Sinusuot niya sa nanghihina kong katawan ito. Hindi ako makapalag kasi malakas siya. First time lang ako nadamitan ulit after 6 months. Who would’ve thought na kaya ko palang maghubad for that long?
“Why are you doing this to me, Nick?” I asked. Kunot ang aking noo. He is unbelievable. I can’t understand what he’s trying to do.
“I want to do a good deed to you, Janina. Not the deed you’re expecting me to do.”
“B-But why?” I asked again. Confused.
“Let’s just say that I am not as harsh as my mom and my sister.”
“But what are you trying to do?”
“Just let me do this. I know you missed wearing clothes.”
“Nick, I’m asking you.”
“Fine. Okay. I don’t want my mother and sister to be a bad person. They were not like that before. They are just brainstormed by my step dad, Calvin. You were also part of his schemes that is why you are here.”
“What?” gulat kong nasabi. Anong schemes? Anong meron kay Calvin bukod sa maniac siya?
“Ever since my mom remarried and became in a relationship together with Calvin, MMA's sales went down. Sure, MMA became the top modeling agency in New York because of Calvin’s connections, but Calvin himself has a secret agenda, and that I just found out yesterday. He has been getting a lot of money from MMA’s revenue without my mother knowing about it.”
“H-How did you know about it?”
“I have my eyes on Calvin, always.”
“B-But why are you helping me? I don't see any connection.”
“Because I know that you are not a bad person. If there’s anyone who’s bad here, it's definitely Calvin. Now, I’m here to help you escape from all this shit.”
“You don’t need to do that, Nick. You will just get harmed.” I shook my head.
“I insist. I wanted to help you. So please just let me do this.”
I shook my head again to disagree but he just continued.
“Today is November 1, 2014. Do you even realize that you have been repeatedly raped for 6 months already. Don’t you want to escape?”
“Of course I want to. But I don’t want to harm you.” I answered. 6 months nalang naman ulit at free na ako eh, I thought.
“It’s okay to get harmed as long as I get to help you.”
“Nick, please, don’t. There are a lot of CCTVs in here.” I pointed all of the CCTV cameras to him.
“I have a plan. You can escape later.”
“Nick, it’s really okay. I am fine in here. These clothes are more than enough.”
“Are you sure?” He asked, looking very worried about me which melted my heart.
“Yes.” I nodded.
Silence…
“Janina, I will leave you my cellphone. You can call anyone from the Philippines. I will also tell all our employees not to touch you for today because you’re sick.”
“Hold on! Why are you leaving me your phone?”
“I want you to call a very important person to you back in the Philippines. Talk to him or her. Have a good conversation. And after that, you decide. If you still don’t want to escape, then I will respect you. But if you changed your mind and you already want to escape, my number is there, just one call, and I will help you to do your escape plan.”
“T-Thanks, Nick.”
“Don’t thank me just yet, because my offer is only for today.”
“Noted.” I said with a weak smile.
“Okay.” He said before he left me alone at the stock room with his phone on my hand.
***
Halos isang oras na akong nakatingin sa cellphone ko pero hindi pa rin ako nakakapagdecide kung tatakas ba ako dito o hindi, kung may tatawagan ba ako sa Pilipinas o wala, at kung tatawagan ko ba si Nick o hindi.
Maya-maya pa ay napagdesisyunan ko na din na tumawag. Sayang nga naman ang opportunity na binigay sa akin ni Nick. Hindi naman lagi akong may cellphone dito. Kapag ipinagpabukas ko ito ay siguradong gagahasain nanaman ako ng mga walang awang emplayado ni Valeria. And as much as possible, I don't want that to happen again.
Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan kung bakit ako tinutulungan ni Nick. May gusto ba siya sa akin? Pero hindi eh, more like gusto yata niyang tulungan na magbago pa yung pamilya niya. Sa kwento niya sa akin kanina, parang kasing nilalamon na sila sobra ni Calvin. Parang bine-brainwash na ni Calvin sila Cassandra at Valeria.
Kawawa rin naman pala yung sitwasyon ni Nick. Kasi kapag sinabi niya kila Valeria at Cassandra yung nalaman niya tungkol kay Calvin ay siguradong hindi din naman siya paniniwalaan ng mga ito kasi kamping kampi sila masyado kay Calvin. Kapag ako umahon na sa kamay ng MMA, tutulungan ko talaga si Nick. Babayaran ko lahat ng itinulong niya sa akin.
Tinignan ko ang cellphone ni Nick. Kanino nga ba ako tatawag? Eh wala naman taong nag-aalala sa akin sa Pilipinas kasi nga ang akala nilang lahat ay okay lang ako at nag-aaral ako ng maayos sa ECB. Kapag ginulo ko sila mommy at daddy baka hindi lang yun maniwala sa akin. Si daddy kasi busy lagi yun sa Fortaleza Foods, kapag tumatawag naman ako dun ay sinasabi lang niya na iwanan ko nalang ng message yung executive assistant niya eh. Parang hindi niya anak yung tumatawag. Parang hindi naman ako kailanman minahal nun eh.
Kapag kay mommy naman, oo, sumasagot nga yun. Pero lagi ko kasing napapanigipan na si ‘Riri’ niya naman yung mas mahal niya eh. Edi magsama sila! Magsama sila sa impyerno! Go to hell together! I hate them both! All my life pinaplastic lang yata ako ni mommy tuwing sinasabi niya sa akin na maganda ako at mahal na mahal niya ako. Kasi now I know na si Riri pala ang mas mahal niya. Oo nga at panaginip lang yun, maaaring hindi totoo yun. Pero kahit na, nakakaramdam pa din ako. Tao pa din ako. And I know that she loves Riri more than she loves me. Napilitan lang siyang piliin ako kasi ako ang legal na anak.
Si Karen at Debbie? Yes, I could call them. But will they even believe me? Kung ang parents ko nga ay alam kong hindi ako paniniwalaan eh, friends ko pa kaya? Ay wait, friends ko pa nga ba sila? I guess friends na yata sila ni Ynna. I am left with no one. I am alone. Kapag may mga times na feeling ko alone ako at nag-iisa, I can always call on to Dave. But right now, he’s mad at me.
Yup, I can still remember how he was so disappointed nung sinabi ko sa kanya na I am choosing my dreams over him. He broke up with me. And now, sa mga panaginip ko, he is now chasing Ynna. How could I ever call him kung ganun? I am seriously doomed. Wala na akong kakampi. Pati yung huling taong alam kong magmamahal sa akin na si Dave, tinalikuran na rin ako. Mas gusto na nang mamatay nalang.
Pero hindi, tinulungan ako ni Calvin kaya kailangan ko rin siyang tulungan pabalik. Doon ko naalala ang isang taong may alam ng lahat ng nangyayari. Oo at inaapi ko siya minsan dahil pangit ang pagkakamake-up niya sa akin pero I have no choice, siya lang ang may alam ng current situation ko. Siya lang ang makakatulong sa akin. Siya ang kailangan kong maka-usap. Baka kapag naka-usap ko siya ay maliwanagan na ako sa magiging desisyon ko. I need to talk to Shibama.
I immediately dialed his number. Crazy, kasi naaalala ko pa pala every single digit of his phone number.
Calling Shibama Castro…
[Yes? Who’s this?] he answered.
“Shibby.”
[Huh? Who are you? Why are you calling me like that?]
“Shibby, this is me.”
[Huh? Are you my stalker? Midnight na ah! Stop calling me! Antok na me! Bukas na lang kita lalandiin okay? I’ll save your number so don’t you worry! Hihihi!]
“Shibama! This is me, Janina!” I already semi-shouted.
[W-What? Are you serious?] he asked in shock.
“Yes, I am serious. I am calling from New York.”
[J-Janina dear! Oh my God! I missed you! How are you? Are you doing okay there? Kumusta na ang shoots? Model ka na ba? Sikat ka na ba?]
“Uh… yeah.” I lied.
[I am so proud of you, girl!]
“Kayo? How are you there?”
[I am very fine in here. I already have a boyfriend. Hihi! I am so happy right now!]
“That’s a good thing. How about Alynna? Maayos ba ang pagpapanggap niya bilang ako?”
[Yup! She’s very great! Lahat halos naniniwala na ikaw siya! At lagi ko siyang inaayusan the way na inaayusan kita kaya there is no sign talaga na she’s not you!]
“Nice…”
[Shibs! Grabe! Kinikilig talaga ako! Ang sweet sweet ni Sky! Grabe! Ang saya saya ko giiiiirrl!] I heard a girl’s voice on Shibby’s line. Who could that be?
“Who’s that?” I asked.
[Ah. Yun ba? It’s Ynna! Hahaha! We are having fun in here. May mini party kasi dito. Ang kulit niya nga e. Pagpasensyahan mo na ha!]
“I see.”
[You should come join us when you come back. Masaya dito. It was never this lively before Ynna came. She’s a good friend. I know that you’ll be good friends with your sister when you come back.]
“I don’t think so.”
[Janina, she’s kind. She’s sweet. She’s very beautifu---] I cut him. I'm getting annoyed. Why is he praising her like that?
“I want you to stay away from her. Don’t treat her as a friend. Treat her as a toy. We are just using her because we need her.”
[J-Janina? What are you talking about? Are you sick?]
“I’m not. I am commanding you to stay away from Ynna. Just do your job to her but don’t be friends with her.”
[I-I can’t do that, Janina. Napamahal na ako kay Ynna eh.]
“Shit!” I shouted.
[Janina, we can talk about this. I can formally introduce you to each other. I swear she's kind and nice!]
“I don’t want to talk! I want you to stay away from her!” I shouted.
[Janina, you are just tired…]
“Yes! I am so tired of my life! I am so tired of everyone being on Alynna’s side! I am so tired of her being the best and me being just the next! I am so fucking tired!”
[J-Janina, you are not the second best… It’s just that--] I cut him again.
“I am your real boss, right? You should follow my commands. In here I will test your loyalty to me, Shibby. Will you stay away from Alynna or not? One question, one answer!”
[Janina… Don't do this to me. Don't make me choose.]
“Answer me!!!!” I’m already crying so hard.
[I’m sorry Janina. I can’t stay away from her.]
And just like that, binaba ko na yung linya. Alam ko na dahil naramdaman ko na na yun nga yung isasagot niya. Pati ba naman si Shibama inagaw na sa akin nung babaeng yun? Ano pa ba ang gusto niyang agawin sa akin? Yung buhay ko? Hayup siya! Kinamumuhian ko siya ng sobra sobra! Gagantihan ko siya! Gusto ko siyang bumagsak! Gusto ko siyang mawala na sa mundo! Siya ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko ngayon! Kailangan niyang magbayad!
I hurriedly dialed Nick’s number.
Calling Nick Murray…
He answered on the first ring.
[What’s your decision?] he asked immediately.
“Help me escape.” I said angrily.
[Okay. Wait for a minute, I’ll be there.]
***
Pagkatapos nga ng isang minute ay dumating na nga si Nick. On time talaga siya. Kaya ayun, naabutan pa rin niya akong umiiyak.
“What happened? Who did you call?” he asked.
“My make-up artist.”
“I see.”
“He’s not at my side anymore.” Hindi ko na napigilan ang luha ko nung sinabi ko ito.
Nagulat ako nang bigla akong yakapin ni Nick. Walang halong bastos. He just wants to comfort me. I don’t know why is he doing this but I felt safe and I liked it. I remembered Dave.
“Are you sure that you really want to escape this time?” he asked.
“Yes. There is no turning back.”
“Okay. Here’s the plan. My mom and Cassy is going to the cemetery today because it’s November 1. They will go to my dad’s tomb. All the other guards are on leave too. I can command all the staffs to get rid of you. That is when I will get you out of this stockroom.”
“W-Where are you going to take me then?”
“I have already fixed your flight back to your country.” He laughed a little while saying this.
“What?! How did you do that? You don’t even have my passport.”
“We have connections.”
“You don’t even know my decision when you came in…”
“I knew you were going back. I just felt it.”
“But…”
“No buts, Janina, it’s now or never.”
“But Nick, how about you? Are you not going to the cemetery too? What if they look for you? What will you say? What will your excuse be?”
“Stop being so worried for me, Janina. Only for this moment, just think of yourself and how you’re going to escape.”
“But Nick, I can’t leave you alone like this…”
“I already told my mom that I have already visited dad yesterday, October 31. So don’t you worry about me. I am a guy. I am strong enough to take care of myself. And they are my family. They won’t harm me the way they harmed you.”
“O-Okay.” I said nervously.
“So let’s go to the airport? We are running out of time, Janina. They might come back anytime soon.”
“Oh. Sure. Let’s go.”
Sinakay ako ni Nick sa kotse niya at pinaandar niya ito papunta sa airport. Unbelievable. Talagang naayos na pala niya yung requirements sa pagbabalik ko sa Philippines. Am I that predictable na babalik na ako? Siguro nga that I am very readable.
Pero grabe, ang tindi rin ng connections nila. Sa bagay, they are the top modeling agency nga pala sa New York. Of course, they should have a lot of connections. And I am happy that he’s using this airport connection just to save a no-one like me. I really owe Nick a lot. I will come back for him. I promise. I will pay him all of his help to me.
“Nick..” I started.
“Hmm?” he said while driving.
“What went into your mind---Umm… No, I mean, why are you helping me?”
“I am helping you AND my family. It’s just like hitting two birds at one arrow.”
“You deserve a halo then.” I joked.
“Ha. Ha.”
“But seriously, thanks Nick. I owe you my another 6 months of being raped.”
He just smiled sweetly at me and drove silently after that.
When we reached the airport, hinatid niya ako hanggang sa doon na kami sa part kung saan sasakay na ako sa airplane. This is the last time that I’ll be seeing Nick’s face for this year. He is the only person who helped me. I didn’t know what got in to me but before I went to the plane, I ran to Nick and hugged him tight.
“Thank you, Nick. Thank you so much!” I cried.
“Don’t thank me. Thank yourself. Be strong, Janina. Be a lot better than who you are today. You deserve to live a beautiful life.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Promise me you’ll fix your life.”
“I promise.”
“Goodluck, then.” He said as he waved his hand goodbye.
“Thank you!” I shouted one last time before I turned my back on him.
Nang tumalikod ako sa kanya, buo na ang loob ko. Buo na ang loob ko na gaganti ako sa lahat ng taong nang-iwan sa akin sa ere. At gaganti ako sa taong naging pinakadahilan ng paghihirap ko. Gagantihan kita, Alynna Paredes. Humanda ka sa pagbabalik ko. Humanda ka na sa mga pasabog ko para sa iyo pagbalik ko sa Pilipinas.
Napaaga yata ang balik ko. Ang sinabi ko kasi kay Alynna noon ay isang taon akong mawawala at isang taon din siyang magpapanggap bilang ako. Well, I guess I am wrong. Kasi maaga ang balik ko. Maaga ang magiging surprise ko sa kanya. Siguradong magugulat siya sa pagbabalik ko. This will be the biggest surprise of her life.
Yup, susurpresahin ko talaga siya. Dahil babalik ako para kunin ang lahat ng inagaw niya sa akin. Tama na ang anim na buwan na nagpakasasa siya ng mga bagay na para naman talaga sa akin. Oras na para bumalik na siya kung saan siya nararapat. Oras na pala ibalik siya sa basurang pinaggalingan niya.
Because come hell or high water, I will go back to the Philippines and I will get back what is originally... MINE.
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