Chapter 14: Some Truth
All her life, Nessa had felt alone. That lonely depressing feeling, urging her to make contact. To make friends.
She had giving in to that feeling multiple times, but it never ended well. She was a black girl in England. There was no way she could fit in with all the racism.
Over time, she grew accustomed to that feeling of loneliness. The feeling that only disappeared whenever she was with her family. But now after many years, more than ever, Nessa struggled to fight back that primal need for socialization.
As she walked a few paces behind Professor Avery, a barrage of questions flooded Nessa's mind, threatening to give her a headache if she couldn't provide answers.
'What the hell just happened?'
'Did I just lose?'
'How had Stephanie formed a fireball so fast?'
'How can I freaking feel pain?'
She followed as Professor Avery rounded a corner and led the way up a stairwell. The Professor hadn't uttered as much as a word, and Nessa was starting to feel uncomfortable.
She could only listen to the echoes of her boots as they trudged along the Academy's corridors, hoping the sound would some how drown away the questions that lingered in her mind.
Moments later they stopped at what seemed to be Professor Avery's office door. She slid a keycard and then the door opened automatically, closing when Nessa had completely entered the office.
Professor Avery went to her usual seat. For minutes, or even days, no one said anything. The silence only magnified the feeling of disappointment emanating from Professor Avery.
Finally someone spoke.
"What were you thinking?"
"I...I..." Nessa stuttered. She didn't have to explain herself to the Professor. She shouldn't even be feeling this way, not when she shouldn't even care what the Professor thought of her. But as she looked in the Professor's eyes, the disappointment that burned behind them seemed to tie her tongue.
The Professor sighed. "I know I don't have the right, but I'm disappointed in you Nessa."
Nessa looked the Professor in the eye, successfully putting up the façade of the usual uncaring girl.
"I can't believe you accepted a challenge and then you lost."
That broke it.
"That's why you're disappointed in me?" Nessa asked. "I thought it would be 'cause I almost destroyed the great Hall, due to my weakness."
"You're not weak Nessa." The Professor smiled sadly. "You're just..." alone.
"I'm just what?" Nessa asked.
"Never mind that. I don't care that you couldn't control your magic. It's my fault for not training you earlie. But then again, you lost..."
"I didn't lose," Nessa defended. "The crowd didn't judge."
"Alright, be the judge."
Nessa frowned. The Professor was right, she had lost. She was weak, weaker than she thought. She had believed the fact that she had an orange cursor made her have a certain advantage over any other person. How clearly wrong she was.
When Nessa didn't say anything, the Professor continued.
"Nessa, I'm not disappointed in you because you lost. I am disappointed because you made a very common mistake. Underestimating your opponent.
"You thought because you had a higher cursor level, it meant you were stronger." The Professor shook her head. "The sooner you understand that this isn't a game, the sooner you find yourself getting stronger."
Nessa bit her lower lip and stared at the ground. When she had accepted Professor Avery's offer of training, she had only done so to make the Professor let her guard down.
She was never going to trust her, but now, with the Professor sounding like she really cared about her, Nessa was second guessing.
'No,' she thought to herself. 'No one cares about you, other than you and Luka. Be smart, always remember that.'
"I'm sorry," Nessa bowed slightly, employing the most regretful voice she could muster. "You're right, I underestimated Stephanie. It would never happen again."
The Professor smiled seemingly satisfied before saying. "Very well." Then her eyes narrowed. "I noticed something during the fight. When Stephanie landed a hit on you, you wheezed like you were in pain."
"Because I was." Nessa said immediately. "I thought I wasn't supposed to feel..."
"I thought so too," the Professor scraped her chin. "But what if…"
The Professor stood and seconds later, a knife appeared in her hands. Without hesitating, she moved the blade across her palm.
To Nessa's surprise, blood oozed from the cut along the path the blade had created. It moved as if it was trying to remind Nessa that this was the first time she was seeing that dark red color in this world.
Professor Avery frowned. "I suspected as much."
"What?" Nessa asked. "Does it hurt?"
"Yes, but not as much as it is supposed to."
"But why?"
The Professor shrugged. "There's only one explanation." A long pause. "Maybe the rules to this game aren't set in stone like I thought."
Nessa was confused. "I thought you were the one who made the rules."
Professor Avery smiled apologetically. "You really think I'm the creator of this world?"
Up until now, Nessa had thought exactly that. Who else could she have blamed other than the person who had caused her to be here. Other than the person who had torn her away from her family.
But hearing the Professor ask the question with that look on her face, Nessa was starting to have doubts.
"Yes," she eventually said. "I believe you are the reason I'm here. I believe you are the reason Luka is here. I believe you're the reason this world even exists."
"I'm sorry Nessa," The Professor inhaled. "Yes I'm the reason you're here, and I had a good reason for doing that—"
"Why?"
"—But, I'm not the entire reason this world exists." The Professor closed her eyes. "I believed his vision, but I soon discovered his methods were wrong."
The Professor chuckled. A forced one that seemed to be on the brink of tears.
"A little too late obviously," The Professor continued. "I'm simply a pawn in his hands."
"Whose hands?" Nessa asked, starting to feel uncomfortable.
If Professor Avery was telling the truth, and she wasn't the creator of this world, then it meant Nessa was a piece even far more useless than a pawn.
"I can't tell you. He forbids it."
"Who?" Nessa asked again.
"I said I can't tell you."
The Professor's voice was filled with venom but her face showed no sign of anger. Only sadness and regret.
Nessa sat down opposite Professor Avery, tired of waiting for an invitation. The Professor seemed like she was going to scold Nessa but then she said.
"Even if I wanted to tell, I can't."
"So why the," Nessa held her tongue. "So why did you even go through the trouble of bringing me to this world."
Professor Avery just stared at Nessa. An inferno of emotions burning behind her eyes. Just when she opened her mouth and Nessa thought she was going to speak, she closed it. Two more times this happened, before the Professor finally said.
"You just have to trust me."
'That's it?' Nessa wanted to yell. 'Trust you when you're the reason I'm here in the first place.' but she held herself.
She instinctively turned to the portrait that hung on Professor Avery's wall. The one where she had received an award.
She wanted to trust the Professor. To believe she had a good reason for making her go through all this but If anything, she was sure that the moment she did, she would regret it. She couldn't trust the Professor Avery.
The Professor was acting so shady only an idiot would do so. But then,
'No, Nessa.' She scolded herself. 'Be smart.'
"I guess I just have to trust you--" Nessa said smoothly.
A glint in the Professor's eyes. She was surprisingly happy that Nessa seemed to trust her.
"--for now." Nessa added, bursting whatever bubble of joy that had briefly floated inside the Professor's heart.
"I guess that's the best deal I could get." The Professor shrugged.
"Wait," Nessa was still not satisfied. "What did you mean when you said the rules may not be set in stone?"
"Nessa by now, you should already know that I'm not in charge of this world. However, I can tell you those in charge are willing to make this world as realistic as a fantasy world could get."
Nessa's eyes shone with understanding. "Meaning,"
"Meaning, the rules are changing. I only assume that they reduced the system's pain absorber to the level where you feel a pain similar to the one you'd feel if you were in the real world."
"But that's not fair, without a warning..."
"They don't care. I assure you they don't. What I'm sure about is, they would whatever it takes to achieve their goal."
"What is their goal exactly?" Nessa asked. She had figured building a fantasy world couldn't be a motive enough to trap five thousand people in a game.
"You mean aside from building a realistic fantasy world?" The Professor pursed her lips. "I can't say that either."
'Urgh,' Nessa yelled within herself and it took quite an effort not to actually yell. Professor Avery must have noticed because she said.
"I'm sorry Nessa. I really am. Maybe someday you would understand why. Why I can't tell you everything now."
Nessa nodded. The Professor had made it clear she wasn't planning to say anything, at least not yet. So she kicked back her chair and made to leave. There was no use wasting time here.
If what the Professor had said was true, it meant that it's possible the Academy wasn't even a safe zone anymore. If anything, she had to warn Luka.
For a split second, she wished there was someone else she cared about; someone else who cared about her besides her own family. But as quickly as it came, Nessa suppressed it.
'There is no time for wistful thinking.' She thought to herself.
"Wait," the Professor called out when Nessa was halfway to the door. "I didn't say you could leave--"
Nessa frowned, turning around
"--But no matter. Meet me tomorrow. We'd have to begin your—"
The Professor paused. A furious glint in her eyes.
"—whoever is behind the door, I give you five seconds to open the door and walk in."
What?
Nessa turned back and stared at the door, silently wondering if the Professor had gone crazy. Moments later, the office door opened and Nessa saw her green eyes first, before her blonde hair and peculiar dressing style.
Nessa stared surprised, until Professor Avery broke the silence.
"So Stephanie," The Professor forced a smile. "Would you mind explaining why you were eaves dropping?"
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