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19.04% Starting Life From Another Choice Than Zero / Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Starting Life

Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - Starting Life

"Subaru!"

A loud, high-pitched shout of absolute joy greeted a stunned Subaru standing at the doorway. Immediately followed by a rough embrace of his legs from a small little girl wearing a bright blue dress, no older than five or six; her small beady eyes set on no one but his own, a wide smile plastered cheerfully across her face.

"Oh-ho! Helen-chan! Good to see you again! Missed me?" Said Subaru, a little more cheerful than usual as he threw a look of clarification at Kris who was standing right beside him.

Kris nodded his head in approval.

"Missing you is an understatement. Helen over here was so heartbroken when you left last night." Came a voice drawing near.

Walking towards them was a woman, her brown hair tied loosely into a ponytail, a gentle face with bright eyes and a warm smile came to greet them, casting her daughter a look of amusement.

"Really, I don't know how she grew so fond of you in just two weeks."

And as if to reaffirm her mother's words, Helen tighten her hold onto Subaru's legs and nodded her head vigorously.

"What can I say? Kids love me. Not in a weird way though, don't get the wrong idea now." Subaru said, giving a short laugh as he rub the back of his head.

The woman gave a smile, then turned towards her husband.

"So where did you find our little runaway?" She asked.

"In the city. It's a miracle I even bumped into him with all the people over there nowadays." Kris replied. "He's hungry by the way." He added, upon seeing Subaru's wanting expression.

"Well, I'm pretty sure there's something I could fix up for his pleading stomach. Subaru looks ready to drop dead any second." She remarked, throwing a quick glance at Subaru. "You guys lingered on the doorway long enough, come in, come."

They stepped over the doorway and entered the house Subaru was more than eager to explore after finding out he had taken residency in one of the rooms.

In between leaving the gigantic metropolis that was the city of Kararagi, clambering back onto Kris' carriage, and embarking again onto another journey across the land, Subaru had been made aware of multiple things. He found out that he had become rather close with Kris during their time together on the road to Kararagi. Learned that he had a wife, by the name of Stephanie, a daughter named Helen , and that they all lived together in a village, a short distance away from the city, in a simple, compact, double storey home.

"Where did you go last night?" Was the first question Kris asked of him.

"Well that..." Subaru muttered, heavily debating in his head whether or not he should confess that he had no memory of the past four weeks prior to meeting him again in the city.

"Will the witch come for me again if I tell him this?" He said to himself. Then, horrified by the thought of the possible outcome, decided not to risk it. The memory of his last confession still freshly, morbidly vivid in his head.

"You said something about needing to hide that sack you were carrying around." Kris continued, watching Subaru's unreadable expression.

"Oh..." Said Subaru after a while, caught unaware by this piece of information. "Just needed to dispose of some stuff, nothing serious, don't worry about it." He made up.

Kris seemed content enough by his answer, shrugging his shoulders and diverting his attention back to the road.

So he was carrying around a sack last night.... Could it possibly be inside the aged old house he woke in?

The questions left unanswered, unspoken, kept a constant lingering presence in his head, unable to think of anything else. He recalled back to the point where everything went haywire: slumbering peacefully at the back of the carriage. What could have possibly happen there that could have made him lose his memories? He was missing a month, more than a month in fact, if he hadn't return by death. Thinking about the man in the sewer only served as a reminder that he had stolen something, or will be stealing something in the future, a metia.

Was that what was in the sack, the metia? If so, why did he steal it?

"So, how's your phone?"

Subaru sat bolt upright at the passenger seat, thinking he hadn't heard right. Blinking, he slowly turned to face Kris, giving the most innocent look he could manage and spoke.

"P-phone?"

"Your phone. The metia... Isn't that what you called it? A phone?"

"You knew I had it?" Stammered a disbelieving Subaru, pulling the device out of his tracksuit.

"Course I did. I gave it back to you, remember? I haven't seen it in a while. You usually walk around with it in hand all day long." Kris said, watching Subaru fiddle around with the buttons.

"I do? Why?" He asked, perplexed at the very eccentric actions his past self have been doing.

"I don't know, it's your metia. Really though, all this questions.... Lost your memories or something?"

Subaru's lips tighten, then began to tremble, the temptation of nodding his head, saying that one word. Slowly, he forced himself to laugh at the remark and gave a very short, very hard answer. "No".

-------

"That was delicious, Stephanie."

Subaru sank in his chair, smacking his lips at the flavorful aftertaste of what was a satisfying lunch. The large portions in his plate reduced to mere remnants of chicken, its bones stripped clean of flesh with bits of mash potatoes left lying around. He took a large sip of juice and leaned back again, exhaling loudly.

Across from the table sat Stephanie, who was positively beaming at the sight of Subaru's contentment.

"What happened to Steph-chan? You used to call me that all the time." She said, feigning a sadness she was far from feeling.

"D-Did I?" Croaked Subaru, suppressing a burp with a fist. "Slip of a tongue, sorry bout that, won't happen again, Steph-chan." He smiled, pointing at her and emphasizing her nickname with a wink.

Stephanie smiled back in return.

"There's that grin that was missing from your face. I thought you lost it last night."

"Why's that?" Inquired Subaru, wiping his mouth with his sleeves.

"Came downstairs with a fearful look in your eyes. Very unsettling, we thought you've been found by the ones chasing you." She explained, standing up to clear his plate.

"Everything seems to revolve around what I did last night." Subaru thought as Stephanie added his plate to the pile in the basin. "Just my luck that I don't remember."

"You not going to ask what happened last night?" He queried, noticing the lack of an interrogation all throughout his meal.

"If you aren't telling me about it, then I supposed it is something you rather keep secret. Kris is the nosy one. I tend to respect other people's business." She simply said. "They'll probably be here anytime now." She added, wiping her wet hands on her apron and looking out towards the front door.

"Look, why not just tell me what they have in store for me?" Suggested Subaru.

"Nope, a surprise is a surprise. And Helen couldn't sit still in one place waiting for you to come back and show it to you. Besides, I promised her."

Subaru gave a sigh, smiling, and leaned out of his sit, craning his neck to look at the front door.

While he was eating his lunch, Kris and Helen left the house, with Helen wearing the most mischievous look on her face. When Subaru inquired an explanation for her behavior, Kris gave him a slight smile and said "You'll see." before shutting the door close behind them. They've been gone for a little more than fifteen minutes now.

"Will I flee for my life at the sight of it?" He asked.

"Nope." She assured.

"Will it possibly have any risk to my health?" He asked again.

"Hopefully not." She said.

"Will I die?" He grimaced.

"Sounds impossible." She snorted.

"You're still not gonna tell me?" He asked.

"If I did, I'd have to kill you and myself for breaking a promise to my daughter." She simply said with a smile.

"I see." Finished Subaru and said no more.

A few minutes after that, shuffling sounds were heard behind the front door, long vertical shadows filtering through the gap underneath it, before finally swinging wide open, the small scampering of feet reaching the kitchen with haste and out came Helen behind a wall, proclaiming excitedly. "We're back!"

She then turned her gleeful face towards Subaru looking ready to burst open with excitement.

"And guess who we brought along?" She shouted, not waiting for an answer. "Emilia!"

It was clear from the moment the name left her lips that this was something she expected him to be happy about, her bright eyes glowing with anticipation for his reaction. But all Subaru could manage was a slight choking noise as he spat out a sip he just took.

"Em-Emilia?" He said with a strangled whisper, turning towards Stephanie sitting across from him, as if hoping she'd say the contrary.

"Mmm-hmmm. Told you it was a good one." She said, mistaking his stunned silence for confusion rather than horror. "You kept going on about how much you wanted to see her again, so Helen and I took the time to find her for you."

"I spotted her." Said a pleased looking Helen, jumping into her mother's arms. "Dad is bringing her here right now."

"Right now?"

He gave one last look of incredulity at the mother and daughter, before fixing his eyes towards the entrance to the kitchen. Instantly finding it much harder to breath.

"Emilia's alive? How? Wasn't the village and mansion going to be attacked by the witch cult? Did she survive somehow?" Were among the rapid murmuring happening in his head.

Subaru felt a twinge of hope mix in with the array of emotion dashing through him as he waited with bated breath for a glimpse of her silver white hair, the smile he had grown so much to love, those eyes that soothed his soul appear with a shine through the hallway. The very notion of it, unbelievable yet truer than life.... Emilia was alive.

What would her reaction be, seeing him after all those weeks of silence? Angry, perhaps. Maybe a bit remorseful, especially after their last encounter... She might have blamed herself for his running away. He was about to find out...

Footsteps were nearing the kitchen, light, slow steps; the ones Emilia used to take--- Subaru stared, unblinking--- The two watching his expression with absolute glee--- shadows casted on the wooden floorboards, moving, bigger now--- any second they would appear out the wall and be standing at the doorway of the kitchen--- what should he say to her? How should he apologize?

Then, there stood Kris, greeting his family with a nod of the head and eventually meeting Subaru's piercing, befuddled eyes. He waited for a second or two.... But no Emilia... Instead, in Kris' arms, cradling with such care, was a small little clump of snow, or so Subaru thought, until the clump gently rose and sank again, breathing.

Subaru stared at it for a moment, everyone's eyes set on him. He didn't know how he was supposed to react to this. That wasn't Emilia.

"I suppose the shock left him loss for words." Giggled Stephanie. "Let him hold it."

And before Subaru could protest, he found in his arms, a warm soft sensation tingling through his sleeves. It was light, very light. Like carrying a fluff of cloud. He looked down at it. Its ears perked upwards, and rose its curious head. It's sleepy aquatic blue eyes meeting Subaru's own.

"Pet it." Whispered Helen.

With one hand, Subaru softly caress its head, its ears shook slightly, purring with delight. It gave a very squeaky 'meow', shifted itself in his arm, leaned against his chest and resumed its slumber, but not before Subaru caught a glint of gold hanging loosely around its neck. A leather collar was hidden deep amongst its furry white coat, with letters, inscribed in a coined-shape piece of painted gold, spelling out the name: "Emilia".

"Do you remember when Helen caught you muttering and crying in your sleep?" Asked Kris, smiling. "You kept calling out a name..."

"Emilia!" Piped Helen.

"And when she asked you who it was. You said it was a pet cat of yours that fell sick." Said Stephanie. "Told us that no matter what you did, you couldn't save her."

Subaru didn't know what to do or say, so kept his gaze lowered, watching it nuzzle affectionately against his chest.

"So, upon hearing that, Helen over here..." Kris turned and ruffled his daughter's head. "decided that she didn't like seeing you sad, and accompanied me to the city yesterday to pick out a kitten for you."

"Do you like it?" Asked Helen uncertainly, taking notice of Subaru's prolonged silence.

He looked up, stared at the family across from him. Kris, standing tall beside the chair that sat Stephanie, in her lap, Helen. All awaiting his response.

"I do." He managed to let out, forcing a smile. "I'm going to owe you till I die for this one, Helen-chan. It's awesome of you to do this."

In truth, he would have much preferred the real Emilia over this one. But that was impossible.

"She's dead." He told himself. "No one could have survive that onslaught." And instantly found his heart growing heavy.

"I know! How about we all play outside in the garden with Emilia?" Suggested Helen, jumping to her feet and racing towards the backdoor.

"Hmm? Ah, sure... why not?" Said Subaru, standing up with the cat still fast asleep in his hands. "How about we wait until it's--what?"

He diverted his gaze to the kitten for one second and when he looked up again, Helen had gone, the door parted open with the hot air blowing in.

"That's Helen for you..." Sighed Kris, walking towards the door. "Almost as fanatical as a demon."

Subaru made to exit after him, but turned back, realizing Stephanie hasn't risen out of her chair.

"You coming?" He asked.

She stood up, walking towards Subaru, her lips tightening, hands wriggling around each other timidly.

"Look..." She said, eyeing the little patch of snow in his arms. "I know this would never ever replace your Emilia. I tried to talk her out of it, tell her you wouldn't like to be reminded of your cat again, but she was just so determined to make you happy and-and try to understand she had the best of intentions presenting it to you. I understand if you're upset-I mean obviously you would be, but-but you can set it free if you don't want it, I'll just tell her it ran away in the middle of the night or it--"

"Woah, woah, woah, Steph-chan. Breathe." Interjected Subaru in the midst of her rambling. "I like it, you got it? I'm not throwing a gift from her, especially if that gift has the name 'Emilia' written on top of it. I'd rather keep it close to me and never let go, while rubbing my face against it while softly singing a song about how much I lov... Well, you get the idea."

Hearing that, Stephanie's nervous expression soften. After a deep breath, she was smiling again.

"Well... Just so you understand. If you had said 'no' right then and there, you'd be no longer welcome in my domain. Be sure to tread carefully alright? Now come, They're probably waiting for us."

The rest of the day was spent outside, under the gaze of the blistering sun. But none of them neither noticed nor cared of the scorching heat, as they ran around with strings attached to their ankles, the cat having awoken from its slumber giving chase, tripping occasionally on its small little legs. Then laughed, watching the kitten try with great effort to chase a little red ribbon Helen tied around its tail.

Subaru in particular, was enjoying himself immensely, being the one to suggest a quick game of hide and seek in the village, which took all evening, considering the vast open space of everything and due to the fact that Stephanie, being the last one left, had hidden herself in another person's residence.

By the time they've retreated back to the confines of their own home, the sun had nearly set, partly hidden beyond a road far off in the distance. Together they watched the sunset, from wooden chairs beneath the porch, with a drink in hand, talking, laughing, till their voice grew hoarse.

And in that one moment of peace and amity, in between Helen falling asleep on Kris's lap who also dozed off and wishing goodnight to Stephanie as she half pulled, half dragged them up to bed, Subaru felt, as the stars painted the night sky, all his worries and all the tension he carried with him from Lugunica vanish away, along with his energy, playing with the family all day. Maybe he really could start a life here... with them.

"Supposed its time for a shut-eye." Said Subaru, stifling a yawn behind a clasped hand.

Getting up, he gently picked Emilia up from an armchair and entered the house, treading lightly up the stairs so as to not wake the others.

"The room at the furthest end of the corner, they said." He muttered, reaching the second floor and scanning for the door to his room.

"That must be it."

Walking, humming happily to himself, ready to embrace the comforts of his bedroom, he twisted the door opened. He stared, for the longest time possible, and stopped humming.

At first, he thought he must have entered the wrong room, then realized it'd be impossible for this room to even exist here, the scale of it larger than that of the very house he's currently residing. Bookshelves after bookshelves lining along the hard granite checker-patterned floor, occupying every inch of space possible. A dim light shining dully from an unknown source.

This was all too familiar...

In the middle of this recognizable view, sat a young girl with a frilly dress. Her creamy colored hair tied elegantly into two curls, falling along with the length of her small figure stopping only at her waist. Her eyes, which bore distinct looking pupils, gazing ever so inattentively at a book laid open on her lap.

"B-Beatrice?" Sputtered Subaru in a high-pitched voice that surely wasn't his.

Without even looking up, with a voice that lacked all enthusiasm, she spoke.

"Finally, I was getting tired of waiting for you, I suppose."

"What are you--Why am I--How are you alive?" Subaru asked incredulously, stepping deeper into the library of Roswaal's mansion, his hands falling to the side, Emilia landing on the floor, scampering off behind a bookcase.

Beatrice gave a snort, closing her book shut.

"What kind of question is that, I suppose?" She said. "Never mind, did you bring the.... Where's all the stuff?"

Her eyes scanned Subaru's stunted figure, before finally allowing herself the conclusion that he had not brought anything with him.

"I cannot believe this." She fumed. "You're even more unreliable than I thought, don't you have any brains?"

Subaru also couldn't believe this. Here he was, back in Roswaal's mansion through a door in a country that was miles and miles away from here, being chided off by Beatrice for some unknown reason. Everything felt like a dream, maybe he was already sleeping.

"Fool... Do you not want to go back, I suppose?" She asked, scowling.

"Go... Go back?" Subaru managed to utter. "Back? Back to the mansion? No... I-I can't... Not after... Not after..." He stopped short, the thought too horrifying to speak out.

Meanwhile Beatrice gave a look, apparently bemused by his behavior.

"I should rephrase that, I suppose." She muttered, then stared at Subaru dead in the eye. "Do you not want to go back to your own world?


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