Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Daily life
All the world needs is me. I got my values... So you can keep yours, all right?
This world of ours sure is cruel and beautiful. Things aren't that simple that you can truly be naive to believe that hard work will be enough to get us where we wanted. It is scary when you know you can fail and be disappointed from failing your expectations we aren't perfect that we can live without them although it will be easier to just go with the flow in other words follow the rules. If you don't expect anything you won't be hurt but can it truly be called living.
Living is not about being alive going through motions as we continue to walk towards death but the act of leaving our own mark in this world don't do things just for the sake of it although life is inherently meaningless it is about how we give it meaning and become unique although everyone is the same and nothing is new under the sun.
I won't call myself a social person not that it really matters in the grand scheme of things personally I majored in educ in my last life because both of my parents are teachers but not this time as I realized it isn't for me and didn't really worked out as I don't really know what I want to become and study for the sake of it by the time I went to college after taking an entrance exam I didn't really expect to pass but I did anyway it was an online class for starters and for those who didn't know it was during the COVID pandemic unfortunately I didn't really get to finish my first year both because of change and my health problems becoming more obvious during my senior high school years where I also started losing interest in the world so I am glad for my second chance.
The world is another word for everything that matters this time I will find the world and this I will make sure of it that I don't lose it again
So I should just enjoy my life moving at my own pace even if it would not be picture perfect without regrets and rather selfish because this is the way I want to live my life becoming content with what I can do and not trying to push myself too hard on useless stuff like working too hard and enjoying my time reading manga and novels while also watching anime as I have the capital for this kind of behavior I didn't get to re-start just to be so serious and waste it avoid comparison and never hesitate to ask for help
A simple and successful life is all I really wanted in addition to being happy. I wish that this is this kind of days would last even though it's impossible just like your classic slice of life kind of thing while certainly not the most exciting or boring it just the way I like it nothing over the top happening besides putting more effect and living in the moment this time around I wouldn't become a chess player and representative of our school even though my dad is the coach and my older brother who joined as although I'm rather skilled I didn't really enjoy it and I'm more into yu-gi-oh which I didn't buy as I have no money to spare and primally played online considering there aren't many duelist in my area and they are far from home loved the anime so saving up to buy them in future which is a pity even though I might never have the chance to use them in this life of mine
It is human nature to endlessly run through thoughts such as, ``If only I had done that at that time.''
Even more so if it was something that could have been done easily if done. Regression isn't as straightforward as most people thought even more so as a different gender especially the nuances
You know I've been wondering and thinking what I really wanted a simple and happy life while may seem simple is surprisingly hard to understand as it vary from person to person at some point I wanted to disappear not to die or something like that but fadeaway and disappear without a trace it's not that I have no desires but that I don't see the point of living life and making choices people aren't perfect different and same something inherently contradictory
When I become a girl nothing really change at its core at all I'm still human but the details and perspective as well as the way people view me change I'm just living life for what it is we were never really normal as everything is relative so being ordinary sound good for me doing ordinary stuff like studying and going to school. Ultimately I will be a different person from who I once was even more so as I live but this is life
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