Chapter 6: little white lies
Realizing I was turning white knuckled, I let the tailgate of his truck go from my crushing grasp. Acting was never a strong suit of mine because , as soon as I let go , I turned to face him and I stumbled. Damn it! Parker get ahold of yourself, I mentally corrected my behavior.
" Parker what's going on? You've acted wierd for weeks now. Have I done something? Jessie leaned over and extended his hand helping me up from the fall. I jumped up, dusted my Jean's off, and acted as though I had no idea what he was talking about.
" Nah man, I'm good ,promise! Alright, let's go eat , I'm starving" not making eye contact i slapped his shoulder and walked to the passenger side of the truck. My face and ears burned bright red The ride was quite , I couldn't find the words to say. I felt like an idiot. Was it ok to tell him? What if it ended the only real friendship I've had. My head hit the window and my eyes focused in the horizon. Great looks like its gonna rain. Just what this day needs.
I hadn't realized the truck had come to a stop, till Jessie reached over shaking my shoulder and calling my name.
"Parker, we're here . You good?"
"huh? oh yeah sorry kinda dozed off sorry."
"We can do this another time ya know."
" No, it's fine, really, I'm good."
" yeah?"
I nodded a few times, humiliated. We made our way into the diner that was located on the east side of town. Never knew this little hole in the wall was here till Jessie mentioned it a few days back. Its aways from the main drag of town ,so many of the newcomers to town don't know its here.It use to be an old grocery store from what he told me. A local family bought it and renovated the whole thing. I guess its managed to do just fine considering it's still up and running. Jessie swears it has the best Calzones in town.
We chose a booth in the back corner way from everyone. The lights were faded out yellow so the corner was dim. It was quite though, right now I needed that. My head hurt, and the ache in my stomach was not because of me being hungry.
Our waiter took our order and I slumped down in my seat. I'm just gonna go ahead and tell him. I'd rather he run now than we get closer and he bail on me.
I leaned onto the table prepared for the worst.
"Jessie, i...I need to tell you something"
"Parker, I know something has been off for a few days, even before today. Look I'm not here to judge you. I asked you for dinner because I wanted to talk to you as well."
"Really?" " Please go first" I was not ready to talk.
"I know you have been lying to me for a while now. Hiding something I don't know what. "
My eyes shifted from side to side my eyes lowered to the table top as I thought "oh god he saw right through me. Did he notice?? shit... shit... shit." Panic began to set in.
" Parker, you can't make eye contact with me anymore. You don't even act the same around me." He leaned closer to me grabbing my wrists . " It's because, I tried to kill myself isn't it? You dont want people seeing us together or want to be my friend any more, that's why you freeze up, stammer, and avoid looking at me. Tell me the truth! No more white lies! You at least owe me that much"!
I locked eyes with him, all the blood drained from my head. He has it all wrong...
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