Chapter 90: SIBLING'S PROBLEM
It's almost lunch time na. I'm still on my office right now.
I'm just thinking about things and even reminiscing some of my past.
"Spade" nagulat ako kasi biglang pumasok so Jenna without knocking.
"Jenna, couldn't you just knock before entering into my office?" me trying to be calm.
Instead of having an argument with me, lumapit siya sa akin with a sad face. I don't know, but I can feel rin na she's about to cry. Hindi kaya, alam na niya ang about sa sakit ko?
"hey, Jenna. Promise me that you will not cry in front of me"
Pero talagang matigas pa rin ang ulo ng kapatid ko, she started crying as if na I'll be dying right now.
"hey, what's your problem? please don't cry, you're looking ugly" I said.
"why are you like that Spade? balak mo pang itago sa akin ang about sa sakit mo"
Patuloy pa rin siya sa pag-iyak so I gently pat her head to console her.
"I'm still here okay? you don't need to overreact. I'm fine"
"no, you're not!" she said, still acting like a kid.
"Jenna, crying in front of me doesn't help okay? I swear, I will be fine"
"what if you're not? what if you'll leave like mom? what if you'll leave me like others? sino na ang matitira sa akin? bakit ba kayo ganyan?"
I offered her my handkerchief.
"then maybe....you should learn how to be mature enough Jenna. And always remember, I will not be forever by your side. So, ngayon pa lang..while I'm still here, I wanted to see you grow and mature as a person"
Mas lalo siyang umiyak sa sinabi ko kaya napangiti na lang ako sa kanya. Hindi ko na rin kasi alam kung paano ko siya papatahanin, and what I am seeing right now is Jenna na nine years old noon.
Bigyan ko kaya siya ng lollipop.
Siguro, mga ilang minuto rin bago siya tumahan. Pinanood ko na lang siya hanggang sa matapos na siya sa kanyang pag-iyak.
"well....I'm sorry Spade if I did that in front of you. Hindi na mauulit" tapos suminga siya sa panyo na ibinigay ko.
"just don't give it back to me" I said while smiling.
She just looked at me. Her face was still serious.
"so ano, tapos ka na sa drama mo dyan? Kumain na lang tayo sa labas and I'll treat you" I said to her.
Tumayo na ako at hinila siya so that we can take our lunch on some fancy restaurants. Usually kasi, our chefs here are just cooking my food everytime na nasa office ako. But now, I wanted to spend time with my sister. Medyo matagal na rin kasing hindi kami nagkakasabay sa pagkain.
Nagpahatid kami sa isang maganda and mamahaling restaurant. We ordered foods and desserts, I know naman rin na she's enjoying the food kasi kain lang siya ng kain this time.
"hey, just take it slowly okay? baka mabulunan ka" I said.
Because of what I said, sumunod naman siya sa sinabi ko.
"well, I've been planning to be out of the country this coming Christmas, do you want to go with me?" sabi ko sa kanya.
Hindi siya kumibo. Is she mad at me or something?
"hey, magsalita ka naman dyan. I brought you here so we can talk" sabi ko.
"Spade...I know that I've been a burden to you simula pa noong mga bata pa tayo. And I realized that you're right..I need to be matured enough kasi hindi na ako bata. So please, from now on, huwag mo na akong problemahin okay? I can take care of myself na naman. Alagaan mo na lang ang sarili mo"
Tapos nagpatuloy na ulit siya sa pagkain. While watching her, napangiti na lang ako. Ang lakas pala talaga niyang kumain noh? Haha.
"so, you mean, it will be okay for you if I'll find my happiness too?"
Napatigil siya sa pagkain then she looked at me.
"what do you mean?"
"what if I tell you na I am liking somebody, is it okay for you na hindi lang ikaw ang magiging babae sa buhay ko?"
Hindi siya nakasagot agad. Maybe, pinag-iisipan niya iyong mabuti.
"well, okay lang naman iyon sa akin as long as hindi ka masasaktan" her.
"wow! mukhang nagmamature ka na agad ah. Eh what if, sabihin ko sa iyo na si Aikka ang babaeng iyon?"
When I said it, napatayo siya bigla.
"Spade, seriously?!"
Nagtitinginan na ang mga tao sa amin kaya pilit ko siyang pinaupo.
"calm down okay" I said.
Hanggang ngayon, malaki pa rin talaga ang galit niya kay Aikka. Well, I understand her rin naman, kasi mahirap naman talaga ang mawalan ng minamahal. Lalo na kung 'yung taong iyon ang tanging nagpapasaya sa iyo.
Lawrence was her childhood crush. Simula noong Grade 5 siya until na he started courting my sister noong 1st year highschool kami, I saw great improvements from Jenna. Noon kasi, masyado siyang mailap sa mga tao since nagkaroon siya ng trauma when our mother was killed. But when she met Lawrence, natuto siyang ngumiti, tumawa at makipagsocialize sa ibang tao.
In simple words, Lawrence gave color to her life.
But everything changed when that car accident happened. Hindi naman niya sinisisi si Aikka for giving him a car kasi ang hindi alam ng lahat, the real reason why Lawrence got into an accident is because he tried to go to Aikka's house even if the weather is bad. Nagpaalam kasi si Lawrence kay Jenna about it kaya hindi siya pinayagan ng kapatid ko but he didn't listen, kasi nahihiya daw siya kay Aikka na hindi sumipot sa usapan nilang magkakaibigan. If it were not because of Aikka, asking him to go to her house, hindi sana maaksidente si Lawrence.
"Spade, are you out of your mind? so itatapon mo na lang ang 3 years nating mga pinaghirapan?" her na hindi na maipinta ang kanyang mukha.
"Ang gusto ko lang rin naman kasing mangyari is to start a new life. Ilang taon lang rin kasi tayo ng mangyari ang mga bagay na iyon and I'm sure naman na Aikka did not intend na madisgrasya si Lawrence. And she already suffered a lot. Maybe, ang kailangan mo lang talaga is magpatawad" when I said it. Mas lalong tumaas ang boses niya.
"naririnig mo ba ang sarili mo Spade? Di ba ikaw na rin ang nagsabi na may isang bagay ang hindi katanggap-tanggap for us and iyon ay ang salitang "sorry"? Sorry coming from those people who break our chance to be happy! Sorry from those people who have hurt us so bad!"
"Jenna, life is too short to hold some grudges. I just realized na bakit nating pipiliing maging malungkot kung may paraan naman para tayo ay sumaya? There's nothing wrong on being hurt by other people, there's nothing wrong for being sad because... those are part of life. Imagine, how boring our life is if we don't experience those things" I said.
"ang sabihin mo Spade, mas pinipili mo lang ang babaeng iyon kesa sa kapatid mo! Fine, magsama-sama kayong lahat! Iwan niyo na ako!" then she started to walk out.
I tried to follow her but nakasakay na siya ng taxi.
Jenna.
Hay! Sumisikip na naman ang dibdib ko because of what happened.
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