Synopsis
Spending a Semester studying abroad will always leave a mark on a person. Especially when you are confronted with more than just a different culture, as Laura experiences first hand when a simple hike in the Japanese alps leads her to encounters with Spirits and Monsters she never believed in.
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Honest review. The Good: While the school setting is common, people use it because it works. The characters felt unique from the chapters I've read so far, tropes are unavoidable I think. I will have to read more to get a better grasp of the magic, but it feels original and not like a typical wuxia leveling up scheme that I am tired of. The Bad: I had a hard time diving into this, but mainly because I personally wasn't feeling the story. The tense changes were off in a few of the chapters and the chapters themselves felt like they were copied and pasted from one single long story. This isn't a bad thing, but I felt like they needed to either be longer or have a more concrete start/finish.
Here's my genuine review of the work. It's well written so far,--currently in chapter 5--and although nothing seems to be happening yet by chapter 3, the story Daiki told the other two in chapter 2 speaks of a mystical occurence already happening near the university, which might be a promise of some future fantasy elements coming in. But therein lies my issue. By chapter 3, you're still in the middle of introducing your world's more mundane aspect and have your 3 characters going about daily tasks. This might just be personal tastes, but I would like to see something happen by chapter 3. Even chapter 1. First impressions last after all. At the very least, a hint of something extraordinary happening to these seemingly ordinary protagonists, maybe two white eyes staring at them from beyond the campus shadows or something like that (my example is lame. Sorry). It is a fantasy story after all. Of course, my concern gets remedied later on in the story but some people might find this too slow a burn to get into. Take this with a grain of salt as this is just be my personal preference. If this is more of a mystery novel then i guess it is fine the way it is. But even Dan Brown has at least one dead guy by the end of chapter 1. Now, I have a few comments grammar-wise. I hope you don't mind. It is what you asked of me. :) In general, the writing is solid with the descriptions clearly giving readers a vivid impression of the world Laura is in. Props for that. Although I have noticed some minor issues like no spaces between periods or a misspelling, none of these ruin the flow of the story. I did give a comment about sentence structure in chapter 2, but that's up to you to decide if it was helpful or not. One thing I do want to point out is that you have a very wide vocabulary with a lot of depth and that is clearly seen in you writing. Good job. Well, I'm certainly going to keep readin as it is getting intereting as you keep reading. I wish you the best of luck, author!
Add some lighthearted humor to the worries and the people of the real world blended with the mysteries of the japanese mythology and voila! You got this novel!
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If any staff who approached the author to get story contracted reads this, please see my four stories and if anyone is good enough to get contracted let me know so that i can constantly upload it, idk why im writing this here...