Chapter 35: Countdown to FanQuest
"You helped with my art, now it's my turn to help you. What do you need to get done before the show?"
The topic came up mid afternoon. After getting a ride from Tara, Rylee had complained about the ad on the radio that morning. "I can't believe it snuck up so fast! It was the worst reality check ever!"
FanQuest was only two weeks away and she felt unprepared. Since Evan was only a panelist he wasn't terribly worried, but having an artist alley table was much more involved.
Rylee continued to vent, "I have prints made, but I was going to finish some more stuff and maybe make a few original paintings. I just don't think I have time now."
Evan pulled a piece of paper out of his printer and started taking notes. "Do you have an inventory?"
"Not of finished products."
"Are there any items you needed to order?"
"I had some little cosmetic bags I sometimes sell, but you need like 3 months to order those." She rested her chin on her hand before face lit up, and she grinned at him. "We should watch for a sale though, it would be good merchandise for your comic!" She suggested.
Evan laughed, "We are focusing on your career this time. Don't let yourself get sidetracked."
"But I want to," Rylee insisted. She wiggled into his computer chair and pulled open the web browser. Getting to the site she ordered from, she showed him the options. "Your career matters to me as well. I spent all of that time helping, why wouldn't I want you to succeed going forward? Look, you can get reusable bags as well as the cosmetic ones. You already have a fan following so these products make sense for you."
Evan's eyes glimmered slightly with amusement, "If I agree to order some, will you focus on your own situation? What other things do you need to finish."
Rylee reluctantly considered his list, "I already have my displays ready, and keychains made from before. I really should just drag everything out to assess it."
"Were you always this disorganized about it?" Evan teased. She stuck her tongue out.
"No. Well, yes. I just did art because I enjoyed it. I never made a lot of money but it was so exciting when someone bought something I created." She looked guilty, chewing her lip. "Blake used to get upset about it a lot. He always felt like he was supporting us and I just did whatever I felt like."
Evan was quiet. This was the first time she brought up her X. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head, listening. "It's not a bad thing to enjoy what you do. And you aren't terrible at art, you just had a rough time getting started."
"I was engaged to him," Rylee sighed. After avoiding the topic for so long, everything was escaping at once. "Finances were part of my responsibility. We had a house and bills, and I didn't make enough doing art. I just didn't want to let go of it."
"You were in college, Ry. That is a lot of pressure to suddenly know what you want out of life. If he cared enough to want you to marry him he should have known that art is a part of who you are. Love isn't just a fast food menu. You don't get to pick what pieces are convenient. You just accept the person as they are and everything that goes with it." Evan turned the chair so she was facing him, one arm on either side of her. Rylee looked up at him, her long lashes wet with little tears now. "Hey, it's okay Ry. You can talk to me about it. What was it like when you were just following your dream?"
Rylee's eyes darted, and she scratched her arm nervously. "It was like I had been a broken compass for my entire life, and I was finally pointing in the right direction," she explained. She chewed her lip and got lost in the memories. "Some day's I couldn't get motivated to draw, and I struggled to meet deadlines. But when I got lost in a project, I felt alive. It could be midnight and I wouldn't feel tired."
He reached out and stroked her hair, letting her lean forward to rest against him. His expressions were soft, but he was bitter when he imagined she could be so happy, only to have someone take that away.
"Hopefully you will learn to be that way again. And right now, this event will help. You still have time. I know it feels daunting, but two weeks is plenty to work with. The real enemy isn't time, Rylee. It's your own doubt. You need to stop letting someone from the past control your future."
"You make it sound easy," she complained. He pulled away and grinned.
"Just because it sounds that way doesn't mean it will be. But I'm saying it's possible. I finish art for my backers each week regardless of how I feel. I just know how to force myself to move forward. And now you get to try!"
He spun the chair back to the computer and opened up an art canvas. Before she could argue, he placed the art tablet in front of her and handed her the pen. "Just focus on putting lines on the canvas. Don't stop even when it feels like nothing is working. Draw until you find a rhythm you can work with."
"Evan—"
"Draw! Pretend it's one of my comics, and we need it done tomorrow. I'll even leave the room so you can focus."
Rylee was tempted to argue, but he was gone before she had a chance. She was left staring at a blank canvas, disliking how daunting it felt. She scribbled on one layer after another, trying to get something usable. she felt like a baby horse learning to walk. When she drew people, the proportions were wrong. She drew animals and lacked a coherent path. Like many times before, she was left with endless images of Bandit covering the screen. At least her dog was cute...
"This isn't working," she groaned, rubbing her forehead in defeat. She put the pen down and glared at the monitoe, when something caught her eye.
There was an open browser with a familiar forum name. Rylee was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. She clicked the tab, and watched as the page opened up. The username made her feel dizzy with shock.
"Ry? You okay?"
Rylee turned, the words leaving her mouth with an unsteady waver, "You're RogueOwl."
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