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100% Utter Loathing / Chapter 6: Chapter 5: The truth (if you had sanity to begin with, you have lost it by now)

Chapter 6: Chapter 5: The truth (if you had sanity to begin with, you have lost it by now)

The truth is a rather delicate and tricky thing. If revealed too soon, one can suffer. One can also suffer if it is revealed too late. Sometimes, it is relieving and clarifying to know the truth, it is almost like opening your eyes for the first time in a long time, and seeing the sun cascading through the window and down the windowsill, forming a pool of light on the floor. But of course, that's only sometimes. Other times, the truth can be quite the opposite of the beautiful sight that I have just described. The truth can be ugly, terrifying, sad, and dark. In a way, revealing the truth, is just like opening up pandora's box. But in the end, no matter what terrible monsters come out of the truth, deep down, you will know, that you couldn't have lived without knowing. For no matter how much it will make you cry, doubt, hate, in the end, when you are taking your final breath, you want to be at peace, the kind of peace only knowing the whole truth can give you. But then of course, there are times when you will think you know the truth. Many people say that ignorance is bliss. I agree. Sometimes I close my eyes, and try to empty my mind of all of the painful truths that if have learned. Maybe, just maybe, if I squeeze my eyes closed tight enough, for just a split second, I can feel the gentle ignorance, cradling me in my cosy bed of lies. Ignorance isn't a lie, but it isn't the truth either. Ignorance is simply innocence, soft pure innocence, ready to be stained with the truth, or lies. And of course, once you know the truth, there is simply no turning back. You can remove lies with the truth, and although you can try and cover up the truth with lies, deep down it will always be there. Once you know the truth, you'll feel it, deep down in your heart forever. But yet, despite how terrible the truth is, people don't try and hide from it. Although many of us sometimes try and deny things, we don't actually start to do that until we have found the truth and are simply trying to cover it up with lies. Most of the time we are actually searching for the truth, for the human mind is a strange thing, constantly searching for the truth, even if it knows that it will bring pain. Curiosity is a curse and blessing, just like the truth.

The truth. Oh how long Smith had been waiting to hear that. If you ask me, I think that he should at least be a little bit more patient. It's always manerly to be patient with your involuntary hosts/kidnappers. Still, even with this rushing through his head, he was quiet. Instead he looked around at all of them. Beatrice looked a bit nervous, but still determined. Tey was staring daggers at him, he quickly looked away from her. He clearly valued his life. His eyes slid over to Landon. Ok he wasn't scary. He was just drinking coffee. All was silent for a moment,his eyes lingering on Beatrice who, it seemed, was the one who was going to talk. 

    Beatrice cleared her throat. "Uh-ok..um so...we...we aren't exactly, how to put this? Normal. We aren't normal." she finally stated, still kind of unsure of what to say. 

    Smith heard a weird snort/laugh sound and quickly looked over at Landon. "No kidding Beatrice no kidding," he mumbled, chuckling a bit. 

    "Excuse me?" exclaimed Beatrice, sounding a bit stern. 

    "Oh come on," groaned Landon. "What do you think he thinks? We kidnapped him for god's sake! Do normal people kidnap Malmart cashiers? I don't think so." 

    "We didn't kidnap him!" Beatrice said defensively. "We simply...temporary extracted him from society for the saftey of him and ourselves." 

    "Sounds like a glorified kidnapping to me." Landon grumbled. Did he need more coffee? 

    All of this bickering was making Smith a bit worried. However, what scared him way more than the heated argument between Beatrice and Landon, was Tey's complete and utter silence, as she stared off into space. Occasionally she would turn her head and glare at him, her eyes piercing his back so that he just knew that she was glaring. Smith honestly didn't think that he had ever met someone that scared him as much as she did, in his entire life. Even Landon, who was big and strong, wasn't even close to how scary she was. 

    "As much fun as listening to you bicker and whine is, I don't have all day." she declared calmly. 

    Beatrice sighed "alright, fine, you're right. Let's just explain what's going on to Smith." 

    Landon sighed, leaning back in his chair, he also seemed to be relieved that the argument was over. 

Beatrice looked over at Smith again, and soon, everyone was looking at him. "What...what I am trying to say is that...god is there even a correct word for us?" Beatrice continued. 

"Yeah, freaks." Tey stated half heartedly. Her eyes were closed and she looked bored. At least she wasn't glaring at him anymore. Again Landon looked like he wanted to argue, but he seemed to think twice about it, and ended up just being quite. 

    "With all due respect...I think you guys have been quite nice to me...considering that this is a kidnapping and all that." Smith reassured them. "But even with all that you have hid, I have still seam some strange things. So I guess what I am trying to say is...enough hiding what's going on. I know that you are trying to ease me into whatever you are going to tell me, but, I don't think I need that. Just...just say whatever the truth is. Say it straight up. I promise you that after all I have seen I am quite ready for it." 

    They all looked a little surprised, even Tey opened her eyes a bit to look at him. For the first time in this book, our coward for a main character, has spoken up for himself. I have to give him that at least. Of course, he still was being quite stupid, for he was assuming that he was ready for what they would tell him. He was assuming that he even knew a bit about what was going on. And he was assuming that Tey wouldn't punch him or something. Of course, only the last assumption was right,and that's only for the time being. 

    After a few more moments of silence Beatrice finally started to talk again. "Your right. We need to be fully honest. The answer we are going to give your though… it isn't very...believable. I just want to say this in advance. I am not lying by saying what I am going to say. I am not joking with you. I am 100% serious when I say this. Ok. here it goes. We are kinda, sorta…"

    What! What is she going to say!!! If you hate me by now for constantly interrupting with my monologues at exactly the most inconvenient moments...then I really don't blame you. Why am I doing this you might ask? Well, I suppose it's rather fun. The 'sticking your finger in your dog or cats mouth when they yawn so that they can't close their mouth' kinda fun. Except, when I do It, I am quite certain that I won't get bitten. Why? Well It's probably because I am not face to face with you and you are simply reading the words I, the narrator, have written. Then again, just because I assume that it won't happen, doesn't mean it won't. Nothing is impossible (except I am fairly certain that this is). 

    "Superheros." Beatrice finished. 

    'What. The. Heck.' was probably what Smith thought. I would think it was followed by something like this- '...'-Because his face went kinda blank with shock after a few seconds as it all sunk in. 

"Just get rid of the 'heros'." Tey grumbled. 

"And the 'Super', cause' I don't think that we look it or feel it." Landon added. "That would take all the coffee in the world." 

"Well I can't find a better word for what we are." Beatrice chided. 

"Dangerous," spat Tey. 

"Former lab rats," groaned Landon. 

"kidnappers,"Tey added. 

"Wanted," Landon stated. 

"Weird," Tey continued. 

"Kinda depressed," Landon sighed. 

"Assasins.. Well that ones just me." Tey corrected herself. 

"Not a million bucks...other than those prices over our heads" Landon finished. 

"Ok guys that's enough." Beatrice scolded, though she didn't try to correct the things they had said. 

Smith, still hadn't said anything. I guess he was still in shock. I mean, it's not every day that you get to meet a bunch of depressed kinda sorta superheros, minus the 'hero' and 'super', so I guess they are '         s'. But he was finally starting to pull himself back together. It took a while, but soon he felt that he was ready to say something. At first he wanted to say something stupid like 'really?', but then he recalled Beatrice's words. So, instead he found himself saying "then...What are your...powers?"

Landon who had just gotten back from making himself some more coffee Answered "I grow plants." When Smith looked confused he continued. "Like this." With that, he reached out his good hand towards a potted plant and it started to grow, it's stem reaching out towards him. In addition to that some vines burst out of the soil intertwining kind of like a rope. Soon he was holding on to the vine, as it wrapped around his hand. He shook it off and let it go limp on the ground. "I know it doesn't look like much, but I can do more as well." he said looking back at them. But Smith was far from unimpressed. He looked like a kid who had just been shown a magic trick. 

Then Beatrice spoke up. "Mine is different. You see, I can't exactly control it very well. It just...happens. It's not really a power at all-" 

"She can time travel!" Landon butted in. "and it's pretty darn cool."

"No it's not." Beatrice argued. "It's more of a self defence mechanism. Kinda like running away, like a coward. I've only done it a couple times as well…" 

"Well I still think it's cool!" Landon persisted "besides, you've seen a lot of things, you know about things that no one else knows about."

Beatrice fell silent at that. Everybody looked over at Tey expectantly. "What?" grumbled Tey. "do you expect me to talk about by great heroic skills now? Cause i'm not. I don't do anything good." 

"Yeah right" snorted Landon. "She can hack into people's minds!" 

"You can mind read?!" Smith gasped. Uh oh, could she look into his head! Had she already looked into his head!" he felt his face go red from embarrassment. 

Tey opened her eyes a bit and looked at them "no not exactly like mind reading, and don't worry Smith you'd know if I had done it." 

Smith looked a bit surprised though "but if you can't then how come you know that I was thinking that!" 

"Part of my power is that I can pick up on emotions by looking at people, it's even easier when I make physical contact with them. Your really embarrassed right now. I also just have great intuition." she said, for the first time the slightest bit of a grin on her face. 

"Then what's the rest of your power?" Smith asked, feeling very relieved. It was also just nice seeing her do something other than frown. 

"Well another part of my power is that I can project my thoughts into other people's minds if I want too, but I have to look straight into their eyes. It's useful however, because I can be quite convincing." she continued. "There's more but…" she stopped smiling. 

"What?" Smith breathed, curiosity pressing him on. 

She looked away and stopped talking. "I don't want to say-" 

"Come on! You can tell me! I really promise I won't tell anyone. Not like I can anyway…" Smith interrupted. But to his surprise, instead of answering she got up and walked away. She went to her room, closing the door. Great going Smith. Now you got her upset. The guy really does know how to go too far. 

Beatrice sighed, "It's a touchy topic for her, but I know that we should probably explain it to you...Landon?" 

Landon nodded, and started to explain. "Well, she can give you what we call 'The dark sight'. What It basically means is that you black out, but your still standing, just teetering at the brink of unconsciousness. Then, you start getting these horrible flashbacks, about the worst moments in your life. Guilt. Fear. loss. Anger. Everything. Except, they're all kind of stiched together into this giant nightmare, and in the midst of it, there's a voice. Saying all the horrible things about yourself that you know to be true, and while this is going on, you can feel her, just standing in the corner of your mind." 

Smith looked shocked a mortified. No wonder she was the way she was. So distant, no wonder she hadn't wanted to talk about it. Because no matter how painful it was for the other person, she would always get some of that pain as well. For if what Landon had said was true, and that she would be there in the corner of your mind as it all happened, then she woud have to witness what she was doing to you. And for once, he felt as if he finally understood her. Maybe even felt a little bad, for the cold assasin who always glared. Maybe he was starting to get all of them. Maybe, he was finally starting to piece together the bigger picture of it all. The truth was shocking. But one way or another, Smith was glad that he had it.


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