Chapter 1: Chapter 1
Harry had just lost Sirius in the Department of Mysteries and had learnt about the Prophecy from Dumbledore. School would close in about two weeks time in which Harry would have to finish grieving, after that the holidays and with them the Dursleys would arrive jeering and mocking him. Ron and Hermione were in the infirmary along with Ginny, Neville and Luna. Only he had been declared fit by Madam Pomfrey, the others were still recovering.
Neville and Luna would be discharged the day after, while Ron, Hermione and Ginny would stay till the School nurse who ruled the infirmary with a fist of iron saw it fit to allow them to leave. Harry sighed bitterly as he walked along the deserted corridors of the School that had become his home for the last five years. Classes had been cancelled after the OWLS and many students had left for their homes early in the light of Voldemort being alive and kicking and terrorizing.
He had no affection shown to him as a child and his daily question and prayer at night had been why he had been left alive by God when his parents' should die. It was because of that he had to stay in a broom closet and work like the slaves of old. His thirst for knowledge had been squashed by the Dursleys and his better performances had resulted in subtle threats and after that Harry had been forced to make sure he never performed better than his cousin.
Over the years the passion to know and learn had been dulled to such an extent he was only an average student instead of the eager student who had been filled with an excitement and an eagerness to learn new things when he first went to Muggle School.
He never knew what it was to be respected as person in his own right and his sense of confidence and self – respect had taken such a trashing that he never dared to venture in to the land of the extrovert, never giving his opinions unless he was asked specifically and even then he was careful and never making contradictory statements if he could avoid them.
When he entered the Wizarding World he had been pushed up and down the social and political ladder till he did not know where he was at any given moment. Nevertheless he had been very happy at first as he had thought he was being recognized as a person in his own right. Well what a disappointment he was in for.
His aunt and uncle had renamed him as the freak, calling him Harry would mean giving him too much respect. The Wizarding World had also done the same. They called him the Boy-who-Lived, when he was up the ladder and mental and mad and an attention seeking idiot when he was down the ladder. This was worse in Harry's opinion in some ways as with the Dursleys at least there were constants.
They always told him they hated him and did not want him; he was unworthy of love and respect, two things that defined the standard of living to Harry. A good life meant to him to be accepted as a person in his own right and be respected. Two things he had never known in his life. Here in the Wizarding World he was thrown head first into situations not of his making and was forced to deal with them.
When Sirius had stormed into his life he had given Harry the courage to hope, the dare to feel wanted as a person and not as the vanquisher of Voldemort or the Boy-who-Lived whose only aim in life was to adhere to the public's whims and fancies and then fade away obediently.
Now, Harry thought tears threatening to pour down his cheeks, once again after his parents' deaths when he had lived an unworthy and unloved life all these years, he had made sure that there would be no one to love him and no one for him to love. What made it bitterer was the fact he was responsible for the death of the only person who saw the Harry in the freak and the Boy-who-Lived.
Why oh why did he not have the sense to see the package Sirius had give? Why did he trust an elf that had always showed it was not trustworthy? Harry clutched his head in his hands as he leaned against the wall. He wished he could run away somewhere, somewhere to heal and to lick his wounds in private, but for him even that was denied.
He stayed there for a long time staring at the wall opposite him with un-seeing eyes and then with a sigh he left for the infirmary wearing his invisibility cloak. He did not want to be greeted or asked by the many admirers about Voldemort, the same admirers who thought he was insane just a few days ago.
He cast a silencing charm on him as a first year heard his footsteps and seeing no one had squeaked in terror. He also cast a Notice-me-not charm on him and slowly neared the infirmary door. Hermione had still to wake up and Ron and Ginny were up though Pomfrey had insisted they be in bed for at least three days.
The doors of the infirmary were wide open as always and Harry forgetting he was under the invisibility cloak and had a silencing charm and a Notice-me-not charm on him looked at Ron who was busy sifting through the sweets to find one he liked and said, "Hey Ron, Ginny, how are you guys?"
He stopped as no sound came out and a startled smile came out on his sad face as he realized he was under a silencing charm plus an invisibility cloak. He was about to remove silencing charm when there was a flash and Fawkes was there with an angry trill?
Harry was bemused and bewildered as he stopped his actions and moved slightly away from Fawkes and a little closer to Ron to see what that note that was so obviously from Albus Dumbledore was all about.
Ron had removed the thread that tied the scroll tightly and unrolled the parchment. He looked up and looked carefully at Hermione and then at the door.
"Ron," Ginny said impatiently, "Will you stop looking around like a git and read what Dumbledore has written. Harry just visited us in the morning and he will not come till after dinner as he has everyday and Hermione is sooo obviously asleep. Or give it to me here. I will take care of it."
"Oh shut up Ginny. You know Harry must not know of our connections with Dumbledore and neither must Hermione. I am only being careful. So keep quiet and let me read." Ron told equally rudely.
Harry was astounded and amazed. Ron and Ginny were having secret letters from Dumbledore that he and Hermione did not know about. What was in it? Harry went a little closer careful that his cloak hid him fully and casting the silencing charm over him once again.
"There will be an Order meeting of the Inner Circle tonight at half past ten on the fourth floor room behind the portrait of the Flowers, password is Flowery. Please ensure that Miss Granger is asleep. Will make sure Harry does not peep in. Fawkes will be your escort. Albus Dumbledore." The note burst in to flames and vanished.
Ron looked at Ginny who was looking very thoughtful. "Why has he called for a meeting when it is barely three days after the fiasco at the Department of Mysteries? I still have to recover fully, though you are quite okay."
"Well it must be something very important that he feels we must know, about Harry you know, and now he only has to take care of Harry as Hermione's asleep anyway. What could it be anyway? About Harry I mean, otherwise he would not have called us." She finished thoughtfully.
"Well we will know at half past ten tonight. Now shut up, I am going to sleep." Ron turned on his side and closed his eyes and went to sleep.
Harry slowly backed off and then continued slowly till he was a little away from the infirmary and then he ran to the library and sat down there his heart thudding in his chest, because of running hard and because of the confusion, anger and most of all the betrayal he felt as he heard Ron and Ginny speak.
He sat there for almost an hour unable to come to terms with what he had heard and was only slightly relieved that Hermione was not included in it. But still from Ron this was the ultimate betrayal and he felt one more wall in his already battered and torn home crumbling and shattering as his trust and friendship with Ron came under the hammer.
It could be something that concerns the Weasleys he thought desperately. But then why have an Order meeting to discuss that. Dumbledore could have just have come and spoke to them about it. And they were not at all surprised to see Fawkes bring letters about Order meetings. Then were they in the Order of the Phoenix?
Harry's head swirled as he tried to make sense of it all. He couldn't and after another fifteen minutes of sitting there he decided to go to that meeting of the Inner Circle of the Order and see for himself. Who were the Inner Circle members? His lips trembled at the thought he refused to entertain that Sirius too, might have known about Ron and Ginny's inclusion in the Inner Circle of the Order. He knew he would not be able to lift himself from that blow, if that came to light.
He straightened his shoulders and decided to go with his invisibility cloak and then stopped. Dumbledore had known during his second year in Hagrid's hut that they were there under the invisibility cloak, and in his first year too, when he was going to the Mirror of Erised. So he would have to find another way out of that. Dumbledore could also see auras and he would know in a jiffy that Harry was there.
He wished Hermione were here. She would have told him by now what to do and how to go about it. Suddenly he was fiercely glad that at least she was also not a party to this Order thing.
He sighed and then walked to the shelves for charms books. It was about four in the afternoon. That meant he had about six hours to find out about it, when another thought came to him frustrating him more. Moody, if he were there he would be able to look through anything. Harry became desperate for a minute when he thought that he would not be able to go, and then he decided to try. Who knew he could find out spells that would hide you from Moody's eye as well.
Harry diligently searched for all the six hours. He could find nothing. He was so frustrated he was already pulling at his hair. There was yet another pile of books, but all of the hundred or so were useless and he wished for the thousandth time that Hermione was here. It was nearing ten and he still did not know what to do.
He gave sigh and took out the next book from the pile he had yet to see and beneath the book he had taken was a huge tome that said 'How to be truly invisible and on it were the pictures of aura and magical eyes and the words 'hide from these' next to them. He eagerly took that and hastily turned the pages and with his wand returned all the books to their places, in case anybody would come in and see him looking up books on invisibility.
That book gave him the answer in the third chapter about hiding auras and in the sixth chapter about hiding from magical instruments like Moody's eyes. He did not realize that that book was above NEWT level and he memorized both the spells and then tried both on himself.
It took about twelve tries before he got the spells right as the book said and felt a double tingle go through him. Fear of being found out and excitement and anger about what he would find there made Harry draw in short breaths and he cast yet another silencing charm at himself as well as a Notice-me-not charm again.
He then looked up the counters to both and pulled out a piece of parchment and wrote both the spells and their counters and was about to close the book when he remembered Remus. He hurriedly went to the creatures section in that book and read about the spell to cast to subdue your scent and that took fifteen tries and then Harry banished that book to its place and walked out.
He did not know if he had succeeded though the spells had hit him correctly and had tingled properly as the book said, well he would know as he gate crashed the party, he thought with a good amount of fear and walked swiftly to the fourth floor. He was just ten minutes short of ten 'o' clock and he whispered Flowery about eight times panicking as the door did not open, before he realized he had a silencing charm on him.
Harry quickly removed it and whispered Flowery and walked in to the room that was still dark and as the door closed, it became very dark. He recast the silencing charm on himself and waited for the door to open so that he could see where he was. He moved away from the door along the side he was in holding on with his hands to the walls.
Sharp at ten, the door opened and Harry blinked at the light, panicking as Dumbledore and Moody came in followed by the others. The Weasleys, Remus Lupin, Tonks, Shaklebolt, Snape, McGonagall, Hagrid and Diggle, Harry looked at all of them in amazement. There was no Ron or Ginny, though. The note had said half past ten, so there was obviously going to be another meeting after this.
Albus clapped his hands and there was silence, "We will first observe a moment's silence for Sirius." And the all of them stood up and were silent for a minute.
Then all of them discussed various things that sounded terribly dull to Harry. Then Molly asked Dumbledore about him.
"How is Harry, Albus? I saw Ron and Ginny, they were sleeping, but as Harry was not there I could not see him. How has he taken Sirius's falling through the veil?" Molly Weasley looked anxious as she asked Dumbledore.
"Very well, Molly, far better than I expected. I expected him to cry and howl the place down, but all he has been doing is walking up and down corridors and not talking much. He will be all right by the time he goes back to the Dursleys." Dumbledore told her as an amazed Harry listened on.
Harry had destroyed his office, yelled at him, had almost howled and had wanted out of everything in the Wizarding World and Dumbledore thought he was fine? What was wrong with him? Harry felt his respect for a man he had regarded so highly come a little down. Remus had to still ask for him, Harry thought sadly; maybe he was scared that Harry would kill him off as well.
Snape was sitting in the shadows, sneering at everyone for all he was worth. Harry glared at him. He still was not convinced that Snape had not delayed the message that brought the Order so late to do anything. They were not kids and they could apparate and could have come long before the six of them riding on threstals actually had arrived at the Department of Mysteries and still it had taken them half an hour after Harry and the others had arrived to come and help them.
"Severus, do you have anything for us?" Dumbledore asked with a smile.
"Lucius has come out of Azkaban and has pleaded his innocence," he was cut off there as there was a lot of exclamations, shouting and yelling and Dumbledore clapped his hands shouting for silence.
"How did you know? There was no news from the Wizengamot where the trial should be held." Dumbledore was frowning and getting a bit angry as he realized he had not been called or informed.
"The Dark Lord asked Rookwood to take a lowly death eater who admitted to Fudge that he had polyjuiced as Lucius in the Department of Mysteries. As soon as that man admitted his guilt, Fudge personally released Lucius from Azkaban." Snape finished with another sneer.
Harry was shocked. Lucius Malfoy was out and that idiot Fudge was responsible. He turned to Moody who was saying something derogatory about Snape and Harry heartily agreed as Snape glared at Moody trying to kill him with his stare.
Dumbledore once again pacified Moody and Snape and then, "Is that all? Then I have a request to make of you Severus. This is the reason I called the Order meeting tonight. Severus, I want you to take Harry away to your cottage in the hills by the lake that you have and teach him Occlumency and Legilimency so that Voldemort will not attack him and place false memories, memories that caused us Sirius. I also wish that you teach him the rudimentary aspects of offensive and battle magic."
There was a stunned silence and Harry himself was too horrified to speak, but it was not Remus but Molly who objected, forever earning Harry's gratitude.
"Albus you know they hate each other so. Why do you insist they always be paired together? Harry would have learnt Occlumency if only someone else had taught him. Not," she turned to Severus who was glaring and snarling at her and said hastily, "I do not mean any insult to you Severus, only that Harry's temperament and yours do not match. Why don't you assign this to Remus?"
Remus cleared his throat, "Molly now is not the time for me to be with Harry. I have just lost another person who accepted me as I was," Snape sneered here again, "And while my mind tells me Harry is not to blame; my heart does not allow me to forget that Sirius came out of Grimmauld Place only because of Harry. I will need some time to heal, before I can move with him as before. Please."
Harry shattered into a million pieces as he heard Remus, who had almost said Harry was responsible for the death of Sirius. While Harry knew at a deeper level that what he said was true, it devastated him totally as he stared with wide eyes full of hurt at Remus.
"So, your emotions are far more important to you than that of your dear departed friend's son who also accepted you as a wolf." The sarcastic voice of Snape made Remus flush, but he did not say anything more.
"Now, now Severus, Remus also needs time to grieve. Do not hassle him. Now Harry will be with the Dursleys for exactly one week, to strengthen the wards, then you may take him to Rose Cottage and help him to learn. I am very worried about him Severus. He does not have the aura that is comforting and now Sirius's death will further weaken the will of the boy to do strong magic." Dumbledore looked very worried, and seeing him all the others except Snape looked equally worried.
"Albus, Harry has to be strong. Otherwise how will he defeat Voldemort?" Remus was concerned and it showed in his voice.
"So your heart is not so far gone as to realize that it is your precious 'Golden Boy' that you need to defeat Voldemort, but your heart," here Snape was dripping with sarcasm, "does not want to have to do much with him. You certainly are clear, Lupin." Lupin flushed angrily, not able to refute what Snape was saying, but shamed he had put it into the open so uncaringly.
"I was saying that Harry has to be strong for himself, Severus not for me. Voldemort has been coming after him for a long while now and he is not going to stop because Harry is grieving." Snape merely sneered and turned to Dumbledore.
"I will not be able to take him Albus. While I hate to agree with Molly, what she says is true. I told you at the time you asked me to teach him Occlumency and that failed because we have very little trust in each other. What you are asking me now will fail because of the same reason. I am a harsh teacher and Harry is an impertinent, ignorant, disobedient and uncaring school child."
"That was very harsh Severus. Harry has always been polite to all of us and I am afraid you have allowed your childish enmity with James to spill over to Harry." Molly was furious as Snape spoke so deprecatingly about Harry, whom she genuinely thought of as her very own.
Snape flushed with rage and once again Dumbledore brought the Order to silence though most of them were fuming. "Severus, I am afraid I cannot give you a choice as Harry needs to be molded. Molly you must understand that Harry needs the harshness. As Severus says he is too wayward and sometimes rather lax about obeying the rules. He would run rings around all of us, we are too soft with him, and Severus will make sure he learns. This will also pull Harry's thoughts from his grief and he will concentrate. Please trust me on this."
Dumbledore looked steadily at Severus and after some five minutes of sulking and scowling Snape nodded once and stood up. "If that is all, then I may as well go and enjoy what peace I have now as the next two months are going to be worse than time with the Dark Lord."
Dumbledore smiled and nodded and that made the meeting come to a close as all of them left saying their good byes, leaving only Dumbledore and Moody. In five minutes they were joined by three other persons all of them Weasleys. Ron, Ginny and Percy.
"What happened? Why so late?" asked Ron as they sat down.
Harry who had been totally dazed by what he had heard in the last hour was now struggling to keep up with this. Ron and Percy were friends. Their parents never knew and Dumbledore encouraged it. What was going on and why?
"How are you two?" asked Percy looking at them. "Fine," both of them answered together. Percy smiled and turned to Dumbledore looking at him expectantly.
"Fudge was in a closed door meeting with Rookwood and another man. Then he left very urgently." Percy started as Moody cut him off, "Severus already told us, Lucius is out of prison." Moody explained in brief about the release of Lucius from prison.
Percy was shocked as were Ron and Ginny. Dumbledore decided to start before Ron started on one of his pet peeves, ranting and raving about Malfoy.
"Ron, you must make sure Harry tells you everything. In the emotional aftermath of Sirius's death, Harry almost destroyed my offices. He should not have been able to do what he did. So keep your eyes open and encourage Harry to speak to you about everything. I am especially concerned about the link he shares with Voldemort. Your mother will come to take you both back home tomorrow and I will not get an opportunity to see you till School reopens.
"Ginny, this year you must win the affections of Harry's heart. You must make sure that both of you are a couple. Harry will be safe with you and he will not think of doing silly things during the year if he is occupied with you. Both of you must make sure Harry does not learn too much. That is the purpose of this meeting. I will deposit ten thousand galleons each in both your vaults tomorrow for this year. Now go and take rest. Goodnight."
Both of them nodded and left with Fawkes, and then Percy left too, after a few minutes left promising to scout for more news about the death eaters captured and what he could get on Fudge.
Left alone Dumbledore turned to Moody in concern and worry that was written all over his face.
"How could Harry destroy my office like that Alastor? I have bound more than sixty percent of Harry's magic and all of his gifts. Yet he has been able to cast a patronus that held off a hundred dementors in his third year and now he annihilated my office."
"Why do you worry? We have been building up the emotions in him nicely. When the time comes Potter will clash with Voldemort and both of them will die. Potter should not live, Albus as anybody with the amount of raw power that he has can do a lot of harm if he so decides. We cannot watch him forever to see if he is turning dark.
"He sealed his fate in my opinion on the day he killed Voldemort sixteen years ago. A one year old baby killing a wizard of that caliber is dangerous to say the least. Now you keep calm and we will work it all out. Make sure Harry writes a will saying that he leaves everything for the reparation of the Wizarding World and makes you in charge of that. And above all don't tell him about his family vaults."
Dumbledore nodded his head thoughtfully. "For that we have to make sure Harry lives for at least two years without getting into the clutches of Voldemort. The money he will receive at seventeen will come in good to rebuild our world. You are right as usual my friend. Well, let us hope Snape breaks Harry a bit more. Then he will be all alone and will listen to my gentle suggestions as Remus has also decided to stay away for some time. Sirius was a thorn in our side," he was cut off as Moody spoke gruffly.
"He was an ass." Moody said bluntly. "He thought the world of Potter and was beginning to get suspicious about your intentions for his Godson in the end. Good he went."
Harry stared not aware of how his body was trembling or the hate that shone in his eyes as Dumbledore once again nodded his head in agreement. "Yes good he went or else I would have had to do something to incapacitate him forever." Dumbledore became Harry's enemy from that moment. "Come let us go. We have long days now."
Harry stood there in the darkness for almost an hour struggling with his emotions and all that he had heard. He felt that his head would explode with the amount of information it had received in that one hour.
He just could not deal with it and process the information he had heard and could not take it anymore. He stumbled out and walked along; removing all the charms he had cast on himself and removing his cloak, went to the dungeons. He knocked at the door of the potions classroom and after five minutes Snape opened the door, a sharp question on his lips.
Before Snape could ask him anything however, Harry spoke his voice slurring and thick with the effort of keeping the emotions at bay. He was careful not to look at Snape in the eye and bending his head down, "Sir, I just cannot get sleep. Please may I have a vial of the Dreamless Sleep potion?"
Snape was about to speak angrily to him and tell him off for wandering after hours in the dungeons and just what Harry could do with his request when he saw the defeated posture and the struggle Harry was having in controlling of his emotions. Snape shut his mouth and silently went inside and brought out a vial and handed it over to him.
"Thank you Sir." That was all Harry said before he took off at a run and panting reached the Griffindor dormitory and giving the password, he went inside, mechanically washed and cleaned before he cast silencing charms at the curtains and drowned the vial of the Dreamless Sleep potion. The next second he was out like a light falling into a blessed sleep.
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