Chapter 1: A new beginning
As few days passed from this memorable evening, but still I can't pick up myself. I'm just not able to understand why a man whom I loved, and with whom I associated a common hope and happy future could do something like THAT?! I can't describe what I felt before... before THIS, but the word closest to my soul at this time was "happiness". Yes, this state of heart, when you are finally sure that you've found the man of your life – this only one who never betray you, which support you in harsh time and bring you flowers to your work at no reason...
And just when I've touched this state, Ian fucked another girl.
My long-time friend Joan…
I sit alone at home and this shitty situation brings me just to howl in despair! This asshole called me regularly by the whole afternoon, then pounded to the door, but I pretended that I'm not here. But in fact I was hidden in the bedroom, under the covers, swallowing tears of anger, despair and grief. My mind's eye I see Joan, when she gives him deeply, wet kiss, and then they laugh from my stupidity and good heart...
After a long time I was able to pick up myself enough to call Annette, my best friend. Two bottles of my favorite wine (YOSSA V.S.O.P. 1995) are lying in the cabinet; I want to drink a few glasses and talk with… someone. Finally, there is a duty of friends of the heart after all, right? But of course, they are never at hand when are most needed!!! Annette 's phone was stubbornly silent, so I decided that I drink alone – I need some alcohol, especially today. I stood along with the cabinet, thinking about the choice of the appropriate glass, when my eyes fell on a pile of letters, thrown carelessly on the fridge – apparently my roommate emptied mailbox and left my part at the agreed place. She always puts my letters on the refrigerator, while I'm leaving her correspondence under the mirror. But do I really want to view them now? If I skip it until tomorrow, today will be one bad news less. A few weeks ago I replied to an advertisement for an internship. It was a very large and well-known newspaper, and probably they troubled themselves to send me a negative note, in which in polite words they wished me "the great successes in career development" – unfortunately not with them... I'm not in the mood today for another defeat. I prefer to drink some wine and think about my future carrier as a provincial school librarian. Well, but if... if they are not refused me? What then?! Am I really ready to go to the big city, to begin a new life?
I take out a bottle from the cabinet and slowly pour the wine into the glass, savoring its color, texture, and bouquet, and finally a beautiful, harmonized taste. Hmm, maybe enough of that? Whom you are trying to deceive, poor girl? After all, you can't distinguish the harmonized taste from any other. I just like this wine, so there's no sense to feign the sommelier. At the end of the first bottle wine, it's really outstanding, but when I opening the second one, the thoughts about Ian suddenly grasps me again, and memories are coming back with a painful force! I remember that I tried to call Annette again, crying into the phone on the whole damn world, and then... I think I went to bed?
I wake up in the morning with a terrible headache and a horrible hangover. Well, I drank yesterday two bottles of wine... I am moving slowly to the kitchen, and then, still almost blind from pain, swallow aspirin, strong painkiller and a sedative, then, ignoring the protests of the stomach, sip it all with milk. I remember vaguely that I had something to do today… but what? Go out? Well, of course – check the mail! I'm nervously searching through the leaves of paper – outdated greetings, gas bill, banknote... Ach, it is! Elegant envelope with the logo of "mine" newspaper. I tear it rapidly, my hands are shaking from emotions, so I have problems with deciphering the letter. Madam! Thank you for your application... Come on, come on! We are happy to welcome you on a three-month internship...
My emotions are so high that I'm just sitting on the floor. They took me for an internship! So all my sleepless nights and my dreams – spells almost! – finally, have a chance to appear!
I'm leaving from here!!!
Well, so when I'm supposed to be there...? I look back to the letter – the day after tomorrow?! But I do not even have a place to stay, and besides that, what I have to wear?! It's a great newspaper and I need to look absolutely professional, not as a provincial librarian! I'm turning upside down all my wardrobes, but except clothes good enough for barbecue or countryside disco I can't find absolutely NOTHING! In desperation I grab the phone and call Annette, begging her in my soul to be somewhere nearby at this time. And she is, thanks to God!
– Well, sweet, you will not believe what happened! – I'm triumphantly declaring the good news.
– I know very well – she interrupts me with a cold voice. – Yesterday you've recorded on my cell a few minutes of drunken gibberish, something about an internship in the newspaper. Now I understand from your tone that it was a positive message – because yesterday it was hard for me to judge.
I accept her malice stoically, without commenting them even without a single word – apparently sedative is working. Just after an hour of conversation, our plan of action begins to be more clear. Annette has a sister, with whom I will stay for some time, and tomorrow we go for round-over shops to supply my wardrobe. I want to start a new chapter in my life – with a clean sheet and... without Ian.
It was really crazy raid around malls, but I've hunted two pretty good jackets. Packed in only three suitcases, I'm saying goodbye to Annette and after a few hours of train journey landing in the capital. My flat is located far away on the outskirts, but is clean and nicely decorated, and Karina, my roommate and Annette 's sister, seems to be a pleasant and kind girl. Quite good beginning, I said to myself, dressing up in a new jacket, bought especially for the first day to work. It is true that it is only an internship, but I hope to that after it I'll get a real job and stay here for longer than the initial three months. Following Karina's advice, I left home in advance, adding time for traffic jams. Fortunately, I'm arriving on my destination at a time (still a lucky day!), as headquarters of the newspaper are located at the office building in the center of the city. Along with a few other people I'm going into the elevator and the doors had already started to close, when at the last moment high, a slightly breathless woman ran to it. Everyone instinctively moved away from her, as she looks not as woman, but the fiery lightning. Fury bursts through her body, from the tips of high heels to the mane of fire-red hairs, which curls around her face – even pretty, but now contorted in a grimace of rage. She turned on her heel to the door, showing all people around how tires her even this temporary company; her movement was so violent that workbooks she kept scatters on the floor of the elevator. The woman turns furiously on our side, then looks straight at me.
– Well, what are you standing there, you idiot?! – yells at me furiously. – You scattered it, so be kind to gather now!
Her anger has an almost physical impact on me. Without a word of protest I'm collecting scattered papers, and then giving them to flaming fury. She measures me with scornful eyes, then smiles contemptuously and turns to the door, no longer gracing me with her attention. I stand like paralyzed, almost afraid to breathe. The elevator stops at the next floor and now we are only two in it. In my head borns terrifying suspicion: have we going to the same floor? Well, the elevator panel illuminates only one digit. And it means... it means that we will work together in the same company. With all the strength I'm trying to keep a straight face – how nicely my work begins! Or maybe I'll leave it all, turn around and go home? I will probably have to work with this harpy every day. Oh God, what if she is my boss?!
We leaving the elevator together and going to the same door – I was right! Harpy throws a mocking glance on me and then disappears in the depths of the office. So nice, it seems that I have the first enemy here, even before had occasion to begin a new job. I wonder if I have a talent for this, or it was simply bad luck, just meeting of the wrong person at the wrong time and place? But as soon as reported to the front desk, bad thoughts quickly goes out of my head – the next few hours turns into one big vortex of talks with my new colleagues, arranging desk, signing various documents and "induction training", first of many awaiting me. Seems that my boss is away, but I'll meet him in the evening, on... banquet. Is this real editor's work – going from one party to another?
– Don't be stupid – says Henrietta, one of the others girls on internship period when I confide in her with my doubts. – Boss is always attended on such banquets, as it's a great opportunity to hear the latest gossip and check who is going up... and who not. We both go there straight from work. He wants to see us there, and maybe you receive your first task?
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