Chapter 3: Don't press the big red button
"What the freaking ******** **** ********." >:(
`:>
"So, umm what exactly do we do now."
"Owner's manual."
"Owner's manual?"
The spirit lady stands up and takes a book off her chair.
As she sits s down, I hear her mumble, "It's always when you …. retire…. every freaking time... management…. …. what the frick…. ham biscuits."
"Um, so what does it say?"
"Hmm, oh it says here in the event of repeated errors run diagnostic test."
"Ok."
To run diagnostic test, remove tabletop
As she says that she gestures to me to lift the table top. Once the table top is removed there is a panel revealed to be below it.
"So, what does it says to do now?"
"It says here:
• Turn the right most nozzle with the red scrungie on the top 3 degrees click to left.
• then 6 degrees to the right.
• press the blue nozzle button down for 3 seconds then let off and
• say the word diagnostic test."
The spirit lady who I nicknamed Esi does this and as she says the word diagnostic test almost immediately: <error>.
"Oh, come on!!!"
"Maybe the instruction manual says something else."
As Esi begins to furiously turn the pages I notice a weird blinking red button almost …. Entrancing…. it is so beautiful .... Makes you just want to push it….
As my hand reaches for the button Esi notices me reaching for it and right as I'm about to touch it.
"Hello this tech support!"
"Gahh!!!!!! "
Esi doesn't seem so surprised as I was and a I look closer it appears that she has some sort of taking ball in her hands.
"Yes, I would like to know why my system keeps bugging out.", Esi says with obvious rage.
"Well ma'am could you be more specific."
"Ma'am, Ma'am! I am a sir!"
"Wait, what!?! "I say in confusion.
"OH, my apologies sir, but could you please explain in clearer detail as to what pray tell is the system that is 'bugging out'."
"Our you sassing me."
"No ma… sir. "
"Good. First it's the translation system, then it was the world viewer system, as well as pulling up the best-fit matcher, and, finally, now it's the it's the diagnostic test."
As the two-talk back and forth I notice the red butt on again this time it is clearer in detail but I'm not as entranced by. it… it looks so nice … I can think of so many things that could happen if I just pushed …. maybe I'll get a free t-shirt.
As I'm distracted by the button I don't hear, "Is the button in the center console red."
"Why, yes."
"Excellent. the current client is supposed to be flushed that's why your having so much trouble. "
"Oh, so I just need to push the button then."
"Correctamundo!"
"well I've always wanted to push that button, but what would happen if we let the client touch it?"
"No, don't! You have to push it oh why otherwise you'll be flushed."
"What !!!"
As soon as he hears that and sees me reaching for the button, he quickly smacks my hand away and quickly slams his hand on the button. Suddenly I feel like I swallowed a lemon and as I look down, I can see the at my body is sucking inwards. I can't even scream as searing course through every fiber of my being and just as I think it's over, I feel it again and again and again. over and over and over again.
Man, that was gross
<error>
😐
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Anthony_Calfa
Anthony_Calfa This is why you always check the owner's manual.
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