Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Diary of a Wimpy Kid
(Wednesday)
only one comic slot, and up until now this kid named
Bryan Little has been hogging it all to himself. Bryan has this comic called "Wacky Dawg," and
when it started off, it was actually pretty funny.
But lately, Bryan's been using his strip to handle
his personal business. I guess that's why they
gave him the axe.
As soon as I heard the news, I knew I had to
try out. "Wacky Dawg" made Bryan Little a
celebrity at our school, and I wanted to get in
on some of that kind of fame.
I had a taste of what it's like to be famous at
my school when I won an honorable mention in this
the antismoking contest they had.
All I did was trace a picture from one of
Rodrick's heavy metal magazines, but luckily, no
one ever found out.
The kid who won first place is named Chris
Carney. And what kind of ticks me off is that
Chris smokes at least a pack of cigarettes a day.
(Thursday)
Me and Rowley decided to team up and do a
cartoon together. So after school today he came
over to my house, and we got to work.
We banged out a bunch of characters real
quick, but that turned out to be the easy
part. When we tried to think up some jokes,
we kind of hit a wall.
I finally came up with a good solution.
I made up a cartoon where the punch line of
every strip is "Zoo-Wee Mama! "
That way we wouldn't get bogged down with having
to write actual jokes, and we could concentrate on
the pictures.
For the first couple of strips, I did the writing
and drew the characters, and Rowley drew the
boxes around the pictures.
Rowley started complaining that he didn't have
enough to do, so I let him write a few of the strips.
But to be honest with you, there was a pretty
obvious drop in quality once Rowley started doing
the writing.
Eventually I got kind of sick of the "Zoo-Wee
Mama" idea and I pretty much let Rowley take
over the whole operation.
And believe it or not, Rowley's drawing skills
are worse than his writing skills.
I told Rowley maybe we should come up with
some new ideas, but he just wanted to keep
writing "Zoo-Wee Mamas." Then he packed up
his comics and went home, which was fine by me.
I don't really want to be partnered up with a
kid who doesn't draw noses, anyway.
(Friday)
After Rowley left yesterday, I really got to work
on some comics. I came up with this character called
Creighton the Cretin, and I got on a roll. I must've banged out twenty strips, and I
didn't even break a sweat.
The great thing about these"Creighton the Cretin"
comics is that with all the idiots running around my
school, I will never run out of new material.
When I got to school today, I took my comics
to Mr. Ira's office. He's the teacher who runs
the school newspaper.
But when I went to turn my strips in, I saw
that there was a pile of comics from other kids
who were trying out for the job.
Most of them were pretty bad, so I wasn't too
worried about the competition.
One of the comics was called "Dumb Teachers,"
and it was written by this kid named Bill Tritt.
Bill is always in detention, so I guess he has a
bone to pick with just about every teacher in the
school, including Mr. Ira.
So I'm not too worried about the chances of
Bill's comic getting in, either.
There were actually one or two decent comics in
the bin. But I slipped them under a pile of
paperwork on Mr. Ira's desk.
Hopefully, those ones won't turn up until I'm
in high school.
Thursday
Today, during morning announcements, I got
the news I was hoping for.
The paper came out today at lunchtime, and
everyone was reading it.
I really wanted to pick up a copy to see my
name in print, but I decided to just play it cool
for a while instead.
I sat at the end of the lunch table so there
would be plenty of room for me to start signing
autographs for my new fans. But nobody was coming
over to tell me how great my comic was, and I
started to get the feeling something was wrong.
I grabbed a paper and went into the bathroom
to check it out. And when I saw my comic, I
practically had a heart attack.
Mr. Ira told me he had made some "minor
edits" to my comic. I thought he just meant he
he fixed spelling mistakes and stuff like that, but
he totally butchered it.
The comic he ruined was one of my favorite ones,
too. In the original, Creighton the Cretin is taking
a math test, and he accidentally eats it. And then
the teacher yells at him for being such a moron.
By the time Mr. Ira was done with it, you
practically couldn't recognize it as the same strip.
So I'm pretty sure I won't be signing autographs
anytime soon.
*March*
(Wednesday)
Me and Rowley were enjoying our hot chocolate
in the cafeteria with the rest of the Patrols
today, and there was an announcement on the
loudspeaker.
Rowley went down to Mr. Winsky's office, and
when Rowley came back fifteen minutes later, he
looked pretty shaken up.
Apparently, Mr. Winsky got a call from a parent
who said they witnessed Rowley "terrorizing"
the kindergartners when he was supposed to be
walking them home from school. And Mr. Winsky
was really mad about it.
Rowley said Mr. Winsky yelled at him for about
ten minutes and said his actions "disrespected
the badge."
You know, I think I might just know what this
is all about. Last week, Rowley had to take a
quiz during the fourth period, so I walked the
kindergartners home on my own.
It had rained that morning, and there were a
lot of worms on the sidewalk. So I decided to
have some fun with the kids.
But some neighborhood lady saw what I was
doing, and she yelled at me from her front porch.
It was Mrs. Irvine, who is friends with Rowley's
mom. She must have thought I was Rowley because I was borrowing his coat. And I wasn't
about to correct her, either.
I forgot about the whole incident until today.
Anyway, Mr. Winsky told Rowley he's going to
have to apologize to the kindergartners tomorrow
morning, and that he's suspended from Patrols
for a week.
I knew I should probably just tell Mr. Winsky it
was me who chased the kids with the worms. But
I wasn't ready to set the record straight just
yet. I knew if I confessed, I'd lose my hot
chocolate privileges. And that right there was
enough to make me keep quiet for the time being.
At dinner tonight, Mom could tell something
was bothering me, so she came up to my room
afterward to talk.
I told her I was in a tough situation, and I
didn't know what to do.
I got to give Mom credit for how she handled
it. She didn't try to pry and get all the details.
All she said was that I should try to do the
"right thing," because it's our choices that make
us who we are.
I figure that's pretty decent advice. But I'm still
not 100% sure what I'm going to do tomorrow.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Legion_Back
Legion_Back The next chapter will be the finale of the book etc. the official ending! I'll talk about the next plan of the series in the next chapter.
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