"What? Why?"
"If you want sexual pleasure, give me your testicles."
"What's the point of sexual pleasure if I have no testicles?" Melvin asked.
"Look, do you want sexual pleasure or not?"
Melvin considered this a moment, looking Abigail over. Was she worth emasculation? He could always get his testicles back, couldn't he? Her breasts were supple, her stomach flat and smooth, her legs long and luscious. But it was her eyes that made up his mind for him.
"Yes," he said. He reached into his trousers and unclipped his testicles from the rest of his body as if they were nothing more than a strangely shaped clip-on tie underneath his penis. He held them out to Abigail, and she took them and stuffed them down the front of her shirt, apparently somewhere in her bra.
"Now, can I have sexual pleasure?" Melvin asked. Abby nodded and pulled off his pants. Melvin's penis was limp and flaccid in the yellow glow of the sun, and as much as Abigail worked at it, Melvin could not get an erection.
"What is wrong with you?" Abigail asked with a look of disgust.
"I... well, maybe if I had my testicles..."
"No, they're mine now. You'll have to do without them."
"But I can't function sexually," Melvin tried to explain.
Abigail shrugged, "Not my fault." She continued to flog away at Melvin's penis like a woman possessed but had no success. She stuck it in her mouth and gave it some desperate sucks. Melvin's penis still did not respond.
"I'm sorry. I can't. I can't get it up."
"Impotent loser," Abigail said, flinging Melvin's soft penis out of her hands, and she stood up. She smoothed the wrinkles out of dress with her hands and then looked at Melvin.
"See ya, sucker!" she yelled and took off, Melvin's testicles still stuffed down the front of her shirt.
Richie Golding sat at his desk, attempting to concentrate on his work. His fingers sat on the keyboard, immobile and useless, and he stared at the computer monitor with a blank look. Lunch had been an exercise into the surreal, and he still wasn't sure if he understood what was going on with Melvin. How'd he get mixed up with Brenda Briswell's twin sister, and why did she stick him in her car and take off? Where was she taking him? Perhaps these questions and more could be answered during Richie's date tonight with Brenda.
The whole situation gave him a bad feeling.
Then Richie saw Abigail, Melvin's ex wife, and his bad feeling got worse. She slipped out of the elevator and worked her way towards Melvin's office, her hips swaying and her ass working in her tight blue jeans, garnering a few admiring looks from men on the floor. Richie knew that Melvin thankfully wasn't in his office and figured he'd better find out what Abigail was doing there. Richie had a good idea. Abigail wasn't the kind of woman who accepted rejection and went on her merry way; she was going to attempt for the second time that day to get Melvin to fuck her. Good thing Melvin had been spirited it off by Brenda's sister.
Richie peered to his right and left and didn't see anyone looking. He stood up from his desk and walking as quickly as he could without risking unwanted attention, he followed Abigail into Melvin's office. He closed the door behind him with a click of the lock, and startled, Abigail swung around to face him.
"Where's Mel?" she asked, swishing her short brown hair to one side with a toss of her neck. Abigail seemed to have already forgotten she'd just gotten Richie off less than an hour ago; they were back in acquaintance mode.
"In church, thanking God he's not married to you anymore," Richie replied with a large grin. Advantage Golding, he thought. He leaned back against the door and crossed his arms over his chest. Abigail was on his turf now, and his beer buzz from lunch had mostly worn off.
"And what are YOU doing here?" he said, raising his eyebrows.
"I wanted to apologize to Melvin. I'm not a total bitch, you know."
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