"You are not the only one who wants to treat someone well," I said, ignoring the pain his grip caused. He looked at me for a while. The flames in his eyes slowly dying and their color becoming golden again. He let go of my neck and looked down as if regretting what he had just done.
"You should... take your shirt off," I said.
Walking back to the bed, he ripped his shirt open, showing a perfectly toned stomach and chest. The muscles in his arm twitched as he lay down on the bed.
"Are you just going to stare?" he asked. Embarrassed I hurried to the bed, sat down, and started cleaning his wounds.
This was horrible. The wounds seemed deep and they would probably leave scars on his back. It must have hurt a lot. Was his family always so cruel to him? And I had thought my family were too cruel. I wondered what his childhood was like. Was he always like this? Rejected by his family, bullied and punished? He must have been so lonely.
"Why are you crying?" A tear fell down my cheek. Am I crying? Why? He sat up, facing me. "What is it?" he asked softly.
"Why did you take the punishment?"
"Because I can't let someone else get punished for what I did," he said, wiping a tear away from my cheek.
"Why did you even fight in the first place? Look what happened to you now. It must hurt a lot and you will get a lot of scars. I don't like seeing you get hit and I don't like your brothers." I said more tears falling down my cheeks. I hated this, it wasn't right.
"Are you crying for my sake now? You really confuse me, one time you are scared of me and the other one you cry because I am hurt, even though I hurt you just now."
To be honest, I was confused myself, but I just didn't like to see him like this.
"Hazel," he said, adopting a softer tone and wiping away more tears with his thumb "What are you doing to me?"
"What?" I said, confused but he grabbed my waist and pulled me down on the bed with him on top of me. He laid so our bodies were perfectly aligned, but most of his weight was held by his arms as to not crush me.
He leaned closer as if to kiss me, and I shut my eyes tightly and pressed my lips into a thin line. I don't know why I reacted that way, but instead of feeling his lips on mine, I felt them on my neck. My body went rigid, surprised by the heat that blossomed inside of me at the feeling of his lips on my skin.
When he kissed right under my ear, a moan escaped my lips and I dig my fingers into his back. He hissed in pain but continued kissing me in the same place. I felt wetness on my fingers. Blood. His wounds. I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away lightly.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"I..I never finished cleaning your wounds," I said.
"You don't have to. It doesn't hurt anymore," he said, pressing his lips on my neck again making me all dizzy. "Just let me have you."
"Lucian.." I tried to push him away again but he grabbed my wrists and pinned them down. I started panicking. He was losing control. What if he doesn't listen to me? As if sensing my fear he stopped and let go of my wrists. He sat up on the bed, looking hurt.
"You can continue," he said softly.
After I finished cleaning his wounds in silence, I walked out of the chamber to let him rest. The guards were waiting outside and looked terribly worried.
"His Highness is fine," I told them and then walked away. I went to the garden and sat on the swing. Even though I was outside in the cold breeze, I still felt hot. I touched my neck where he had kissed me. I didn't know that a kiss could affect someone so much. Ylva and Lydia would sometimes tell me about their passionate night with their husband, how only a touch could make them weak and wild. I always loved hearing their crazy stories. If it weren't for them, I would have been so lonely.
I don't know how long I was sitting, immersed in my own memories, but eventually, the sound of footsteps nearby broke my reverie.
"Lucian? What are you doing here? You are supposed to rest," I scolded.
"I'm fine," he said, sitting down next to me. "It felt uncomfortable to sleep in the bloody sheets so I told the maids to clean them. Why are you looking sad?"
"I'm not."
"Is it because I hurt you?" He inquired. I didn't know what to say.
I was a bit hurt that he hurt me, but I didn't want him to feel guilty now that he was already hurting.
"I am sorry," he said with a slight grimace. By the way, he said it, I could tell it was something he didn't often say.
"It's alright. I wasn't sad because of you. It's just that sometimes when I am alone I miss my maids. Anyways, you should go back to bed. I am sure the maid is done." I stood up.
"It's fine. I won't be sleeping here tonight, I have somewhere else to be," he said as he too rose from his chair.
"Somewhere else to be at night? When you are hurt? You are not thinking of going to your brothers fighting again are you?"
He chuckled "If I am, what will you do to stop me?" I knew he was playing around.
"I think.." he said, walking around me and standing behind me "I should go and spend some time with my mistress," he whispered near my ear. A sudden rage filled me. This may be a joke to him, but not to me. I walked away from him, ignoring him as he called after me.
I went to my personal room and shut the door, waiting for him to come after me and say something, but he never came. He didn't come the whole night. I knew it would be like this, but I had just hoped he would be different, I thought he would be different, but he wasn't. He was just like any other man.
As I tried to sleep, I heard someone call my name. I sat up in the deathly silence, trying to hear the imperceptible noise again. It came again, but then I realized with a jolt that it was coming from inside my head. It was Lucian.
"Hazel! Hazel!" Lucian called, his voice filled with pain and agony. Was he in pain? No, he couldn't be. I couldn't be hearing this, but I heard my name again "Hazel". Maybe all this wasn't in my head, maybe he was calling for me. I climbed down from the bed, put my robe on, and stalked out of the room.
"Where is His Highness?" I asked two guards walking through the hall.
"I am sorry Your Highness, but we can't tell you. He doesn't want to be disturbed."
Disturbed? So I would disturb him?
Of course, he was having fun with his mistress, and here I am worried about him for nothing. I decided not to worry or care anymore and went back to bed.
Opening my eyes with a yawn I scanned my surroundings. Lucian was sitting in front of the mirror and a maid was combing his hair. Her fingers caressed his cheek and neck when she tried to gather some strands of his hair. I could see that she didn't touch him accidentally, she was doing it on purpose. Disturbed by her action I climbed down from the bed.
When she saw my reflection in the mirror she turned around. "Good morning, Your Highness," she said, bowing deeply.
"Good morning," I said although I had the urge to ignore her but being rude was just not my thing. "I will help His Highness; you may leave." She glanced at Lucian, waiting for him to give her a sign that she could leave, but he didn't move a muscle. Hesitating, she walked out of the room.
I went up to Lucian and stood behind him, staring at his reflection. He didn't look back at me or greet me like he does every morning. He just stared down at the book he held in his hand. Why was he behaving like this?
"Won't you comb my hair since you dismissed the maid?" He asked, still looking at the book. I got the urge to pull his hair and mess it up. Maybe I should. He deserves it for the way he was treating me right now.
"Of course," I said with the softest voice I could muster. I knew how to fix hair and many other things that princesses usually don't have to know, because I was often bored, and I would tell Lydia and Ylva to teach me.
The thing is I wasn't planning on fixing his hair but playing with it. I took the brush and started brushing his hair. It was softer and thicker than my own. How could a man have such beautiful hair? It was not the time for admiring, it was time for messing around I reminded myself. I made a few braids here and there, not caring how they looked.
"I am done," I said eagerly waiting to see his reaction. He closed the book and looked at his reflection. He frowned as I fought the urge to laugh. There was one braid in the middle, three on one side, and two on the other side. The braid in the middle is what made him look funniest. I couldn't hold it in anymore and let loose a loud peal of laughter.
Lucian got up from his seat, a serious look on his face as he turned around. He grabbed my arm and yanked me close.
"Are you playing with me now wife? You shouldn't play with fire; you will get burned," he said with a low voice. He was intimidating but he chuckled when he saw the terrified look on my face.
"No need to be scared, wife. I am just joking. Do you think you are the only one who can play around?" I pushed him away.
"That wasn't funny."
"Then is this funny?" he asked, pointing at his head and I couldn't help but laugh again.
"You shouldn't be laughing at me when your hair looks like that," he said pointing at my head. I looked myself in the mirror and gasped. I was so angry and occupied with him I didn't even look at myself. My hair looked like a bird's nest. I tried to straighten it with my hands before Lucian wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and hugged me to him.
"Still, you look beautiful," he said near my ear, "and I like the sound of your laughter. It's the first time I've heard you laugh." I wanted to give in. I wanted him to hold me and hear all those sweet things, but no. I couldn't just forget how coldly he had treated me last night. Breaking away from his hold, I crossed my arms, a defiant look on my face.
"Did you have fun last night?"
"Did you?" he asked, irritating me even further. "You seem so reluctant to sleep in the same bed as me, so I bet you slept comfortably last night." Comfortably? When he was with another woman?
"You are cruel," I said and stalked out of the room into my personal room and closed the door. This time he at least came after me.
"Hazel, open the door," he said, knocking loudly. I ignored him and decided to dress up without help.
"Hazel? I said open the door." Who cares what you say? I thought, slipping out of my nightgown.
Looking around for something to do other than open the door, I decided to take a bath, so I
went into my personal bathroom. A hot bath was always prepared every morning. Taking off my towel, I slid into the hot water just as I heard something break. Footsteps ensued. I quickly pressed my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs as Lucian walked in.
"What are you doing? How can you just walk in like that?"
"You don't leave when I am talking to you," he said flatly.
"You can do what you want, so why can't I?" I snapped. He walked closer to the bathtub and stared down at me. I felt so vulnerable. He crouched down and grabbed a strand of my wet hair in his hand. Something about the way he moved scared me. It was different as if something about him changed.
"Because you don't have the power to do so," he said. Even his voice terrified me at this moment, but I wasn't going to show it.
"What will you do? Beat me? Kill me?" I taunted, trying my best to mask my fear with arrogance.
He leaned in close to my face "How about I burn you?"
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