Chapter 143: His Past’s Conclusion
With quite a bit of excitement in her heart, Ais happily snuggled up to Isaac, relaxedly closing her eyes. Today was the day that she had been looking forward to for the entirety of the past week - she was about to re-enter that world of memories once again, for what seemed like the final time.
As she felt safest within their room and when held in his arms, the two had left his private world to spend the night in the Twilight Manor, which they had refrained from staying at for a couple of days due to their busy schedules. However, Ais' current matters had a far higher priority than achieving the most efficient training speed and perfecting their preparations for incidents that would occur in the near future.
"You might experience something unusual during this last part. Just remember, don't panic. Nothing bad can happen to you."
For the first time when it came to these trips down memory lane, her beloved whispered words of caution into her ear, causing her to open her eyes again slightly in surprise. After shooting him a questioning gaze, he only shook his head and smiled calmly.
"You'll know what I mean once you experience it."
Although she was certain that a large part of the reason for not explaining what he was talking about was his desire to avoid spoiling it for her, Ais simply heaved a sigh and nodded. There surely had to be another reason as well, and she had every confidence in his judgement. Resting her head against his chest, she glanced at the all-too-familiar cooldown that was just about to hit zero.
"Well then, I'm off."
[ Cooldown until 'Isaac's Past - Episode 7' can be experienced has finished.
You can now experience 'Isaac's Past - Episode 7'. ]
Merely a thought later, her surroundings turned into a pitch-black void that was nigh immediately parted by overwhelmingly bright rays of light.
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Not all attachments that past Isaac had to his world were that difficult to cut off. There was a way to take a shortcut for a large number of them, which he unhesitatingly made use of: To personally resolve the root causes of what had resulted in the sentiments before doing the usual and letting them go. It was countless times easier to cut them off after weakening the emotional connection first, after all.
Over the 24 years that he had been devouring the knowledge and information that his species had accumulated, he had learned of a fair number of crimes that felt entirely revolting, even to him. Most of them had been perpetrated in the past, so they weren't difficult to lay to rest permanently. However, quite a fair number of them had been committed in recent days, often with no punishment being doled out whatsoever.
Whether that be due to the incompetence and corruption of the various countries' justice systems, the skill with which the perpetrators had concealed their trails, or the fact that nearly nobody had ever even found out that these crimes had taken place, it ultimately didn't matter. Due to the information that past Isaac had gathered so far, the vast majority of the culprits, as well as their methods and deeds, were crystal clear to him. This knowledge had been a miniscule part of his reason for wanting to end his species once and for all. Even years later, he still hadn't entirely forgotten about it.
Now that he was in the process of getting rid of such sentiments altogether, however, he carried out an unprecedented purge all over the entire planet. Where it was appropriate and realistic, and where the incredibly rare few honest as well as law-abiding politicians and judges were in control, he left them to deal with the disgusting filth that had infiltrated and rotted their system nearly to its core. In other places, where the ones in power were entirely beyond any kind of redemption, he spread their deeds, as well as undeniable proof of their actions, to the populace and manipulated them into taking matters into their own hands.
But not all of the culprits of humanity's worst and most repulsive criminal offenses were influential men and women, far from it. Quite a few of them were everyday folk, and a significant portion were basically hermits, sneaking around on the edges of society every so often and eyeing their prey. All of those, his own forces could easily silence without any annoying uproars.
Past Isaac was under no illusion that he was bringing about a positive change, or doing 'something good'. He was well aware that he led multiple countries into civil wars, which would only cause more atrocities - albeit ones that were far less abhorrent than those that had been committed by the culprits that he selfishly eliminated.
By all accounts, if the amount of blood on one's hands were to determine the worst criminal, then he would have climbed into the upper-middle tier in one go. However, at least in his eyes, that was not the case. What he evaluated as the 'worst crimes' had often even only resulted in the loss of a singular life. Even more than that - sometimes, not a single person had died. The determining factor was the circumstances that those who had died, or those who had been forced to endure an existence countless times worse than the sweet release of death, had had to endure. Even the most seasoned of internet denizens would, at the very least, throw up repeatedly if they had to bear witness to these tragic fates.
At this point, past Isaac was entirely untouchable by the singular ruler of the planet. Still, he had refrained from throwing too many wrenches into that man's overall grand design. It wasn't that he agreed with it - it was fundamentally flawed - but it wasn't something he cared overly much about.
He also didn't truly bother with the consequences of his ruthless purge. They were not what he was concerned with at this point. Only the vague sentiments that he held for the culprits who had yet to be punished for their absolutely inexcusable crimes were of importance to him.
Over a period of less than a year, he managed to cut off every single one of them. He had made sure that his own forces - the soldiers and mercenaries under his command, all other staff that were affiliated with him, as well as their families and loved ones - were kept as safe as they could possibly be in the ongoing global upheaval. That was the least that he could do for them after their years of loyal service. Some of them had only followed him out of fear, others due to the money. Still, their motivations didn't really matter to him any longer. What was important was that they had followed his orders to the letter and done their jobs successfully.
As he arrived at this point in his journey to existential transcendence, a small smile suddenly played across his lips. The face of his first-ever employee, his trustworthy secretary, Emily Hopkins, had come to mind. By now, the woman was in her early forties and had three children to look after. And yet, she still reliably did her job like a trooper. To be honest, he had really lucked out when he had stumbled across her job application back then - without her, he would have had to waste a significant amount of effort on menial tasks.
In a somewhat uncharacteristic gesture, he set upon writing a letter of gratitude to Mrs. Hopkins, one which would be delivered once he laid his various enterprises in this world to rest. Of course, he also ensured that the woman and her family would experience as close to a 'happily ever after' as he could make it. Only freak accidents could possibly spoil the lives that he had laid out for them. He could confidently say that he had tried his best.
After having double-checked everything once again, past Isaac distanced himself from his numerous companies and operations, only leaving himself access to a stash of money that he had set aside to support any expenses that he might have to make. Finally, he had cut off any and all direct human connections. Even the bare necessities for his survival, nutritious food and a bit of water, were now automatically being delivered to him via certain drone networks that he had set in place.
It was incredibly difficult, but over the next year, he managed to, step by step, cut down upon the amount of information that he consumed via the internet. As one who craved knowledge and understanding, to let go of scientific exploits and worldwide news, as well as intel from various agencies and secret organizations… it hurt, it really did.
Even as a mere observer, Ais was forced to endure a constant gut-wrenching pain during this year. Multiple times, she feared that past Isaac might descend into temporary insanity, but he ultimately endured. This time, he had been unable to continue using his shortcut method, and all that was left were attachments that were anything but easy to sever - they were some of the major cores of his being! Attempting to cut them off felt even worse than continuously tearing at one's own limbs and organs. Every second of every day seemed like an hour, and the pain just wouldn't go away. Well, at first.
The mind is a curious thing. After enduring even the worst experiences imaginable for a sufficient amount of time, it will learn to dull the impact that they have on one's mind. It will develop defenses. In some cases, these will manifest in a way that simply entirely blocks out the existence of the outside threat, while in other cases, they will help the mind to gradually sharpen and mature. Of course, there is also a high probability of it breaking before either of these states are ever achieved.
In past Isaac's case, this gruesome mental torture had served to make the cutting off of all subsequent core attachments a lot easier.
He had long since abandoned the thought of keeping his physical body in its prime state, and hadn't exercised in years. The amount of food and water intake into his body had already been reduced to the absolute minimum that he needed to survive.
Regarding his reading endeavours, one by one, he finished certain authors' works, or simply stopped reading them. As might be expected, the first ones to be left behind were those with both the worst writing quality and story, followed by the ones that only disappointed in one of these categories. Then, by the time that he turned 27 years old, past Isaac had even succeeded in cutting off his attachments to some of his favourite novels and authors of all time.
Considering how he had discarded all but his life's very essentials at this point, it became clear just how important these stories had become to him over the course of his life. They had occupied the most prominent spot in his heart, and one of them had even turned into his most fundamental attachment. Upon realizing this, he couldn't help but chuckle to himself. He hadn't started out this way, not at all, but life had most certainly changed him and made him an avid reader. Admittedly, maybe one that was a little bit too avid.
Two months later, there was only a singular web novel that he was still reading religiously whenever new updates were being posted.
Another four months later, there was still only that one singular web novel that he just couldn't let go of. He had tried and failed to do so thousands of times, but its impeccable writing quality and fascinating story, one that was unlike the vast majority of others that had come before it, kept him hooked.
Yet again, four months passed. At this point, the initial frustration at having failed to cut off this attachment had already long since disappeared. In his many days of free time, he had analyzed that the story would soon come to an end - so instead of forcing himself to succeed before it did, he would wait. Once it was over, he would be able to leave it behind with a heart that was fulfilled and at ease. Should he have come to the conclusion that the epilogue was still way out of sight, then he would have indubitably soldiered on and brute-forced it. Thankfully, he didn't have to do so.
Over the next two months, past Isaac felt oddly serene. His heart had become tranquil like never before, and even the impossibly large world tree of loneliness within it had stopped in its previously unceasing growth. Maybe it was the knowledge that he would soon be capable of taking that last step and leaving this world behind that caused this change. Another possibility was that this was simply the natural state that one who had cut off the vast majority of their affections would reach.
By the time that the aforementioned epilogue of his favourite story finally hit the web, past Isaac had long since confirmed that he was capable of severing any and all fundamental attachments aside from the one that chained him to this particular literary work. However, as he would fail if he cut them off out of order, he hadn't taken these steps yet. Instead, he had patiently waited for this day to come.
"I guess it's finally time."
After finishing the last few words of the epilogue, for the first time in months, past Isaac broke the ever-present silence. As Ais observed the deathly pale, emaciated and weakened state of her beloved while he scrutinized his reflection in the mirror, a deep sadness overcame her. Although she knew that this wasn't his end, she couldn't help but feel like crying when she saw him in such a helpless, frail state. His voice was so feeble and powerless! For all intents and purposes, he appeared like he was on his deathbed.
"I've really let myself go a bit, haven't I?"
Although she knew that past Isaac was only stating the plainly obvious to himself, Ais felt the need to agree.
'Yes, you most definitely did. More than just a bit, I might add.'
Of course, she had no way to vocalize these thoughts - and even if it had been possible, then this mere recollection would still not have been capable of reacting to them in any way, shape or form. So, unsurprisingly, she was ignored.
Prepared to go forward with the final steps of his plan, past Isaac's eyes lost the last vestiges of the loneliness that had perpetually shrouded them for all these years. Any and all emotions had successfully been banished from his gaze.
"Let's see what lies beyond existence, shall we?"
His borderline mechanical voice and empty eyes were what finally drove Ais over the edge and made her cry. Or, well, attempt to cry. It wasn't like she could actually produce any bodily fluids in the peculiar state that she was in.
She was in the middle of choking on her sobs when he closed his eyes… then his thoughts abruptly disappeared. They had accompanied her all this time, but now… they were suddenly gone.
'Huh?'
Taken aback at first, Ais got distracted from wallowing in dejection because of his current mental state. She focused on what little information was still being sent her way and as the reality of what he was doing finally and truly settled in, her eyes widened in astonishment.
All of his fundamental attachments got severed one by one, in rapid succession. They put up no more resistance than withered branches to a nuclear explosion. He had already cut off his sentiments regarding sustenance like food and water half a week ago, so the first ones that had to go now were his attachments to his various senses. Afterwards, to parts of his body. And finally, even to his brain. But this wasn't where it all ended.
The human mind in this world continued to exist even once the bodily vessel was gone. It wasn't truly in the form of a soul, but relatively close in concept. So, of course, it also had to be left behind. Everything that could possibly anchor him to this world… it had to go! Connections to remnants of his conscious mind that Ais had failed to perceive? Severed. Those linking him with his subconsciousness? Severed.
If he hadn't set this process into motion before his thoughts came to a halt, then it would have been impossible to do all of this. But because he had managed to get the ball rolling beforehand, it proceeded smoothly.
Minutes after this whole final process had begun, cracks began to spread through past Isaac's body, as well as the space surrounding him. Then, all of a sudden, everything shattered.
Right at this moment, time froze to a halt and an unexpected system notification appeared before the confused Ais' eyes.
[ Warning: Your mind is currently incapable of fully perceiving or understanding parts of the primary host's experiences from this point forward.
Choose one of the following options:
1) Skip this part of the Memory Journey.
2) Continue onwards regardless.
Reminder: Any part of any episode of 'Isaac's Past' can be revisited whenever your mind has recovered sufficiently. ]
At first, there was only bewilderment. Then, it got replaced by slight indignation. Did the system really have to be this frank with her? Couldn't it have chosen nicer words? Yes, she was aware that her mind was incredibly lacking, even compared to that of a very young Isaac, but---
Suddenly, the text on the notification window changed.
[ Warning: Your mind is currently not yet ready for parts of the primary host's experiences from this point forward.
Choose one of the following options:
1) Skip this part of the Memory Journey.
2) Continue onwards regardless.
Reminder: Any part of any episode of 'Isaac's Past' can be revisited whenever your mind has recovered sufficiently. ]
Momentarily speechless at the system having instantly followed her unintentional instructions, she soon shook her head and smirked to herself.
'Please revert to the previous, default state. I don't really want to be excessively coddled.'
Her wish was the system's command.
Left with only her thoughts and the system notification hovering in front of her eyes, Ais contemplated her options. On the one hand, she didn't doubt the system's evaluation, so the most cautious and reasonable approach would be option 1. But on the other hand, she really couldn't detect any actual danger in picking option 2. Sure, she - allegedly - wouldn't be capable of understanding what was happening, but where was the harm? Isaac had guaranteed her that there wouldn't be any - and she definitely trusted the system's creator even more than the system itself. That 'unusual experience' that he couldn't explain simply in a short amount of time was sure to be connected to this choice as well.
But most importantly of all, she didn't like to do things halfway, therefore:
'I choose option 2.'
Right as her resolute mental command had been expressed, the notification disappeared and time started to flow again. Or… did it?
Wait, where was she? Where was past Isaac? Where was… anyone? Or anything? What… what was going on?
In the midst of a colourless void, a lone Ais was left behind. Wait, was she even there in the first place? She… she didn't understand! Nothing… nothing made any sense at all. It was as if all the laws of any world that she had ever experienced… were suddenly gone. As if everything had disappeared from one moment to the next.
Various disconnected thoughts, emotions and impressions assaulted her mind from past Isaac's side, both at the same time, and also at completely different times! There was information sent her way, yet she couldn't grasp any of it. There was too much of it, and yet too little. It was too easy to comprehend, and yet too difficult. It was as if everything was contradicting each other… and yet it was not.
How long had she been here? Seconds? Minutes? Days? Months? Years? Centuries? Billions of years? Did it even matter?
Was this the 'place' which 'lay beyond existence'? Was it even a place to begin with?
Her spatiotemporal perception wasn't working at all. She was used to fashioning her thoughts after it, yet it didn't work. And so, her mind couldn't properly operate. After what might have been a mere instant, or an infinite amount of time - possibly both - her mind blacked out.
When she abruptly felt coherent, 'normal' information returning to her head, past Isaac's soul was situated in a seemingly endless, pitch-black void. She knew that he was somehow present, but she couldn't really perceive him. As for the system, it had now appeared for the first time on past Isaac's end - and was asking him to input the data for this tutorial transmigration.
While past Isaac promptly filled out the blanks, a deep blush spread on Ais' cheeks. She had finally realized how exactly their initial encounter had come to be. Additionally, his reasoning behind his choices made it clear to her that quite a few of the attachments that he had previously cut off had returned. Or… had they? They were somewhat different, but they still felt familiar to her.
It was at this moment that she realized exactly what had happened - considering that she had borne witness to everything firsthand, it would have been surprising if she had actually managed to miss it. Past Isaac had only cut off any and all attachments to his old world, but not those to 'fictional characters' or worlds that weren't his own and 'didn't exist', at least according to his knowledge. These sentiments caused him to return from where he had transcended to, and combining this information with what she had heard from him previously, it all became clear. He had learned that these 'fictional worlds' weren't so fictional after all - or rather, that worlds just like them existed, somewhere out there. Because he didn't want to give up even these last attachments without exploring them first, he embarked on his journey. A journey whose first destination had been her general vicinity.
During the time when Ais had come to this realization, past Isaac's body had already reformed and was on the verge of transmigration. Inwardly, the minutely blushing observer couldn't help but complain about the fact that his body had reformed in a clothed state - so there had been no additional eye candy. On a side note, she could vaguely discern that a small tendril of his actual soul had connected to this newly reformed body, using an incredibly miniscule part of his being to power and control it. As for the greater whole? She still couldn't perceive it at all.
After the system's five second countdown finished, she got to experience their first meeting from his point of view… as well as the rest of the 45 days that he had spent in her world so far. She had known about most of his experiences during this time, but not all of them. Some of his schemes and plans were now also fully revealed to her, stunning her due to how much foresight he had shown time and time again. His feelings towards her, and how they had changed from simple affection for a fictional character that resembled her to real love for the actual her, they melted her heart. Sweet smiles blossomed on her lips time and time again.
When she finally arrived at the moment when she bade him a very temporary farewell after his slight warning and was securely nestled in his arms, this very last memory drew to a close.
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Having just shared Isaac's senses and thoughts, it felt weird for Ais' nose to suddenly register his scent instead of her own again. The sudden perspective shift felt disorienting to say the least, but it was still far easier to get accustomed to than the feeling of extreme disconnection that she would usually experience after these multiple year long journeys through the past.
For a minute or two, she silently listened to his heartbeat and calmly went over everything that she had learned and experienced once again. Finally, she came to a conclusion.
Whatever he had encountered back then was not something that she needed to worry about now, because it would simply be useless to do so. Compared to his past self before his transcendence, he had changed a lot. Even during these comparatively few days since he had entered her life, his mentality had already shifted on multiple occasions and he had grown considerably.
He really, truly loved her. There was no doubt about it. She also finally understood his concerns regarding partaking in physical intimacy of the sexual nature with her. There were far too many of them to brush them off just like that, so they should take it one step at a time.
With a gentle smile decorating her charming face, she opened her eyes, looked up at him and gave him a loving, deep kiss. She didn't give her body's instincts free rein and behaved relatively tamely, not reaching any new heights of seduction or arousal. When their lips eventually parted, she softly whispered, her aureate eyes rippling with sincerity.
"No matter how long it takes for you to be ready, I will wait for you. With eternity ahead of us, what do a few more days, or even years, amount to? Don't you dare rush into this for my sake, or I'll get angry."
Her beloved was stunned at first, then he nodded, a sheepish expression on his face. Very tenderly, he stroked her back with his hand as they silently enjoyed their embrace. To be honest, even this was already so much more than enough for her. Sure, a small but noisy part of her craved for even more love and physical affection, especially of the naughty variety, but she as a whole wasn't selfish enough to disregard the mental state of her partner just to achieve a goal of mere carnal nature.
Her immersion in their lovey-dovey cuddling waned a little when she suddenly recalled something important. She was certain that - should it be possible to do this - it would cause quite a few of the worries that Isaac still had in the back of his mind to disappear.
'System, can you convert my past into the same format as Isaac's and make it available to him?'
The response to her inquiry came immediately, but it wasn't exactly what she had hoped for.
[ Command can currently not be executed. A fully recovered mind is required for one's past to be analyzed and converted. Due to the creator's safety mechanism, a compulsory recovery period of one week has been initiated to prevent any accidents or mental repercussions. ]
[ Cooldown until 'Ais' Past' can be converted into Memory Journey format: 6 days 23 hours 44 minutes 57 seconds ]
A mixture of annoyance and amusement overcame her. Would she ever be able to escape this oh-so-familiar kind of notification? Honestly a bit disappointed, but also looking forward to the future, Ais recalled a line from a song that had been very famous in her beloved's old world and parodied it in her head.
'Hello cooldown, my old friend. I've come to stare at you again…'
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Shiro_the_Hero
Shiro_the_Hero Btw, the reason that Ais' mind is being protected right now is primarily due to her having chosen option 2. But... even if she had skipped it, she'd still have to wait a week, just to be extra safe ^^'
Yes, this is partially an excuse to not spend endless amounts of chapters in a row on backstory, especially when other stuff is going on at the moment~
When we get around to Ais' backstory, Isaac will experience it in one go, that's all that I'm going to say - his mind doesn't need the same safeguards. So, yeah, the Ais backstory arc is only a week away... not in real time, though xD
In any case, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter! \o/
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