Chapter 4: It wouldn't be stalking if...
The walk home, in a roundabout way, was how Harris ended up negotiating with Merlin for his second tweak in Joshua's life- if, by tweak, one can also mean an enormous titanic change which despite Merlin's promise that Harris wouldn't have to fight him on these things Harris did actually end up having to fight for tooth and nail.
It happened like this:
When they arrived at Joshua's flat- the images in the file on Joshua didn't really do the miserable place justice- it was peaceful. There was no shouting or crying from within, but for Harris there didn't have to be. Joshua's mother poked her head out and smiled widely, beckoning her son inside and paying very little mind to Harris. Michelle Alcott- as she had been the last time Harris saw her, on the day of her wedding- was much altered. The makeup was thick on her face, but it was her sad, choked aura that really caught Harris's attention. It had been so lovely once, and Harris could see remnants of that long ago love match, broken by a death and what had come after- because she was in a relationship now, too, and it had left parts of her aura all black and withered and wrong. There were patterns to auras that someone who understood them could read like a book, and Harris could see that Michelle's current marriage was a bad one indeed.
Joshua's expression as he caught Harris looking at his mother was complicated- defensive and slightly angry, a little sad and a lot ashamed. He probably thought Harris was taking in just her poorly concealed black eye rather than the entire history of her marriage- fine at first, full of the financial stability she had so desperately needed to raise a young son, and fun enough for her to forget her grief over Joshua's father from time to time, followed by rough patches that only got rougher, always resulting in showers of gifts and good humor that promised a never ending string of new starts, and all the while her aura was wilting, wilting, and getting sicker all the time. Harris made himself look away, focusing briefly on the top of Eliza's blonde head, a beacon of cheerful grey light.
Later, Harris would tell Merlin that Joshua's mother was the one who had needed a cupid, that it would have saved Joshua all the grief he currently suffered if she had never married Carl Anthony Fawcett in the first place. Later, Merlin would remind Harris that he of all people should know that Michelle had had her big love and that her first husband's death and all that came after had placed her out of their division's purview. He would also remind Harris that if they could ask Joshua he would probably willingly go through it all again if it meant keeping Eliza in his life.
That, Harris wouldn't be able to argue with.
In the moment, Harris conjured a smile. "I'll be on my way," he said to Joshua. "Good evening." He gave a final smile to Eliza and moved away from the door. He thought, as he slipped away, that he caught Joshua's shoulders slumping out of the corner of his eye.
It made him want to stay, made him want to never leave Joshua alone ever again, but that simply wasn't feasible.
He had work to do.
~oOo~
"I need you to get rid of the stepfather," Harris informed Merlin when he arrived back at HQ. "Full custody of the child for the mother with minimal fuss, alimony, 'and' he leaves the city- if not the country- and never comes back."
"That's a tall order, Harris," Merlin said slowly.
"Yes. And completely necessary. Joshua is young, he's kind, he's reasonably optimistic given his circumstances. He's just in the right age bracket to be thinking seriously about love, if not permanence, but he is completely grey. He's grey because he can't think about anything but protecting his family and staying alive. Not to mention that his mother's history has probably destroyed what faith in romance he might have ever actually had. So. Since you insist that he will fall in love, and soon, I must do something drastic. I cannot heal those scars by dropping some nice girl in his path. I'm not sure I can heal them at all, but I can't even start unless you help me get him away from that man."
Harris didn't need to talk to Joshua about it to know that he would never leave his mother and sister with Carl, so Harris needed the stepfather to be gone. Immediately and for good.
"Will you get that done that for me?" he asked.
Merlin sighed deeply. "Yes, Harris."
~oOo~
Over the next few weeks London became a very inhospitable place for Carl Fawcett. Harris didn't know or understand what strings Merlin pulled, but everything Harris had requested was put in motion, one thing after another.
Harris didn't try to find Joshua during that time; he thought it best that Joshua have the chance to sort through the changes in his life without Harris looming over his shoulder.
So it was truly a coincidence when Joshua walked into the same coffee shop where Harris was having his morning tea. Well- it wasn't a complete coincidence, because Harris had developed a taste for eating and drinking again because of that first meeting between them, and because Harris had also taken to frequenting places closer to where Joshua lived just to develop a presence in the area for when he would need it later, and because Joshua only had the pocket money to indulge in a coffee now and then because Carl wasn't drinking up everything the family had anymore. It was close enough, though, that Joshua saw real surprise on Harris's face.
"Hey." Joshua approached Harris's table with exaggerated casualness, his hands deep in his pockets. Still, Harris thought he must have imagined it, that Joshua deflated a little when he realized that Harris couldn't possibly have planned the two of them running into each other like this. "I ain't seen you in a while."
"Which might be odder if I had been stalking you," Harris pointed out. "Which- I'll remind you- I was not."
The reference to their last meeting warmed Joshua a little- he snorted out a laugh, at least- but he still looked unsure of himself. Harris pushed the seat across from him out with his foot, giving Joshua an enquiring look. Joshua slouched immediately into the chair. He crossed his arms over his chest, evidently still embarrassed- which, on Joshua, tended to look resentful.
"How are you?" Harris asked instead of remarking on it.
"Okay," Joshua said.
"And Eliza?"
That warmed Joshua a little bit more. He unfolded, sat up straighter, even smiled as he talked about her making a few new friends at the park in their new neighborhood. Apparently, Merlin had added in an additional financial windfall for the family without any bullying from Harris. Harris smiled at the thought.
Joshua's aura still looked entirely grey, but he seemed a great deal easier in himself even if he did still act a little suspicious of Harris. It was odd, how Joshua would seek him out, as if he wanted Harris's attention but felt threatened by it at the same time. Joshua was going to have to get comfortable enough with Harris to let him into his love life a little- when he had one, that was- and the only way Harris knew of to make him so was by being patient, non-threatening, and present for as long as it took. He would find a way to do that. He 'would.'
"I'm glad she's doing well," Harris said, meaning it whole-heartedly, and Joshua seemed to get more relaxed still.
A woman from behind the counter arrived then with Joshua's coffee. Her aura was the grey just tinged with pink that Harris usually associated with someone who had gotten over a bad breakup and was only just beginning to think she could get close to someone again- and right under Harris's eyes she gave Joshua a very speculative look.
"Let me know if you need anything else," she told him with enthusiasm.
Joshua cleared his throat the moment she was gone, faint color lighting his cheeks, and his eyes flicked to Harris several times with uncertainty lighting them.
Perhaps Joshua wanted to talk to her a bit more. The place was empty, and she certainly seemed as though she might enjoy a little flirtation with a good looking young man. She wouldn't register Harris enough to be embarrassed to do so in front of him- but Joshua very well might be. Serendipitously, Harris was also finished with his tea and it was about the time of day he usually checked on one of his other- much simpler- charges, a woman a little older than Joshua- called Mary- who had just become engaged to the woman of her dreams.
Briefly, Harris considered giving the passing interest a little nudge, encouraging it to blossom, but changed his mind. If she and Joshua were a good match it would reveal itself in time, Harris was sure of that much. Best not to rush things so early.
"I'm terribly sorry," Harris said. "But I have to be going." He reached out and touched Joshua's shoulder. He flinched slightly, instinctually, and Harris didn't withdraw, just let his hand rest there lightly until Joshua relaxed underneath it.
Joshua must have read Harris's reaction to his reaction on his face, because he immediately said, "He's gone," and then flushed as it occurred to him that Harris might not have any idea what he was talking about.
Harris smiled and gently rubbed Joshua's arm. "I'm glad."
He let his hand slide lightly down Joshua's forearm toward his elbow, and was startled when Joshua gripped his hand, threading their fingers together, and said, "It wouldn't be so bad, yeah?"
"What?" Harris asked, blinking.
"If… if you was stalking me."
Harris blinked, surprised. Joshua was such a nice boy once you got past the chip on his shoulder. It was difficult to believe that he could be as bad at making friends as Harris was. "But it would be rather less like stalking," Harris pointed out slowly. "If I had permission." Joshua's eyes flickered away from his, focusing on the grain of the table as though it had suddenly become fascinating to him. "But… perhaps if I said that I'd like to see more of you…"
"I'd like that too," Joshua agreed, almost too quickly.
Harris squeezed his hand. "As would I."
Joshua drew his hand away, sharply enough that Harris supposed it had finally occurred to Joshua how the two of them looked. The girl who worked here- she was hovering now behind the counter- was unlikely to think anything of it, but Joshua didn't know that. Harris cleared his throat and gave him some space, tossing his umbrella from hand to hand and backing off.
"Here," Joshua said, quickly again, rushing through the word like he was afraid he'd never get it out otherwise. He held a napkin in his hand, a phone number hastily scribbled across it with a pen Harris hadn't even known Joshua had.
"Thank you," Harris said, mouth dry. He hesitated, then reached out and took the napkin. Their fingers brushed as he did so and Harris kept from shuddering by sheer force of will alone. Joshua, on the other hand, did react. His hand trembled slightly and something in his eyes went soft.
Harris took his time reaching for Joshua, and when he touched Joshua's shoulder that time there was no flinch. Something Harris couldn't identify felt like it was squirming inside the cage of his ribs. He took a breath to calm it and managed to say, "Good day." He squeezed Joshua's shoulder once more and then released him, making his way to the door.
There he paused and glanced behind him. The girl behind the counter- Dianna, her nametag read- was still watching Joshua with a thoughtful gleam in her eye, and Joshua…
Harris thought that just maybe he saw a tiny touch of pink in his aura too.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
CaitlynRaines
CaitlynRaines Power stones for the June 17-30 Contest please?
Chapter 5: Thinking of You
In the following weeks, Harris kept his promise to see more of Joshua as much because he had discovered that he genuinely liked being around him as because he needed to in order to do his job. Joshua became a regular fixture in Harris's life- first with just a walk here and a coffee or tea there, maybe once or twice a week, and then more and more often, until Harris saw or spoke to Joshua at least every other day.
Harris had been alive for more than a century, so he looked at time differently than mortals did- but even so he was amazed when he discovered that several months had passed almost without his even realizing it.
It occurred to Harris while he was in the Archive, waiting with a dozen or so other cupids to file some paperwork with the front desk.
The Archive was run by a man- well, an angel, technically- called Valentine, and though Arthur, the head of Harris's branch, might have been his immediate boss Valentine was the final authority. Harris or Merlin or any of their colleagues could check files in and out, but they were always returned to the Archive. In the bookcases that spiraled upward into infinity above the circular room containing the front desk were the files of every human being, alive, dead or as yet unborn. Some were slender like Joshua's had been when Harris first received it. Others were hundreds of pages long, thick with annotations. Others still were closed, belonging to those who had not been matched and never would be. Only Valentine knew the location and contents of every single file.
Harris did not envy him his job.
As Harris waited, he looked up at those bookcases and wondered, for the first time, about his own file. It had always been up there, somewhere, but it had never before occurred to Harris to think about what it contained. He could remember so little about his life as a man. It had never really seemed to matter before.
For a moment, though, he did wonder- and for some reason that made him think of Joshua.
Without thinking about it, Harris paged through his contacts list and called him. As Harris sat there and listened to it ring, a fellow cupid- looking very smart in his black suit- gave Harris an odd look. No one made phone calls in the Archive, because no one had anyone to call- and because cupids normally just faded out of existence until they were called to the front desk, no one really got bored. Harris couldn't explain it to himself, but the idea of drifting like that, of becoming even less real than he had already was, had begun- of late- to fill him with unease.
Harris realized that he had felt that way since he met Joshua. He realized, too, how long ago that had been. He had spent half that time with other charges and got twice as much done- and yet, between all the time he was spending with Joshua and his work with his other charges, the weeks had passed so quickly.
When all of that occurred to him, Harris panicked briefly and hoped Joshua wouldn't answer, but after the third ring he did.
"Hey, Harris," Joshua said. "What's up?"
Harris had yet to figure out what to do with that phrase. He let out a long breath, gut turning over. Joshua's voice made everything that had seemed so calamitous a moment ago not so bad after all, but Harris had an idea that that wasn't a good thing. However much Harris told himself that Joshua's aura was still more grey than red, that it wouldn't do to rush with someone like him, he knew he still should have made more progress by now and he couldn't lose sight of that fact. He couldn't let himself stagnate. "I'm waiting in line to file some paperwork," he said.
"Tailors do a lot of paperwork?"
"You might be surprised," Harris said.
"Not hard to imagine that," Joshua replied, tone relatively light. "Don't know nothing about being a tailor, me." He was silent for a moment. "So you- uh- just called to call?"
"I suppose," Harris said, so surprised to realize that- though he had never done so before- it came very easily that it didn't for a moment occur to him to lie. "I was thinking of you, so I called. But I would like to see you later. If you were… amenable."
"Yeah, 'course," Joshua said. His voice seemed somehow strangled, and when he spoke again he rushed through it in that way he often did: "You did promise you'd take me through the National Gallery."
"I did, didn't I?" Harris agreed quietly.
Given how different they were, Harris would have expected more difficulty in finding things that they both enjoyed, but actually it had all gone very smoothly. Since it was ostensibly the source of their original acquaintance, Harris had at first talked a bit more about Joshua's father, but though he seemed naturally curious on the subject it had struck Harris that Joshua wanted to put that topic behind them for good. Harris had been more than willing to accommodate him, especially when he discovered how very easy Joshua could be talk to and spend time with.
Joshua always seemed fascinated by Harris's- much edited- stories and his- often personal- knowledge of history, and Harris was likewise interested in Joshua's fresh, endlessly surprising perspective. Harris had always had a taste for the finer things, and unlike many of his colleagues he had refused to let himself get out of touch with pop culture, but he hadn't realized how much joy had gone out of it all for him until he had Joshua to share it with. Harris's supernaturally limitless pocketbook was more than happy to indulge both of them in that regard once Joshua had started to let him- expanding their outings to trips to museums or the occasional play or film Joshua expressed an interest in.
He had learned so much about Joshua in that time. That he had a love of learning which had been dimmed by his somewhat haphazard education, but which flared to life with just a little tending. That he would rather see an old musical than a superhero movie any day of the week. That he could find joy in the smallest, strangest things- like being caught in the rain without an umbrella, not that with Harris he ever was, or laughing his way through giving impenetrable directions to tourists.
Unfortunately, one thing that Harris hadn't learned about Joshua was how his taste in romantic partners might run, and since that was the whole point of the exercise Harris couldn't help being angry with himself when he realized how much time had passed so fruitlessly.
Joshua's voice cut into Harris's frustrated train of thought. "This afternoon, maybe?"
"I would like that," Harris said, and however else Harris might have been feeling at the moment, it was completely true. From the front desk, Valentine hailed him. "I have to go, Joshua. But how does… two o'clock sound?"
"Yeah. I'll be at home."
"All right," Harris agreed, starting to smile even though Joshua couldn't see him. "Goodbye."
"Bye."
Harris pocketed his phone and made his way to Valentine's enormous desk. Valentine wasn't alone, though he rarely was; Teresse was seated on his desk, her back resting against a rather precarious looking stack of files, polishing one of her prosthetic limbs. Her eyes narrowed when she saw Harris. "Cionus," she said. "You've been making a lot of work for me lately." Teresse had a certain twist to her mouth that made her always look annoyed and amused at once, so it was difficult for Harris to tell how inconvenienced she really felt.
Teresse was essentially a messenger. It was her job to ferry requests between the different branches, so everything Harris had pushed Merlin into requesting over the last few weeks had gone through her, which was a lot of work indeed. Still, everyone knew that she and Valentine adored each other and were tiptoeing around a courtship, so really Harris saw it as doing them both a favor. Accordingly, he flashed her guileless smile.
She rolled her eyes, but Harris caught a gleam of humor in them.
"Anything major for me today, Big C?" Valentine asked.
"Not really," Harris replied. "Beyond the minor flirtation with a woman in a café that I already logged, nothing. He's had a great many changes in his life-" Harris inclined his head to Teresse- "and it will take some time for them to settle." Harris felt like he was making excuses for his own benefit as much as theirs, because really he should have made more progress by now.
He had no more idea of what kind of person Joshua might be interested in meeting, in loving, than when he had first been given Joshua's file, which outlined a few back alley fumbles with people he hardly knew, other sexual encounters that were even less romantic, and no indication of Joshua having a type whatsoever. And Harris knew that even if by some miracle he stumbled on someone perfect it wouldn't be easy to steer potential subjects Joshua's way- while clearly visible to Joshua- without making him uncomfortable. Harris suspected that this was exactly why his kind were invisible to mortals in the first place.
Valentine nodded and noted 'nothing in particular' down without questioning what most people would probably consider overzealous filing on Harris's part. It made sense in his own mind, but he hesitated to explain it to anyone else; he wasn't sure he would be able to. He knew it was no one in particular's fault that their "system" had failed Joshua, but the more Harris got to know him, the more he wanted to blame someone. Joshua could be sullen and prickly, but he was also sweet, selfless, and blessed with an optimism that few people who had had only half the bad luck he had would have been able to maintain. When he first met Joshua, Harris had been troubled by his aura and slim file on principle- partially because Joshua's parents had been his own match, but more because no one deserved to slip through the cracks. Now that Harris knew Joshua better, he found it positively infuriating- so if he overcompensated slightly by putting every little thing that happened or didn't happen in his file, Harris thought it was more than justified.
Then again, perhaps Valentine did understand. He definitely seemed to when he said, "You're doing right by him. That boy."
"I certainly hope so," Harris said.
Teresse shot him a knowing look from beneath the fringe of her bangs, but Harris had no idea what, precisely, she thought she knew. Harris kept his curiosity to himself, however. It was best, he had learned, not to try to fathom Teresse. "Thank you," he said to Valentine, and smiled.
"Any time." Valentine smiled back broadly. "And good luck."
As he made his way out of the Archive, Harris thought he heard Teresse mutter, "You need it," and Valentine shush her and laugh softly, but he ignored them, checking his watch absently. He had an hour and a half before he was meant to meet Joshua, and while he could technically just appear there with no need to worry about lateness, and though he had certainly returned Joshua to his new flat enough times to make the journey in his sleep, Harris had something he wanted to do first.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS
CaitlynRaines
CaitlynRaines
Power stones for the June 17-30 Contest please?
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