Chapter 70: You need to fight 70
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As I lay there in the damp dark cell I wonder who has done this to me. Then I hear a familiar voice.
"How are you feeling my love."
"Jillian is that you?"
"Yes, my love it is me. When did you first drink the tea I sent?" she asked.
"You sent it why?"
"Because you can love only me. I have loved you since I was a child. Why do you think I kept close to you. I did what you liked to do and went where you went. Then because of that ugly whore of a boy you push me away."
"Jillian help me. I need the mulling berries."
"How long has it been?" She asked.
"I started drinking it the day before I got here. Are you happy." I yell.
Being close to her was making me uncomfortable. I wanted her to leave me along. I know it was the tarnell root doing this.
"I'll have to keep you locked up a few more days till you hate that boy with all your heart and only have love for me." She said.
"Listen carefully if I don't get the mulling berries I won't only hate Lae but you as well. I feel a disgust seeing his face and with hearing your voice. If you don't want me to hate you then give me the berries."
"I don't believe you. I'll be back with some supplies so you won't die in here. But you should know this, No one ever comes to this prison area. I found it by accident once. So don't plan on leaving."
I listen as she walked away. I can't see my hand in front of my face it is to dark. I can see flashes of light once in a while from a small window high above me. I think it is raining.
I sit there and think. If Daisy was near could she hear my voice. But she is back in Grey Castle and also someone I really never want to see again.
No these feelings are wrong and I know it but it makes me uncomfortable to think differently.
I then here a voice that is like a stabbing pain.
'Ax can you hear me?'
The voice is Lae's. He is here but it is very uncomfortable to hear his voice so I can not answer.
I lay there screaming for help.
"My son why are you acting this way." A voice is heard.
"Who is it?" I say.
"We have never met in person but I know you well. You need to fight the madness. Someone you love will find you."
"I love no one right now. Everyone is better off staying out of my way."
"That is not true. Look into your heart and fight for the light there. The berries are not needed if you find the heart."
"I don't understand." I say.
"You are a stubborn boy. Always have been. Stop talking and look for the light in the darkness."
I close my eyes and look. I see a sexton. How I could use a sexton right now? Then I see someone with one. He looks familiar.
I walk into my room back in Grey Castle and I see him holding the sextant looking out at the stars.
I walk over and wrap my arms around him. "You figuring it out?"
"I not sure what the measurements mean but I can line the north star and the moon up with the horizon like you said."
"Well this here, times this here, time the speed you want to go will tell you how long it will take to reach that point."
He leaned back into me, "So you need mathematics to use it. That is something I can't do."
"I could teach you."
"Maybe later right now I need to figure out us and how to save you and what from." he said.
My heart beats fast then The scene changes. We are walking down the hall.
"The work is easy so far. But being a thief is more fun." I see him smirked.
Then I surprise him and push him up against the wall, "The only thing you can steal now is a kiss." I said and then I kissed him. I did not want to stop as he placed his arms around my neck and the kiss deepened. I could not really control myself.
My heart is now racing. Then we are in my office.
"How many men have you slept with?"
I watched as his face went pale. "Does it matter?"
"Please be honest with me. I need to know."
"I don't know. A lot. I was forced to work for two years from 14 to 16 to keep my sister safe. I told you at 16 I was given the choice for whoring or stealing. I chose to be a thief because I hated being a whore."
"Claude said you were very good at your job. Is that true?" I had to ask.
"I had to be. After the first few times of the pain of being forced, I found that if I controlled them then it was a lot better on me. I got to know the best way to satisfy the men that paid that bastard to sleep with me. I never got a single jewel for going through all of that pain and suffering."
My heart then breaks but is still is filled with love.
I then see him hurt and on deaths door. I can never forgive myself for letting him get hurt. My heart is beating so fast that I feel like it will burst right out of my check and I call out "Laevigatae my love save me."
I collapse onto the damp floor. I love Laevigatae my single white rose. I need him so we both will be happy. I need Daisy so our family will be one. I need both my fathers.
The love I feel for them comes flooding back into my heart. The tarnell root is no longer working but I still feel the hate growing for Jillian for doing this to me.
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