An Avenger) well he would’ve been at least until depression.
Hey....come.....Along with the unaudiable sounds of Tony Speaking The Spartan was lost in thought for a rare occasion the spartan thought back to a time when he was on missions for the UNSC.
FLASH BACK(Briefly)
Flashes of Blood and gore.
The red blood of comrades mixing with the Blue blood of the covenant enemies he'd killed.
Flashes of The death of people both close and distant to him
The Vibrant colors of the world spiraling through his mind
"So what do you think" and just like that he was back to his senses.
"Mhmm impressive " came his response dead as could be.
"come on that's all you have to say well then whatever wait till you see the team now that'll get you worked up one way or another."
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...
.....
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30 minutes later
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After walking into what looked like a training facility Showing all kinds of equipment that could be used to either work out with.
....END OF CHARTER DUE TO SEVERE hatred of writing ✍️
.....Na but in all seriousness I've been re reading my blushing fanfic and I mean I can see the charm in it but I know it could be so much better if I would just take my time.
Now I've had a lot of time and I know you were all expecting more after my drama with school ending unfortunately I'm now in a different school with a similar situation also I seem to be getting sick a lot lately.
Anyway I have a few essays to write like two or three along with some other assignments I need to do sigh oh my god I hate fucking school I really do although I know it helps people be less stupid but frick I mean gosh come on why sigh it seems all I do is complain about it S...I...G...H. I wonder why I do that I don't even sigh 😔 anywho I've noticed how much people like my stories but to be honest I've never been interested in becoming an author until recently but I feel like a wave of pressure falling on me I used to just not give a shit about anything until I got a girlfriend and now everything is so stressful yet she makes me happy even after it's become so very hard to meet her since transferring to another school every time I think about all the missed opportunities to be with her and make her happy and laugh I tear up and feel like tearing the hairs from my scalp I just wanna shout and yell.
Yet all I do is lay in my bed not making any noise I feel myself slipping at times I've created so many illusions within my own mind I sometimes can't even distinguish what real anymore.
My dreams have been getting very vivid and detailed yet my memories still seem to be shat basically C..R...A...P ..I lose my train of thought only to remember in the most random of moments.
Also I get off topic quite easily, it feels like running around in circles not being able to find a way out and it's made me stop reacting and responding to things I feel so empty at times drained of emotion of energy.
I have moments where I dream of a happy future with possibly lots of children yet there are times where I can't picture anything I just feel hopelessness I feel stupid writing this as I realize now that people I know will possibly read this and that makes me quite uncomfortable I don't need to be pitied I don't quite know what I want all I know is being a teen sucks I can only imagine what it's like when I finally have to grow up....FYI I'm 18 so I'm practically already supposed to be mature yet I just feel Dull and lifeless.
I want to experience things and go crazy but there's always that limit the world places on me my choices place on me, my morals place on me.
My advice for people is to not jump into a relationship half hazard like.
Relationships are important and being a good friend also is I feel like I lack the ability to be a close friend to anyone I have no close friends to properly converse with so I do so with strangers and well it's been interesting but my fear always holds me back I prefer to listen but I do add a bit of flavor and input to the conversation.
Wait what the f.u.c.k. I just realized I'm writing personal s.h.i.t again sigh.... I've done this I'm not sure how many times and I've had to erase it all again and again day after day maintenance after month possibly even for years.
I'm lost again where was i, I can't recall.
THE FUTURE OF THIS STORY.
Ahh this story yes I'm unsure what to do I can't seem to invest my time into a story that I ruined by half hazardously creating just like my 25 other story's I've created on this app I wonder if I should even upload the rest of my stories.
The limits is 20 but i think that's a new update cause I only just encountered it.
Again losing my focus let me see I might just go to another website and try again this time cut myself away from my readers and try not to expose to nearly 200,000 people my inner thoughts, well if they even are my inner thoughts by tomorrow.
Today or tomorrow as it were I have assignments due and I can't seem to find the strength to finish them.
So maybe the train of depressing thoughts will progress onwards tomorrow I just hope that another me hurry's along and is created I've had to many different train of thoughts and honestly being a lazy good for nothing who doesn't care about anything is basically to lazy to be depressed or stressed was well I suppose the right word would have to be easy I had no emotional baggage nothing to pointlessly stress over I could just divert my entire life into doing absolutely nothing.
Hmm maybe this is what all teens go through hard to tell seeing as most would probably not be so open about their thoughts as I am yet the ambiguity of no one truly knowing me or well also my actual identity feels amazing I need not worry about people judging me which is funny because I somehow still felt judged when reading comments.
God reading comments and responding was fun.
S.Hit I think I may actually be reconsidering some thought my mind feels more clear after writing all this down although it is getting late and I've already forgotten what I've been writing I remember thinking about giving up and just stoping all my projects but to be honest I can't believe it but I feel motivated enough to probably publish this along with possibly rewriting my works and continuing on my stories.
I have so many fantastic fan fiction even one that was inspired by a reader of mine known as .
creator_of_worlds he was nice enough to go on discord and give me thoughts for a modern warfare fanfic it was so good but Webnovel's limit actually stopped me from creating it and I lost the paper I had scribbled my notes on. 😔 Sigh
Hmm so yep it's getting late and I may or may not be called to the counselors office and or be threatened with expulsion again if I do not do my work.
How motivating really I feel the love guiding me ....that's my attempt at sarcasm I'm real bad except for when I'm unconsciously doing it it's weird I have zero recognition of what sarcasm is most of the time.
Alright so umm depending on my mood I guess I'm still on hiatus just now it's prolonged with brief moments and I mean brief moments like real brief of me possibly updating and or adding chapter I really like my fanfic with Edward Richthofen in Marvel god did listening to hours of his quotes drive me insane I kept expecting a different outcome yet not really knowing what the out come was I was totally going insane until I believe i was unstable enough to properly represent his character if I wasn't just tell me I can probably fix that after a bit more time.
Alright enough jeeze lol alright um I hope some one that reads my bullshit will be inspired to not write bullshit and make a awesome story for me to read, and don't take your sweet as time you lazy bastards lol na take your time trust me it's important to go back and re read it after proper night's rest and after reading a proper grammatically correct book.
Oh shit my essay on a book for my class DAMN god I'm dying of stress all over again.....hmm think of ...ah much better alright where was I ah yes trying so very hard to just not care about stuff and things.....hm
Bye y'all I'm gonna I don't know lol .
Neoptolemus Melanthios out ...Melanthios was the original name I just changed it to melanthias.
The end I hope.
Oh god I had pressed next so as to upload this then it glitched out and kicked me off the app luckily everything is still here alright now it's time to publish.
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