Chapter 1: Symphonic Dysfunction- BTS AU
The cavernous walls of the hallway seemed stifling and cramped this morning. Namjoon usually found solace in the sound of his shoes click clacking across the tile, reverberating and filling the empty hall as if the acoustics were built for him. A far cry from the Performing Arts Center that his father had conducted at, with its slatted panels that shifted and directed the sound offstage as if the world was his music box for just a few minutes. Still, he was grateful for what he had here at the YONSEI. Even if the Auditorium practically rattled, he would make the best of it. Even if 'the best of it' included having his kids play their concert in the hallway outside so they could understand how it feels to hear and be heard. The first hour or so that Namjoon was at school were hardly his favorite of the day but they were definitely moments of silence that he cherished. As an interim conductor of 3 string Orchestras, a full symphony, and his part-time student status as he grapples to juggle his final semester toward his Masters degree in Conducting, he has little time to himself.
Running a hand over his face, he wipes his eyes and lets out a yawn as he finally rounds the bend to the fine arts hall. Why they stuck my parking space all the way over by the gym with the coaches, I will never know. Namjoon made it a point to avoid the coaches at all cost after their altercation over funding in the fall. How many soccer jerseys can one team need that we don't even have room in the budget for a proper score library? Coach Wonho, a rookie soccer coach who everyone took a shining to because of his reputation as a former starter for the South Korean Olympic team, assumed upon meeting Namjoon that he was a fellow coach. An easy misconception to adopt largely because of Namjoon's towering height, youth, and physical fitness, however Mr.Kim was quick to correct his colleague. Ever since Namjoon told Wonho exactly where he could go to find his precious special edition cleats for his team, the two had not necessarily been on good terms.
Regardless, Mr.Kim continued to plow on and was already being thrust into his 2nd semester as Orchestra director for the YONSEI University symphony program. Mrs. Eun Joo had been very pregnant at the beginning of last year's fall semester and had left on her 3 month maternity leave. 3 months turned into 6 months which turned into her resignation as word spread of the paternity of her child. Wonho walked around like he was the most virile man in South Korea for months afterward. The Dean, of course, caught wind and every member of faculty was greeted at the beginning of the term with a flowery email filled with sheepish wording that said in no uncertain terms: don't fuck your coworkers. Especially the married ones.
Inadvertent as his employment was, he loved it nonetheless. The chief reason that you could tell that Mr. Kim Namjoon loved nothing more in his life than his job was the smile that could be seen on his face whenever he saw one of his kids. The visible change as his chest swelled with pride, his eyes brightened, and his legendary dimples appeared was infectious. Each student carried that energy and confidence with them throughout their day because when that pride is directed at you, there can be no doubt in your mind that it is genuine and deserved. Of course, he can only call them his 'kids' in his head since in reality, there are quite a few members who are considerably older than he is.
Checking his watch, Namjoon winces at the time. 7:45am. Right on time for sectionals. With a concert date looming, Namjoon decided to buckle down and have the kids lead student taught sectionals for his struggling club students. Led by the Chamber top group, of course, the advanced students would instruct the non-major students who were merely in the Camerata Orchestra for something to be involved in, with drills and practice techniques to level up in their musicianship. As lovely as an idea that Namjoon remains convinced that it was, since its inception about 2 weeks ago, it has gone less than smoothly. The first Monday sectional featured the section leader of the violas abandoning their Little's altogether upon hearing them screech out the opening chord of their Telemann. That Wednesday, the 1st violin first stand knocked over what had to have been the tiniest freshman girl on campus in their attempt to rock paper scissor who gets to play the tuning note. Oh, and the poor dear that told Hobi he should 'lighten up'. I honestly don't know if she's going to pick up a bass ever again.
It was now the following Friday and it was time for none other than the cello sectionals. The previous week they had gone fairly well under the guidance of Park Jimin, and Namjoon saw considerable improvement of the Camerata group's G major 3 octave scales in rehearsal. They were working hard and there was no doubt that the reason for the improvement was Jimin's skill paired with Taehyung's sheer magnetic approachability. And his smile, of course his smile. As talented a cellist as Jimin is, Kim Taehyung could make the devil feel comfortable in a church. Of course it helps that many of the freshman girls were absolutely infatuated with him. And with good reason, it must be said.
Fumbling with his belongings at the big double doors of the Orchestra hall, Namjoon goes red in the face as he drops his keys. Again. He's had a set of keys for the Orchestra Hall since his sophomore year as a student. He was in the room more than the instructors so Eun Joo-nim finally caved and printed her annoying little try-hard a copy.
His father had told him that he should never do something he enjoyed as a job because it would soon become a chore, however, he was never happier than he was now. The job came with its difficulties of course, he got very little respect from the rest of the staff. Namjoon tried to remain patient with those who condescended to him, he really did. He fully understands how ludicrous and humiliating it must be to have a department head who has only been able to drink alcohol legally for 3 years. At 22, he was the youngest faculty member by a long shot, but that didn't bug him at all. Having graduated high school at 16, 3 years ahead of his peers, he was comfortable with being the youngest in the room. What made Namjoon uncomfortable was the assumption that he was inherently less than qualified just because of his age. 'If I'm a shitty conductor, then I'm a shitty conductor but don't you dare pin that on my age.'
"Good morning Mr.Kim!", the proud bearer of a boxy, bouncy smile swoops down and picks up Namjoon's keys for him. Namjoon can't help but melt a little as Taehyung grins at him as if he's never been happier to see someone in his entire life. Taehyung is blissfully unaware of his slightly dishevelled state, touting sweatpants with one leg rolled halfway up his shin, a massive hoodie that he stole from his older brother, ashen hair that stuck straight up the back of his head, and a sleep-puffed face.
"Good morning Taehyungie,", Namjoon indulges, as he swings the door wide for Taehyung to accommodate his cello. "And don't call me Mr. Kim."
"Yah, Tae! Hold the door!" From down the hall, an undeniably beautiful man cartoonishly speedwalks to the door, laden with a stack of papers that makes the broad man look tiny.
"Good morning, Jin!" Tae chimes once again.
Chest heaving, Jin storms into the office door that sits adjacent to the front entrance of the Orchestra Hall and sets the papers down with a huff.
"Yah! You call this maknae 'Mr.Kim' but all I get is "Good morning, Jin"? You should be ashamed, how can you treat your hyung like that? Worse still, your concertmaster? I bust my ass making sure we have scores and assignments and all I get is-" Jin's half-hearted, bemused tirade is cut off as abruptly as it begins as another boy enters the room, the door yawning shut behind him.
"Kim Namjoon. Kim Seokjin. Kim Taehyung." His soft voice renders any harsher tone obsolete and the boys stare at the smaller boy blinkingly as he takes up the remaining space in the office. As if answering their unspoken question he stifles a yawn and mumbles, "You're all "Mr.Kim".'
The tirade quieted, Jimin rolls his case to his section and begins unpacking his cello. A stark difference from his stand partner, Jimin is the picture of elegance. Or as elegant as a 21 year old man can get. His honey colored hair perfectly in place, dressed simply in a loose collared shirt and ripped dark jeans, Taehyung continuously found himself captivated with the effortless way that Jimin presented himself. 'I wish I could be that cool.' Looking down at his own clothes, he mentally kicks himself for not putting in more effort on a day to day basis. 'That's just not where my energy goes,' he reconciles with himself, 'I'm concerned with other things.'
Taehyung crosses the hall to the cello locker room, fetches his cello case, and returns to take his place next to Jimin as second chair. Jimin frets over his cello, rosining his bow, tuning and re-tuning, ensuring his music is in the right order. Glancing over at Tae, who is busying himself with plucking out chords in an attempt to play a double stop that he hasn't yet heard, Jimin grows envious of Tae's care-free nature. 'I wish I could just fly into things like Tae does, without a plan. It would save me so much trouble.'
All too aware of the silence that has settled in the hall since he stopped his plucking, Tae clears his throat to cut the awkward tension. The most unsettling thing is silence in a place that is supposed to be filled with noise.
"So what are we going over in sectionals with the Little's today?"
"Tae, you can't call them Little's, Jeong Jae-Sun is a year older than us."
"But. But. He's so… Little!" Tae pouts. "Have you seen his bow hold? He might be able to knock me out in one punch and outdrink… well, you; but he has the bow hold of a 6th grade girl."
"Yeah I know Tae, I was tempted to bring thumbtacks to fix our Yoo Soo Jin's collapsing wrist. If they keep playing like this, they're going to hurt themselves."
Jimin falls silent and rubs his wrist, empathetic pain from his own tendonitis flaring at the memory of their poor posturing. 'I got hurt, and I was playing correctly.' Jimin had played violin since he was 3 and while he was training for his audition for Julliard his sophomore year, he worked so tirelessly that he developed carpal tunnel syndrome and couldn't play for months. The beginning of the end of his promising violin career.
Namjoon takes long strides out of his office to his place on the podium before chuckling, "First of all, no one could ever out drink our Jiminnie. Second of all, I'm glad you're showing so much concern for the well being and progress of our kids because we're having an emergency rehearsal Saturday and I need you there if you can make it."
Tae heaves a great dramatic sigh and throws his head back, sinking down into his chair until the neck of his cello is resting on the back of his chair. "And if I can't make it?"
Namjoon sobers a bit and faces Tae, "Then I completely understand, but I do hope you can make it. You make the kids more comfortable. They love you."
Jimin bends to set his end pin up and then hoists his cello up onto his shoulder, "Besides, what do you have planned? You practically live here."
"That's pretty rich coming from the one that I found sleeping in a practice room at 4am last week." Tae shoots back in mock defense.
"Yeah, and what were you doing by the practice rooms at 4am last week?" Jimin wheedles.
Tae's face falls when he sees that he's been beat. "...Practicing."
Jimin's face brightens into a smug shit eating grin and his posture screams an explicit, check mate.
Tae, already embarrassed at being outed hangs his head over his cello and absently picks at the rosin build up under his bridge. Face reddening at the anticipation of the ribbing to come, Tae mumbles, "I have a date on Saturday."
Jin materializes from thin air next to the podium and begins shouting about how "this girl better not break your heart" and "make sure you stay safe, use protection, you don't know what these hoes got" and "oh lord, he's just a kid. Don't you think you should wait a while to date again?"
Namjoon raises a hand to silence Jin and melts further at the visibly mortified maknae in front of him. Leaning down to where they meet eye to eye, he smiles affectionately at Tae. "Well, who is it?"
Tae, grateful for the reprieve in shouting, allows his smile to fall open once more and his cheeks redden in a very different tone as he recalls the object of his infatuation. 'I can't believe I got this lucky. Years of pining and I finally got her to say yes to a date. A real date.'
"Chung So-Young." Jimin could tell from the lilting way Tae hung onto every vowel in her name as if he were afraid to let go of them, that he was head over heels for her.
"Oh, the saxophone player from Jazz Band? I thought she was with Hobi?" Jin pops Tae's love sick bubble without remorse.
Visibly pouting, Tae snaps back, "Look, if I swore off being interested in any girls that Hobi-hyung has been with then I would never date anyone. I don't have many options as it is since Kang Mo-Yeon turned the entire Yonsei English Society against me. And I really like this girl."
Jin returns to the office, fuming. Shutting the door firmly behind him, he lasts a good 3 seconds before whipping it back open and marching back to the cello stand. Tae might have been intimidated by the massive man barreling towards him with rage in his eyes had it not been for the knowledge of his intent. Jin comes to a halt and in a deluge of profanity begins cursing anything that has to do with Kang Mo-Yeon and the YES club. "How dare she cheat on you and then convince half of the campus that you're the jackass?! Tae-Tae?! You couldn't hurt a fly! You're a jackass but you're OUR jackass and if she publishes one more vaguely accusatory article in the English Paper I will single handedly drag her ass-"
"Jin-hyung." the honorific coming from Namjoon is enough to give Jin reason to pause. Namjoon jerks his head to the door and the herd of cellists that are gathering around it, waiting for the sectional to begin. "There's a time and a place. They don't all need to know his business." Turning to Tae, he places his hand on top of Tae's mop of hair and smiles down at him. "Have fun on your date. Just know that there will be a legion of cellist noonas absolutely heartbroken that their handsome oppa isn't there to show them thumb position for the upteenth time." Laughing at the sheepish flush that graces the boys cheeks once again, Namjoon adds, "Oh, and stop giving May Sun private lessons, I overheard her working in the practice room the other day and she knows how to do everything you're teaching her. She's been playing dumb to get more time with you."
Struck dumb by that information and deaf by the resounding cackle from his stand partner, Tae sits mouth agape like a fish as the floodgates of the door break and none other than May Sun is the first to breach the Orchestra room.
"Good Morning Taehyung oppa!" a bright girl who is far too well done up for 8am, in a cute outfit, heels, and full makeup, plants herself firmly in front of Taehyung and presents a muffin to him. "I brought you breakfast, oppa! I wanted to say thank you for all of the time you've spent with me on lessons this week. Kamsahamnida- oppa!"
Jimin does his best to choke down his laughter but Taehyung just straight up chokes. Stuttering like his bow in the Dvorak piece, he numbly takes the muffin and, in an attempt to avoid further conversation, stuffs the whole thing in his mouth.
Namjoon prompts the confused looking girl to unpack her instrument so they can start sectionals, and she scatters to do as she's told. Jimin leads sectionals in his signature matter of fact style, fixing bow holds now and again. Although he receives less attention borne of infatuation from his pupils, he receives the most respect and attentiveness. Jimin has studied at Julliard and has a reputation as being hands down, the best cellist in the school, and the most stern. Conscious of his intimidating demeanor in rehearsal settings, Jimin is glad to have Taehyung present to lighten the mood. Jimin is glad for the company but frustrated that this is the one facet of the musical process that he doesn't excel at. 'Taehyungie is training to become an Orchestra teacher, it only makes sense that he is a natural teacher. People are drawn to his personality, people are drawn to my music. There's a reason I'm applying for my Master's in Cello Performance and not Music Education.' Despite his regular pep talk regarding the fact that it is ok to not excel at teaching, Jimin still envies the easy way that Tae corrects the kids with kindness and patience shining in his eyes.
8:40am comes and goes and students enrolled in the 9am Symphony block class begin to show up. A small boy with shining white hair stalks in without a word and settles into the back row of the 2nd violin section as if he was made for that chair. Somehow willing himself invisible even in the morning light, he fades into the background of the classroom. Tae waves at him from his adjacent place in the Orchestra, furiously mouthing "Morning, Yoongi-ssi!"
Next to make an appearance was a man with the complete opposite and equal energy as Yoongi. A tall figure entered that exuded so much attitude that he actually sauntered into the room through the side door. Dressed to the nines in an effortlessly cool look of dark jeans, a dangerously low-buttoned collared shirt, and the latest Yeezy's that color coordinated perfectly with his round tinted glasses and bandana. Every head in the Hall turned to follow his gait to the bass locker as if transfixed by his energy. He appeared aware of but completely unbothered by the attention he was receiving, even smirking slightly as he met eyes with several of the cellists, making them blush furiously.
Namjoon takes advantage of the pause in productivity to address him from the podium. "Nice to have you back Hoseok-hyung. I trust the Jazz Studies field trip went well and you are returning to us as a more enlightened and sensitive musician."
To which Hobi grins, scratching the back of his head and stammers something along the lines of 'Uh… yeah it was, great."
Seokjin peeks his head out from the office and shouts, "He went to New Orleans and he studied… jazz? Yeah right, Namjoon. He is returning to us with a higher alcohol tolerance and at least 3 STD's."
"SEOKJIN. NOT the time." Namjoon pulls out his Director-nim voice that he hides away for special occasions such as these.
The entirety of the participants of the now long dismissed sectional remain standing in the back, watching the verbal volley with bated breath. Eyes bouncing from Jin to Hobi to Namjoon as if if the contents of the conversation were going to be on their final exam.
"Don't you guys have classes to go to? Go on, scatter." Jimin speaks up, shooing the group away with no regard to his social reputation with them.
The remainder of the relatively small 20 piece orchestra files in, class begins and they go straight into the Holst Planets movements that they had been agonizing over for months. After Hu Yoon-Ji and Seokjin's savage 'discussion' about whether the Andante Maestoso should start on an upbow or downbow, the final missing seat is filled. Another boy barrels in and as soon as he comes into view he gives the impression that he has grown very quickly in a very short period of time. Not exactly towering in height, but large and muscular, he looks as if he should be on his way to lacrosse practice, not Orchestra. He chucks his bag near across the room and rushes to unpack his violin. Crashing through the rest of the Orchestra, nearly knocking Baek Chi-Young's stand over in the process, he finally takes his seat next to Jin, a huge smile plastered across his face.
"Nice of you to join us Jungkook." Namjoon, says, with only minor sarcasm.
"Joesonghamnida, Sunbae-" Jungkook attempts a full 90 degree bow from his chair but ends up hitting his head on his stand and knocking his instrument out of tune. Rubbing his head, he looks up at Namjoon apologetically. Namjoon could tell that he had prepared a well thought out apology and excuse to present on behalf of his tardiness but the lump on his head and the humiliated look on his face was all the penance he needed.
"That's okay Jungkook. Just tell Coach Wonho that you need to leave soccer practice early next week and I'm sure we can get you here on time."
"Yes, sunbae."
"And stop calling me Sunbae, Kookie."
"Yes, sun-... Namjoon-hyung."
After running their 30 minute show, once, twice, and spot checking trouble areas, Namjoon finally released the class.
"Good work today, guys!" Namjoon bellows to the fleeing kids.
"Get home safe, hyung!" Echoes back from the retreating crowd and Namjoon is sure that it's Hu Yoon-Ji.
"With Jin driving? Not likely!"
"Yah, drive yourself then!" Jin snips back from his position in the office.
Although Namjoon was technically Jin's sunbae by occupation, Jin is more than happy to point out the 2 year age difference between the two roomates. Jin casts his thoughts back to his freshman orientation. He had waited on pins and needles for his roommate assignment and was shocked when a gangly boy with a jet black bowl haircut rolled in with a suitcase that was wider than himself. Tagging behind were an older couple that he assumed were his parents.
"Kim Namjoon?" Jin questioned, as the boy took in the room with oddly wise eyes.
"Pleased to meet you. You must be Kim Seokjin. You're a violin performance major, aren't you?" Dumbfounded by this child's confidence, Jin merely nodded. Namjoon's parents rushed in with a distinct air of protectiveness.
"So you're Namjoon's roomate? Please take care of him. He won't be here long so just, while he's here, can you please make sure he doesn't cause too much trouble for himself?" Jin agreed as noncommittally as possible and then beat a hasty retreat to the hall on the pretense of saying goodbye to his parents. His parents had left hours ago, but he needed distance from the smothering tension in that tiny brick prison. Catching his breath just outside the door he catches snippets of a conversation. Chills ran down his spine as they always do when you know that you're overhearing something that was never intended for your ears.
"You're only 16, are you sure you don't want to take a gap year or two? We can still get a spot in the Engineering camp that offered you a scholarship."
"Min-ya, it's not worth it. He won't listen to us. You've been telling him for years to abandon this music foolishness."
What surprised Jin the most wasn't the sentiment from Namjoon's parents, it was more common than not in the fine arts department for students to not have the blessing of their parents. What took Jin aback was the stony silence coming from Namjoon's side of the conversation, as if he had nothing to say so nothing should be said. That level of maturity from a sixteen year old kid was something unheard of. Even Jin, who had a supportive, if absentee family, snapped at his mother occasionally with his 19 years of experience.
He decided at that point that he would do exactly as Ms.Kim requested of him. He would protect little Namjoon and hopefully learn as much as he can from him. Not that he would ever tell him that.
"Jin-hyung, what time is your Music Theory class today?" Namjoon interrupts.
"I only teach Tuesday and Friday. We can go home for lunch and come back at 2pm for Philharmonia."
"Excellent!" Namjoon, practically bounces out of his chair, rocking on the balls of his feet. Slipping into his jacket he qualifies, "Do you want to go to Goreul-saem first, I don't feel like cooking tonight."
"Namjoon, you haven't cooked in 6 years."
"Yah, I cook sometimes! I made ramyeon for you last week."
"Jinja, fine. We'll go out. But I know it's just because of that cute noona that works the register."
"No, I-" Namjoon panics as he goes to lock the door of the Orchestra room behind him.
"Yah, yah, yah, They serve the same menu at Booreul- saem but you've insisted on Goreul the past three weeks. Booreul is closer! I don't care if you like her, just fucking ask her out already so I can stop wasting my time on it!"
Namjoon scratches the back of his head and stares at the floor. "I guess. Yeah, that's true."
"I know! When I have ever been wrong?" Jin slings his arm across the shoulders of his dongsaeng and they marched back down the hallway together.
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