Chapter 28: Café meet up
"Mason... can you help me meet up with Milani?" Silence filled in the room as the two brothers sat across each other. "What did you just ask me?" Mason questioned his little brother. Shifting in his chair Caesar scratched the back of his head and exhaled, "Can you help me meet up with milani so I can apologize to her?" A laugh engulfed the room with a hint of hysterical hostility. "Ah yes the man who had sex with one of her friends which was my ex fiance in front of her, wants to apologies." Caesar knew his older brother was constantly sarcastic when dealing with severe issues. Though he never knew how cruel his brother could be with remarks until he made the mistake sleeping with his fiancé.
"Listen Mason, I know it's far too late to apologize, but she has the right to know that I feel like shit for what I did to her. Listen, I don't have much time, I'm... never mind what I meant to say is that I feel awful for what I've done. I'd do anything to take it back. But I can't go back in time brother and change my actions, all I can do right now is pray that you and milani could forgive me." Caesar sighed as he pressed his head into his palm.
"Is too much to ask for forgiveness?" Caesar declared as he began to break down. "I just wish to feel okay for one day in my life and not despise myself, Is that too much to ask for?" Caesar managed to respond in a shaky voice. It was evident that Caesar had died from a broken heart long since five years ago but Mason had never seen his brother so damaged.
Giving in, Mason moved closer to his brother and pulled him into a hug. "Look I'm sorry for being a prick and saying snarky comments all the time. But you do have to realize that it's not my decision to make, Milani has to agree to meet you. You can't just stroll into her home or restaurant and demand to talk." Caesars shaking stopped at his brother's touch. It was almost like they never had problems between each other. Almost like they were back to being kids comforting each other when something terrible happened.
The sigh that broke out of Mason's mouth was heavy and filled with remorse, he hadn't realized his brother went through so much. "Alright kiddo stop crying. I'll look at what I can do and talk Milani into meeting you." Mason moved his little brothers head off his shoulder and stood up from his chair. "By the way, I'm simply doing this so I don't feel guilty later on." Caesar whipped the tears off his cheek and then raised his head up and stared at his brother.
His face was emotionless for someone who had just been balling in tears a few seconds ago. His eyes were red and lifeless, his mouth drawn in a flat line, the only visible action Caesar made was a nod at his brother's statement.
"Shut the door on your way out," Caesar told his older brother before laying down on his couch. Mason hesitated for a moment before slowly walking towards the front door. "Take care of yourself baby brother," and then he left shutting the front door.
The man lifted his head weakly, managing to pick up the journal which laid on the coffee table next to him. Just touching the book would make him feel as if he still had Milani's presence with him. Rather than drinking away his sorrows Caesar would read a page of his ex-wife's journal entries. Every. Single. Time.
Dear journal,
It's me again, honestly I don't know why I start off my entries with saying it's me. Like obviously it's me who else would be writing in here or reading this other than yours truly. But anyways my mother has been pressuring me into marrying some rich boy from the private school I go to. I'm sick and tired of it, I don't want to marry someone for their money, and I want to marry someone I love. Someone like Caesar, mother thinks he's a bad influence and that I shouldn't go out with him. Her reason is because he's made me quote unquote disrespectful. But really the truth is that Caesar has turned me into someone who doesn't take shit from people anymore and that makes her sick. She can't control who I love and who I go out with.
I love Caesar to death and I don't think I'll ever stop loving him no matter the situation he's always going to have a place in my heart. We've made plans on getting married as soon as we graduate high school and the thought of being his wife makes me so happy. I sort of feel bad for Brian, he always has to third wheel on our dates and everything. What makes it worse is the fact that Brian had feelings for me at one point and I have no idea if he still does. But hopefully he doesn't have any more feelings for me because I wouldn't want Caesar to feel like I'm not committed to him fully. Wouldn't want to have the love of my life feeling as though I was being unfaithful, I don't want to follow in my mother's footsteps. What I'm about to write is childish I know but nothing will break us apart right?
Sincerely, Milani
Tears scorched his eyes and his lower lip quivered. "I'm so goddamn miserable." Caesar said. A chime went off interrupting Caesar from his thoughts. He stared down at his phone and realized that he had received a text message.
"Hey, I spoke to Milani just now on my way from your house and she agreed to meet you. But it has to be today in an hour because she's unavailable every other day this week." Mason texted.
A smile developed on Caesar's face, practically forgetting how miserable he felt before hearing the news. He messaged his brother back. "Oh, that's wonderful just text me where we're meeting up." A few seconds afterwards Caesars phone pinged with his brother's response. "Yeah, yeah I'll text it." Caesar felt relieved knowing he would eventually see his first love again after five long years. "Oh, and thank you Mason, for helping me." He his brother again before turning off his phone. As miserable as he was right now Caesar didn't want to miss out on the chance to apologize to Milani. He got off his couch swiftly and picked up his keys. "I should get there early."
The weather outside expressed precisely what Caesar was feeling on the inside. The clouds were dull grey and droplets of rain was falling down. Most would claim it's gloomy weather and that it ruined the moment of a perfect day for sunshine, but to Caesar it was the perfect. The smell of gushing rain flowed through his nose as he walked towards his car. The fresh smell of air stirred with the pouring rain calmed Caesars nerves down as he drove to the address he was given. As he sat down in his car outside the café, he glanced around taking in the scenery. The rain slashed down on his car window shield. There was a woman walking into the café shop and a man coming out of the shop with his umbrella open.
Caesar pulled out his pills from his glove compartment. He swept up three pills and chugged them down with water. His face was emotionless, yet his body seemed relaxed completely. As soon as the drug wore off Caesar recalled how he was about to finally see his ex.
Caesar picked up his phone and called his brother, he rambled on about how he couldn't get out of his car and how he was paralyzed. Nervous that Milani would slap him or worse ignore him. He hadn't gotten over her in those past five years and wanted to rekindle their relationship but he didn't know how she would feel about it. "Just get out of your car already and talk to her," Mason groaned at his little brother. "The fact that you're afraid of what she thinks of you now but yet didn't care when you two were together. It says a lot about your character Caesar."
Mason didn't loathe his brother he just couldn't look at Caesar the same way he did before the scandal. He always cherished his little brother but when the news came out of Milani's mouth it struck a nerve in him. Being the oldest sibling everybody advised him to never disrespect his younger siblings and to always forgive them for their mistakes. Mason was trying so hard to forgive his brother completely but he had to make baby steps.
"You're right, I shouldn't feel nervous. Mason I feel sick for the way I treated you and Milani. For that I am sorry. Who knows I might not gain your trust ever again but I do feel like shit for everything I've put you through. Listen, I understand if you wouldn't want to be my brother anymore." After Caesar finishes talking, he waited for his brother to say something. Mason rolled his eyes on the other line then chuckled. "I'm not mad I'm over it, just stating the facts. Man, you blew the chance to be with Milani and that's on you." Caesar sighed then told his brother goodbye as he hung up the phone.
As he stepped closer to the café, he noticed a beautiful woman in a white dress sitting at a chair with a book in her palm. It was Milani, she looked even more beautiful than she did the first night he saw her again after five years. Caesar hadn't seen her arrive, but of course maybe I was too high to notice. He thought, walking up to the girl.
He stopped by her chair then cleared his throat. "May I sit here?" His voice quivered, terrified that she would reject. "Of course sit down." Milani's voice was mellow and delicate, almost as if there was no tension between them. Almost as if they were teenagers again that were out of a date at the café. After an uncomfortable silence, Milani glanced up at Caesar with a warm smile. "You wanted to talk with me?" she asked as she sipped on her coffee.
The man struggled to form words to come out his mouth but all that would come out were stutters. "I made this awkward didn't I?" he declared, embarrassed. "No no, it's okay I understand." Milani responded to the man in front of her. Glancing at her sleeve Caesar notice two tattoos one after the other on her shoulder. The writing was too small for him to see but he knew that she had gotten it after the divorced because Milani never thought about getting a tattoo before. He wanted to ask her what the wordings were, but he didn't wish to pry. It was like Milani read his mind then turned her gaze to her shoulder. "It's a tattoo of names and dates," she explained looking at Caesar. "Whose names are they?" Caesar asked eager to learn who was so important to her in the last five years that encouraged her to get a tattoo.
"It's my son and daughter's names and birthdates," Milani responded beaming down at her shoulder. Caesar stared at her and smiled through a sigh. He knew she would have moved on and that she would find someone better than him but he didn't realize she would have had a child with that man. Let alone two children. Caesar peered down at the table, almost as if he was about to break down. "You're still so oblivious aren't you? Caesar Michaels you haven't changed a bit." Milani laughed. "What do you mean?" Milani shook her head and searched through her purse for the birth certificates. She drew them out her bag then passed them to Caesar.
"Romeo and Alana, our children." Caesar stumbled back in his chair. "You can have your DNA tested with them if you wish. The analysis won't come back negative because you are both my baby's father." Milani eyed her first love in pity. He looked a wreck, his hair was all over the place. Caesar looked like he hadn't shaved in several weeks, and his eyes were red and puffy. "You weren't lying when you said you were pregnant with our child, and I ended up treated you like shit." He whimpered.
Caesar felt numb, the pain in his soul overwhelmed him, and he couldn't believe that he had harmed both his children and Milani over pictures. So what if she cheated, I cheated on her numerous times and she knew and still stayed with my pathetic ass. Caesar thought to himself as he cried looking at the documents in front of him. "You and the kids probably hate me, I don't blame you or them if you do it's all my fault." With the shocking news, Caesar's eyes lost their color, and it left him looking emptier than before. The woman in front of him shock her head and smiled at him.
"They don't hate you, in fact they ask about you all the time, it's so disheartening struggling to make up excuses." Milani shifted her palm on top of Caesars and stared him straight in the eye. "Are you okay? You can tell me the truth." It worried her, he never looked this skinny before and his face showed no type of life. "I'm fine," Caesar replied, but it was obvious that he was lying.
The soft-hearted woman in front of him craved to demand him to tell what was wrong until he gave in but she didn't want to pressure him. "Ok, but really if you're not okay you can tell me." Caesar nodded at what she said then tried to smile. "You're still the same Milani, always so warmhearted." The atmosphere around the two was tragic but still hopeful. Their relationship wasn't the same as it was when they were in high school but there wasn't any hate between them. "I know this is too soon but could I see them?" he pleaded during the conversation.
Milani hesitated for a second then nodded. "I'm going to pick them up from school today, and I'm unavailable the whole week so maybe next Monday." A genuine smile appeared on Caesar's face for the first time in weeks. "I got to go, it was nice meeting you again," Milani added as she got up and walked towards her car.
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