The you that I couldn't see

how do you feel when you fall in love? helpless? selfless? willingly weak?
what happens when you become so dependent on the person you love that his presence itself seems like a blessing?
and what happens when that blessing is take away from you?
love can be an illusion you live everyday, a realization of a dream.......and when dreams are broken, it's all but misery.
*
Sometimes I wonder why people matter and I wonder why they don't. Then for some unknown cosmic reason I start comparing that someone to something, as if a thing could ever replace a whole person...... A person with emotions and a small beating heart. A heart whose only purpose is to beat and pump blood but why believe in that lie when we could create a glorious truth of how it's only purpose is to love. To love an idea or an act or a habit or a thought but, mind me, but not a person. Why would I love you when I can love your voice? Why would I love you when I can get lost in your art? Why would I love you when I'm awestruck while watching you dance? I love your voice, I love your paintings, I love your dance but, mind me, I don't love you. Why'd I wanna love you anyways? Because your smile is sweet? Or because you're kind, courteous, loving, caring, because you call me and ask if I've reached home, because you're protective and not possessive, because you don't point out my flaws, because you hold me when I cry, because you'll be there if I die, because you dread the thought of my death......... because you love me?
Sounds fair enough, me loving your art and not you for you loving my being.
Right ?
Know what?
It doesn't feel fair when the tables are turned around. It doesn't feel good when I look in your eyes and I admire the way you talk and remember your voice and treasure all your insecurities and all you say is that my voice is beautiful. It doesn't feel good when you say you are ready to listen to my singing all your life because hell, that's not what I want. I want you to love me, stay with me because somewhere along the line you felt that connection to me, you felt that I have brought a different meaning to you life. Don't stay with me for your greed. Stay with me for mine. Because I can serve you with all my loyalty just for you're something very sacred to me and I don't expect the same from you because expecting would be a sin but.........love me. The day you'll love me for my sake would probably be the day when you'd be in true love. Till then, it's not you loving me.....it's you loving my ideas or my act or my habit or my thought..., But, mind me, you don't love me.