Chapter 1: chapter 1 first day of school
Why the fuck do I hear a loud ass ring in my ear? I open my eyes and I see my alarm clock is set to 6 AM. Why I set my shit this damn early? I look at my calendar and realized that today is my first day of highschool and that school starts at 8:30.
I get out of bed and got into the shower. It took me 30 min to shower and 30 to get dressed. I looked in the mirror and what I saw was terrible. My hair was a mess and matted, bags under my eyes, bruises and scars all on my face, my clothes looked bumy too. I wore a baggy tore up hoodie over my faded orange shirt and ripped up jeans. I'm a ugly girl wearing ugly clothes. How fitting. Well ain't no use wasting time.
I head down stairs to grab a bite to eat. Looking in our fridge I saw spoiled milk, beer, and an apple that looked sorta brown. Figuring that the apple is my safest bet I grab the apple and sit down at the table.
As I sit I read a book quietly. Yes I love reading but no one knows that. Especially daddy since it was of mamas favorite things to do too. He'd beat me an inch to my death if he saw me reading. So I enjoy what I can while I can until 7:30 come so I can start walking.
7:30 comes quickly. I grab my stuff and hurry out the door. I live about 45 min from Elkwood High (a/n. not a real school) so I'll be making it there at 8:15. It's located in a rich neiborhood on Church Street. Black and white people live there. Mostly white.
Elmwood is a good city to live in. I just live in a bad part. Really bad. It's call the dead end or West Ave. The dead end is the only bad part of West, so when I walk , I walk through the white part of my street and turn right on Church. Boom! I'm at school. Easy, safe route. And quiet too. No one is walking at this time so there is no one to look at me.
I get to school and I see a lot of kids my age and older. They all had schedules in their hands just like I did. This place was huge. There were helpers in the hallways called ambassadors. They showed you the way to the places you needed to go to. I asked a girl how to get the Auditorium and she told me. It was in the Arts wing which was yellow. I also noticed that there were sings that led you to places as well. And that the halls were color coded too. Anyway I'm in the auditorium for orientation. I see a lot kids from my middle school and elementary school. I hope I don't have them in any of my classes. That would make my life less of a living hell.
Our super attendant was up on the stage talking about whatever. I didn't really care. He was s super cheery old white man. He seemed cool. I like him. Then the vice principal was talking, and then some white ladies were talking. I didn't listen either. I didn't care to.
It's 12 noon and that means my first day of school is over. Now I can go to the school picnic. I'm real hungry. There was sandwiches , juice, water, chips, cookies. It was good. Some of the best food I've had in awhile. I even stole some food too. No body saw me. At least I thought nobody did, until this black girl named Alicia Maxwell and her groupies came up to me and started messing with me. They have been doing it for years. I see that there are new groupies too. I tried to hide and runaway but they block my path.
"Look at this fat bitch! Stealing all the food and shit!" Her and her groupies all laughed at me.
'Fuck you Alicia" I said back to her under my breath trying to stand up for myself. I was scared.
" What did you say you ugly bitch?" She said menacing , stepping closer to my face.
"I said Fuck. You." I mustered up as much confidence as a I could looking dead in her face. There was a crowd forming.
"Fight fight fight!" The crowd cheered
Oh no this is bad. I don't wanna fight her! I mean come one, here is this chocolate , six foot, strong, agile black girl trying to fight me. Me. Two hundred pounds, 5'5 me. Yeah ain't no chance in hell I'll win. But I'll try though!
"I'm gone beat yo ass fatty"
"Bring it bitch!" And from that point there was no more words. I swinging and trying my hardest. I kept getting knocked around though. She wasn't even breaking a sweat. She was playing with me.
"Fuck!" I groaned. Stupid bitch kicked me in my stomach, and everything felt dizzy when I hit my head the ground. Before I could get up though Alicia straddled my waist and started punching my face repeatedly. I tried to fight her off, but there was no point because she was stronger than me. I was almost unconcious when I saw an orange blurr take Alicia off of me, and lifted up off the ground. I then was able to somewhat recognize the blurr as one of the security guards of the school.
"Come on get up let's go!" He yelled at us , taking us into the school. Once inside we were put in the Dean's office. Oh shit we in real trouble now. I'm in real trouble because if my dead gets a phone call the school saying I was in a fight? Oh that's my ass for sure. I'm already expecting to get my ass beat just for fucking breathing. I don't need the icing on the cake. I should have just walked away from her. Now I don't have no food either.
Our Dean's name was Mr.S. He had a complicated name so he told us to call him Mr.S for short. He was a short Mexican man with short black hair. He was dressed in a white button up, kakies and some black dress shoes. When he came out his office he had a stern look on his face . He meant business. Both of us were squirming in our seats. You see Alicia parents were rich. They own a couple restaurants out, and had a reputation to uphold. Everyone one knew them as the famous black power couple. They couldn't afford their daughter fucking up in school. And I was already fucked from the start.
"Now ladies I'm very dissapointed in you both" he said in that stern voice.
"We are sorry" we both said at the same time.
"Now I have called your parents and let me tell you they aren't happy. "
"Oh man I'm screwed!" Alicia complained. I didn't say nothing. I knew what was going to happen.
"But here's the thing now ladies I'm going to let you off the hook ok? You won't be expelled or suspended , but next time I won't be so nice ok? "
"Thank you so much Mr.S!" We both said at the same time again and quickly got our stuff to leave.
The walk home was horrible. My body was so tired and beat up. It was about 1:30 PM when I got home. My daddy wasn't home yet. He didn't get off the auto shop until about 9:30 today. He usually gets off at 7 but he picked up some over time. I was grateful because that means I didn't have to deal with him. When I walked in the door I dropped my bag on the couch exhausted. I go in the kitchen to grab a cup of water, not even bother I look for food considering we didn't have none. Then I trudge my way up stairs to my room. I changed into to some shorts that were about mid thigh and a baggy gray shirt and crashed on my bed.
Time ship.
"Get the fuck up bitch!" I jumped up as I hear a loud booming voice over my head as I sleep. I look up and I see my father, tall and dark looking over me. I back up to the farthest corner of my bed to get as far away as possible.
"Hey daddy how was work?" I tried but I was so scared. I didn't know what he was gonna do to me.
"Don't you hey daddy me you little hoe! You think I did 't hear about what happened at school!?" I looked into his eyes and he bad this crazy look in them. I could he was drunk already by the way his breath reeked. This wasn't going to be a good night for me.
"Daddy I'm sorry I wasn't trying to start no trouble, I-! "
"Shut the fuck up. I'm tired of hearing you talk." He stalked menacingly toward me as he spoke with a belt in his hand. I knew what was coming.
"No daddy I'm sorry please dad-!" I screamed blocking my face with my hands and knees but my words were cut off as he beat me.
"I said Shut. The.Fuck.Up!" He screamed as he punctuated each with with each whip. I screamed, cried and beg him to stop. He kept going faster and faster. I don't know how long he was beating me for but it felt like eternity. He stopped eventually and looked at me with with cood eyes.
'Next time think about your actions" he said coldly and left out the room. I was left there sobbing and hurting. But all I could think about was how lucky I was tonight. So lucky.
"At least he didn't rape me" I whispered to myself, silently crying myself to sleep.
And that's the end of chap 1! Hello my fellow followers sorry I haven't been updating any of my stories. I haven't been on wattpad in so long. I have been trying to get this story started for over a year and I am so happy to get the first chap down! I hope to be able to update again soon but there are so many crazy things going in in my life. But I will try. Any way like and comment what you guys think so far. Love u !
Chapter 2: chapter 2:changes
It's been about a month since school started. School started end of August/early September, so now we are headed into the first week of October. There where changes and way too many of them. I couldn't keep up. It was too much. Well the first thing is that I was to get a job the McDonalds near my school. Since in 15 I had to get a work permit. Which means that I had to get it signed by my father and turn it in to the school. It almost cost me an arm and a leg, but it was worth it. I loved my job. I also baby sat on the weekends for this white family I was cool with since I was a kid. Jane Willcox and Phillip Willcox were friends of my mother , and have been like family since I was a kid. Now they have a twins, a boy and a girl named Emily and James both 5 years old. I like baby sitting because they were good kids and it was easy money. I mean come one they pay me $15 an hour. But yeah now I got a job and I can take care of myself a little better. I started managing my money so that I could be able to buy food,clothes, and other things I may need to survive. I don't have a bank account, so I keep all my cash hidden in a safe place so my daddy will not steal it.
Aside from all the money making , there was a new addition to the family. Yep and her name was Kacy Washington. My father done got somebody knocked up. It was his 23 year old girlfriend Keisha Roman. She was beautiful. About my height, skinny, chocolate, and a head of thick curly hair. She was smart but so rachet. She ain't have none going for her. Anyway , her and my daddy fucked around for two years and my guess is by the second year he got her pregnant. She gave birth to Kacy on August 27, just two days after my first day of school. As soon as she gave birth, she was out of the picture. Now I have a month and a week old baby girl to take care of.
But I love Kacy though. I love her so much. I thank God for her. You wanna know why? Because she gives me hope. I feel like I can keep pushing. I want to provide a better future for her. A better life, better then the one I got.
I smiled as she looked up at me while im holding her in my arm with bright shining eyes. She looked like me too. She had my daddy skin color, such a pretty chocolate, but she looked like me. She looks at me with so much love, love I haven't seen or felt in a while. I saw my old self in her. A little girl that used to laugh, love, and enjoy the world. I don't have that for me but I'm going to be that for her.
I looked at the time. Oh my gosh its 6:15 am! I had to get Kacy to her day care by 7. Good thing I already had all her stuff and my stuff ready the night before. I quickly put Kacy in her stroller. She was already dressed and fed while I still looked like a mess.
It took me 15 min to shower and another to get dressed, do my hair, and eat. By the time it was 6:40 I quickly ran to the bus stop that was just two blocks away. I knew the bus was coming in 5 min so I made a run for it. I got ot the stop at exactly 6:45 just as the bus was pulling up. I sighed a heavy sigh as Kacy and I finally got on the bus, and we waited out this 15 min bus ride.
By the time we got her her daycare it was a little after 7. I was able to drop her off to her teacher Ms. Willow pretty quick and be on my way to school. Elkwood was pretty close, about a 30 min walk from the daycare, so it was nothing to walk there.
I got into school and I went straight to my locker hoping no one would see me. It was on the second floor right next to the Music room. Its where all the band and orchestra kids practice. I don't know why I went in there but I did. Something drew me to that room.
When I got into the room I saw I beautiful piano in the middle of it. I sat on the bench and touched the keys lightly. I closed my eyes and I immediately felt an surge of emotions and memories come over me. I haven't seen nor have I played the piano in such a long time. I was a pro at it when I was kid . My mother used to play it, and even after she died, up until middle school I played. Sing and play the poems I wrote, the emotions I felt just so I could have a connection with her. But then one day in 6th grade I stopped. I stopped because of these exact words:
"You're never gonna bring her back so stop trying" my father whispered cruelly in my ear. From that point I never played again. Never sang again. But now ? Now was my chance to sing, to play, to be me. Be a me that I hope I haven't forgotten. I closed my eyes and for once I was free. ( play the song at this point so that you can imagine how much emotion she feels in the moment)
I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can force a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am
I can do it
I can do it
I can do it
But I'm only human
I thought about all the time my father raped me
And I bleed when I fall down
About how just last night he raped me
I'm only human
I remember how he makes me feel so powerless
And I crash and I break down
How can I be there for Kacy?
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
When I can hardly be there for myself?
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I'm so tired
I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything
I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it
I'll do it for her
But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
God please help me and my sister
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
I'm falling apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human
I can take so much
Until I've had enough
'Cause I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human, yeah
"That was beautiful Emmy. It really was." A familiar voice said to me. A voice I haven't heard in years. I turned my head towards the door and my heart stopped.
"Troy..." I whispered. Before i knew it, tears where falling again.
And that's the end of this chapter guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Tell me what you think
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