Chapter 17: At Long Last
I have been putting off writing something for quite a while now, probably a week tops. Well I have no excuse. I really did not feel like writing anything, I mean this was supposed to be some sort of a diary that I was supposed to, in theory, write something on about anything, which seems like a low bar to write something about, at least once a day. But then this was when my procrastination began.
And frankly, this is one of the things, among others, that I hate about myself. I do not know if it is because of short term enthusiasm or something else entirely, but I begin an endeavour with so much drive and with so much passion, but give it a few days of so much drive and passion and then this procrastination almost immediately sets in, imagine the snap of a finger. And just like that all my enthusiasm dies.
I am not sure if you have read some the stuff I have written prior to this but if you did you did you might have come across me talking about something similar to what I am talking about now. And this almost immediate diffusion of enthusiasm is definitely a problem that fuels my hesitation to even start something or anything at all. Now that I think about it writing, I think also definitely plays a role as to why I do not have a job in the first place, maybe.
This aberration of a problem that I have and my desire to wade into endeavour I think I would find productive to myself if not to the people around me and the conflicts that comes out of it definitely fuel my hesitations and inability to make decisions for myself, I think.
And it is a problem and a conflict within myself that I continually grapple with, though hopefully not to the end of my days.
So anyways, good morning to me, I guess.
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