Chapter 5: f i v e
Pulling her hand from under his hastily, Tobi scrubs her eyes and mutters a quick apology. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that it's just that I --"
"Why are you apologizing?"Ashton asks her, a wry smile on his face.
Tobi stops moving altogether, her eyes wide. "I-I just..." She turns to look up at the moon and sighs before closing her eyes. "I dunno, Ashton." Both of them are silent for a few minutes before Tobi stands and stretches her limbs as if they've been there for ages. Desperately wanting a change of pace, Tobi announces, "Okay. We came here because I love it, right? But now we should do something I've never done before." Looking down at Ashton as he stares up at her she states, "I have something I've always been too freaked out to try, but I dunno if you'll like it, dude."
Ashton shrugs and responds, "Meh, you're dying, so it can't be worse than that." She laughs, but it's awkward and Ashton feels his stomach drop. "Shit, sorry, that was so insensitive, I just meant --"
"No, it's okay," Tobi reassures him as he stands and begins throwing his hands around in the air. Waving a hand dismissively, she says, "Back to what I was saying. How do you feel about skinny dipping?"
Ashton stops altogether and leans back a bit, his hands on his hips. He nods, his eyes slightly widened and his brow scrunched before saying with a shrug, "Okay."
With a slight laugh, Tobi assures him, "Relax, we don't have to do that if you're uncomfortable. I may be dying, but I'm not gonna make someone do something they're uncomfortable with." She looks at the water skeptically and adds, "Plus, I'm not even sure if it's warm enough to swim in. I mean, it's only April, so..."
"Right," Ashton says as he sits back down and stares out over the water. Finally, after a long moment of silence, he takes a breath and states, "I mean, if you want to, we can, but..."
With a slight smirk, Tobi questions teasingly, "Are you sure? Ashton, are you sure you're ready to see me in the nu--"
"Yup, totally, let's fucking go," Ashton says loudly before pushing himself, fully clothed, into the pond.
"Oh my God." Tobi gasps as she hurries to the edge of the dock and kneels at the edge. "Holy shit, I think I killed Ashton." She mumbles as the ripples from Ashton's plunge make it the shore of the pond. After what seemed like an eternity of her kneeling and staring into the inky depths of the pond, Ashton breaks the surface of the water, gasping and now shirtless. "Oh fuck!" Tobi yelps as she pushes herself away from the edge of the dock. "Okay, thanks for scaring the shit outta me, dude."
As he throws the sopping wet clothes onto the dock next to her -- shirt and everything else -- he teases, "Wanna come in, Tobi? Water's fine." He drawls out the word 'fine' and sinks a little lower into the water, submerging the lower half of his face.
Breathing a sigh of relief, she responds, "Yeah, now that I know you're not dead." As she stands and begins tugging off her pants, Ashton looks from her to the posts holding up the dock, eyes flitting between the water and wood. "Aw, Ashton you don't wanna watch me get naked?" Tobi giggles as she pulls her shirt over her head.
Just as she removes her bra, Ashton looks up and retorts, "I don't think anyone wants to see tha..." He trails off midsentence as he sees her drop the garment in her own pile of clothes.
With a laugh, Tobi bends down and begins shimmying out of her underwear, doing her best to feign nonchalance as he continues to stare slackjawed at her. "What, never seen a girl naked before?" She teases as she walks forward on the dock, her eyes fixed on the wood under her feet.
"Um, no, actually. You'd be the first."
Tobi is stunned into silence. "Wow, I'm surprised." She admits as she crosses her arms over her exposed breasts.
With his face now a dangerously dark shade of red, Ashton stares hard at a rock wedged into the dirt and sand of the shore and mumbles, "Well what about you then?" Tobi tilts her head, prompting him to explain further. "I mean have you ever, you know, seen a guy naked before?"
She laughs and asks another question in response, "Didn't we establish this in the cafe earlier?"
"Um, no, not really. You kinda just talked about how you think it might be easier to establish a romantic connection with someone if you have sex first, but you didn't really say if you had, you know, uh..."
He trails off and she fills in the blank by questioning, "Had sex?" Suddenly, her booming laughter echoes all around them, reverberating back from within the trees surrounding the pond. After regaining her composure, she says breathlessly, "Oh, God no. I'm a virgin, man." A smile takes up her face as she adds, "Looks like we're both in the same boat, huh?"
"Yeah, I suppose." Ashton mumbles.
"Alright, let's get in this bitch," Tobi says loudly before walking a few steps backward. She then runs off the dock and jumps in a few feet away from Ashton. When she pops from the depths of the water laughing, she cheers, "Oh yeah!" Pushing the wet hair from her face, Tobi sighs, "Man, I sure have missed this place. No place like this in the whole world."
Giving a laugh of his own, Ashton responds, "Yeah, this place is pretty cool, dude. Nice and secluded, too."
Tobi hums in agreement, a wide smile on her face. "That it is, Ashton."
❀❀❀
After a few hours of splashing around aimlessly and talking about nothing in particular, the two had decided to get out and now sat in the open trunk of Tobi's car in nothing but beach towels. Tobi kicks her feet in the air and stares into the starry sky. As she stares, something catches her eye and she points excitedly, saying, "Holy shit, look! A shooting star!" Biting her lip in concentration, she makes a wish in her head before sighing.
A comfortable silence settles over them as they both stare into the depths of the sky dotted with stars, each lost in their own little worlds. Finally, Ashton leans back against the seat and says with a smile, "Today was really nice, Tobi. I'm glad we did this instead of trying to set you up on a bunch of dates. That woulda been boring as hell, dude."
Without giving a laugh, she says distractedly, "Yeah..."
Nudging her arm, Ashton questions, "Hey, what's wrong?"
"I'm just kinda worried, is all." She responds, turning her gaze to her lap where she plays with her hands, twisting her fingers around each other. "I mean, this is really fun and I love it -- hanging out with you, I mean -- but when I die--"
"If. If you die." Ashton mutters, staring at her as she fidgets and she stops kicking her legs like a little kid.
"No, when. I don't wanna be too hopeful." Biting her lip, she takes a breath and adds, "I don't want you to be too hopeful." With a sigh, she drags a hand over her wet scalp and mutters, "I really like doing all this stuff and I wanna do more, but I'm just worried that I'm doing more damage to you than anything else. Like, I don't want to have you become one of my friends and then literally vanish from your life completely."
Ashton is quiet as he stares at her worried profile. Finally, he responds in a firm voice, "Look, I want to do this. I want to become a close friend to you and get to know you, okay? I know what I'm getting myself into. I mean, I knew you had Hanahaki after knowing you for like three minutes." Ashton chuckles slightly at this last bit, but she doesn't reciprocate, instead continues fiddling with her hands.
"I know, but--"
"You're not doing anything wrong, Tobi," Ashton tells her. She turns to look him in the eyes, concern the only thing showing through in her features. "You're just trying to live as best as you can. And that's okay. In fact, it's more than okay. That's... normal. It's great, even. A lot of people just kinda spiral into depression or something, so it's pretty incredible that you're doing so great."
She sighs, her eyes closed in thought. "Yeah, I guess." As she hops from the open trunk, she walks around to the passenger seat and says, "Alright, dude, let's get going. Close the trunk and start driving."
"You're gonna have to give me directions," Ashton informs her as he closes the trunk with a loud thud and walks over to the driver's side. As he slips into the seat behind the wheel, she's already dozing off. Giving a quiet chuckle, he mumbles, "Nevermind, then."
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