Her brother had once told her that she should reserve one stupid thing to consciously do every two years. Taking into account their family's life expectancy, she had an allowance of about forty-two stupid things to do in her lifetime.
She was pretty sure that she was close to passing that threshold at twenty-four.
Ryan especially felt the full impact of her actions as she realized every stupid thing she had done, she had done for the guy she loved.
At nine, she had tried to cushion his fall from a tree using her own body. She had to go to the hospital.
At eleven, she had hacked into her school's record system to change his failing mark into an A-, so he wouldn't have to go through summer school. She got caught by the authorities.
At thirteen, she made him a fake ID so that he could go and buy beer. She got caught by her brother.
At sixteen, she let him borrow her car. When he crashed it, she wouldn't let him pay for anything and attempted to have it secretly repaired. She got caught by her parents.
At eighteen, she gave him her virginity with the promise of forever. She caught him with another woman a few months after.
At nineteen, she had approached him with a hand placed on a protruding belly. He denied all responsibility.
That was only a brief list. She knew that there was more–much more. It was at the point that she likely wouldn't be able to list all of them without forgetting a few.
There was no doubt that she had been a stupid kid, and the world showed no mercy towards those like her. It had taught her a long and meaningful lesson on relationships and trust. She was grateful for reality's hard slap on the face, even if it left a permanent mark.
She took another sip of the red wine in her hand; the culprit for her laments that night. That, and the letter on her desk.
For the first time in six years, she wanted to talk to someone about him. Grabbing her phone from the desk, she dialed her brother's number.
It took longer than usual for him to answer.
"Hey, little sis." Drew chuckled on the phone. It sounded strained.
Understanding dawned on her face, "You're over at the manor."
"Yeah…" Her brother trailed off awkwardly. "We were just talking about you actually, so good timing?"
"Just tell me what they told you to tell me." Ryan pinched the bridge of her nose. She abandoned the idea of having a heart to heart with him.
Even if he was the golden child, he too would be emotionally and mentally weary in that viper's den. She didn't want to add on to that.
"Mom wants you to come home for her birthday dinner party." Even through the distorted audio, Drew sounded guilty. "She keeps saying that she wants to see Cas and that she deserves to be in his life."
Ryan snorted, "How convenient for her to say those kinds of things now."
She refused to let herself or her son be used as a trophy.
"I knew you wouldn't agree, but…" Drew trailed off–hesitant.
"What?"
"Dad wants to see you." His words were so mumbled she could just barely understand him.
Pursing her lips, Ryan bit the inside of her cheek.
Her father was a different story from her mother, but even six years hadn't been enough time to erase the resentment clinging onto her heart.
"Tell him maybe next year."
She heard her brother sigh. "Alright. Thanks, Ry."
His gratitude was only met with silence.
A forced cough tried to change the direction of their conversation. Of course, she had called him with the intention of lamenting to her older sibling, but there was a deviation in her plans.
"Did you take a look at the new script already?" Drew asked awkwardly. Knowing his sister, she definitely already did.
Ryan tied to get rid of the weird air and played along, "Yup. If I wasn't in such a slump, I'd love to play Ning Xi from Secret Union. I'm just not feeling another CEO romance right now."
"Transmigration?"
"Pass."
"Harem?"
"No."
"Werewolves?"
"Is that still trending?"
"You would make it trending, Goddess Ry."
"Ugh." She snorted at her crowned nickname but felt a little mushy inside. Euphoria peeked through her bad mood.
"I'm looking for something a little different, you know? Maybe fantasy this time? I'd love to play a villain." She threw out.
Most of the characters she played were unapologetically feminine heroes: empresses, generals, and doctors. After watching a few international productions, her interest in anti-heroes and villains grew. It would be something to spice up her portfolio of work.
"Maybe Goddess Ry could change into Supreme Overlord Ry. Has a nice ring to it." She mused.
"I'll ask around. Director Tony has some scripts thrown around."
She let out a fake yawn, "M'kay. Thanks, Drew. I just wanted to check in, I'll hit the hay now."
"I haven't talked to my baby boy yet!" The grown man whined.
Ryan frowned, "Hey, dork, check the time. I'm not letting you disturb my baby's sleep."
A stream of grumbles came from the speaker.
She sighed, "We're going out to watch a movie tomorrow. You can come along as long as you stay quiet in the theatre."
"Yes, yes, yes! I will! I promise!"
Ryan already knew in her heart that he would break it. At least the strange air that had settled over them by talk of their parents had dissipated. As long as he didn't do it when they were working, she embraced her brother's eccentric nature.
"Night, big bro."
"Night, sis. Kiss Cas for me."
"Mhmm." She paused. "Hey bro?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"You're drinking again aren't you? Are you alright, do you need me?" His tone was colored in worry. Ryan felt miffed.
Did she only say I love you when she was drunk?
"Stop worrying and say the words back."
A sigh echoed from the phone. He wanted to pry, but Drew knew that no matter what, if his sister didn't want to talk about something, then she simply wouldn't despite all the coercion in the world.
"I love you too, Ry."
With a beep, the call ended. Ryan leaned back on her chair, stretching her neck and shoulders. She ran a hand down her face, a sigh escaping her lips. Although her mother's invitations have been coming even more frequently, each one still left her emotionally drained. It added on to her current stress.
At least she had been able to talk to her brother, though it wasn't about what she really wanted to discuss.
Sighing, she took an envelope from her desk; dark eyes re-reading the cursive words.
'You are invited to the wedding of Kaylee Young and Stephen Reed.'
The shameless ex-lover and ex-best friend. How cliché.
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