Chapter 4: My heart isn't easy to give
"What is happening with you, Y/N? You seem strange. Every time I see you heading towards Jungkook's cell, you have a creepy smile on your face. And you are checking your watch all day like you can't wait to see him. Don't tell me that you started to have feelings for him. Are you crazy?" Naeun threw a disapproving look my way, her arms folded against her chest.
"It's not like that. I just feel sorry for him" I raised a suspicious eyebrow.
What was her problem? Since when did she care about my doings? We weren't that close for her to come and expect me to put my whole life and feelings on a plate in front of her. I wasn't doing it with my own family, and most definitely not to a stranger.
I was that type who prefers to keep everything to herself.
"Are you sure about that? I saw how you were caressing his cheek. Please Y/N. He is not a normal person. He will never return your feelings. If he was able to do something in his situation, then the highest possibility will be to kill you."
What the? She saw me? Don't tell me that she was spying on me.
"He will not do that. Look at him. He isn't like what all of you is thinking. He would never harm anyone. Not in that state at least."
"How do you know that? "
"And how do you know that he is dangerous? How can you be so sure? Have you actually seen him doing something? "
I narrowed my eyes as I was carefully watching her, trying to somehow figure out what her problem was and why she was trying so hard to convince me on how dangerous Jungkook was.
The first and last time we went to his cell, she didn't seem that scared of him. On the contrary. She even caressed his head lovingly.
I was there. Did she forget that? Or did she think I was stupid?
Please. You could not find a person sharper than me in this entire world. I wasn't easy to be fooled. The person who could make me look like a total idiot, was not born yet. I had to deal with too much shit to still believe in flying pigs. I smirked as I was watching her struggle on how to answer my question.
"Since when do you know Jungkook? " I asked as I was playing with a strand of my hair, twirling it around my finger.
Her eyes widened. And I enjoyed seeing her all flustered.
"W- What's with the question? "
"Well, I wanted to know. I like to know more about people with whom I am working with. Why? Is it a secret? Is it something you can't share?" I innocently smiled at her and I saw the effect my smile had on her. She quickly let her guard down.
I didn't like this girl. I don't know why. She seemed like a shy good girl. Easy to be fooled as well. But I felt that something was wrong. She was somehow weird, and she was hiding something. Apart from the fact that she liked Jungkook. Well, it was obvious, so of course, I had that figured out.
So, she told me that she started to work in this place two years ago. She had a little brother, her father died when she was a child and now she was living in a small apartment with her little brother and her mother that she loves so much. Her mother was ill, so she was not able to work, instead, she had to work
and pay the bills, as well as take care of her mother and her brother who will soon graduate high school.
I couldn't help but pity her. It must be hard to have so many responsibilities hanging on your shoulders at such a young age, and I admired her for it. My shoulders dropped. I couldn't hate her. Damn it.
"If I would like Jungkook, would that be a problem for you? " I asked her, my blunt question made her eyes widen, her lips parting in shock.
"Kidding." I added when I saw her not moving a muscle. She was even struggling to hold in her tears that were swimming now inside her eyes. Definitely, I couldn't hate her.
She was just like a little kid. An open book. It was so easy to read her, her feelings were all around the place. She was scared of me. Scared that I will take him away from her.
"It was a joke." I laughed evilly. "I don't see Jungkook in that way. To actually like someone, first, he would have to gain my trust and my heart. But it's a long way till then. I am not easy to give. " I winked at her as I bit my lip piercing. And she sighed in relief.
Why so weak? I could squish you so easily. Don't give me a reason to.
_
"Y/N, do you think I am not aware of what you are doing? " Taehyung was suddenly walking beside me as I was heading towards the restroom.
"I don't know what you are talking about" I rolled my eyes bored. This jerk was on my blacklist.
In heat? Even now I couldn't believe he actually used those words the first day we met.
"Are you mad at me? If I apologize, will you give me a chance? " Taehyung grabbed my hand before reaching the door.
"Can you let go? I need to pee and maybe shit?"
He quickly released my arm as soon as those words left my mouth. I internally laughed.
Idiot.
I turned around and pushed the door open.
"I will not leave you alone with that freak, no matter how much you want to. Do you hear me? "
I heard Taehyung say before the restroom door closed in his face.
We will see about that.
I didn't like the way he was talking about Jungkook. With so much hate. As if Jungkook was below him and he was almighty. I hated people like that. The ones who look down at others no matter the reason.
_
The next day... I was late.
My alarm didn't ring. I was 40 minutes late and I felt my palms sweating from nervousness.
This couldn't happen to me. Oh my god, what if something happened to Jungkook? I had to be there at 5 in the morning. And it was already 6.
And what I feared the most, happened.
As I was running towards Jungkook's cell, I heard him yelling.
"Stop. Please stop. I beg you"
It was the first time I actually heard his voice. It was the first time my heart was racing this fast. Something in me felt weird the moment I unlocked the cell he was held in and seeing him in that horrible state.
He was having a nightmare.
He was struggling, screaming and crying in his sleep. And without a second thought I ran towards him and placed a hand on his shoulder.
"Jungkook? Wake up. It isn't real. It's only a nightmare."
Then it happened.
He turned around and took me in his arms. Burying his face in the crook of my neck,his body was trembling violently against mine.
"Make it go away. Make him stop."
He was crying. My chest tightened at the feeling of his tears on my skin.
"Please lady. Make him stop." He whispered, his strong arms tightening around my waist as he pulled me closer, his shirt soaking wet with sweat as I placed my palms against his chest. Somehow feeling the need to put some distance between us.
Wait. Lady? Since when was I a lady?
Then, taking me by surprise, he grabbed the injection that I had already prepared on my way here from my hands.
And for a second, our eyes locked in the dim light, his dark eyes bored into mine. At that moment, the only thing I could hear was his hard breathing and the ringing of my heart.
I swallowed, my stomach clenching under his scrutiny.
His eyes held mine as he said:
"I don't want to wake up. It hurts. Make sure that I will never wake up."
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