When I walked into the McDonald's, Jace was in the middle of telling Nick how boring his history class was. He looked up, said hi, and continued his story as Nick smiled indulgently. I wondered if his son had ever talked like that. He probably had.
After Jace finished his monologue and we got our food, they both looked at me expectantly.
"What?"
"Well, you're the one who summoned us. Aren't you conducting this meeting?" Jace asked, absentmindedly swirling a french fry in a pile of ketchup.
"Why do you guys always insist on me being in charge," I complained. "Just because I got the intel doesn't mean I should be in charge."
"Didn't you want to ask Jace about evidence?" Nick prompted helpfully.
"Oh yeah! Have you ever taken a computer class at school?"
"It was an elective in sixth grade but everyone took it. I got an A though. Why?" Jace asked suspiciously.
I sighed. "My roommate is looking into what was going on at your dad's job before the robbery. She'll find out about the health insurance soon enough, which could point her to your dad. That's circumstantial though and since he works so much, he probably has alibis for your crimes. I'm worried she'll look to you if there's proof of your computer expertise."
His grin became crooked. "I'm in the clear then. I've taken Spanish as my elective since 7th grade. All my hacking has been self-taught spending too much time on the internet and reading up on it."
"You speak Spanish?" Nick asked.
"Sí, si me atraparan, siempre podría huir a México y construir una vida allí," Jace said smugly.
"What did he just say?"
I swallowed a bite of McFlurry and waved my spoon at Nick. "He said he could move to Mexico if he got caught. Nice accent, by the way."
Jace narrowed his eyes at me. "You speak Spanish?"
I laughed, remembering the many hours of talking to myself trying to get the pronunciation right in college. "Dude, I went to school for social work in Texas. I kind of had to speak Spanish."
His eyes lit up. "This is awesome. We could totally talk about Nick right in front of him and he'd have no idea what we're saying. Esto seguro es delicioso. No vengo aquí a menudo, estoy ahorrando todo mi dinero para ir a la universidad.*"
I shot Nick a wicked grin before replying. "Debería comer papas fritas con más frecuencia.**"
"Deberíamos venir aquí más a menudo,***" Jace said with a sly glance at Nick.
I was enjoying this too much. Vengeance was sweet. "Finalmente, Nick está recibiendo lo que se merece. Voy a comprar tus papas fritas la próxima vez solo por la expresión de su cara.****"
Nick looked between both of us and scowled. "You guys are terrible. Come on, we're here for a reason."
Jace smiled and leaned back in his chair, the picture of relaxation. "I'm good to go. I even have a Plan B. You're the one in trouble here. I think I'll just enjoy my free meal now." He cheerfully dug into his cheeseburger, revitalized from teasing Nick.
Nick scowled deeper. "Come on, you guys are supposed to be helping me out here!"
"Have you come up with anything to say?" I asked. "Has she contacted you yet?"
"No, not yet," he said with a tinge of relief. "But she could do it any time now, which is why I need help."
"Why not just tell her that her idea is unrealistic?" Jace pitched in after finishing his burger and starting on the second one. "Try to make it out to be a coincidence."
"That could work…" I mused. "The autopsy reports I saw didn't show anything unusual. Nick, you have more access to autopsy records than I do. Have you seen anything suspicious on any of them?"
He squirmed in his seat.
I gave him my most severe glare. "Please tell me you've actually bothered looking at the autopsy results afterwards. Even you couldn't be that careless."
"Of course I have! The agents I've used aren't detectable on most tox screens unless you look for them specifically. I'm not stupid."
"Then why do you look so guilty?" I demanded.
"The blood samples might still be on file," he mumbled, shamefaced. "She could get the police to request running a more comprehensive tox screen with them."
"That's rough, buddy," Jace quipped.
I rolled my eyes. "Now is not the time for TV show references."
"Hey, you got it! I thought you were too old to get that reference."
I was insulted. "I'm only twelve years older than you."
His eyes widened. "Wow, that's weird. You're in your 20s and hanging out with a guy old enough to be my dad?"
"Hey," Nick complained. "This is off-topic."
"Oh yeah, Lori was calling you stupid," Jace said cheerfully.
"She didn't actually say I was stupid!"
"She was thinking it," I muttered.
Nick crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know why I even bother with you two."
Jace held up his hand for a high five and I gave him one before he returned to his food. I was really starting to like this kid. He helped me pay Nick back for always giving me a hard time about things.
Especially Jonathan. Well…I should actually be nice to Nick since I need advice about that later. Drat. I was having so much fun.
"Okay, okay, enough fun at Nick's expense. Is there any way to get rid of the samples?" I asked.
Nick looked at me like I'd grown a second head. "If she looked into it that would be her first clue that it was a suspicious death. If they did save the samples—and I don't even know if they did—they could still be analyzed for years. I read a research study on it a while back."
"Nerd," Jace snickered.
Nick chose to ignore him and continued. "I don't have access to the coroner's office so I can't even check if the evidence exists. We need to find something else to get her off the trail."
"I've got nothing," I admitted. "Faye's tenacious. If you give her even one wrong hint, she'll chase it to the ends of the earth. I don't know what to tell you."
"Loriiiiiii," Nick moaned. "Don't do this to me. You're the smartest person I know, you have to think of something!"
"Flattery won't make my brain work faster."
He ran his hands through his hair frantically. There was the freaking out I'd been expecting before. "What do I do? Just avoid her calls forever? Never come over to your place ever again? Fake my own death and move to Iceland?"
"Iceland would be a cool place to live," Jace contributed.
"Not helping."
He shrugged apologetically at me as Nick continued to panic. "I can avoid her forever, right? She doesn't know my schedule. I can figure something out! Totally, I'll be fine!"
Totally? He really must be losing it. He gave me a hard time for letting the occasional "dude" drop. I tried to placate him before it spun further out of control. "Nick. Calm down. We'll figure something out. Just evade her another week or something and we'll be able to come up with better ideas."
He took a deep breath. "Okay. Okay. We'll be fine. I'll be fine."
"You've got this, man," Jace said without looking up from his phone.
"I've got this," Nick echoed, deflating in his seat. "I don't got this. I'm doomed."
I patted his shoulder awkwardly. "There, there. It'll all work out."
"You suck at consoling people," Jace observed. "Don't you do this for work?"
"Kids are different than adults!" I protested. "If you're going to be like that, maybe I won't buy your fries next time."
"Aw, don't be like that Lori!"
I chose to ignore Jace too. "You are going to be fine," I said firmly. "Come on, why don't you go home and relax with some ESPN or whatever it is you do to calm down."
"ESPN sounds good," Nick mumbled as he let me lead him out the door.
I waved him off and turned to glare at Jace, who was smiling at me innocently. "Can I get a ride home? Nick drove me here."
"You're ridiculous."
"You know you love me," he said confidently. I could only shake my head and laugh. Teenagers.
Translations: *This sure is delicious. I do not come here often, I'm saving all my money to go to college.
**I should eat French fries more often.
***We should come here more often.
****Finally, Nick is getting what he deserves. I'm going to buy your fries next time just for the expression on his face.