Chapter 10: Polar Star Dorm
"For a rickety old shack, you have some pretty solid foundation here." Soma remarked as he found the Polar Star Dorm.
He had to double check if he found the dorm or some storage shed, but look and behold, the plaque on the wall said it all.
As soon as he pushed to door open, he was greeted with the old landlady, Fumio Daimido.
Immediately, Soma was hit over the head with a ladle, having not noticed the work she was doing to repair the front door after some incident in the past.
"I was working the door before you came barging in here, boy." Fumio scolded, earning a sheepish grin from Soma.
"With the way things are, I'm surprised you don't have a permanent slump, Fumio-san." Bop.
"Agh! Kami, dad was right. You are ruthless with that ladle." Soma said… from the ground. Fumio raised an eyebrow as a Soma sized indentation left its mark onto the tiles. A part of her was very annoyed at the additional damage she had caused, but she got to the chase.
"What do you want, brat. You wana join the Polar Star Dorms?" She asked, as Soma picked himself up from the rubble. He nodded, giving her a cheeky grin.
Fumio straightened her posture, giving her a sort of gatekeeper aura as she stared at Soma.
"To gain entry to Polar Star, you must make a dish that'll impress me." She said, her arms crossed. Soma idly thought if this was what Erina would look like if she got old, given the same situation he was in.
"Do I really? Is there another way to live here?" Soma asked. He really didn't feel like cooking, after biking for over two hours already.
"Of course! You can live outside, on the lawn of the dormitory! Just be careful for the wild animals in the forests." Fumio smiled, inwardly laughing at Soma's situation.
If he didn't have the will to do anything and try to sidestep the situation, he'll be quickly run down in the cooking world.
Obviously, unknown to her, Soma had been running a restaurant with his father, so he has some experience.
Soma sighed. "Well… might as well, then. Let's get crackin' old hag!" Soma declared, ducking quickly as the ladle zipped by.
Fumio, not expecting him to dodge, had been forced to release the ladle because of the strength she put behind it, and it flew, smashing through the front door… as did the door.
Soma coughed into his fist, before excusing himself into the kitchen.
The kitchen was pretty sparse, save for a few pots and pans that were in the sink, and some lying about the kitchen counters.
Soma, not seeing any ingredients in the pantry, decided to head to the fridge.
Much to his displeasure, there were almost nothing left in the fridge, save for some eggs, green onions… beef… and rice. Soma narrowed his eyes, silently cursing the cooking kami above, as he had nothing new to showcase his cooking, other than what he served at the Transfer Exam.
Sure, he could make other things with those ingredients, like Yukihira Restaurant Secret Dish #13: Oldstyle Omurice, but that took too long and he really needed to rest his feet after biking.
Getting cracking, it took Soma 15 minutes to work up another healthy serving of A God's Pity, unsure how the landlady would take his dish. She just might keel over and die.
Soma planted the food bomb onto the table, and hid under the table, his eyes peeking as Fumio defused the bomb with a spoon.
But it was too late. As soon as the spoon went into her mouth, the bomb exploded. Shards of shrapnel and explosive epoxies went flying all over the place.
The food bomb was so explosive, Fumio had managed to go back in time, to her younger, more curvaceous body as she let out a loud moan.
"HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN~!" Fumio cried.
Of course, reeling in back to reality, this was majorly disturbing, having an elderly woman moan like she was an adult film actress.
Needless to say, Soma was given the key and room number "303" as he smirked in triumph, heading to his dorm room and falling to sleep.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Kairyiou
Kairyiou There's a very twisted plot coming in the next chapter and it's gonna explain on how this soma is better than canon soma hehehe byee~
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