Chapter 10: Try
May 8, 2019
Thought of the response, did it hurt when you fell from heaven. I took a different look on it.
Did it hurt when you fell?
It wasn't falling that hurt, but living after the impact. I think even in death the pain will remain until I learn to move forward and press on.
No, it's not falling that hurt, it's the hit of the impact and the realization to the sequences of consequences
It'd be so easy to stay there and give up. So much pain and vulnerability to acknowledge you've lost your wings.
Giving up is easy, and hating everything is even easier. To find someone or something to take that blame-that responsibility, and use it as a pedestal to divulge your thoughts from excepting the truth.
It's like a key in the cage. Locking yourself in content staying trapped so you don't have to try.
So easy.
That's what I hate the most.
I never want to feel that miserable again. Without hope. Without help.
Feeling so helpless and not knowing how to not have it anymore. That's why I try.
I have to move forward because I need to find happiness.
If all I know is misery from my past, I will not find satisfaction in there. Take what I learned, and move forward.
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