Chapter 34: Chapter 34
The screams. The yelling. That's all I could hear. At first, it was crying and soft screams. Usually, somebody asking us 'why would we do this?'. But whoever asked that must be pretty fucking stupid.
Like seriously? I just buried my son. I'm only 20. But I guess I can't complain since I know other kids lost their children much young or even in worst ways. Some people were beaten by someone they love and they lost their baby. Or due to stress, they lost their baby.
After a while, the screams and the yelling dimmed down. All I could hear was some woman talking. Usually saying 'it will be okay. you will make it through this.'
Then the voices stopped. It was silent. Then I started to see the light. Or at least what I thought was the light. I slowly opened my eyes and saw that I was strapped down in a hospital bed.
I could barely move. I started to quickly freak out due to my claustrophobia kicking in. I started to scream and call for help.
About 3 nurses rushed in and told me to calm down.
I screamed "No." as loudly as I could and begged them to take off the restraints. After about 30 seconds of me freaking out, they finally gave up on trying to calm me down and untied me from the bed. My first thought was 'where is Logan?'
Then more and more thoughts came flowing through.
Did he die?
Am I dead?
Is this all a dream?
Where are my parents?
I looked around the room a bit and right next to me was another bed and someone was laying in it. I couldn't see because of the curtain. I shoved the nurse who was by my side and stood up. I almost fell due to being so weak.
I slowly walked over to the bed which was on the other side of the room. But as I walked over there the struggle to stand grew more and more by each step I took.
As I walked to the other side of the room I heard multiple nurses telling me to sit down.
"Sweetie please be careful." one nurse said to me. She was the one I had shoved earlier to get out of the bed.
Another quickly spoke up warning me to get back into the bed or I might fall and hurt myself. "Miss. Please get back into the bed. I don't want you hurting yourself. You could do more damage. Let us get you a wheel chair." the other older one spoke. But by the time she finished her sentence I was already at the bed.
And there laid my best friend. Logan. The only person in the world I have left. What if he didn't make it? "Is he going to make it?" I asked the nurse behind me. "Yes, he is just sleeping right now. He woke up about 20 minutes ago. But then quickly went back to sleep after noticing that you weren't awake yet. He got up just like you. He seemed very concerned." The nurse said.
I nodded. "Thank you for making sure he lived," I said. I truly meant that. I don't know what would happen to me if I would have made it and he didn't. I would be all alone in the world. Logan is the only person I have left in the world.
I couldn't live without him. I walked over to my side of the hospital room and took a seat on the bed. "The doctor will be in here soon to ask you a few questions. But before I go, I want you to know that trying to kill yourself isn't the way out honey. I know life is hard. I know. But everything always gets better, I promise." The nurse said looking me into the eyes. I didn't say anything back so she left the room not saying another word to me.
I got more on the bed and laid back trying to close my eyes but couldn't seem to do so. I wonder how long I've been like this. Hours? Days? Months? Time seemed almost irrelevant at the moment cause even though it was on my mind. It sure as hell wasn't as important as Logan waking up.
I was finally able to close my eyes not too long after. After what seemed about only 1 minute of sleep I felt somebody shake me. I slowly opened my eyes and saw a woman in a white jacket.
The doctor.
I opened my eyes all the way and sat up from the bed and swung my legs over so I was sitting on the side of the bed.
"Hello, Doctor," I said in a mellow voice. "We need yo speak." The doctor said. I nodded. "Do we have to wait till Logan is up?" I asked the doctor. I looked up at her and saw her name tag said
'Doctor Mansfield.'
"I'm already up Aria," Logan said behind me. I quickly turned around and saw that Logan was up now. I stood up and ran over to him and jumped on him wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him close to me.
"I missed you so much, Logan. I thought you were dead." I said looking into his eyes after I pulled away from our hug.
"I won't leave you like that. I actually thought you were dead. I woke up not too long ago and saw you laying in that bed. I wasn't able to get up since I was restained. But I guess the whole suicide thing didn't work in the first place.
"Both of you we need to speak with." Doctor Mansfield said. "Can we please have a moment alone, please? I would really like to speak to him." I said looking at Doctor Mansfield.
"Absolutely not. I'm sorry but we can't leave you guys alone," she said looking at us strictly. "And why is that?" I asked her quickly getting snappy.
"Look, I'll give you 5 minutes. But I will be right outside. I just don't want you guys to do anything stupid again." Doctor Mansfield said before exiting the room. Logan scooted over to let me have a bit of room to lay down next to him.
"I love you, Logan," I said. "I love you too Aria. And I truly couldn't live without you. When I woke up I thought that you had died and that I had lived. And the first thing that crossed my mind was 'how can I try to kill myself again without failing?'." Logan admitted. "I can't live witout you iether Logan. You are my best friend. You arte the only person left I have in this world." I said resting my head against his chest. I could feel him breathing in and out and the beat to his heart as silence filled the room.
"But I and you truly need to talk Aria. We need help. We can't do this again. You and I both know that living is what baby Kayden would ave wanted. And after sliting my wrist I noticed that we have so much to live for Aria." Logan said looking into my eyes. "I guess you are right. But how are we suppose to work through this?" I asked him.
"Okay, I have an idea. And I want you to just listen." Logan said making me worried. What is he going to suggest? "I think we should both go see a therapist," Logan said in a low voice almost making sure I didn't hear. But I clearly did.
"I don't know if I can talk to somebody about that type of stuff alone. " I said looking into his eyes. "He meant so much to me and bringing him up just breaks my heart," I stated laying back down onto Logan.
My heart was breaking slowly. And all I was trying to do was repair it. And maybe Logan was right, maybe it would be best to talk to a professional and not bottle it up. Cause learning from the past few days, bottling it up just leads for it to finally blow up.
"I'll go see a therapist. But I think we should go together. I don't want to do it alone. And we both need it. I know you have been hiding your feelings, Logan." I admitted.
"I just don't want you to worry about me Aria. I was trying to fix you. I didn't want you to be sad and upset." Logan said. But before I could say anything else Doctor Mansfield walked in.
"Time's Up. We need to speak. All of us." she said in a stern voice clearly annoyed after giving us a few minutes alone. I nodded.
"So, as a standard, I have to sign you both up for a suicidal watch that the hospital does. Basically, you would go to a center and for about 2 weeks you would live there. Go to a group session where you would talk about what happened and what you can do to make it better." Doctor Mansfield said. My whole face dropped.
"Fuck that," I said and Doctor Mansfield looked shocked by my choice of words. "I am not going to a fucking asylum," I said getting up from the bed and grabbing my jacket that was laying on the chair.
"I'm sorry. It's mandatory. And it will be only for 2 weeks. Both of you will be going. And I will make sure you aren't separated. So, you won't be alone. I've already talked with your parents about it and they are both fine with it." she said.
The FUCK!
My mother agreed to this bullshit?! I swear to fucking god she is gonna hear about it!
"No! I'm not going!" I yelled.
"Calm down Aria. It's for the best." my mother said as she entered the room.
"How could you?" I asked her. My mother opened her mouth but wasn't able to get anything out because the one and only Kaylee walked through the door bumping into my mother and ran over toward Logan and kissing him.
After a few seconds, she pulled away and saw the worst things possible.
"Thank God, Logan. I thought you were dead. And since I thought you were, I really wanted to tell you something. Logan, I'm in love with you."
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