Chapter 14: Seriously awkward.
(A.N: Never done this for the collections, but I find it amusing that so many people ditched this after my last chapter.)
Forneus: Ah I wonder, I said ah! Is your appearance here of great importance, or little?
Dabilosi: Shut up and let me rest a moment.
In my room, I just lay down on my bed for a good 10 minutes. The smooth blankets and soft pillows enveloping me in their warmth and swiftly draining me of the will to do anything else. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and I eventually plucked up enough strength to remove myself. Another twenty minutes were spent deciding whether to go for a black shirt, black jacket and red tie, or black shirt, white jacket and gold tie... With a period in the middle for wondering why the heck we even have this stuff and fretting about how I'm going to live with the shame. That particular train of thought ended with 'just not caring'.
Forneus: What is he doing, whenceforth he will go? Am I to be enlightened?
Dabilosi: I'd rather you didn't know.
Five more minutes were then spent getting all the stuff on, and with that I was ready. Not really, I got some serious stage fright, but I'll live. Plus it would be a complete disgrace is I didn't turn up after all of Nazarick did. Even more than going through with it.
Teleporting to the entrance of the amphitheatrum, and I can already see the masses of creatures, all shapes and sizes, seated around the arena. Guh, it's probably just as well it's quiet, but some movement or, well, anything, would help break this stifling atmosphere. Geez. A small wooden podium has been erected in the centre, with two waist high marble blocks, about a metre apart from each other, on top. It's interesting to note that even though there have only been 35 minutes total, the podium is finished to perfection, not a single notable flaw.
Time to stand around like an idiot on the podium until the guardians arrive. Thinking on it, they must be really busy ensuring their entire floor gets here in time. After all, there are still denizens arriving.
With around 30 seconds until the appointed time, Shalltear arrives and begins moving towards the platform. 5 seconds before time runs out, the other Guardians arrive, seemingly in unison. Aura and Mare were on the extremities of left and right in the VIP box respectively. Cocytus also stood on the right, with Demiurge center right, equal distance apart. Victim on the left, Albedo center left. In the very center was Momonga. Just seeing that guy almost made me crack a smile. If he could display expressions, it would definitely be helpless amusement. It is probably just as well I didn't, because they're making this out to be some solemn ceremony.
Momonga: Do you both know why you are here today?
Dabilosi: Indeed.
Shalltear: I do.
Momonga: Dabilosi is standing here today by his own request, to make it known that verily, responsibility will be taken for actions made by any person. Without exception.
The crime? Shalltear Bloodfallen, assaulted a supreme being after allowing herself to succumb to mind control. Dabilosi believes his crime to be lack of attention, failure to inform Nazarick of key details which may have prevented the situation.
Albedo will be the executor for this punishment.
Dabilosi: If I may, would this punishment be sequential, or simultaneous?
Think you damn walking graveyard. Why would I ask this question?
Momonga: I believe simultaneous would be best.
...I... Am not happy. I subjected myself with this for two reasons, and you just blew one of them to pieces. I wanted to establish a greater basis for trust within Nazarick, one beyond blind loyalty. The second reason is, ahem, no longer important...
Uhm...
That may be a little excessive no?..
Albedo jumps down in full plate armour and holding in both hands what appears to be an incredibly thick bamboo cane. She then walks slowly towards the platform, but not to the point where anyone except myself and possibly Shalltear want her to hurry up. When she gets to the platform, she stops to speak.
Albedo: Shalltear, Dabilosi, we are about to begin.
Gee, I couldn't have worked that out myself. Nevertheless, I lean myself across the block, and pull my trousers just far enough for my rear to be visible. No more, no less.
Shalltear does similarly at about the same time, and I caught the briefest glimpse of her perfectly round buttocks before half-lying on the stone.
Since it was a choice of either looking towards Shalltear or away, I obviously chose to look towards her. She was lightly biting her lip and staring at me, and she was breathing slightly more heavily than usual. That isn't a strange thing to pick up on honestly! My senses have been seriously heightened in this body, so picking up on breathing patterns is like picking up on a person's hand movements while they talk.
Literally three seconds later, I hear the wind rushing behind me and clench my everything. Albedo must have put a lot of force behind that blow because it felt like a bloody train hit me dead on. It was so strong in fact that a small portion of the marble block got dented just from the excess force of my body being pushed into it! Eyes wide, teeth grating, face scrunched up I managed to keep from screaming my lungs out but boy was that difficult.
Shalltear doesn't seem to have fared much better, except for the increasing heavy blush on her face... And the heavy breathing. Ok so now that I've noticed, my manly appendage might try to stand up and disgrace me.
We stand up, using the marble blocks as temporary support until our legs regain enough strength to remember that they exist. I straighten
Dabilosi: I will *legs wobble* - be taking my leave now.
Momonga: Not in that state you won't. Demiurge, escort Dabilosi out. Albedo, Shalltear.
My mouth involuntarily curls up slightly at that. It seems the old, Momonga made a really good decision there. Coming from him it's practically a direct order to Albedo that she needs to build on her relationship with Shalltear and also quickens the pace of Shalltear's recovery by putting her back at work and forcing her brain to function logically instead of emotionally for a time.
Demiurge: It will be as you wish Ainz-sama.
Albedo: Very well Ainz-sama.
Demiurge hopped off the platform and unfurled his wings on the way down with perfect timing, so once he hit the ground, his momentum was all but gone. Pretty sure that's not how it works, but he did it. He then curled them back in and they just seemed to disappear into the back of his outfit - which I'm even more sure isn't how wings work.
Albedo 'helped' Shalltear away by throwing the vampire onto her back and walking as quickly as possible while remaining to look dignified. Demiurge on the other hand put his arm around my back and let me lean on him slightly as we started a stately march to the exit. I briefly wondered whether I looked like a drunk, but it didn't really matter compared to the unceremonious carriage of one Shalltear Bloodfallen so I stopped worrying. The worst of it was over.
Dabilosi: Well. That was, definitely as embarrassing as I assumed it would be. I am glad that it served it's purpose however. I no longer feel guilty for my actions as I have suffered due punishment for it.
Demiurge: Will you continue to the Dragonic Kingdom now Dabilosi-sama?
Dabilosi: No. I believe a rest is needed. Working for too long at a time prevents us from functioning to our full capacity. Of course, saying that, Momonga is an exception to that rule in it's entirety. But I still believe there should be a system for requesting leave. I don't mind if you include something about me, not too large, to give incentive to take occasional leave. On the other hand, I give you full authority to implement as much or as little as you see fit.
Demiurge: I- Very well, I shall see to it either way Dabilosi-sama
Dabilosi: I will be on my way to see Shalltear. I would like to see if this was as effective on her as I remember it being on me. After that and only then will I give myself a much-needed rest.
I activate the ring of Ainz Ooal Gown to teleport to the Grave vault of Adipocere, the most likely place Shalltear will retreat to after a conversation with Albedo, and wait. Since it may be a long wait, I close my eyes to slow down and contemplate my choices so far.
.....
.....
.....
Hmmm? Why am I lying down? Better question, why do I have something soft covering my body?
As I open my eyes I realize that yes, I did fall asleep, and now I am currently in someone else's bed. Considering who is staring directly at me from the side, I'm guessing that this is, most certainly, Shalltear's.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Thousandragons
Thousandragons Yeh, I really felt the title myself while writing this.
Discord link: https://discord.gg/NWRtraT
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