Chapter 19: Yoo Jonghyuk's side quest #18: Compliments are good for the health. [part 15]
Sometimes quietness can help people realize things that otherwise they would normally overlook, but we shouldn't neglect that it can also slowly kill an individual. This is one of those instances where the idiom 'a good servant but a bad master' is best suited. Nevertheless, a prolonged amount of time spent pondering alone can only lead to madness in the end. And that's why is important to have a companion you can share your worries with.
Lee Sookyung was such a person, this is what Kim Dokja wanted to believe.
It wasn't far from the truth. Lee Sookyung, indeed, often loses herself in her own train of thoughts. Whenever she saw that forced smile on her precious son's pale face, she wondered if one day even that faint emotion could well have been lost, too. Nevertheless, no matter how strong she kept rejecting him, that foolish boy would still come back every time wearing that same exact smile.
Kim Dokja's mother never thought of herself as a good parental figure. But despite her contradictory self, she was honestly happy on occasions when he shared his passions with her. Even that usual cold façade could only crack at the sight of those dim eyes finally sparkling with that long-lost foreign brightness.
It had been a book that caused this distance between the two, but now, irony wants that it had to be another book the only thing binding them together. Lee Sookyung thought that their mother-son relationship would be forever trapped in this neverending storytelling limbo.
However, one fateful day, everything had changed. She was met with a son-in-law...? Although that wasn't the problem, she would not have judged anyone's sexual orientation. No, the real concern was his name: 'Yoo Jonghyuk'.
Now that she got more time to consider everything, this definitely can't be a coincidence, right? Next time she must inquire if Yoo Jonghyuk was his real birth name or something he had changed at a later date. But if the latter option was revealed to be true, then that would only multiply her concerns. Either way, no matter what option, one of the two definitely needs to see a good psychiatrist.
This youthful middle-aged lady was now facing off with the only person who had managed to change everything she was familiar with. Seated in front of her, separated only by a layer of thick bulletproof glass, was that notorious 'son-in-law'.
This time the focus wasn't on that somebody whose face Kim Dokja has often used as his default beauty standards. The attention of both Lee Sookyung and the officer beside her was on the shiny object presented before them. With the same emotionless face he showed up with previously, that same person turned up again and delivered an even more outrageous request this time. And she, with the same smile that did not reach her eyes, greeted him back while trying to hide the slight twitch of her left eye.
"I want to entrust Kim Dokja's spare house key to the Deputy Police Chief."
The stunned policewoman gasped and coughed a little, only she and few others were on duty today because everyone else had been scrambling in the office these past few days. And suddenly hearing a name involved in the case had surprised her, but she knows better than to leak out any information. However, it was indeed awkward being innocently caught in the crossfire. That's why she had wisely decided to withdraw.
"Detainee Lee Sookyung, if you need me I'm right outside the door."
The woman wearing an orange overall kept her stiff smile frozen in place, too dazed to answer back. It as if a bolt of lightning had suddenly struck out of a blue sky, and the echoing rumble was all she could hear in her eardrums. The sound of the closing door brought her back from her state of shock. Only, the aftermath of a lightning storm wasn't enough because now there's also an earthquake shaking her entire being.
This stone-faced man had been living together with my son?!
Yoo Jonghyuk felt weirdly unsettled. An ominous bone-chilling sensation suddenly crept over his back. He looked at Kim Dokja's mother skeptically, the latter shot him a subtle glare immediately hidden behind a plastic smile. A dangerous glint flashed by undetected across Lee Sookyung's glassy obsidian eyes. She spoke at a slow and moderate pace while placing a great amount of emphasis on each word coming out from her parted lips.
"The kid trusts you enough to even entrust his house keys to you."
Yoo Jonghyuk, as per usual, didn't shy away from the direct challenge, even if he should have done it this time around. "I don't need it."
Then Lee Sookyung abruptly rose up from her seat, violently slapping down both palms on the dark wooden table while causing an audible cracking sound below her. The chair behind her made a brief but very acute screeching noise before falling down on the floor with a big clatter.
All the clamor could be clearly heard from outside, however, the old policewoman was still being quite reluctant on intervening in this kind of family dispute. In the end, she decided to put her trust in the prisoner Lee Sookyung's good judgment because as a mother herself, she can sympathize with that kind of anger.
"Listen up, you rascal. I didn't complain about the age difference between you and my son. And for heavens' sake, I didn't even complain about the fact that my son's lineage was being cut off by you! And now you come at me, complaining while throwing a stupid tantrum?!"
It had been the second time Yoo Jonghyuk was facing off with a woman's wrath today. This time he was dealing with a more experienced enemy, but it seems like both of them held some deep misunderstanding regarding his relationship with Kim Dokja. That's why before continuing the argument with Lee Sookyung, he must clarify that misconception first.
"We never had that kind of relationship."
"That's even worse! Do you mean that my son's affection was one-sided?"
「 Affection? 」
The regressor almost scoffed as he tried to hold back that stifled self-mocking laughter. Yoo Jonghyuk wordlessly lowered his head, freely allowing strands of black bangs to cover his darkening expression. An indescribable emotion flashed through his lustrous dark phoenix eyes before shutting them close. His voice came out way more hoarse and shakier than he would have wanted.
"He had never trusted me to begin with."
Lee Sookyung kept shooting questions as if she was an unstoppable trebuchet that kept firing towards its target, not allowing the enemy to rest for even a moment. She must pry open those obstinate eyes even if she has to put aside her pride, lowering herself to argue with the younger generation!
"Then why do you still care about him"
"Then why are you here?"
Every question had hit bullseyes on the biggest shortcomings of the current Yoo Jonghyuk. The older the ginger, the hotter the spice. That old proverb couldn't find itself a better example in this situation. A thick sense of helplessness washed over, why must everyone misunderstand him?
It as if everything was scripted just to mess with him.
"You! How blind can you get-" The exasperated mother interrupted her speech mid-way. Taking in a deep breath before remaining silent for almost half a minute. She had definitely fully utilized this short spawn of time to cuss at the regressor's entire ancestry tree.
With an exasperated sigh and scrunched forehead, she bent down to pick up the fallen chair, slowly dragging it forward before hitting the ground of its original spot with all four legs, creating a loud thud sound in the silent room. After rubbing her eyebrows in frustration, the stern woman sat on the chair, crossing both arms before her chest.
"Fine, I must admit that what my son's feelings towards you weren't totally sincere either."
Yoo Jonghyuk raised his head. Those words brought a strange suffocating feeling over his heart.
"For you who shares the same name with that person. I don't know if I should pity you who fell for my obnoxious son, or my son who is trapped inside his own obsession."
Yoo Jonghyuk was confused and also quite tired. This misunderstanding may have been something bigger than anything he could have ever imagined it to be.
"He doesn't love me and neither do I."
Lee Sookyung furrowed her brows and shot a piercing glare towards the bastard who accomplished more than she ever did for her beloved son. But that blind airhead was still adamant to admit it.
"What are you getting all fussy about?"
From one side, she was happy that Kim Dokja was starting to build a nice relationship with another human being, even though she believes that this human being is actually fueling her son's strange obsession regarding a certain novel. And on the other side, she is absolutely feeling undeniable jealousy towards both 'Yoo Jonghyuk's!
"I'm just an old lady discussing my adorable son's love life with you. Even a prisoner can have freedom of speech."
"I will leave the key here then."
"Stay put."
Yoo Jonghyuk frowned while grunting in response, but in the end, he still decided to remain here. Lee Sookyung's piercing gaze was somehow making him more conscious of his behavior. His arrogance seemed to falter against that deep scrutinizing gaze. Even he wasn't able to understand his strange behavior these days, just when did his confidence had begun to waver?
"Usually I should have let my son tell you, but in the end, this makes no difference whatsoever."
"Yoo Jonghyuk, do you want to hear Kim Dokja's story?"
The black-clothed man, still hunched over while looking at the ground, could have easily refused, but something within had prompted him to nod in consent against his own volition.
Lee Sookyung's smile still looked the same as before, and yet for some inexplicable reasons, he found it difficult to keep looking straight at her. Those eyes contained a wisp of nostalgia and reminiscence as she talked with an unhurried pace.
"My son, he is someone who can easily blend into the surroundings."
"Yet he is also someone without any sense of belonging."
"He missed a lot in his life because of me. It wouldn't come as a surprise if he hates me."
Contrasting the harsh words towards herself, Lee Sookyung spoke about Kim Dokja with a melancholic tone, and yet on her face, those placid eyes did not waver even a single bit. She even added a few dispirited chuckles between her sentences, as if the subject of the discussion didn't manage to affect her mood at all.
"His tongue was harsh, but his heart's mellow. He pretends to be tough when he isn't. He always prioritized others even though he says that everything done so far was just for his personal gain only."
Yoo Jonghyuk paused for a moment before arching his brows in a meaningful expression. It was like Lee Sookyung was talking about the Kim Dokja of the future, but not the Kim Dokja he had encountered here. In the regressor's opinion, the teen was rather talkative and overall, a very amiable person to chat with. Unlike a certain someone from the future who only knows how to contradict him.
"Kim Dokja isn't that guarded up."
「 With me. 」He wanted to add, but the words get stuck on his throat before he could voice them out.
With that statement, he managed to silence the woman before him. However, the expression on her face slowly turned extremely sour and condescending.
"You're lucky he isn't."
"You see, Dokja, my son has always shown a liking towards literature. And rather than human skinship such as holding hands with another individual, he much more preferred the soft touch of the paper between the tip of his small fingers."
"His eyes shone whenever a book was in his hands and the light emitted was a peculiar one. And those times made me worry because I thought, did I cursed my child? That name... Do I regret giving it?"
"The answer was simple, I didn't. He looked the happiest inside his own little world, but there was one moment when that light started to flicker. It was when he stumbled for the first time, the story had ended but he still craved for more. That child, he told me that it felt like a betrayal to him."
"Books... or better, the characters of those books were his only companions. He had always longed for someone that could understand him, empathize with him. And with the ending of a story, the only connection he had with them was severed."
Yoo Jonghyuk silently listened as his mind materialized the image of an even younger version of Kim Dokja he did not know. Even the one he's most familiar with feels so alien now. Everything had been one-sided, Kim Dokja knew him, but he couldn't even force himself to care to do the same.
He couldn't understand him at all, those strong feelings that Kim Dokja had, he did not know them. How he sacrificed himself and how he had helped him...
Maybe it was because Anna Croft's betrayal seared too deep inside his heart, and Kim Dokja's behavior resemblance to her had involuntarily opened an old scar. His hidden fear of being used as a tool by others caused him to see almost everyone else as the latter. He often overestimates himself and would coldheartedly shrug away Kim Dokja's sincerity.
However, was that person really honest with him? Yoo Jonghyuk had long realized that Kim Dokja was shrouded with more mysteries than himself.
As if Lee Sookyung had heard his thoughts, the next thing she said sounded as if she was trying to justify Kim Dokja's actions.
"You see, Kim Dokja isn't a good actor as he makes himself to be. Because he is a child that had always lived in his own world and sometimes there are no clear distinctions between reality and fiction for him. So my opinion of my son is that: he isn't a faker nor he is an actor, but he is still hiding his true self."
"Kim Dokja is just simply Kim Dokja. And there are no better adjectives to describe him."
After a long time where only Lee Sookyung had one-sidedly talked, a deep masculine voice had spoken up for the first time in a while after her last sentence. And what came out from his mouth was just a single name before falling, drowning himself deep into his thoughts again.
"Kim Dokja..."
「 ... He was indeed just Kim Dokja. 」
「 Not a prophet nor an enemy. He was just a man before anything else. A man who decided to trust him in his own ways. Bearing every hardship by himself. 」
「 Caring. 」
「 Unlike him. 」
The woman looked before her with a complicated gaze.
"After all of this, you still don't understand? You really are a stupid sunfish, Yoo Jonghyuk." Lee Sookyung lamentation sounded otherwise very uncharacteristic from her usual self.
"Excuse me?"
The regressor was surprised by the sudden shift from the formal speech to informal, but reality didn't allow him to dwell further into this matter. From where the old officer had situated herself, a series of frantic shouting had attracted both's attention.
CREATORS' THOUGHTS 
Arrange
Arrange Sorry for the delay, but here's the chapter! I revaluated my past decisions and the path before me is more clear. But then I remembered that school still exist soo, welp.
(P.S. may edit later)
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