Chapter 7: Chapter 6: We've deemed it a suicide attempt
Summary:
Namjoon followed his boss and the foreign doctor down a series of hallways. He felt how tense the air was. The warm smile Dr. Talbot previously had, had disappeared and turned into a frown as soon as they exited the waiting room. Dr.Talbot stopped in front of a large conference room, it held a long table and a tv at the far end with a coffee machine right under it. His uneasy feeling had only grown immensely, why did they want to speak with him alone? What was going on?
Notes:
A huge thanks to my new friend Celia who helped me edit this chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Namjoon followed his boss and the foreign doctor down a series of hallways. He felt how tense the air was. The warm smile Dr. Talbot previously had, had disappeared and turned into a frown as soon as they exited the waiting room. Dr.Talbot stopped in front of a large conference room, it held a long table and a tv at the far end with a coffee machine right under it. His uneasy feeling had only grown immensely, why did they want to speak with him alone? What was going on?
Dr.Talbot sat at the head of the long table in front of the shiny black tv. Namjoon and the CEO sat at either side of him. The doctor sighed heavily, "I won't sugarcoat why Mr.Park is here. He took an entire bottle of a common sleeping pill called Eszopiclone, then slit his left wrist. He then fell and hit his head against the ground, hard enough to send him into a coma. After reviewing the video recording from that room we've deemed it a suicide attempt." Namjoon couldn't breathe, he couldn't believe what the doctor had said, he wouldn't.
"When Mr.Park arrived he wasn't breathing properly, and had lost quite a bit of blood. We had to pump his stomach. Then we put him on a machine to help him with breathing. As of right now he has a blockage in his large intestine and his small intestine is twisted up, he's going to need a surgery as soon as possible. But he's very weak from blood loss and his fall, so we are trying to hold off on it as long as we can."
Namjoon knew wet salty tears were falling down his face. He should have known, how had he not known? All the signs were right there! Why couldn't he have been a better leader? BangPD-nim spoke up, "We wanted to tell you first because as the leader of BTS you have a right to tell the boys yourself. But understand you don't have to."
How could he? How could he tell Taehyung; his soulmate, Yoongi; his brother, Hoseok; one of his best friends, Jin; basically his child, and Jungkook; the love of his life tried to take his own life? How could he tell them the glue that holds them all together, the heaven sent angel of their group tried to remove himself from the world? It took everything he had to not burst from the room to find his tiny friend and just hold him in his arms till both their worries faded.
"You- You know I can't…", Namjoon stuttered quietly. Bang nodded, "That's a perfectly acceptable choice." Dr. Talbot stood up making his way to the door, "At present Mr.Park is stable, you can go see him if you want, but we can only allow one visitor at a time. However, I completely understand if you want to be with your group right now." As much as Namjoon wanted to run to Jimin, to hold hm, to make sure he was ok, he needed to be there for his family. He spoke firmly, "I want to be there. I-I just can't tell them."
Dr.Talbot offered him a small smile and a little black device with a few buttons, "I understand, when you want to see him, page me and I'll have someone bring you to him." He made his way towards the door and held it open for Namjoon and Mr.Bang.
As they walked back to the room where his family was anxiously waiting, he realized how much they were going to hurt. How it was all his fault. If only he had been a better leader and friend to Jimin, if only he had known how Jimin was feeling. Why didn't he realize? How could he do this to them, to Jimin? He didn't think he was ready for them to know, to hurt the way he knew they were going to. His thoughts were interrupted as they reached the door.
Namjoon couldn't look at the worried faces of his bandmates, couldn't see the pain in their eyes. He opted instead to seek comfort from Yoongi, sitting next to him in one of the uncomfortable wood chairs and taking his hand, keeping his gaze on the off-white floor.
No one said anything for awhile, everyone in the room wanted to know what was going on with Jimin but if it could render Namjoon speechless, did they really? Hoseok wanted to cry, to make a scene, to get to the bottom of where his Jimin was, if he was ok. But his body betrayed him and stayed still, his throat was too dry to speak anyway, twice he had fallen asleep on his boyfriend with his mouth wide open that early morning.
"God damn it! I can't take it anymore! Just tell us what happened, is he ok?" Hoseok himself was surprised by his sudden violent outburst, but he stood by it—giving the doctor what he hoped was a challenging look. Jin sent him a pointed but impressed look.
"I'll be frank, as it seems that's what you prefer. After reviewing the video recording from the room and treating Mr.Park, we are certain this incident was a suicide attempt. Mr.Park took an entire bottle of sleeping pills, then slit his left wrist. He went into a state of seizure and when he tried to stand up, he slipped and hit his head on the floor of the studio. When he arrived to us he was not breathing properly and had lost a fair amount of blood, we had to do a stomach pump and stitch his wrist up. He is currently unresponsive, but is stable. As of right now he still needs a surgery, your friend is in a state of coma." A page in the doctor's pocket started going off suddenly and the intercom above spoke, "Dr.Talbot you are need in surgery room 2249 immediately!" Dr. Talbot's pretty green eyes widened quickly, "I am very sorry but I have to leave right now, Namjoon you have the pager." He nods at him swiftly and leaves in a hurry.
If it had been chaos before, it was all hell now. Jin let out a loud sob, letting his guard down for the first time since they had received the call all those hours ago.
Yoongi tried to stand and immediately fell to his knees, sobs racking his thin body. Namjoon followed him down wrapping an arm around the smaller man, feeling safe just by holding him. How could Yoongi have been so blind? He promised Jimin he would always be there for him! How could he have just sat there when Jimin was suffering alone?
Jungkook who hadn't sat down slowly found the seat behind him, burying his face in his hands, muttering small "No's" that gradually got louder and louder. Hoseok had found his way into Jin's arms, sobbing alongside his hyung.
And Taehyung? Taehyung felt the fury of a thousand suns all at once. How could Jimin do this to him? To them? To ARMY? Didn't he know they loved him? That he loved him? How could Jimin be that selfish?! Before he could stop himself Taehyung had punched the wall narrowly missing the side of the tv, leaving a small dent in the wall, and a not so small bruise on his knuckle. He stormed from the room, seeing red. How could his Jiminie do this?
He found himself raging down the hallway towards the hospital entrance. He knew quite well that he was risking being seen and noticed outside but he really didn't care. He needed the fresh air, the stench of the disinfectant was suffocating him. Damn it! He needed a cigarette, a habit he had had when he was younger. One that Jimin had begged him to stop, had helped him with. Jimin had stuck with him through the withdrawals. He can still vividly remember the moment he had truly decided to stop.
A young teenaged Taehyung had snuck out of the dorms to smoke a cigarette. He had been stressed lately, and the fact that the first set of finals were coming up didn't help. Smoking helped him relax, once he smoked one he could sleep soundly and peacefully. He would wait until he was sure Jimin had fallen asleep, then he would sneak out to the ally behind the dorm building and smoke one. He remembers thinking that the school should have really focused more on the security.
He had stayed out that night a little longer than he usually did, smoking three instead of one. He really did need it! The homeroom teacher seemed to hate him, and was extra hard on him that day. He remembers the high [pitched voice of his best friend calling out to him, startling the wits out of him at the time. He remembers the sweet smile Jimin gave him, "Don't worry, I won't tell on you this time. But if I catch you again I will. I can't watch you kill yourself slowly Taetae, I care about you so much." Jimin stood proud, looking confident, but his shaky voice had betrayed him. At that moment Taehyung decided he wanted to stop. And Jimin had helped him through it all, putting up with his mood swings, basically treating him like a sick child. Taehyung would never be able to express how much those months meant to him. It was an act of kindness he would never be able to repay.
He found his way to one of the hospital restrooms. Putting his hands on either side of the sink, he put all his weight on them looking at himself in the mirror. He saw tears running down his puffy face, when had he started crying?
His phone buzzed in his pocket, and that's when it dawned on him. The phone call! Jimin had called him before he had done it. And Taehyung had just blown him off for Hoseok.
The restroom door opened behind him and Hoseok walked through, "Tae? Are you in here?" Hoseok's eyes met his and looked relieved, "There you are, I was so worried! You just walked out." Hoseok put his hand on Taehyung's arm and then reached in for a hug, "Don't touch me!", Taehyung screams and pushes his boyfriend away with enough force to make the older stumble a little. Hoseok looked up, tears rolling down his face.
"He was right! I blew him off, for- for you!" "Taehyung.. " Hoseok tried to move closer. "I said stay away" Taehyung hissed, but his defensive stance fell when he saw the other backing away and the fear on his face. Hoseok turned and ran.
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