Chapter 43: Chapter 42.
With a raging little brother assaulted by non stop vibrations and the constant threat of an untimely explosion, we made our way onto the highway. I kept the handles almost completely turned forward and we traversed the highway at 300 miles per hour as we zig zagged through the crowd of cars like we were the protagonists in a high speed action movie. I undoubtedly required practice with this sort of thing in the event we needed to make a getaway in the future.
The first idea I had in mind for a date was some leisure time spent together at the amusement park near the harbor with my wife. That was pretty standard for a date, right?
Honk. Honk. Hoooongk.
Beep. Beep. Beeeeeep.
As we passed by the other cars on the highway at three times their speed, there were naturally many people extremely dissatisfied and startled. Some were scared witless when we passed by them out of nowhere like that, it was so bad that they were nearly shocked to death.
If I was them I'd very likely be in the same state of shock after all. I'd definitely jot down the license plate and report the jerk who pulled off this sort of stunt to the police.
Hahahahahahaha! Too bad there's no license plate for you guys to report me.
Could you even read it if there was one? You'd be eating my dust before you even registered that I'd blown far past you.
Unfortunately after I'd driven like this for so long, I was really at the limit of what a certain little brother could withstand. Luckily we'd safely made it to the amusement park by the time I could endure no more.
I parked the quadricycle in the parking lot and covered it up with a cloak I asked my wife for.
I asked her to make it so only we could see it and to also make it so others were unable to perceive the parking spot. They'd only see a regular plain looking car in the stall instead of the flashy quadricycle so as to not get any ideas to steal it; as well as to prevent anyone from trying to park and crashing into it in its invisible state. Naturally, it was all to prevent any unforeseen incidents from occurring that may disrupt our date. Mistakes would not be tolerated on this first date between husband and wife.
When we made our way out of the parking lot and arrived at the ticket gate, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a certain out of place girl with platinum coloured hair.
When I squinted my eyes a bit I realized who it was. Holy crap! Wasn't that my disciple?! Uhh… she looks really depressed like she doesn't know what to do.
Well, she was all alone in a strange unfamiliar place with no one to rely on. You'd definitely be confused when you reach such a place with no one around to help you.
Haaaah. Being a good master was such a troublesome thing. I shook my head in lamentation over how much I doted on my disciples as their master. I tapped my wife's shoulder and pointed over to the girl who had her head buried in her knees, defenselessly on a bench outside the park isolated by herself.
"Ah? That little disciple of yours? What is she doing?"
"My wife, do you mind making it so she can't see you?"
"Husband, you're telling your wife to get lost to see another girl while you're in the middle of a date. Do you have a death wish?"
"But look at how pitiful she is. Doesn't it pain your heart to see her like that?"
"Stinky husband, did you fall for this little kid because she let you feel her chest?"
"She is my first disciple, I must naturally dote on her!"
"Because she's a bit pretty and appears to be in a weakened state right now?"
"Geh."
"I would- I would never do that."
"Because you want to con her into thinking you're some sort of untouchable master?"
"Ack."
She hit me right where it hurts.
My wife sighed then shook her head before she rolled her eyes and responded, with a tinge of visible displeasure on her face, "fine."
It's really nice having such an understanding wife.
I put on the robe my wife gave me, the one I wore when I first met my little disciple, and covered my head with the hood so she couldn't see my full face.
I strolled over to the lonesome girl on the bench while my wife hugged onto my arm and glared at me a bit resentfully for putting my disciple ahead of our date.
I stopped in front of her and stood there silently without saying anything. I wasn't really sure how to break the ice with my wife who was viciously pinching the right side of my waist.
It seems my little disciple noticed my presence from the shadow that blocked out the sunlight in front of her. The shadow around her painted quite a lovely scene, with the ocean to her front and the swaying trees to her rear. Her slippers were placed on the ground and her bare feet were perched on the bench. Her cute little toes curled around the edge of the bench. Her shin, knees and the back part of her thighs were in plain view for my wandering eyes to gawk at. Her sect garment was a one piece type after all and revealed quite a bit when in this posture. The bottom was a long skirt styled portion opened up from underneath when wrapped around her delicate body. It was truly a difficult task to avert your eyes from her when she'd blended in perfectly with the scenery like this.
Did she really not have any sense of fear of being assaulted when she was like this though? Isn't she a bit too daring for a youth her age? This little disciple really isn't bad in terms of appearance though.
When my wife saw how I gawked at her like an idiot; irked, she stomped down on my foot and snapped me out of my trance. Damn it! THAT HURT LIKE HELL! She's a freaking lower realm god, she does realize that, right? Luckily, I just barely held back the pained scream that I nearly released.
I could tell my face had turned a few shades paler, but deep down I knew I got off easy. She at least showed some level of restraint. If she really wanted me to scream out like a baby and make me lose all face in front of my disciple she would have done so just now.
She had more than enough power to blast my body into oblivion with a fart, let alone a stomp. To be quite frank I'm likely overestimating my abilities to begin with. A fart would still likely be overkill. Actually no, that is all wrong, my little wife would never do something as uncouth as fart to begin with. A prim and proper lady with a cultivation as high as hers would never allow such impurities to form within her body. Such vile impurities would certainly be purged and never have a chance to be expelled through her fine derriere.
Anyways, the point is, a master can never show such an embarrassing sight of weakness in front of their disciple.
After standing there in front of her in silence for some time, my little disciple eventually responded to my presence and questioned, "what?"
She didn't even garner to look up at who stood filled with pride before her.
When I didn't respond, she shook her head left and right; her cheeks rubbed against her thighs as she let out a resigned sigh and dejectedly muttered to herself, "it's not like anyone here can even understand my words."
Eh? What was that supposed to mean? I looked over to my wife with an inquisitive look on my face.
For some reason she momentarily had an appearance of utter confusion in her eyes before her face suddenly transitioned into slight uncertainty and finally ended in guilt.
When she understood what my little disciple meant she said, "I forgot because it wasn't a problem for you since I gave you that robe. That robe has the ability to automatically translate all languages so both the speaker and the listener can understand each other. That was the reason you had no difficulty communicating with the people of that realm when we first entered it."
"Language translation really isn't an issue in the realm we were in to begin with. There are many artifacts that have such convenient functions there. The people from the empire naturally have such artifacts and wear them at all times. It eliminates all barriers between groups. It's such a wide spread item that I completely forgot how dilapidated the Good Fortune Sect was and I took it for granted everyone had them."
"I see, I see. Haaah. So they can't even afford those talismans now. Back in the days when I lorded over that realm I made that talisman and distributed it for free all across the realm."
"Because of that, language barriers had never been a problem so I overlooked it when it came to the disciples from the Good Fortune sect. To think that patriarch was this incompetent to not even give one to the better disciples in the sect."
"Tch. He probably thought it was too expensive and cut costs to focus on raising the disciples' strength. That half assed Patriarch, making more unnecessary work for me!"
"Husband, take this talisman and give it to your little disciple. I'll be back in no time at all, I just need to go distribute these to the other disciples. I'll give you half an hour with your little disciple, don't you dare cheat on me in the meantime. Hehe. I'll know right away if you do."
Little wife, do you think I have the balls to cheat on you? I'm not a masochist after all. I've had enough bullying and punishments. This isn't an excited face I'm making just for the record. It's a face of, please cut me some slack, you're a bit scary right now.
"Tch. Husband, please work on hiding the excitement in your eyes, it makes me want to bully you."
With that said, my wife abruptly disappeared like a magician without another word and it was just the two of us remaining.
While I stood there in silence, I recomposed myself and let the air of a true master spill out from every pore of my body. Without any warning the wind suddenly picked up and blew strongly against us from our side. My cute little disciple's long platinum coloured hair raised up and blew to her right while my robe fluttered in the wind with a crisp sound.
Thinking this was the most opportune moment, I stretched my hand out and placed it gently on her head as I rustled through her hair. Huhuhu. Don't worry little girl, I'm not some creepy strange uncle.
When she felt my hand on her head I sensed a slight tremble from her body. It was not a tremble of fear, it definitely wasn't that, okay? I'm not a criminal. At least not yet.
Besides, even if I turned to crime it would at least be for a cool reason, not something weird like touching a girl inappropriately; not that this was in any way inappropriate. For example it would be something like I killed a man with the flick of a finger, it only being criminal how powerful I was. Thus I was only guilty of being a man too powerful that the law could not comprehend. A suave man with a fist that could even part the ocean, cause the stars to align, and set countless worlds ablaze.
"Ma…" She tried to say something, but her words were stuck in her throat. It was like she feared her guess was incorrect. She hesitantly parted her legs a bit and peeked through the gap that was formed. When her eyes landed on the black ancient robe I'd donned, she trembled once more. She slowly raised her lowered watery eyes upwards and saw the gentle smile hidden beneath my hood. That was all she could see as I made sure the hood completely covered the rest of my face.
It was at this point I opened my mouth and said as gently and dotingly as possible, "not bad my little disciple, you're already a 1st realm semi transcendent."
"Master? Is it really you?"
Her occasional one off tremble turned more prominent and distinct until she was unable to control it. I felt when her heartbeat accelerated through my palm on top of her head.
Her eyes misted up and I heard the longing in her voice. Did she really miss me that much, or was she just weakened and felt lonely since she was in such an unfamiliar place? Damn it, little Han, aren't you too useless? Shouldn't it be you who found my little disciple and whisked her away off her feet?
When I find you I'm definitely going to give you a stern lecture on how to win the heart of the apple of your eye.
"You can't even recognize your master after a few days?"
She hurriedly retorted like she'd counted the seconds and minutes.
"It's been 7 days, 18 hours and exactly 32 minutes since then master. How can you say that is just a few days? Take responsibility for your disciple!"
Holy crap, was she really counting? Isn't that scary?
"How could you leave me alone in this realm for a whole four hours without coming to my side? Didn't you specifically say, 'you need not worry about contacting me. I'll always know how you are doing regardless of your situation,' aren't you a bit too cocky master?"
"I said that? Why doesn't master remember?"
"You did say that, didn't you?!"
Eh? Aren't you a bit scary right now, how did you remember that verbatim anyways?
"I know I said it, but you definitely took my words too seriously, right? Do you expect your master to peep in on you showering or enjoying yourself in the late hours of night?"
"I don't mind at all. In fact, please go ahead and enjoy the sight as much as you like master! I can even start doing both at the same time if you like."
Holy shit! For real? Really? Can I? You will? You mean you already do them separately? Isn't my cute little disciple too daring? No no no no, as your master, how can your master possibly do such sinister vile things?
"Ehem. Anyways… I naturally was aware of your situation, but a master must allow their disciple to grow. The loneliness you just felt was a necessary experience."
"So you just watched as I cried my eyes out all alone crying out 'master, master, where are you?!'"
What? For real? Did you really do that? Is this a test to see if I was really watching you?
I determined it was necessary to dodge the bullet here, no answer was the best answer I had.
Instead of answering her, I lifted my hand away from her head and she let out an, "ah!"
It looks like she didn't want me to stop caressing her head and doting on her.
To avoid the question, I grabbed her delicate little hand, pulled her forward off of the bench and wrapped my arms around in a light embrace. I softly said, "there, there, master is sorry for not coming sooner."
I raised my hand behind her and stroked her back lightly. I couldn't see it, but her face that she'd buried deeply into my chest was flushed completely red. Her heartbeat was off the chart, more so than before and I was afraid she might go into cardiac arrest at this rate. She wrapped her frail arms tightly around my back and pressed her face deeper into my chest. Things were getting a bit dangerous and I realized I needed to pull away. I heard her inhaling deeply like she was trying to forever engrave my scent into the depths of her heart.
Uhmm this doesn't constitute cheating, right?
It's just a master doting on his disciple still, right? Right?! I haven't crossed any borders that should not be crossed. I'm still safe, right my wife?!
It was then that I heard from the void, the voice of my still out of sight wife, rang out and heard the words, "strike one."
My heart leaped through my chest in horror. Holy shit, she wasn't kidding. Crap, I've got to get this kid off me. It was my mistake, please give your master a break!
I don't want to die yet. I want to live a long carefree life. I don't need a harem! Just some people who will weather a few storms for me when needed! I'm sorry for trying to brainwash you, so please just let go of me you crazy little disciple in the middle of puberty.
I tried to gently push her away, but damn! This girl's strength, isn't it a bit too strong? I'm four realms above you, can you not embarrass your master like this.
She started giggling and said, "master you don't need to act shy. Your little Chu'er doesn't mind if others are watching."
You might not care, but my life is on the line here. Sweat broke out all over my body.
"Chu'er just for the record, I'm pretty sure I said this before, but I am a married man."
"This little girl doesn't quite understand. For some reason it sounds like you're speaking another language."
You're kidding me, right? You understood every word I said before. Don't suddenly act like there is a language barrier little girl! What was with that foreigner like accent anyways? Do you think your master is an idiot?
"Chu'er I'm being serious. Your master is a man dedicated to his wife in both body and soul."
"Then I'll be a mistress."
"No no no. Your master can only ever love one woman. There is definitely a better candidate for your love interest."
"There isn't."
"Chu'er, your feeling will definitely change if you attain what you once thought was unattainable. You're just repeating the same mistake."
"I am not, even if your wife is all powerful, I will undoubtedly surpass and become far stronger than her. You mentioned something about the strength of a lower realm god, well I'll surpass that level one day and make your wife accept me as a mistress."
Once again the voice of my wife that only I could hear rung out from the void, "strike two. Huhuhu, you better hope and pray you don't get a third strike while on our date… husband."
Holy crap! What do I do? How about I just say nothing? At least if we don't talk I can't get another strike, right?
"Master, I love you. I'll definitely capture your heart one day. I'll definitely make you want to push me down one day."
I'll repeat this one more time for emphasis, but this is not a harem! I don't want one! Only a stupid main character like little Han can have that! Main characters just get shit on in all directions. No thank you! I wouldn't touch that route with a twenty foot pole!
All I wanted to do was console and dote on my disciple a teensy little bit, why was I cursed to be so damned attractive?
A voice rung out that had my skeleton almost leap out of my body in fright.
"Ball one."
NoOoOoOo!!! Eh? What? It was definitely my wife's voice, but what did she say? Ball one? Damn it! Are you teasing me again?!
Please don't give your husband a heart attack like that! I thought I was about to die. Is it fun watching your husband squirm like this?
It was like she knew exactly what I'd just thought as her voice rang out again with a light giggle and confirmed, "it is."
Was I really that predictable?
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