Chapter 2: Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror!

This is stinky dog coming to you on the hottest day of the summer. So, unless you live at the beach, I say take it easy and do nothing today. Yup, just find yourself a shady tree and maybe an aquatic mammal at some sort and blow the whole day off. Come on, Ferb! If we let a little heat stop us from having the best day ever, then the morning deejays win. Whew! Boy, it's hot today. So, what are you up to? We're making our own beach right here in the backyard. Oh, how cute. Well, I'm off for my spa day. You boys behave yourselves and don't bother your father. He's finally cleaning out the basement. Bye mom! Yes! You heard her. We can't bug dad, which makes me in charge. By default. Carry on. We're going to need more sand. Hey, where's Perry? Good morning Agent P! Lawn gnomes across the Tri-State Area are disappearing leaving thousands of gardens unprotected from the evil of black magic. We suspect Doofenshmirtz. Get right on it! Aren't you a little young to be a landscape contractor? Yes. Yes, I am. Hi Phineas. Oh, hey Isabella. Whatcha doin'? Building a beach. Check it out. Can me and the other Fireside Girls be lifeguards? We need to earn our aquatic safety badges. Sure. I mean, I've been a friend of Susie's longer than Katie so I should have been invited to that party first. Who cares if they're lab partners? We're locker neighbors, and locker neighbors trump lab partners any day. Sorry, Stacy! Got to go! Welcome to our beach. Ha! You call that a beach? This is way below your usual standard. This isn't even worth a call to mom. You know, if you guys ever want to be popular, you're going to have to stop playing in sandboxes. Hey! So, Candace! What do you think? That's it! I'm calling mom. Hey Candace! Jenny? Stacy? You never told us you had a beach in your backyard. You're going to be the most popular girl in the neighborhood. I will? I just saw Jeremy and his buddies with their surfboards. Jeremy's here? Got to go! Perry! Oh yes! Yes! Just look at my bounty of gnome riches. Oh, this is a strange one. Wait! Who are you? A platypus? Perry the platypus! You are mine now! Oh, no, wait, wait, wait-- that was the garage door opener. You are mine now! And that was the TV remote. I've got to start labeling these things. Aha! You're mine now! Finally, I will rid myself of you. But first, turn your attention to the giant screen and-- maybe I need to turn the cable on first? Let's get this beach party started! Well, we wake up early and wax our surfboards down (We'll hit the beach, yeah, we'll hit the beach) Throw our board shorts on and head for surfin' town (We'll hit the beach, yeah, we'll hit the beach) Hey, look! I can see our house from up here. Doh! How low can you go? How low can you go? Look! So that's how low you can go. They've been asking that question for generations. What? What's everybody looking at? For winning the limbo contest you're now officially crowned Queen Wahini of the beach. All hail Queen Wahini! I can't believe it. Listen up people and I'll teach ya Bout Phineas and Ferb and the backyard beach, yah Every morning, Phineas, he gonna say (Say!) "Brother, whatcha gonna do today?" Now you see we're having fun Playing under the sun, And get in line, get in line Cause the wet ski's running A backyard beach, a backyard beach Nothing's outta reach, we got the backyard beach You can change in the broken hut, Drink out of a coconut, Three games for a token, but the rest is free You got skiing, parasailing, Surfing and a-flailing, Your contacts need saline, or else you can't see Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach Nothing's out of reach, we got the backyard beach Got the backyard beach, a backyard beach, Don't fall into the breach, got the backyard beach! I've never been happier in my entire life. Something is very wrong. Not a single call from Candace not even a text message. Oga, hose me down. I'm going home. Okay, I think I finally got the right one. Now, Perry the platypus You will finally understand my pain. Back in Gimmelschtump in the days of my youth, the Doofenshmirtzes were a proud family. But those were lean times for my father, and our beloved lawn gnome was repossessed. Who would protect our ancient garden from witches, spells, and wood trolls? From a tender age, my father decided that it will be me. While the other children played kick the schumptel and ate doonkelberries, I would stand for hours. All through the cold night, as the spitzenhounds howled My only companion was the moon. And my neighbor Kenny. So, since my lawn gnome was taken away from me, I will destroy every lawn gnome in the entire Tri-State Area! Behold! The Destructinator! And now, Perry the platypus to activate my creation No! Surf contest! Out of my way, jennabelle. Hello, Buford! Perhaps you missed the sign. "No bullying. No yodelling"? I don't like this any more than you do. First up in the surf contest is Bobby Nelson. Oh! And Nelson eats it on a 5-footer! And there's Django Brown shooting a curl. And here comes Buford Von Stomp. Oh! He pummels Brown with a philadelphia traffic stop. And now he's got him in a half Nelson. No, it's whole Nelson! Oh! And now he's actually beating him with Bobby Nelson! Here's the scores from our judges, and Buford doesn't like it one bit. Next up is Phineas Flynn, and it's great to see a young surfer shows such confidence. Uh-oh! What's this? Oh, those kids today and their holographic projections. He's in the pipeline. Now he's hanging 10. He's hanging 20! He's hanging 32! Now he's just hanging! The crowd loves it. I don't think there's a name for that. The crowd is doing the wave and Phineas is surfing it! Let's go to the judges. Ten to the fifth power, infinity, and oh! It seems Phineas Flynn's radical surfing has made judge No 3 rethinks Einstein's theory of Relativity. Cowabunga! Laws of nature! So, are you having fun? Girl The moment has arrived. . Just one second. Hello? Um, Candace? Is everything okay? Oh, everything is just wonderful. And Phineas and Ferb? What are they doing? Such a wonderful thing. Candace, honey. I'm coming home. Wait, what? I'm right around the corner. I'll be there in 2 minutes. Oh, wait! No mum! You can't! Oh, wait wait! Stay right there. Got to stop her! Oh. No, no, no,no, no! Mum! Mum! Please, Mum! Go away! Don't come in! Is that volcano? Gnomes! Uhn! Run for your life! It's gnome-ageddon! Who's protecting our gardens? Candace, tell me the truth. What is going on here? Phineas and Ferb built a beach in the backyard, just like they said they were going to. But instead of just a cute little beach in their sandbox, it turned out to be this absolutely huge beach, with a coastline, and palm trees and a pier, and hula dancers, waterskiers, and tiki huts and dolphins and dancing and surfing, and everybody from the neighborhood showed up Oh! and then I was just about to share a smoothie with Jeremy when a coconut dropped on my head and that and just for a moment, it seemed the wily Buford would steal away the coveted surfing trophy from under the noses of our heroes but I can only continue my benign reign and spread love, happiness and ultimate popularity throughout my kingdom! If you would just let me have my moment. Oh, there you are Perry. (Perry chatters) Well, everybody! Looks like that's all for today. Phineas and Ferb! Phineas and Ferb! Phineas and Ferb! If you don't believe me, go see for yourself. That was great. Hey boys. Hey mom. So, how was your day at the beach? Wait! Wait! My kingdom! My Jeremy! It was all so beautiful! What have you done to my paradise? Candace, honey. I think it's time to get you out of the sun for a little while. I think she had fun. If summer only lasted one day (If summer only lasted a day) Stinky dog here with a special shout-out to my two new pals Phineas and Ferb for hosting a beach party that was hot hot hot! And speaking of hot, slather on the sunscreen, listeners, 'cause tomorrow's weather calls for another scorcher! With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes. Ha ha ha ha! He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action! He's a furry little flatfoot, who'll never flinch from a fray-ee-ay-ee-ay! He's got more than just mad skill He's got a beaver's tail and a bill And the women swoon whenever they hear him say (Perry chatters) He's Perry, Perry the Platypus!