Chapter 45: 45 Do You Love Him

When he arrived home, Ji An was no longer there. The food he cooked was untouched so he decided to just get himself ready to go to work.

Ji An got home and her daughter ran to her to give her a hug, "Hey, Sofia. Good morning. Have you been a good girl for Nana?"

"I'm always a good girl," she grinned. "When are we going to see daddy?"

"Before we go see daddy, I have something to tell you. It's very important. So you have to listen carefully. Okay?"

Sofia nodded, Madam Gu was just standing there listening to their conversation.

Ji An glanced at her mother, "Ma can we talk first."

"Let's go to the study." she lead the way.

"Ma, it's about her father—" Ji An shut her eyes and inhaled deeply, "I was taken advantage off... I mean... I was drugged and sexually assaulted." she crossed her arms and pressed her lips tightly, "Sofia was the result of that." she looked down on the floor.

Madam Gu was taken aback by her confession, "You mean you've been... ra...pe?" The shock in her face and voice was clearly seen and heard. She couldn't move from where she was standing and her legs trembled.

Ji An continued, "I believe I was given some kind of drug because I cannot recall what happened. I don't know his name, not even his face."

"Where were your father and your brother when it happened? Why didn't you tell me? When did this happen?" Meiling's tears flow from her eyes, she felt so bad that her daughter has to go through something so horrible without by her side.

"Ma, calm down." She walked to her and rubbed her arms, "Father and brother didn't know this! Father died because of me, I told him I was pregnant and he had a heart attack." Her tears immediately flow in her eyes as she remembered the past, "I'm a bad daughter." She started to sob and tears kept on flowing from her eyes. "I was going to tell you when I came here before but I guess it wasn't the right time."

Madam Gu hugged her daughter tightly, "I'm still your mother and I'm here to support you. You should have told me. Shhh... Don't cry. I'm here for you and Sofia now, remember that." She patted her daughters back. "So who is she calling daddy? Do you love him? Are you together?"

"Oh, it's Eric. I married him because I thought he was the one responsible for what happened to me. He is my best friend's brother. It turned out he was not the one, so I divorced him after I found out. I don't love him Ma, I only married him because I thought he was her father."

"Does he love you?"

"That's what he said." She sighed, "But I can't, he is like a brother to me. I don't feel the same way. I ended the marriage as soon as I found out the truth, it was for the best."

"Oh, my dear daughter. I should have been there for you. It's no use getting angry now. I'm mad at the person who did this to you and I'm angry at myself for not being there to protect you, but just look at your daughter. She's beautiful just like you. Very bright, very smart and very adorable."

"Ma, her father—" inhaled deeply, "I think he's not an average or random person."

Meiling furrowed her brows, "What do you mean?"

"I woke up in an expensive hotel room and he didn't really hurt me. He just... he was the first man..." It was hard for her to continue as it was too difficult to fathom what he did to her while she was out of it.

"Sshh... It's okay. I understand." Meiling hugged Ji An, "Do you think he knows you or if he got you pregnant?"

"To be honest, I don't know. He didn't look for me or tried to find me again. So I doubt he knows me. If he is rich, why me? It just doesn't make sense. Before, I didn't question this. Seeing Sofia now, that person must be— I really don't know what to think. It just doesn't add up."

"Do you want to look for him?"

"No. He might want to get close to my daughter. I would rather not know him. Besides he's in England. Being here means being far from that person."

"I watched her sleep last night, this might sound weird but the way she slept... it's like—" she paused and asked her a question instead, "Did you and Cheng Ze saw each other when he went to Europe about five-six years ago?"

Her brows creased, "Did he go to London?" She couldn't believe he went there and didn't even bother to see her or contact her!

"Oh, so you didn't meet each other? He travelled in Europe. I believe he stayed in London with Li Wei and his fiancee Lori. You didn't meet him?" Madam Gu was surprised, she's sure that she heard Li Wei and Cheng Ze talking about Ji An when they got back from their trip indicating that they have seen her.

"No! I didn't see him. He didn't even contact me. Maybe because he was with his girlfriend?" She felt jealous somehow.

'Hmm, that is weird. How will Li Wei know my Ji An if he hadn't met her?' Meiling thought but she set it aside and talked about something else, "Oh, anyway, do you need to find work?" She changed the subject swiftly when she saw her daughter's face got sad after hearing that Cheng Ze didn't bother to see her in London.

"Well, I studied psychology so I'm sure I can get a job here. But no rush, my ex-husband gave me a lot of money. But a job will help me take my mind off things and makes me busy." She gave her mother a warm smile.